Grandma’s life

? (1)

? 1949, the year New China was founded, was a year recorded in history. It was also the year my grandma was born.

In that era when there was no concept of family planning, grandma was born in a very ordinary family. Like most families at that time, the concept of "raising children to protect against old age" and "continuing the family life" was that everyone thought that the more boys they had, the better. The culture of favoring boys over girls was also very serious. Grandma's family is a reorganized family, with two boys and three girls. Grandma is the youngest child in the family, but she does not receive a lot of care. Since I can remember, what my grandma said the most was "Read more, and if you are promising, help your parents more."

When grandma was a teenager, she had to cut pig grass early in the morning, wash and cook, and take care of various housework. When I was grazing cattle in the morning, I was lucky enough to pass by the school. I was envious of the children inside who could study, and would secretly attend classes outside the school. It’s also because although Grandma Cengke doesn’t know how to read, she can write her own name and Arabic numerals within one hundred. I don’t know whether it was the accumulation of later life or the enlightenment of arithmetic as a child. Although grandma has never studied mathematics, she can still do mental arithmetic for addition and subtraction within one hundred. Grandma said that at that time, the teachers in the school still knew her and praised her for learning quickly. But she didn't have the opportunity to go to school, so this was something she regretted in retrospect.

During the period from adolescence to adulthood, grandma’s life had neither great joy nor great sorrow. Daily life at home is nothing more than washing and cooking, and on the ridges of the fields it is nothing more than spring planting and autumn harvest, working non-stop for food and clothing. Grandma said that at that time, eating was a very happy thing, and eating meat was a very luxurious thing. If more oil is added to the dishes, the taste will become more delicious. In that era, there were no fat people in the family. The fat people were probably wealthy landlords, living a life where they could eat bacon even if they were not in the New Year. So today, grandma has never been able to understand why young people of the current generation of grandchildren like to eat less to lose weight and like to lose weight without losing weight. She thinks this looks very ugly.

When grandma was 22 years old, she met grandpa through a blind date. Love in that era was probably more about the matchmaker's words and the parents' orders. Some people don't even see the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with until the day they get married. Although grandma didn’t meet grandpa until they got married, she had only met him a few times before they got married. She didn’t know grandpa very well, so she got married as a formality.

? (2)

1972 was the year when grandma got married. The story after the marriage is also the thing that grandma talks to us the most now. Grandma said that in their time, the criteria for choosing a husband were family background and craftsmanship. At that time, she was interested in her grandfather's sewing skills in addition to farming, so she felt more comfortable entrusting herself to this man. But the good times did not last long, because there was little understanding before marriage, getting along after marriage, and the integration of three views and personalities were everywhere difficult to overcome.

Half a year after her marriage, my grandma became pregnant. Her morning sickness caused her to eat irregularly. She might not be able to eat at the right time, and she might not be able to eat at the right time. Grandpa was very stubborn at that time. He only cared about farming, making money and saving money without spending money. Grandma's description can be described as "stingy". Grandma said that when she was pregnant with my father for several months, she had to pick rice with my grandfather with her pregnant belly raised, and it would take a long time to get up from squatting down. Grandpa didn't feel sorry for her and asked her to rest nearby. Instead, he scolded her for dragging her feet. When it was time to eat, she couldn't eat, and all she got was a cold "If you don't eat, don't be hungry later." Occasionally, when she was pregnant, she used her private money to buy a few preserved eggs, but was criticized by her grandfather for a long time. She said that the money she spent to buy preserved eggs can be used all the time if she buys one for home use. The preserved eggs will not be gone after two bites.

It was also from these trivial matters that my grandma became disheartened by the man in front of her, and gradually she became less talkative.

Every time I talk about these past events, my grandma’s eyes are always moist, and then she tells me earnestly that if you get married, you must find a loving boy to start a family, otherwise your life will be miserable. . I also asked my grandma, why don’t you choose divorce in this kind of life? But now think about it, in that feudal era, uneducated girls among the lower class people were instilled with the concept of "marrying and following their husbands" from an early age. For them, I am afraid that they rarely come into contact with the law in their lives. vocabulary. When their marriages encounter misfortune, most of them will choose to accept their fate, and they will only accept their fate. Instead of thinking about divorce, give yourself a chance to start over. Also, would a divorced woman really be accepted by her relatives and friends in the society at that time? Will it really be respected? Every time I think about this, I feel sorry for my grandma’s past.

? (3)

Dad was born in 1973. The arrival of new life seemed to add some hope and glory to grandma’s life, and also made her stronger. Just like what Gu Jia said in "Only Thirty", "The moment Xu Ziyan was born, Gu Jia was already dead, and she survived as Xu Ziyan's mother." The change in role has made grandma's life focus more on her children. The bad emotions that often exist will be relieved the moment you see the child. Grandma said that her father was a child she had saved from death. When she gave birth to him, she suffered from severe bleeding. Because the family had no money, they could not take her to the hospital. Grandpa's family also made this decision hesitantly, but in the end they decided not to go. Fortunately, both mother and son were safe in the end.

After giving birth, it was during the confinement period that needed to be taken care of, but it happened to coincide with the birth of my grandpa’s sister. Grandma’s mother-in-law was busy taking care of her daughter, and only grandpa and her mother were left at home. great-grandfather. Not only did the two grown men not know how to take care of a postpartum mother, they also had no inclination to take care of her. They were focused on working outside and farming. After all, in those days, if you didn’t work, you couldn’t get food.

During the final confinement period, grandma still took care of the housework. Even in the bitter winter, she had to go to the pond to wash clothes. She had to get up at dawn to feed the livestock, and she had to get up in the middle of the night to comfort the crying animals. little baby. Due to the lack of good health care during the confinement period, grandma's body had some root causes of disease, which would occur seasonally after she entered middle age.

Dad was three years old in 1976, and that year his first sister was born. In that era when boys were very popular, the birth of a girl would somewhat disappoint the family. Because everyone has always advocated "raising children for old age", the more boys in the family, the more secure they will feel. Many families have given birth to five or six girls, but they still insist on continuing to give birth, just to get a boy. If the family cannot afford to raise the baby because they produce too many children, they will give the baby girl to another family that cannot bear the baby. For stories like this, when I was a child, my grandma could easily point out that there were several such families around me, including some of her own relatives and friends.

In 1978, the family’s third child was born, and unfortunately she was still a girl. It was this child who caused grandma's lifelong pain. When my youngest daughter was about one year old, she had a fever that lasted for a long time. At first, the grandma asked to send the child to the hospital, but the family did not agree and kept delaying. At home, we could only do physical cooling. At first, the child could barely eat some rice cereal and occasionally cried a few times. Later, the child wouldn't open his mouth, couldn't feed food, didn't cry or fuss, and could only breathe weakly. However, it was too late to send him to the hospital at this time. Looking at the little life that was breathing weakly, there was no heartbeat, no cry, and no baby's rosy complexion. Just sleep there quietly, as quiet as a leather doll.

The grandma said that during the period after the child died, she cried every day, like crazy, her heart was torn to pieces, she was sensitive and blamed herself. I don’t know how I got through it later, but I got through it anyway. As I grew up, in my memory, my grandma told me twice about my little aunt who passed away.

There was never a time when my voice was not hoarse, my eyes were red, and my hands were trembling slightly. Every time she always laments that I have made it through, but she has not.

Perhaps this memory is an indelible scar in her life. It seems to be scabbed when opened, but it will still bleed if touched slightly.

? (4)

In the days that followed, grandma devoted herself to raising my father and aunt to grow up and start a family. In 19**, my father and mother got married. One year after their marriage, I came into this world. My birth brought a lot of joy to my grandma, but also caused her a lot of trouble for the rest of her life.

My grandma said that I was very ugly when I was born, with dark skin and not cute appearance. I said that when my father saw me, he frowned and asked her, "Mom, why does the child look like this?" Grandma was afraid that her mother would be sad when she heard it, so she whispered to her father: "This is what babies look like when they are born. It hasn’t bloomed yet.”

Although I am a girl, from beginning to end, I have never lost any care because of my gender. During my mother's confinement period, my grandma took good care of her. She fed the family's native chickens every day and cooked chicken and eggs for her mother. Mothers who have been bedridden for a day will also be fed four meals.

For grandma, giving birth is a new life that a woman snatches from the hands of the King of Hell. If she grabs it, it will be her own child. If she loses, she will lose herself to the King of Hell. She also knows that the confinement period has a great impact on a woman's body in the future, so as someone who has experienced it, how could she not feel sorry for her mother at that time. My mother said that the most exaggerated time my grandma made was when she made her eat a chicken and 14 eggs in one day. Then she was given so much milk that I couldn't eat it, and her chest hurt due to the bloating.

When I was 1 year old, my mother had to go out to work with my father, so she weaned me. During the period of weaning, I was not used to drinking milk powder yet, so I lost a lot of weight. My health was not good either, and I even had a fever. Grandma said that when I had a fever, she was so scared that she often got up in the middle of the night to change my towel and diaper. As soon as she touched my hot forehead, she burst into tears.

After going to the hospital for a long time, my fever subsided. She felt as if a stone had been lifted in her heart, and she even paid homage to her family's ancestors to thank them for their blessing. After I recovered from my minor illness, my grandma started giving me a lot of supplements. Within half a year, she fed me until my parents didn’t recognize me even when I came back during the Chinese New Year. I still can’t forget the photo of me when I was a child, with a round double chin. That weight relative to my height should be the peak of my life. When I was a child, I had a face that was hard to distinguish between male and female, but now that I have gained weight, everyone praises your grandson for raising him well.

Soon I reached the age to go to school, and it was at this age that I was beaten frequently. When I went to school for the first time, I was afraid of students and teachers. I went there once, and every time I went there, I had to start a tug-of-war with my grandma.

At first, my grandma forcibly pulled me and sent me to school. I sobbed and kept mumbling, "I don't want to go to school, I don't want to go to school." There are usually two ways to cure my sobbing. One is to stuff a candy in my mouth, and the other is to suppress it with fear. Grandma also knows it very well and usually buys me a candy. If I make a big fuss and can't hold the candy in my mouth, I'll be brought to the teacher. That’s right! Teachers with rulers are one of my fears. The moment I looked into the teacher's eyes, no matter how wronged I was, I had to sit down and study obediently.

There was another time that my grandma had been talking about and apologizing for many years. When I got up early in the morning, my grandma asked me to go to school with the older children in the village. I refused to go, life and death, and even got into a tantrum. I cried and rolled on the ground, and then completely made my grandma angry.

He came over with a stick and whipped me several times. The sound of roosters crowing and dogs barking that morning were drowned out by my pitiful cries. Every household knows that I was beaten so hard in the morning that I cried like a wolf. Finally the physical pain made me give in and go to school crying. When I came back in the evening, there was a table of my favorite dishes for dinner, as well as a bowl of noodles with poached eggs. I was a little flattered, because it was normal for my grandma to hit me just for the sake of hitting me, and not to be attentive afterwards, but this time it was too exaggerated.

Then while eating, grandma told me very embarrassedly that today is my birthday. She remembered it a few days ago, but she was so annoyed this morning that she forgot about it, and then she even beat me.

So I became the first person in the village whose birthday gift was a beating. I have kept this thing in my heart for many years, and now I feel angry and funny when I think about it.

Later, when I grew up and could go to school alone, I had no less worries. The older children who followed him followed suit, climbing trees, playing with water, playing with torches, setting off whips... Every time they played, they were lucky not to be discovered, but if they were discovered, they would be beaten. At that time, I had no knowledge or judgment about dangerous things. After I was beaten, I only knew that it was something that would get me beaten. I didn't do it for fear of being beaten. I didn't know that it was dangerous.

? (5)

Soon after graduating from elementary school, I entered middle school and began to live a boarding life. I come back once a week, and the biggest warmth every time I come back is the table of my favorite meals. The old man has never read any books, but he understands one thing very well. Only when you are well fed and clothed can you have the strength to do more things. Your body is your capital.

One of the most memorable things in my junior high school year was the flu-like mumps outbreak. That time, my deskmate just took a sick leave because of this, and I got caught right away. Later I heard that more than half of the students in the class were suffering from the disease, and then the school suspended our class.

That time, I suffered from swelling and pain on the side of my jaw and a fever. At its most severe, I had to be helped to walk up the stairs. I felt dizzy when I stood up. I drank eight bottles of water in one day. I went back and forth to the health center many times, and my fever kept coming back and forth, but it never got better. Grandma was so worried that she tried every method, whether it was folk remedies or folk theories about ghosts, ghosts and snakes.

After hearing from the old man that boiling herbal water for bathing was effective, she went to the mountains early in the morning to collect medicinal materials and boiled a bucket full of medicinal water. She heard from others that boiling eggs with herbal medicines was effective, and she also boiled eggs. Plate; I heard which temple is the best for keeping safe, so I went there and knelt down a lot. The most exaggerated thing was that they took me to the so-called goddess in the next village and asked the goddess to blow two breaths of "fairy energy" on me. When I turned around, I couldn't help retching a few times. Such superstitious operations really angered me. I had a fight with my grandma when I got back and asked her to stop doing such useless things. We had a loud quarrel at that time. I was helpless, and so was my grandma. I still remember that time she felt as aggrieved as a child and stood motionless in front of me. But at that time, my head was filled with anger, and I closed the door hard, keeping her out.

I calmed down in the middle of the night, regretted that I had not controlled my temper during the day, and prepared to go see her. As a result, I saw her secretly burning paper to worship outside, clasping her hands together and praying: "Please bless my granddaughter to be healthy, safe, and get well soon...", murmured a few words, and bowed deeply. He nodded a few times, got up and walked a few steps, repeated the same prayer, kowtowed again, and continued this operation for hundreds of meters. You don't need to think about it to know that it was the recipe given by the "goddess" during the day. Although at that time, there was a feeling of irritation in my heart that "I hate iron but cannot become steel", and I was a little bit complaining about why she didn't listen to me and didn't believe in science but was superstitious. But the words of the prayer were like boiling water, pouring on my heart, and the hot temperature made my nose sore. These methods seemed so unreasonable, but in her eyes they were all hopes.

Half a month later, I was cured of my illness, the swelling of my jaw had subsided, the fever had not returned, and everything was restored. Grandma was overjoyed like a child and offered another stick of incense to the ancestor.

(6)

Later, when I went to high school, I went to the city and came back once a month. Life in high school was filled with all kinds of exercises, and I had no time to take into account too many people and things around me. I spent less and less time with my grandma.

After I went to college, I came back once a semester. I often went to my parents' place during the summer vacation, and I only saw her once or twice a year at most. It turns out that without being together day and night, a person can fade out of his life so quietly.

My grandma is now over 70 years old. She can’t even put on a needle or thread even if she wears reading glasses. She often cannot hear what is said to her. Time flies so fast that if you don't pay attention, too many traces of time will be left on her body. When my grandma was in her 40s, she often said that she would not live to be 60, and that women in her family had short lives. Her mother and grandmother both died in their 50s.

? Fortunately, time finally favored this ill-fated old man in the second half of his life, leaving us with the opportunity to love her well.

? Grandma has been busy with her children for most of her life. She loved her children and her descendants. Grandma said that thanks to my coming, she became a grandma and had the opportunity to take care of a new life again.

? I am also grateful for her existence, which made me full of love and care for the rest of my life. In my later years, I hope that time will wait, and that in exchange for our love, you will always be here!

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