Humorous quotations.

The ratio of male to female is three to one, that is, a couple and a homosexual. Take a look at those humorous quotations!

Humorous quotations (1) 1. I only had a nosebleed once, but I mistakenly used sanitary napkins as masks!

Compared with conquering ourselves, all victories are insignificant.

If you do this again in the future, don't blame me for being inhuman!

4. Men who come home early tell stories to their wives; Men who come home late make up stories for their wives.

5. Is it still painful to see a dime? Throw it directly to the begging buddy next to him and make him depressed …

6. Are you a dung ball that has been rolled by a small retarded dog, a cockroach that has been trampled on, and a cockroach that has been adopted by the mentally retarded master of Shaolin Temple, who is known as the pear flower crushing the begonia?

7. The real way to measure our wealth is to see how much we are worth when we have no money.

8. Buddha said: I also use Fuyanjie!

9. Men, the upper body is self-cultivation, and the lower body is essence; Women, the upper body is the bait, and the lower body is the trap.

10. Men fool women and call it flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

1 1. No book in the world can bring you good luck, but they can make you become yourself quietly.

12. I have spread my homework on the balcony during the summer vacation. Do it yourself during a typhoon.

13. The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and there's still so much nonsense."

14. I can cook all kinds of instant noodles. Do you want to consider marrying me?

15. Life is like: the deaf hear the dumb say that the blind see ghosts.

16. If happiness is not on the road, it must be at the end of the road.

17. When smart people are at their wits' end, the method that stupid people come up with must be the most useful!

18. When I faced the examination paper, I found that I was suffering from white school disease.

Humorous quotations (2) 1. God closed a door for you and went to bed.

It is not difficult to be a good person for one day, but a rich person for a lifetime.

3. Successful people complain about social injustice, while unsuccessful people complain that society is unfair to them.

4. A high number means that three points are destiny takes a hand, seven points depend on hard work, and there is really nothing I can do about the remaining 90 points.

When love comes to an end, the weak cry to find the next goal efficiently, while the smart one is ready for the next one.

6. Men get married because they are tired, and women get married because they are curious; They will all be disappointed in the end.

If a man insists on treating her as a completely normal person, how can a woman expect happiness from him?

8. Many diaosi like to try to defeat local tyrants with such illusory things as spiritual thoughts, because bragging forces them not to pay taxes.

9. I have been hiding from the rain all my life. Will the rain be sad? I've been in class for half my life, and I'm pregnant without seeing the class!

10. When I first went to college, I was struggling to marry a good family and support myself in my career. Or marry a beautiful and virtuous family, Jasper, and live a comfortable life. Now I find that I really thought too much at that time.

Love always begins with self-deception and ends with deception.

12. When I was young, I always lacked a correct understanding of myself. Sometimes I feel superior and broad-minded, and sometimes I feel useless and ordinary and incompetent. After growing up, I experienced a lot, and gradually got to know myself, only to find myself useless and ordinary and incompetent.

13. Without the enrichment of wallet, there is no inner peace. Many people put the cart before the horse.

14. mistakenly regard indulgence as chic, decadence as freedom, and evading responsibility as pursuing self-worth. Just lazy, afraid of suffering. There are so many good reasons.

15. some people have worked hard all their lives, that is, they have squeezed into the third-rate society from the fourth-rate society.

16. I have worked hard for so many years, but anyone with a little talent should show some signs of success.

17. I pursued my dream, and others said I was naive and ridiculous, but I persisted. Finally, I found myself really naive and ridiculous.

18. Women's life in the world is much better than men's. They have too many taboos.

Humorous quotations (3) 1. I would never be stupid enough to expose the famous brand I bought online because I can't afford it.

Praise will never disarm women, but it can disarm men. This is the gender difference.

3. "Even if the whole world opposes it, I will stick to my dream." "Who are you and who can win the world's opposition?"

You tried your best, maybe you are not as good as others.

Handsome appearance and a lot of money are passes for social activities in the upper class.

6. You are a good girl, and you travel alone by reading and watching movies until that rainbow-like person appears in your life. Read books you haven't seen, watch movies you haven't seen, and go to destinations you haven't been to. Then you will be surprised to find that he did this with you just to have sex with you.

7. Don't tell me how much the prince loves Cinderella. Only after a night will he forget what he looks like. It depends on the glass shoes.

8. Sometimes, people are cold to you, which may not be your problem. Maybe he just doesn't like ugly people.

9. I think God overestimated his ability when he created human beings.

10. Time is a butcher knife. It's for those who look good. For ugly people, time can't take them …

1 1. What's the loneliness? Didn't nobody love you? What is loneliness? Isn't it idle? Without despair, isn't it poverty?

12. Sometimes you don't know what despair is without hard work.

13. In this age of handsome guys and beautiful women, what does it mean that others evaluate you as reliable and lovely? You know that.

14. There is nothing wrong with this world. You are ugly and have no money.

15. You are treated as a princess by your parents, a princess by a man and a beggar by yourself.

16. Make up your mind to change from tomorrow every night, live and work hard, and turn over under the covers at noon the next day: Fuck, another day.