A very incisive and interesting copy

1. Teacher: Why didn't you even have 1 punctuation in your composition entitled "Saving your loved ones"? Student: How can a matter of life and death stop?

2. Me: Master, pull over and I'll fart. Master: Nothing, just put it in the car. ..... poof ... Master: Dude, let's get off and have a cigarette. ...

My good looks are mainly due to my parents. If they hadn't given me this mouth, I wouldn't be talking nonsense here.

We were all very happy when we were young, because ugliness and poverty were not so obvious then.

Once a person was drinking coffee in Starbucks, a child came over and asked, Uncle, are you here for a blind date? I said, no, the child ran to the door at once: Sister, come in, don't worry, it's not him ... Shit, that means I'm ugly!

6. Freshman military training, there is a lovely girl in the class with a chubby baby. Her foot was bitten by mosquitoes at night, so her whole foot was swollen. During military training, she would take off her shoes and sit next to her. When the guide heard the news, she came to visit. She was surprised and asked, how did this foot swell like this? The girl moved the other weakly: teacher, it's so swollen, that's just my original one.

7. My daughter-in-law told me that the washboard at home represents not instruments of torture, but ritual vessels, representing the majesty of rulers. Just like the dog's head spear in Kaifeng, it won't really be used for execution, but I reserve your right to kneel and rub the washboard! I'm a little confused! )

8. I think I have lost my memory. The specific performance is that once you start shopping, you forget the fact that you have no money.

9. In today's society, girls learn martial arts, boys learn piano, boys learn piano to pick up girls, and girls learn martial arts to prevent being provoked. Don't you feel embarrassed!

10. How I wish when I was drinking, someone next to me looked at me affectionately and whispered, Drink less, it will hurt my health. However, in reality, there is always a bad friend shouting: you MD, raise fish! After drinking ... life is so unpredictable.

1 1. Just now, my nephew was beaten again. The reason is this: My nephew watched a small video in which the rooster only cared about his own food, but the hen gave the food to the chicken. When eating, my sister-in-law gave her nephew meat, and my brother thought his nephew was too fat and wouldn't let him eat a piece of meat. My nephew thought of the video and curled his mouth and said to my brother, You are not as good as that chicken dad … My brother thought my nephew scolded him!

12. I love to ignore pork last year, but I can't afford pork this year.

13. Last night, I dreamed that someone gave me 20 million yuan on condition that I broke up with my boyfriend immediately. I cried when I heard this. I rushed up and hugged her thigh and said, "You must keep your word!" "

14. Mosquitoes accidentally fell and broke their feet, so they had to amputate. Mozzie's father said, wait a minute, we'll carry him on the cow's back before the operation. Mother Mosquito asked: Why do you want to go to Niubei? Mosquito's father said, alas, it's terrible to have no common sense. I'm afraid he will bleed when I operate!

15. It doesn't matter, you're not fighting alone. When you are lonely, please remember that there is Qian Qian's single dog behind you!

16. I am two years older than my sister. When I was a child, my sister rummaged through my schoolbag and read my notes carefully. I said with a mature face: I don't understand. You will be exposed to it in a few years. My sister nodded doubtfully and then asked me, Brother, can I borrow this note for half a day? When I was puzzled, my sister said: The teacher said I couldn't find anyone uglier than my handwriting. Show it to my teacher tomorrow to see if she is convinced ... sure. ...

17. In the bathhouse, while rubbing his son's back, an adult asked: You are still young, and Dad will help you rub your back. What should you do when dad is old? The son said, don't worry, I'm not as stingy as you. I'll find you a back massage. Isn't it just a matter of tens of dollars?

18. I met a colleague while shopping at the weekend and took her five-year-old son shopping together. Seeing her son's fleshy face was lovely, I kissed her son. This Xiong Haizi threw his face into the ground with his hand and said, God, it stinks. I don't want this face ... children have so many things, don't I just have bad breath? What about you?

19. My boyfriend is very handsome and always gets upset when communicating. Later, we got married, from the initial sweet love to the present daily necessities, Xiaoyi Wen and Xiaoyi Wen vinegar tea.

20. I went to the bathroom with some sisters today, and then an idiot said to see who had been in the sauna for a long time. The first person who can't stand going out will invite everyone to dinner, and we all agree. As a result, I don't know what happened When I woke up in the hospital, the first thing I said was: Who pays the bill?

2 1. Son: "Mom, what do you mean by Nuo Nuo?" Mom: "those who never express their opinions and often say' yes, yes, yes'." Dad, are you right? " Dad: "Yes, yes, yes."

22. I once went to a relative's house for a drink and met a girl who was pleasing to the eye. That's a meal! I finally understand. Then my dad came over and went straight to the girl and said, Sister, why are you here? This is my son ... son, call aunt! I single dog what mood ... Sin!

23. The commander's daughter is waiting for someone to match her, so Mr. Li recommended himself: Commander, I have a nephew to match your daughter. He has all the characteristics of an ancient celebrity. The commander was happy and arranged a blind date for his daughter that day. That night, the commander asked her daughter how she was doing, and her daughter replied coldly: It's really famous! Yan Zi's appearance, Wargo's mouth, Napoleon's height, Sun Bin's legs. ...

24. I went to the sauna, and the master who massaged me was very good at it. I have never met anyone who can exert his strength on my fat body. I can't help but sigh: Master, your skill is really good. I will definitely find you next time! The master replied: Oh, I graduated from pastry major, and I can find a job today! According to this fat body, it is the same as dough ... the same thing ... hmm. ...