Marriage customs in Ju County, Rizhao

As the saying goes: men get married when they are older, and women get married when they are older. It does not matter whether a man marries a woman or a woman marries a man. When a man and a woman reach the age of starting a family, whether it is free love or successful introduction by a matchmaker, the process of getting married is basically the same. They all use this routine. That is:

(1) Blind date: After a man and a woman propose marriage through a marriage introducer, the matchmaker generally introduces the person to the person who is generally a good match. He introduces the family members and family economic status to the other party. If both parties feel that they can meet, they choose to meet. On certain occasions, both men and women invite relatives and friends to serve as advisers and observe each other. After the meeting, the intermediary (matchmaker) introduces the two parties. The gay man takes the initiative to distribute candies, cigarettes, tea, etc. to the female visitor, says a few polite words, walks back and forth a few steps, and then sits down to show off. The walking portrait, height, body frame, and posture should be steady, sitting and standing. Sometimes you can also introduce yourself to increase the atmosphere and express yourself. Most of the women deal with it passively, or say a few polite words, or just smile. Because this is the first time they meet each other on a blind date, most women are very cautious and generally do not express their opinions.

(2) Engagement: Commonly known as "fish on the shoulder", the fish on the shoulder is an engagement. After the blind date, both parties will investigate each other and meet a few more times if necessary. After they are satisfied, the matchmaker will help them An engagement is an engagement. Choose a good day according to the almanac. Generally, when getting engaged, the man holds a banquet and invites his relatives, friends and the woman's personnel to his home to celebrate the success of the engagement. The specific process: The man steams 9 large steamed buns, which means that he will have food for a long time. Steam a pair of large fish with flour, which means there will be more than enough every year. When a man buys a quilt for a woman, it means that it will last a lifetime, and the mattress must be edged with blue cloth. When they get married, they will be taken back to the groom's house. Buy a dress, scarf, belt, etc. for the woman. Buy women's cosmetics, cigarettes, and candies, wrap these items in big red bags, and wrap them into six or eight big red bags. Put any amount of wedding money in the bags. The man's relatives and friends usually bring congratulatory money with them when they go there, no matter how much they are. It depends on your financial resources and relationships with relatives and friends. After the meal, the man gives the woman money to meet. In the past, he gave the woman 99 yuan to meet, which means that they will love each other for a long time. Now I give you 10,01 yuan, which means you can choose a good son and wife one in a million. After the woman brought home the clothes given by the man, she wrapped them in red envelopes and bought her son-in-law a set of clothes, a pair of shoes, a belt, and a hat. She returned two big steamed buns, which means good things come in pairs, and a big fish, which means. Every family has more than enough, and every year has more than enough. There is also a deposit of money in the red envelope, usually tens of yuan.

(3) The auspicious day: after a period of time has passed after the engagement, and with the consent of both parties, it is an auspicious day for the marriage. Now go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to register and receive your marriage registration certificate. To ask for a date, the man needs the woman’s birth date, month and day of that year. Then he takes the boy’s date of birth and asks a professional who can check auspicious dates to determine the wedding date and the person’s zodiac sign. Sending off relatives, welcoming relatives, hosting weddings, etc. When the time comes, the man buys a knife of meat, about 20 kilograms, a pair of large fresh fish, snacks, candies, wine and other food. The son-in-law goes to his parents-in-law's house in person to ask for a living. Generally, you can get married once. If the woman and the man are dissatisfied, it will take several gifts to get married.

(4) Send the date: After the man wants to find out the woman’s birth date, he will ask a fortune teller to find out the auspicious day for marriage. The fortune teller wrote a document based on the date of birth of the man and the woman, and wrote, "Happy date: Choose a happy day this year, a certain day, a certain month, it's time to get married, no need to see off guests, a certain zodiac sign, and the rest of the zodiac sign" Not taboo. If the bed is placed in the wedding room near the east, it will be auspicious for the bed to be placed at a certain time. The newlyweds will get out of the sedan and face east, or they will be happy in some way.

It is good luck to face a certain direction on the day of enthronement. Use a charcoal fire basin to enlarge the area around the door. The marriage will be auspicious. This article is written in two pieces, and the man keeps one. The son-in-law gives it to the woman in person, which is called a birthday gift. The man also buys gifts, which are lighter than those on birthdays. He buys a coat-faced cloth for his wife and uses coat-faced cloth. The checked daily documents are wrapped in cloth and can usually be delivered once. Sometimes the woman does not accept it and has to be delivered twice.

(5) Send a big meal: After choosing an auspicious day for the wedding, usually a few days before the wedding, the man’s relatives and friends come to congratulate the man on the wedding. This is called sending a big meal, which includes wine, cigarettes, and meat. , money, fans, set up a banquet, and the atmosphere is warm, showing the best expression of popularity and harmonious relationship between relatives. The more people, the better. When the banquet is over, the host will give each arriving relative and friend a return gift, snacks and other items. Vermicelli used as gifts is also called vermicelli, which means long-term friendship and continuous family ties. Giving wedding money is usually wrapped in red paper, which expresses the meaning of great happiness.

(6) Filling the box: After choosing an auspicious day for the wedding, it is the same as the man. The man calls it gift-giving, and the woman calls it box-filling. Generally, a few days before the wedding, the woman’s relatives and friends go to the woman’s house to send snacks. The head, some daily necessities, and money are also given to buy some items for the woman's wedding. When the party is over, the woman also gives some items to her relatives and friends.

(7) Above: The day before a man and a woman get married, which is also called urging marriage, they send some supplies, cosmetics and other supplies, and check to see if there is anything that has not been purchased, and if there are any dissatisfactions, etc. The man sends someone to the woman's house, and carries a large box, which is on multiple floors of the garden. There are also people who use silkworms, and they send a rooster and a hen. The woman cannot kill these chickens and eat them, so she asks the person who urges her to bring them. Go back to the groom's house, wait until they get married, sell the chickens, and buy bamboo baskets and winnowing seeds. The top one is the most particular. A pair of chickens means good luck and good fortune in pairs. A pair of fish means there will be plenty every year, while wine and vermicelli means vermicelli means frequent visits. A knife of meat weighs about 20 kilograms. Generally, there are six-color gifts but also eight-color gifts. There is a small flower box on top containing women's cosmetics and some auspicious items. The small flower box contains: a pair of combs, a pair of mirrors, two pairs of creams, 2 boxes of rouge, face powder, and two green onions. It is wise to have a child. A pair of needles draw a red thread. Two mugworts represent love for a child. Two small salted fishes in the sea represent a wife who can be relied on. A bag of rice and a bag of noodles means that there will be food after marriage. A bag of brown sugar means that the wife will be dependable. Life is sweet, and a packet of salt means that a family has strict laws. A pair of women's nets, hairpins, rings, earrings, necklaces, headscarves, and a pair of red legs. Different places pay attention to the items on it. The male protagonist gives him a quilt for the bride to sit on on the day of her wedding. The male protagonist gives her a set of clothes, usually red and green, which the bride wears on the day of her wedding. The husband's family can't change clothes until they return to their parents' house three days later. This link above is the last time for the woman to ask the man questions. As long as she doesn’t ask the question when she comes to the man, she will be laughed at if she mentions it again after she gets married. It will be bad for herself. If the happy event goes smoothly, she can no longer embarrass the man. The woman will get a reward for urging the man to get married. According to this amount, the man will give the woman the amount of money to send as rewards to her relatives.

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