Funny and humorous copy

1. You add me, don't chat with me, don't praise me, don't hook up with me. Are you looking for opportunities to plot against me?

2. The first time I went to the bank to apply for a card, the counter gave me a list. The type of certificate I filled in was rectangular.

As an experienced person, my advice to young people is: don't come over.

I often look at you on the bus, and you often look at me. I fell in love with you at first sight, but you clung to your wallet.

5. The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light?" My uncle said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt?

6. A brain is a good thing, but if you have big breasts, you can do without a brain.

7. The doctor said that it is not good for your eyes to watch your mobile phone while walking. Now I run to see it.

8. Fat let go of my waist and dare to come at my chest.

9. Customer: Boss, do you have rice noodles? Boss: Yes. Customer: How much is a bowl? Boss: Six dollars. Customer: Give me two steamed buns ~ Boss: ........

10. Just now, someone told me that "you will become the richest man in the world", and it felt as if life had been ruined. I am bored to death.

1 1. I read a lot about the disadvantages of staying up late online. For me, the biggest change is from happy staying up late to worrying about staying up late.

12. In math class, the teacher asked to answer questions, and all the class raised their hands except Xiao Ming. Teacher: Xiao Ming, tell me. Xiao Ming: Teacher, do you sell walkers? Where can't I order?

13. From today on, as long as they are my friends, anyone who has no money will reply to me, and I can tell you how I spent my days without money.

14. Holding a courier feels like reuniting with your long-lost flesh and blood, but often after unpacking, you find that the child looks like Lao Wang next door.

15. I was in a hurry to go out today, and I drove a little fast. I accidentally scraped an old lady and quickly got off the bus and said, "Sister, are you okay?" The old lady got up and patted the clothes and said, "The young man has a sweet mouth. I'm fine. Go! "

16. What is the loneliest thing you have ever heard? Classmate, you are the only one left in the homework.

17. How to explain your obesity gracefully? There are so many things on my mind that it's hard to lose weight.

18. Ancient robbery: I opened this road and planted this tree. If you want to pass by here, leave money to buy a road. After thousands of years of civilization baptism, in today's society, robbery is like this: 500 meters in front of the toll booth, please slow down.

19. Young people should never lose confidence because of a math class. You're not the only one who can't do it.

20. The goddess is getting better and better to me. Now that I give her a gift, she will be afraid that I will waste money and say to me, "Save it!" "

2 1. When my wife was pregnant, I called my father to report the good news and said excitedly, Dad, you are going to be a grandson!

22. Tell me about you. If you don't have a diploma, it's still a shame to learn from others. If you're not smart, you're still bald.

23. I don't know Wu Bai very well, but his brother 250 knows me very well.

24. If I don't step on your aj or your Balenciaga, can I sit on your supreme and kiss you gently?