Please help the experts, what are the techniques for talking between people, thank you

The best way to talk with people you just met or to talk about people you don’t know is to try talking from one topic to another. If a certain topic doesn’t work, try again. Try the next one. Or when it's your turn to speak, you can tell us about something you've done or thought about, whether it's gardening, planning a trip, or something else we've already talked about. Don’t panic about a moment of silence, just let it pass. Conversation is not a race, it is like running to the finish line.

When you find a stranger sitting next to you at a party, introduce yourself before you start fishing. And then there are all kinds of ways to start. If you are a shy person, think about it in your head before going to the party. If the hostess has told you something about him, you can say, "I know your team won the final last week. It must have been great." If you don't know anything about him, say, "You Live here or a tourist?" From his answer you can expect to start the conversation. He may ask you where you live, what you do for a living, etc. Very simple, but be careful to give him a chance to speak.

Another great opening line (and one that’s immediately impactful) is to ask for suggestions. For example, you might ask an avid gardener: "I would like to convert the annuals in my garden to perennials. What would you recommend?" Or for a person working from home or in the office, you might ask: "I would like to replace the annuals with perennials." Buy a fax machine. Do you have any recommendations? "If there's no response, ask him what he thinks. It's safe to ask him or her for his or her opinion on anything: politics, sports, the stock market, fashion, local news, anything, but not a topic that has already been asked and the response is vehemently objectionable or controversial.

Another topic that provides a good starting point at the dinner table is food or wine: "Is it good? I don't have time in the kitchen to really make a good meal. Do you cook it yourself?" < /p>

Don’t avoid topics. In an election year, "What do you think of the vice-presidential candidates?" is an effortless conversation starter, as long as you remember that your response to the answer isn't sarcasm or vehement opposition.

★Compliment Tips (COMPLIMENTS)

We all like compliments from others and are grateful for them. So I often wonder why so few people do this. I think sometimes it's because most people are naturally more private, and some people are shy or embarrassed. Others, meanwhile, simply don't pay attention or never think about how happy a few compliments can make someone else's day. But if you're someone who has a hard time dishing out superlatives, you don't have to hold back on those "obsolete compliments." "I met with Ann Tannen yesterday and she said to me you run an amazing fund raising arm, PTA. What's the hardest thing to do in this process? To start a conversation, find ways to get it started instead of Ask the other person to just say "thank you," "yes," or "no."

Make sure your compliments are sincere. Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, "Compliments are thinly sliced ??sausages." The baby is beautiful; the tout is a sausage cut so thickly that it is indigestible. "

★How to start a conversation

Conversing with strangers is one of the most important steps in interpersonal communication. Handling this step well can make people make many interesting friends. Handling it poorly It will cause embarrassment and lose many opportunities.

How to find the most common points when talking to strangers?

Pay attention to it

< p>You can tell a person's mood, mental state and living habits from his clothes, behavior and conversation. Before starting a conversation, first look at the similarities between the other person and yourself. For example, he wears a pair of Nike air cushions like you. Sneakers, you can start your conversation with the topic of Nike shoes

Test with words

Two strangers are relatively speechless. In order to break the silence, they must first speak. , you can use self-talk, for example, "It's too hot." When the other party hears this sentence, he may take the initiative to answer and continue the conversation.

You can also start with an action and help the other person do something casually, such as pushing down the suitcase. You can also discover the characteristics of the other person's accent and open up a communicative situation. For example, you can hear the other person's Shanghai accent and say, "Are you from Shanghai?" . This topic can be expanded upon.

After starting a conversation, the next step is how to continue the conversation. There are following taboos when talking to Westerners in formal occasions: Do not talk about salary, bank deposits and other money-related issues. In Western countries salaries are kept secret. In addition, some Westerners, especially those with higher quality, don't like others to be interested in them because of money. As Chinese society becomes increasingly commercialized. Wages are no longer what they used to be. Everyone's wage level is the same, and you can deduce how much others earn from your own wage. So it's rude to ask, "How much do you make?"

Don’t ask questions like "Are you married?" or "How old is your child?"

The custom of men marrying women is changing in contemporary society. Some people choose to be single, and some families are made up of homosexuals. There are also many single-parent families. An individual's married and sexual life is often considered extremely private. Private topics can lead to failed conversations.

★The look in your eyes while talking

There is nothing more embarrassing than when you are talking to him and he looks around. Some people look around while talking; others look around while listening. Both types of people lack the basic responsibility of being a good, attentive listener. When you are speaking to anyone, look at him or her, not intensely, but constantly so that your interlocutor understands that you are not distracting.

Never look around the room when someone is speaking to you. Even if you're listening, don't appear bored or interested in what's going on around you. If your listener does this, you can stop and stare with him, as if you're curious about the wonder he's discovered. If he asks you what you're doing, you can say, "Oh, I'm interested in what you're looking at." Then continue the conversation and he'll get the hint.

★The Great Dictator in Conversation

There are such things and people all around us, and we hope we are not one of them.

It is a good idea to pay attention to what you are saying. For example, pay attention to whether you are a domineering person, whether you are a dictatorial person, whether you are a stubborn person, whether you are a dissatisfied person, and whether you are a domineering person. People who give others a chance to express different opinions. Or notice if someone is trying to move away while you are speaking, or seems to be looking around desperately for the nearest way out.

One of the definitions of a nasty person is "a person who tells nothing but himself when you want to tell him something about himself." Another definition of a nasty person is more accurately described as: a person who insists on telling you nothing about yourself. People who don’t want to hear things. He or she insists that you listen to the end, despite your obvious impatience.

These are part of your personality and so ingrained that it is impossible to change them. If you find yourself having authoritarian traits in your conversations, just keep your mouth shut the next time you talk and listen, no matter what you have to say. If you are afraid that you will be annoying, try to read newspapers or magazines and find a topic of interest to study, such as environmental protection, etc. Everyone must be concerned about it. Your rich knowledge will not only make you join the conversation, but also pass on Interesting information.

If someone repeats a story you've heard at least twice, is it okay to say that?quot;Oh, yeah, I remember how you let everyone know when that guy fell All at the back. You must have saved his life. " Then change the subject. If you're part of a conversation and someone is repeating a story, you can quietly leave, or if someone notices, you can say, "Oh, I know that. Sorry, I'll be back in a moment. " Then leave.

★How to answer personal questions?

If you are asked about the price of new clothes, unless you are a very close person, you are actually not obliged to provide him with relevant information. Just answer "I don't know (or I can't remember) how much it cost. "

Inquiries about money are generally inappropriate and should be ignored. You cannot say, "It's none of your business." "But you can say: "If you don't mind, I won't talk about it. Regarding the cost of living, it’s so emotionally draining…” and then changed the subject.

Another question similar to snooping is "What do you do?" It's best to ask about the person's job after they've identified an area of ??knowledge, or when the conversation is about a specific work-related topic. Then you can ask: "Are you working in this field?".

★When to shut your mouth

Don’t regret not speaking out. "It's better to keep your mouth shut and let others think you're a fool than to open your mouth and say everything." Don't pretend to know everything. Really smart people never hesitate to say "I don't know."

People who speak casually tend to talk too much, sometimes resulting in imprudence. People with rich imaginations are always unreliable in their speech. On the other hand, a person who is always silent often dresses well among close people, but he or she does not add attraction to the party. In conversation, the middle path is always best, as with so many things. You need to know when to listen to others and when to speak yourself.

Don’t repeat yourself, whether that’s telling the same story over and over again or telling details that sound interesting. Many things are interesting simply told or told for the first time, but nothing is worth retelling.

★Think before you speak (THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK)

Almost all mistakes or errors in conversations are caused by a lack of serious consideration or lack of consideration. For example, if a computer programmer goes to dinner with a literature professor and the computer programmer only talks about technical programming languages ??and nothing else, then this will be a very ill-considered conversation. Because, even at work, not everyone wants to hear a lengthy lecture on any topic.

Most of the time no one reminds us that we speak without consideration or consideration. As long as we pay attention to what we say and the other person's reaction, we can discover our shortcomings. It is our business to think before we speak. Dorothy Sarnoff said: "I" is the smallest of the letters. Don't use it as the biggest word in your conversation. For example, instead of saying 'I think' when talking to someone, say 'What do you think?' '".

★HOW NOT TO CONVERSE

Facing the BRAGGER When the conversation degenerates into flattery, politely add your own comments and try to change the subject if he tells you a lurid story about himself. is to find a reason to leave as soon as possible, unless you are very interested in what he is saying

Borrowing idioms from other languages ??to punctuate your conversations can sound artificial unless you speak the language a lot or you want to. The word you are saying has no absolute equivalent or translation in Chinese, or the idiom has been widely used and circulated.

If others say a word or idiom that is obviously a foreign language, try not to pay attention to it. Unless you're very interested and don't know what it means and want to stop and ask, "What does it mean?" " .

"How old are you? "

Many people don't like to be asked their age, and it's a thoughtless question. However, it's often asked, and there are many ways to get around it. You can say "Oh! Big enough. "You can also tell him an approximate age, for example, over twenty-one, or use a number you like, "twenty-nine (or thirty-nine, forty-nine, etc.) and keeping. " If someone insists on asking, "Oh, tell me. "Tell him, "Obviously, I don't want to tell you, do you need to know? "

Facing insults

What should you say if someone slanders a group, individual or country in front of you?

Tell him sincerely, His comments are offensive, don't want to hear them anymore, and walk away. Or you can say, "Let's not talk about this anymore." "Then move on to another topic. Every time you join in a conversation that makes a moral, racial or other denigration of an individual, whether the comments are genuine denigration or a joke, you are exercising your tolerance.