Humorous and grounded copy

1. What's wrong with being ugly? As long as I don't look in the mirror, it's not me who is disgusting.

2. Downstairs in the community, I scribbled on a Geely car with a marker, and the owner bumped into me. Owner: "What do you draw?" Me: "Nothing, just good luck."

3. "Doctor, you see I was beaten like this by my husband. What's the point of living? " "Don't worry, skin injury, deal with it. Didn't your husband come? Don't come and watch you get beaten like this? " "He is in the emergency room."

4. I often see eating goods! Tell me about my son! When my son was eating, I repeatedly said, Son, look up and catch your breath!

5. Who said, "Never forget, there will be repercussions"? The person you like never talks to me and wants to get rich overnight, which has never come true!

When my parents were young, they owed a lot of money to others and always told them, "We will pay you back twice in the future." Later, they gave birth to me and named me Shuang.

7. I used to think that because playboy is handsome, I can't find a handsome husband; Now that I am mature, I feel that I can't find the ugly ones, because the ugly ones are not only gaudy, but also ugly!

8. Wear tight clothes, go home thin and go out fat. The accent hasn't changed, and the meat is piled up. Children don't know each other when they meet Smile and ask Xiao Pang, who are you?

9. When I went to the hospital for a physical examination, the doctor took my report and said, "It's a good thing you came early ..." When I was shocked into a cold sweat, the doctor said unhurriedly, "If it's later, I'll get off work."

10. If you think the person you like likes you, it only shows that you have a rich imagination.

1 1. It used to be called husband and wife, but now it is called mobile phone. A mobile phone in hand, forever, the mobile phone is not in hand, no soul. In fact, the ancients knew it for a long time, and they specially set up an idiom: Now is now or never!

12. My wife asked me: If a female colleague seduces you, will you listen? I smiled and shook my head, ha ha, who do you take me for? Am I the kind of person who will tell you what you really think?

13. I'll look good if I fall, and give my life to the ugly one. I'll show you what a thousand cups are not drunk.

14. A boy made an appointment with his favorite girl to go up the mountain to watch the night scene. There were thousands of lights and it was beautiful! At this time, a cool breeze blew! The man looked down and asked, are you cold? Girls think he is so considerate! Then answer: not cold! Thank you, so the boy took off the girl's coat and put it on himself. He said, I'm so cold!

15. You can see your girlfriend's personality through the palm print. If her palm prints often appear on your face, it means that she has a bad temper.

16. If you like a handsome guy, please don't take immediate measures. You should get to know him first. Soon, you will find that his friends are more handsome.

17. I did a speechless thing today. I accidentally fell asleep at the company meeting. When I woke up, I saw the workshop director clapping for me. My colleague next to me told me that the director applauded to make everyone quiet. ...

18. Seeing a resume, a college student wrote beautifully in the column of "What awards have you won": during the school period, he won the Master Kong "One more bottle" award many times.

19. Do you have any friends who know about sports cars? Please recommend a million-dollar sports car with good performance, fast start, high horsepower, high comfort, fashion and beauty. I will use it as a mobile phone wallpaper.

When you encounter misfortune, remember to smile at yourself in the mirror, so that you will find that this misfortune is nothing compared with your strength.

2 1. In my uncle's shop, a group of pupils are shopping around. An older boy is standing outside, his eyes are rolling and his mouth is drooling. He walked up to a little girl and said, Er Ya, have you bought all the money? The little girl said: no, you can't finish it if you buy it! The little boy said bravely, you are so stupid. If you don't finish buying it, your parents will know that you still have money, and they won't give you pocket money tomorrow. Come on, buy it and I'll help you eat it. ...

22. My mother likes playing mahjong, but then I was born. My mother resolutely gave up mahjong for me and my family because she thought it was more interesting to hit me.

23. I suddenly had a stomachache after eating today. My classmates invited me to go shopping together. I said, "No, I feel a little sick." Classmate: "Really? I have long thought you are disgusting! "

One day, Peggy Piggy cried and said to her mother, "The children say I look like a hair dryer." Mother pig said sadly, "Be good, stay away from my mother next time, and don't blow my hair up."

25. My friend cried to me that she was often lovelorn because she was too poor. I immediately despaired of this society: poor, why can he have a girlfriend?

26. I went to a fortune teller yesterday, and the master said I could live to 100, or even longer. After all, I ride a battery car home, and I am very happy. No matter what the traffic lights are, life is long and I am so capricious.

27. I left my hometown that year, and people in the village never drank a well water again.