Why is it that I was wronged, and finally my husband couldn't see it at all and made sense for their family?

I was destined to be the wrong person when I got married. My family is not at the same level, and my level of thinking is different. I naively thought that I was looking for my husband, and it was enough for him to be kind to me. But in fact, I was wrong, and now I think I am really wrong.

I still don't know my husband well enough. On the surface, I can cook and wash clothes for you, which is good for you, but my heart is still towards their family, and my thinking is still their thinking. Always entangled in some family chores, human relations, and mutated family thinking!

( 1)

Why do you say that? Take giving birth to a baby as an example. Before giving birth to the baby, my husband and I agreed that for hormonal reasons, we should take care of my emotions for the next month and do everything as I say. I want to eat and do whatever I want. Everything has changed since the baby was born. Maybe he thought I gave birth to a baby girl (he and his family always wanted a boy).

Everything has changed since the baby was born. I want to have a healthy confinement. I don't want to follow the old routine. Can't wash your face, can't wash your hair, can only eat porridge. It happened that my husband was the first to object, and even I couldn't open the window in the month. On the surface, it's for my own good. In fact, I deliberately opposed it. It happened that I was stubborn and suffered a lot in my confinement.

Mother-in-law doesn't have to do anything, so she prepares what her husband bought, such as getting up early in the morning to help me cook porridge. Cooking monthly meals, scrubbing my body, washing diapers, cleaning up housework, taking care of the baby and so on are all served by my mother. I told my husband that it is so easy for you to meet your mother. You don't have to do anything. I pay for all the materials. As a result, the husband said, "didn't my mother cook the broth early?"

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Your mother cooked the soup. I forgot that your mother made such a great contribution.

In this way, I began to have a series of dissatisfaction and resentment towards this family.

(2)

So I should go to work, and I'm starting to worry about taking care of the children.

I thought my mother-in-law would take the initiative to tell us to look after the children (99% of the families in my hometown look after their grandchildren at my grandmother's house), but we had a long argument about it. ...

My thoughts on nannies are, first of all, I don't advocate giving children to parents or family members and working alone in other places. First, the growth and development of children who are not around can't be understood at the first time. Second, education and parenting styles are different. Third, the parent-child companionship that children need is not satisfied, which is not conducive to psychological development. My husband and I agree on this point, and he agrees.

Secondly, my mother can't leave home to accompany me because there are old people, my brother and my father at home.

Therefore, only looking for my mother-in-law, the only old man in her mother-in-law's family passed away, there was no old man on it, my brother's family was independent, and my father-in-law worked outside all the year round and came back during the holidays. So my mother-in-law has nothing to do with us, just a matter of will. As a result, from the year before to the year after, I whined for nearly two months and didn't say whether I would watch it or not. I am in a hurry. I am going to work soon. What does this old man mean? My husband and I are stubborn about the result. He kept hesitating and said he was talking.

After several talks, my mother-in-law meant that she didn't want to go, but she was afraid that her brother and sister-in-law would disagree. What she means is that she is under the control of her brother and sister-in-law, teaching my husband privately and letting her husband talk to her brother and sister-in-law. As long as her brother and sister-in-law agree, they will be fine.

The result was a suffocating dinner. The reason for the dinner is to please my brother and sister-in-law and get them to agree. As a result, the meal was stuffy. No one spoke from beginning to end. Husband asked his brother privately, and his brother asked his sister-in-law. My sister-in-law has two children, so I'm embarrassed to ask. My husband is also embarrassed to speak, and my brother and sister-in-law are pretending. In this way, a game of rice staring at each other, eat their own. When I went back at night, my husband bought another box of milk for home and told my sister-in-law to let my mother look after the baby. Do you agree? Sister-in-law replied: Look. Embarrass my husband. The next day, my sister-in-law came to tell me that your mother-in-law was babysitting and asked me what to do. Who can see who? I really can't look at these two dolls. You can make her look at you and ask her.

In this way, my mother-in-law has nothing to say. Later, when I asked her, she replied, "No one showed it to me, so I just looked around!"

Actually, this is quite irritating, but I didn't refute her at that time, so I said, Oh, thank you.

(3)

A few months later, I was going to work and asked my mother-in-law if she could look after the children. She said yes, but it won't be long. /kloc-when I was 0, I took it back to my hometown to see it. I asked my husband, and he said, you can leave if you want, but you can't leave if you want. My mother-in-law has already worked in a restaurant, so she can't just leave. Then he said that he didn't want his children to come up (Beijing), so he might as well stay in his hometown. He gave a bunch of reasons. Did you ask my mother again? I said yes and she said yes. Husband said that she (mother-in-law) was embarrassed to refuse because of face. I will ask her again!

In this way, my husband and I fell into a cold war. I'm going to find a nanny. My husband said he couldn't afford it. I said your mother. My husband said why my mother paid! I was so angry that I scolded him, but your family didn't help me and the money didn't help me. I was psychologically fragile.

(4)

Now I really realize that I may have married the wrong person, which stems from more complicated family thinking and abnormal thoughts. I didn't know this before I got married.

What they care about is:

1, the wedding bride price of the old people is not as expensive as the second child;

2. Parents work all the year round for a sense of security;

3. Show the second-child family the delay in making money to supplement the boss;

4, the old people took their children to their mother-in-law's house, without them;

Step 5 be fair

(5)

And I never knew all this, thinking that big families are kind. When I visited my parents-in-law, I bought them new clothes, skirts, trousers, shoes, belts and gave them a big gold ring. At that time, my mother-in-law didn't ask for money when she rummaged through the cupboard. Yes, my brother's aunt bought a lot of things for my brother's two children before she came in, such as food, clothes, toys for play, school use and so on. Now they are still wearing the clothes I bought. Children used to be cute, and buying things for them was always clingy. We like it too. Now we don't buy things often, and our children have grown up and become less close. Before we went to Beijing, my brother went to work and walked all the way. We had lunch at noon. Seeing that he didn't have any money with him, we gave him 300 yuan for fear that he would get into trouble when he went out. Later, my brother came to live in my house and worked in Beijing. He had no cash when he left, so I gave him 500 yuan. Although he wants to pay me back later, I don't want it.

My idea is that for the sake of family harmony, I will continue to support them, treat them well and help them. After all, they are really difficult. Actually, it's not. I didn't expect my brother and sister-in-law to look at me like this (saying that I didn't wash diapers myself after I was born, but my mother-in-law did; If you say I have a lot of money, you can stop treating them like people. My mother-in-law often pretends to be deaf and dumb, pointing fingers at mulberries; My husband also tends to maintain their family. He is passive towards Nuo Nuo. He always talks to his family and makes me compromise. At first, I felt fine. Don't be stingy. Now I feel more and more that this matter is endless. I will listen to my brother's instructions all my life, tolerate their unreasonable troubles and ignore my mother-in-law's private money. Well, most importantly, it seems that this rule has become a matter of course, and my indifference has become a good bully.

(6)

At the baby's full moon, parents gave 1000, as well as a baby bracelet, a silver bell and a birthday 1000. Relatives even gave money for everything from baby's red ass cream, diapers, clothes and shoes to hundreds of thousands of things, and her mother-in-law gave 600 yuan, with nothing. At first, she wanted to buy a silver lock. Many relatives of my mother-in-law's family don't come, and they basically give them to 100.

This is the wrong door, the wrong door.

After the baby's full moon, she basically stays at my mother's house. My mother and father had a nephew for the first time, and they were very happy. However, my mother-in-law and husband take this care for granted. They didn't want to take care of the children, so they kept me at my mother's house. They didn't tell me to go back to live, and I don't want to go back to live myself. I stayed at my mother's house for several months. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, comes to see the children during recess, just like shopping. She never said that my mother has been working hard with her children. Now I need the help of the elderly to look after the children at work, and I have to hire a nanny as a result, which makes my father very unhappy. She said you were looking for such a family from the beginning. The ancients said that it is reasonable to be appropriate, and their family doesn't know any manners.

Yes, from thought to behavior, from etiquette to habit.

(finally)

Why do I know that I have been wronged and my husband is still defending his mother?

Now, what should I do? Will the marriage continue?