My father died of illness because they had a bad relationship. If they didn't quarrel every day and have a harmonious relationship, my father wouldn't necessarily get cancer, so he hates his mother.

One of the mentality: children are always indifferent.

Xu teacher's parents have been quarreling for 30 years, and there will be no contradiction between their quarrels and big changes, some minor frictions and feelings. He thinks this is a normal thing. As long as there is no principle of right or wrong, they will not quarrel about their affairs. When his parents quarrel, he can either go out or do his own thing, just forget it happened. Life is very stressful now. I hope I can go home for dinner happily. Their parents, if they are involved in a quarrel, will easily affect your mood, so just don't worry.

Expert:

The quarrel between parents and children cannot be completely ignored. Sometimes the quarrel between parents is caused by a symbol child. Seriously, when it meets some parents quarreling, it is necessary to analyze the reasons for their quarreling.

Of course, in most cases, the quarrel between parents does not need intervention, because living together for a lifetime, especially the elderly, will inevitably lead to friction. When some old people make a fuss just to adjust their lives, just like greetings and greetings in our daily life, you don't stand in the cross-browed project, but make a joke there in a way, which includes care and warmth.

In addition, parents advocate not participating in the principle issue, so that they can fully express their opinions. If there is a quarrel, children should still intervene to prevent the quarrel from escalating into a cold war or even violence. Xu suggested that all parents, regardless of their children's bad behavior, can coordinate and tell jokes in a more humorous way, dilute their shortcomings or mistakes, and change the subject in a lively atmosphere, so that the atmosphere can once again become a scene to prevent new parents, especially middle-aged and elderly people, from long-term problems that may arise because of emotions and dangerous events.

Mentality 2: Once it is forcibly opened.

Some parents' quarrels are mostly irrelevant, so they will not stop quarreling, and the more noisy they are, the more embarrassing they will be. When parents are old, quarreling can not only solve any problems, but also cause unnecessary troubles and even hurt feelings. Therefore, Mr. Han doesn't want to see his parents quarrel. Every time he sees a trivial dispute between them, he always tries to convince them that if they think it is serious, they will forcibly separate Han from their parents to ease their emotions, otherwise the quarrel will escalate, which may not be a joke. Maybe the Cold War has been going on for a long time.

Expert:

This way is not desirable, because the parents of children are involved in the fight, you need to find your own position first and grasp the discretion. It is not convenient for young people to interfere with their parents. On the other hand, everyone has different values and views on this issue. However, there must be a generation gap between parents and children, so it is easy to put yourself in the position of the referee if you quarrel with your parents without consultation, and you will be influenced by the referee's decision without convincing both sides. The reward may be that both parents will not understand each other's buried psychology, and it is easier to dig up old scores in the next quarrel.

In addition, parents who quarrel are forced to pull to a certain extent, which can prevent their quarrel from escalating, but it is also equivalent to depriving them of the opportunity to express their opinions and communicate. On the contrary, some things quarrel, which can be made clear and understandable. It can't be said that more and more contradictions are made up if there are misunderstandings that are forced to go astray.

Parents quarrel, children finish housework, and then it is difficult to ask, "Don't you have their voice?" "My life and work are all finished", "Eat their voices" and "Let's leave their voices" and so on. It is easy to relax the atmosphere, change the mood and quarrel, and save face for parents. You can say that this is a better way to deal with it.

Attitude 3: Children often have to bear 1.

As a woman who works in Beijing, she usually does not have much time to go home. After returning home, if her parents quarrel, she usually favors her mother. Her reason is that the main energy is spent on her father's work, and he rarely cares about family matters. If it is a trivial matter, it is obviously unreasonable because of family disputes. In addition, the mother is still in a weak position when she has a dispute with her father. No matter from the power situation, the daughter will naturally make a wish to the weak side. Emotionally speaking, his father is completely in a dignified position, and his daughter and the daughter of the heart of nature are more casual, so when parents argue, they must be partial to their mother.

Mr. Hao believes that the quarrel between parents because of family chores is mainly because the mother is too wordy and always nags for a long time, and the angry words of the father will inevitably be relative. And many times, when the father's point of view appears, they will agree with each other's point of view, so often mom and dad will compromise.

Expert:

First, it is often unwise for parents to quarrel when they are alone, and sometimes it may intensify contradictions. Because when parents fight, if the children's current situation is no longer a statement of family harmony, it is because they have to face another situation and strive for victory. If it is the latter, children will join in, so that one of them will benefit, and the other will feel very disappointed and even more angry.

It can be seen from the case that the daughter is more interested in the likes of her mother, father and son, which can not help but make people feel emotional. This is because busy children have their own views on things. Those women who are naturally sympathetic to the weak are naturally watched by their mothers, but if their father is reasonable, this selfish daughter will feel wronged by his father, and with the passage of time, it will lead to the alienation of the relationship between father and daughter. Sons have a similar understanding of what a father is because of many viewpoints, and a father is an inevitable prejudice. However, fathers often do more harm to the mother's son, because when parents quarrel, the mother's son prefers to stand by and watch them, because in adulthood, the son is a symbol of power, and this power is even higher than that of the father. The greatest mother will feel more sorry for her son, and it is difficult for her mother to accept a biased father emotionally. children

The best way

Parents are not actively involved in disputes, but always maintain a neutral position to coordinate and be fair, talk about their own views, and let them calm down and stop quarreling.

Attitude 4: at that time, regardless of post-event coordination.

Because Huang is sensible, she feels that her parents often quarrel. The typical "three or five days, a little noisy" didn't help before. Now, the feeling of their quarrel has a great influence, but I don't know how to stop them from quarreling, so I can only wait for them to tell them the truth of their voices. Although the effect is not obvious, there is no big contradiction. The reason why she chose after being persuaded was that when her parents quarreled, she had intervened, and their parents would quarrel even more fiercely, and sometimes they didn't even know the reason for the quarrel. Persuading them to take part in the war is an arduous task.

Expert:

This is the general attitude and behavior of parents towards their children, especially the increase of one-child families. Nowadays, when parents beat their children to either side, it will lead to mutual isolation, and it is difficult to intervene and persuade parents to settle accounts and coordinate with them.

Compared with other methods, this is an ideal method.

. Because this will not cause parents to fight for face, nor will they participate in children's complications. But to grasp a principle, we should not let their abuse and violence happen outside common sense, but we should not absolutely stand by when our parents fight.

This way of post coordination also has certain advantages. For example, after a few days, the children can apologize to the other parents for their silent quarrel because of the "Cold War", so that the parents can not understand each other, and the children can help analyze and persuade the parents to achieve reconciliation as soon as possible.

Expert tips

1, most of them are small frictions with their wives, which is normal. Children don't have to worry too much. Because the elderly are inconvenient to move, have poor memory and poor communication skills, and more importantly, most elderly people don't spend much time with their wives in their affluent lives, so naturally there will be more friction.

2. It is best for children to directly participate in parents' quarrels. As long as it doesn't involve principles, small frictions can be solved quickly, and the participation of children will heat up the small frictions of the elderly. In addition, some elderly people will begin to pay attention to it, because they will even go to war when facing their children. Sometimes, parents think it is a wise reason afterwards.

What more children should not do is to stand on the side of at least one "helping" parent, so that another old man will not feel isolated from his children, but will feel lonely and jealous.