The influence of family background on personal values

The influence of family background on personal values

The influence of family background on personal values, family background has a particularly important influence on each of us, so do you know what the influence of family background is on personal values? Let's take a look at the influence of family background on personal values with me.

The influence of family background on personal values 1 The influence of family background on people mainly includes five aspects: personality, temper, values, habits and hobbies.

When we are born, we are a blank sheet of paper. After we enter a family, our parents will write and draw on this piece of white paper. When we are not educated by books and other things, we will accept whatever our parents give us.

1, personality.

I was bullied by other children when I was a child. My parents said they would fight back, and then I got up the courage to fight back. The other person cried very sadly, and my parents laughed. From then on, I learned not to suffer indignities, but to fight back bravely. I'm getting older and older. I have fought with my peers dozens of times and learned how to knock each other to the ground quickly.

2, temper.

My father has a bad temper, and he will fly into a rage at the slightest thing, so my parents often quarrel and I am also affected. My mother asked me to buy soy sauce, but I didn't make it. After quarreling with me, I flew into a rage and shouted that I wouldn't eat.

3. Values.

My parents taught me not to mind my own business since I was a child, and my brother and I were deeply influenced. We don't want to worry about things that have nothing to do with us. My uncle's family quarreled and fought with people in the same village. My brother and I hid at home and didn't come out to watch or help.

4. habit.

Our family is poor, and our parents are very frugal, and they are reluctant to throw anything away. I have also formed this habit, and the textbooks of primary school, junior high school and senior high school have never been thrown away until now.

5. hobbies.

Our parents like watching plays. After a family finishes farm work, the most important thing is to watch TV plays, and then my mother watches and chats. My brother and I are the same at present, and we both like watching plays and movies. If we watch them with other people, we will keep talking.

The above five points are about personal influence's family background. We should not only know what the influence is, but also treat it correctly. Let me tell a story.

The influence of parents is not so important, what matters is our view of things.

Once upon a time, there were two children. My mother is a gambler, playing mahjong and cards all day long, regardless of the children, and sometimes stealing things to get gambling money. My father is an alcoholic. He only drinks and hangs out with some friends.

When the children grow up, the fate of the two people will be completely different. One was jailed for stealing and taking drugs. A reporter saw the different fates of the two children and went to interview him. He said: "Who told me to have such a family, who told me to have such parents!" " The other child is a department manager of a large enterprise, with a successful career and a happy family. When the reporter interviewed him, he also said the same thing: "Who told me to have such a family, who told me to have such parents!"

Although it is the same sentence, their understanding is different. The first man said something desperate. He was extremely disappointed with his parents and family, and felt that they had caused his life. This clearly shows how much harm his family has done to him.

The second man said something positive. Although disappointed with his parents and family, he didn't give up. He wants to change this unfavorable growth environment and his life. So he was aggressive, studied hard, finally admitted to the university, and entered a big company after graduation.

It can be seen that the influence of parents is not so important, but what matters is our view of things. The influence of parents on us is subconscious, and many wrong ideas can be corrected through education. If something goes wrong in our life, don't blame our parents. Their knowledge is limited and they can't educate us too much. What we have to do is to keep a positive attitude, change our attitude towards things and try to change ourselves.

The influence of family background on personal values is 2 0 1, and the influence of family background on marriage.

In an interview program, Yi Lijing asked Chen Kun, "What's your attitude towards love?" Chen Kun said, "I don't need long-term love. My parents' divorce hit me hard. "

I think love is an abstract word. I know the feeling of love, but I don't know what love is. Because I am an actor, I will become a public topic.

If, like many people, it seems that everyone else is married, I should get married. I think this is right. This is a kind of expectation. But my life is my own. I don't need to accept everyone's kindness and attention. Maybe you have paid attention to my concern, too. We have just achieved our goal. But maybe I don't care what you care about, and I don't need to force myself.

Chen Kun's parents divorced when he was seven years old, and he has been living with his grandmother, which had a great influence on his childhood.

He said frankly: My parents divorced when I was 7 years old, so I lived with my brother and grandmother, and my mother remarried later. I didn't return to my mother until I went to middle school. Five people, including my stepfather and my half-brother, were crowded into a 13 suite. Because of poverty and the background of single-parent family, I am often laughed at and bullied. When I was a child, I wanted to eat my father's cooking most, but I only ate it once.

In his eyes, his father is extremely incompetent, and this kind of injury has been stationed in his heart for a long time.

I like Chen Kun's unpretentious, he is a very transparent and honest person. Each of us lives in a different realm, our understanding may be different, and our view of love will be different, so it is the best choice to be yourself and live with your heart.

02. Family background affects the formation of personality.

In a variety show, Olivia said frankly: I am very sensitive because of a single-parent family.

She said, "I haven't seen them together much since I can remember. I have long been used to their separation, so I learned to read and read. I have nothing to do with my parents, and they never ask me if I am hardworking or tired. My independence was forced out because no one cared about me. "

"I am very sensitive, this is caused by single-parent families. When I was a child, I didn't think their separation had any effect on me. But as I grew up, I gradually found that the impact was particularly great. This kind of trauma has been with me all my life. "

A child with too many childhood injuries has an incomplete growth path. There must be something left over from his childhood in his character, and that kind of trauma will control his future.

We all grow up, and we all get old. I sincerely wish every family and every pair of parents can create a warm and friendly family atmosphere for their children and make the family have love.

Stars are still like this, not to mention us ordinary people?

There was a popular saying in Weibo before:

"Children who have always felt that the family atmosphere is good are very lucky. He has seen what good feelings are, has a keen love for health, and is easy to run in a good direction. "

Because I know to run in the right direction, I always live happily, always make different friends and get more warmth and love from different people. What about children who grow up in a make-do, cold war and quarreling relationship?

"I don't know what is good. It takes a lot of effort to kick those bad ones away. I have been hitting the wall for many years before I know which way is right. "

They are not lucky enough to enjoy more protection and care, but they are suffering from indifferent violence that they should not bear. As a result, he became independent and insecure, carefree on the surface and riddled with holes in his heart.

03. The influence of family background on outlook on life is totally two extremes.

Psychologist Freeman believes that it is impossible for people to have emotional needs from family experiences. In other words, without a perfect family background, its influence is not absolute. We are adults, and our personal growth and self-shaping depend more on ourselves.

The purpose of the book is not to blame your parents, but to admit your past, that your parents have their shortcomings and limitations, and that you deserve to be loved, affirmed and accepted.

Understand the pain of the past, so that the harm you bring from the family you came from will gradually decrease, and focus all your attention on yourself or the family you later formed, so as to love yourself better and prevent the past harm from being copied and continued and affecting your life.

A kind of love will bring peace and sufficiency, and you can boldly do what you want under the protection of your parents. One will bring resentment and helplessness, and feel that everything is in vain. I missed something very important between people and lacked the ability to love and express love.

Huang's On the Road to Life mentioned that family therapist Bo Wen was asked what kind of parents were good before his death, and he answered three words: interest without anxiety is concern without anxiety.

If we all pay more attention to children, then the world may be different. Parents have a lot of love in their hearts, which will be reflected in their children.

A good parent must first face and deal with his anxiety. When this parent can grow more, he can help other children grow better.

Please remember that you are not responsible for what happened in family of origin in the past. However, from today on, you are responsible for every choice you make. Remember, you are your child's family of origin now.

The greatest tragedy in life is that you can be surrounded by people, but your heart is lonely.

The biggest tragedy in life is that you can be so close to the person who should love you and the person who should love you, but your hearts are far apart.

The influence of family background on personal values. Let's first look at what family background affects a person.

First of all, let's understand the concept of family background. Family of origin refers to a family composed of minor children and parents. The intimate relationship of everyone in this family, parents' educational concepts and living habits have a subtle influence on a person's life.

It can be seen that family background affects a person's living habits, eating habits, the formation of personality, the formation of values, and the attitude towards marriage.

I remember when I was in college, there was a boy in our class who usually got very good grades and was very handsome. At that time, a beautiful girl in the class took the initiative to pursue him, and he flinched. People don't understand why. Because that girl is the object of his secret love. Later, I learned from my classmates in his dormitory that the boy came from a particularly poor rural area and his family conditions were particularly poor. He felt that beautiful girls could not fall in love with him and felt extremely inferior.

When I was young, I was puzzled at that time, and I thought it was ridiculous that people still have this idea. I didn't finally understand until I heard the concept of being born in a family.

02, will the influence of the family you came from get rid of?

I remember what Huang Lei used to say in The Life I yearn for. He said that there is one thing in life that people can't choose, and that is who your parents are. So we can't choose what kind of family we live in, what kind of parents we meet, and we don't need to choose.

Keigo Higashino said, "Everyone wants to be born in a good family, but they can't decide their parents. What kind of cards are sent to you, you can only play as well as possible. " Since some things are inevitable, try your best to optimize it and change it.

We often see that people in single-parent families are not happy enough. Some people may resist marriage pessimistically from now on, while others are still full of longing, even summing up the failure of their parents' marriage, improving their ability to manage marriage and having a happy second-generation family.

Gao also said in A Wonderful Story that he and his father had been at odds until his father died. One day, when he was sweeping his father's grave, a ray of afterglow spilled down. Suddenly, when a young mother pushed a smiling baby into the picture, he was relieved and finally made up with his father.

The influence of family background will gradually change with the accumulation of one's life experience and the change of living environment.

Don't let being born in a family be an excuse for us not to struggle.

As the founder of individual psychology, Austrian alfred adler once put forward the view that it is not the past experience that determines us, but the meaning we give it.

In life, there are many things we can't do, we can't do anything, we can't do anything, or we try our best, but our level is limited and we may never reach our goal.

When we are helpless and at a loss, perhaps the painful memory of Native House can be used as a comfort for our healing and a means for us to reconcile with reality. Give yourself a reasonable excuse to escape because you are incompetent or helpless.

If we don't get into an ideal university, we can't complain that our family didn't invest enough in education and our parents didn't enroll themselves in cram schools. Reflect on yourself, are you sleepy, not diligent enough, and the review is still not perfect enough;

I didn't find a good job, and I wasn't worried that my family didn't have enough social status to help me find a good job. Reflect on yourself, is it that you go to the library too few times during school and don't participate enough in social practice?

My work is not smooth, I can't be a man, and I don't care about my parents, which leads to my failure to develop a good character. Reflect on yourself, whether you pay too much attention to yourself at work and whether others are lazy when working overtime.

Don't let being born in a family be the reason why we don't struggle and refuse to grow up. Because your happiness and happiness are in your own hands. You are not responsible for some things that happened in family of origin in the past. But from today on, you are responsible for every choice you make.

04. Apart from painful memories, Native House left us more beautiful things that we didn't notice.

Looking back on our past life, the reason why each of us can find our place in this society and keep fighting must be backed by the excellent qualities we learned from our parents. The formation of everyone's values and social outlook can not be separated from the family where we come from, where we live together day and night.

Family gifts are much bigger than we thought. What keeps a person from getting lost is our values. Those activities hidden in our daily behavior, our thumbs-up behavior, make people praise their deeds and create a bright spot of personal glory. Behind the bright starlight is the subtle influence of the family.

I remember that Dong Qing, the national goddess, once talked about the influence of Born into a Family on her, saying that she didn't understand her father as an adult and formed her own perfect values. As the only child in the family, my father is extremely strict with Dong Qing. She is not allowed to wear makeup and beautiful clothes. She had to work in a hotel during the summer vacation. Although she earns only one yuan a day, her father wants her to suffer.

Dad's educational philosophy has been deeply affecting Dong Qing. Even if he succeeds, he dare not relax. When doing things, he always works harder than others.

Dong Qing said that she later let go of her father's strictness, because when she grew up, she found that she and her father were the same people and both worked so hard. Rather than saying that Dong Qing and his father are the same person, a better explanation is that Dong Qing inherited his father's fighting spirit bit by bit from the family he came from.

05, give you a little advice.

1, correctly treat the theory of birth family.

The word "Family of Origin" is actually imported. Translated from the English word "family of origin", we in China have our own expression, which is called "family style". Therefore, we can rely on our own culture to find a perfect solution to the so-called lineage mystery.

Su Shi said in "San Tang Huai Ming" that "faithfulness will last forever, and poetry and calligraphy will last forever". For our children's education and family inheritance, what is important is not money, but the virtue of kindness, loyalty and forgiveness, and the consciousness of studying hard.

If wealth is gold, then a good "family style" is gold mine. Parents don't have to do anything deliberately. As long as they try to show their children, our children will certainly be the same.

Treat your own family with more love and gratitude.

As an adult, what we have to do is to be grateful. Thanks to the family and his parents who gave us life, which is enough for us to thank them for a lifetime. Parents really love us, and they will try their best to love us, but most of the time they don't, and because no one really told them how to love when they first became parents, maybe they used to be loveless children.

In addition, while thanking parents, we should also be responsible for our own happiness and happiness through study, practice and change, and then give happiness and happiness to parents, lovers and children.

Every adult who complains that he is tired of his parents, blames his lover and controls his children is deeply irresponsible. They shift the responsibility to others and let others meet their own needs of happiness, happiness, good mood and happiness.

3. Make efforts to change and create a better family environment for children.

Every parent's present home is our children's future family of origin, and building a harmonious home is the best gift for our children. In the cultivation of children, the spiritual wealth passed on to children is always more important than the material property left to children.