How should parents respond to their children's requests?

While watching "Mom is Superman", a plot impressed me deeply:

Ma Yashu's daughter Mia was criticized for having a bad temper, and she would just sit around and behave badly. Ma Yashu couldn't handle it at all.

Watching Ma Yashu raising a baby is really full of helplessness. When faced with the child rejecting her request, from saying "no" to "giving in and being satisfied", I finally understand how Mia's willfulness and stubbornness were developed. .

When her daughter told her "no", she tried to educate and persuade her, but she could not persist for two minutes before she began to compromise with her daughter.

When the children wanted to eat ice cream, Ma Yashu disagreed. Mia lay directly on the ground and started crying. Ma Yashu reluctantly agreed to take the children to the supermarket.

Miya's need was not approved by her mother, so she fell to the ground crying.

In the vegetable market, the children had just finished eating cake and asked for bread. Ma Yashu refused at first, but after the children cried a few times, she gave in.

At night, Ma Yashu told Mia to go to bed, but Mia insisted on taking Peppa Pig and even beat her mother. Ma Yashu wanted to make Mia realize her mistake by making her stand. But she broke down and cried. Ma Yashu didn't insist anymore and took the baby back to the house distressedly.

Okay, everyone’s children will be uncooperative sometimes, but what attitude should we have when facing uncooperative children? Are you compromising like Ma Yashu? Or fight against the child to the end? Or is there a more suitable way? Children's lack of cooperation is not the beginning of confrontation and compromise

In the process of raising children, it is normal to encounter situations where children say "no", "no", "I don't" to themselves. In fact, parents The most likely trigger for getting angry is when you want him to do something, but he takes a resistant or indifferent attitude and says "no" to you.

Many parents feel that they clearly ask you to do the right thing, but how can you not listen? They get angry all of a sudden and raise their voice a few degrees unconsciously. If the child still doesn’t listen, hum, Then just press hard, with one thought in mind - "I don't believe you are a little brat and I can't handle you", and the critical scolding started!

Okay, a child may become obedient, but is that obedience genuine? Of course not. Or maybe he becomes emotionally out of control and you compromise, just like Ma Yashu did. Then the effect of education, scolding and blaming becomes negative. The effect of gentle persistence may not be so perfect

Take the case of a child asking for a drink. For example, a child asks his mother for money to buy a drink, but the mother thinks the drink is unhealthy and does not agree to buy it. But the child didn't listen, he just wanted it. So, my mother began to reason, saying that the drink had no nutrition and was not good for the body at all. But the child couldn't listen and kept making noises. The mother can say to the child calmly and without emotion: "Mom knows you really want to drink this drink, but this drink is unhygienic and mom can't buy it for you."

In short, parents use mild Reject the child with a tone of voice, telling the child that he can’t buy it, he can’t buy it. No matter how you ask, my principle is one: don’t buy it!

Of course, this method is better than the first method. Your persistence allows him to clearly know where your bottom line is, and it also has a certain educational effect. However, sometimes when faced with your child's nagging demands, your "gentle persistence" approach is to turn into dogmatic preaching and reason with him, why can't you do this... Such preaching may require more time. For a long time, and it is very likely that as the child grows older, this method will not allow him to accept it from his heart. The best way is to guide children to cooperate

In fact, if your children make unreasonable requests to you or say no to your reasonable requests, you can try to use a "cooperative" approach to solve the problem.

Let’s give a simple example of how to adopt a collaborative approach. For example, when it’s time to eat, but your child asks for snacks, your answer at this time is “Okay, of course you can eat it, but can we eat it after dinner?” Isn’t this better than you blurting out “Are you kidding me?” , you are eating snacks after eating? You are not allowed to eat now, we will eat after eating.

"Such an answer makes it easier for children to accept it? Although the content and meaning of the expression are the same, the change in the way of expression makes the child feel much more comfortable.

For example, on a sunny day, the child is yelling If you want to wear rain boots to school, you can say yes first. Of course you can wear them, but you will have to bear the consequences of the classmates laughing at you. You don't have to tell him that the classmates will laugh at you if you wear them like this, but you have to do it. This possibility tells him that the choice of whether to wear it or not is ultimately given to him.