My mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law as her daughter, but now her daughter-in-law is ungrateful and drives her out of the house!

It is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a difficult interpersonal relationship to learn. Many post-90s people have to move out after marriage in order not to be angry with their mother-in-law. Recently, a mother-in-law in Shenzhen quarreled with her post-90 s daughter-in-law, who kicked her out of the house. My mother-in-law said that she treated her daughter-in-law as her own daughter, but she didn't expect her daughter-in-law to treat herself like this. The daughter-in-law is even more helpless. In fact, my mother-in-law treats herself a lot and doesn't mean to drive her away. It's just that she is too depressed and it is very painful to be with her mother-in-law. This is also a helpless move.

This makes people feel very strange. Since the mother-in-law has always been very kind to her daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law also admits that her mother-in-law regards herself as her own daughter. So what makes the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law incompatible, and how does Mr. Che, as a son and husband, balance the emotional imbalance between his wife and mother? Is he silent?

1. One sentence caused contradiction, and the daughter-in-law made excessive behavior.

The daughter-in-law said helplessly that she had been engaged for five years, and the next year she began to quarrel with her mother-in-law because of trivial matters at home. In the words of her daughter-in-law, she points the root of everything at her mother-in-law, and it is difficult for her mother-in-law to say anything. She said that the daughter-in-law often loses control when she is in trouble, and a little thing often loses control. Not long ago, my daughter-in-law kicked her for a sentence. So what kind of sentence can make the daughter-in-law take such an excessive behavior?

Last time I took a shower, the bowl on the table crackled. I thought it was my daughter-in-law, so I called her name inside, but her daughter-in-law ignored it and didn't respond. Later, when she came out, she asked her daughter-in-law loudly why she didn't respond. She thought there was a thief at home, so she took a shower in a hurry and came out. As a result, the daughter-in-law was unhappy, quarreled with her, kicked her and ran out of the door.

In the eyes of the daughter-in-law, her mother-in-law has already become a thorn in her side and a thorn in her flesh. Even if there is no quarrel, she is so disgusted with her mother-in-law in front of her, no matter how big or small. Although the daughter-in-law has a bad temper, after all, she is the daughter-in-law of her son and a family, so her mother-in-law is patient everywhere. However, what pains her mother-in-law most is not her daughter-in-law's violence, but her extreme. Because before, or because of her words, let the daughter-in-law have a reaction, suddenly let the mother-in-law feel uneasy. What the hell is going on? Can a daughter-in-law do this in one sentence?

In other words, the daughter-in-law has made extreme behavior.

Once, because the toilet was blocked, I casually asked my daughter-in-law if she threw something into the toilet and it was blocked. Originally, it was a very small thing, but my daughter-in-law was very angry after listening to it and said, why don't you ask others what I am doing? How do you know I threw it? Mother-in-law has no common sense with her daughter-in-law, but she said helplessly, how can you lose your temper like this, girl?

The daughter-in-law slammed the door angrily and ran out. Later, she came back in the evening, but she was still very angry. The more she thought about it, the more angry she became. She climbed up the window sill of her home alone and felt depressed. Moreover, the window sill is three stories high from the ground and there is no protective facility. This scared the mother-in-law and called her son in fear. When the son came back, he took his daughter-in-law down and held him in his mother's arms. At this time, the daughter-in-law cried in her mother-in-law's arms, sobbing: Mom, I'm sorry, you can still treat me as your daughter as before. Mother-in-law is also in tears and distressed to appease her daughter-in-law.

On the one hand, my mother, on the other hand, Mr. Che, who is caught in the middle, is also in a dilemma. Whenever their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have conflicts, he always tries his best to mediate, hoping that their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can live in harmony. However, to his surprise, his wife said that her relationship with her mother-in-law was deteriorating, which was often caused by her husband. It is precisely because of her husband's actions that the already tense relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has worsened. What is this? Will the husband still sow discord in the middle?

3. Husband's behavior worsens the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Once, Mrs. Huang quarreled with her husband for several hundred dollars. Finally, the wife took out hundreds of dollars and threw them in her husband's face. The husband suddenly flew into a rage and said the word divorce in a rage. After returning home, my mother asked with concern when she saw that she was unhappy. So the son told his mother truthfully, and the mother also talked about his wife's fault. At this time, the wife just heard it, felt wronged, and ran to the roof in a rage. As a result, the whole village knew that her wife had been bullied a lot at home.

Although my wife was later coaxed down by her husband, she was still full of grievances and choked several times in the face of this incident: because whenever she said something about her mother-in-law, her husband would tell her exactly what she said, making her mother-in-law feel willful and unreasonable. The husband just added fuel to the fire, but he didn't know how to turn off the fire. Especially between husband and wife, once the husband is referred, her mother-in-law will stand by her husband and give her advice, which also makes her more worried about the deterioration of her relationship with her mother-in-law.

The husband didn't think of his kindness, but became a catalyst for the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. But even so, why is the wife's goal her mother-in-law rather than her husband?

Four. Once my mother-in-law was called "cub", which made me find a happy home.

In fact, at the beginning of entering this family, the daughter-in-law did not exclude her mother-in-law, but felt very happy. My husband and I hit it off very well and never quarrel. I used to feel inferior because my family was poor, and I felt that I was not worthy of my husband. Because in my own family, I have four sisters, all of whom are the eldest. I have to bear everything at home, and my parents are not so good to me. After graduating from junior high school, I went to learn hair, and all the money I earned was given to the couple to support three sisters. But when she arrives at her husband's house, she will call herself "petty bourgeoisie" or something, and she will feel very kind and happy.

It is because of a kind name that my daughter-in-law feels that her mother-in-law regards herself as her own daughter, which makes her moved. However, the good times did not last long, and the daughter-in-law soon discovered that it was not an easy thing to get along with her mother-in-law. Whenever I mention these things, Ms. Huang is extremely sad and feels an unbearable situation from her initial happiness. There has long been resentment between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Why is this? The daughter-in-law thinks that all this is because her mother-in-law's behavior is too much.

5. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are too close.

Because my daughter-in-law is a barber, she gets off work very late every day and gets up very late in the morning. But my mother-in-law started cleaning very early and mopped the floor in their room at 6: 00 in the morning, which made my daughter-in-law unable to sleep well. Especially when the daughter-in-law is in confinement, it is really unacceptable for her mother-in-law to sleep directly among them because it is convenient to take care of her daughter-in-law. Several times, when my husband and mother-in-law opened a shop together, because the shop was 10 square meters, sometimes it was too late, and their mother and son slept together in a bed. Although they say they have done nothing too much, they are always strange in the eyes of their daughter-in-law.

And every time I go home, my husband always holds her mother-in-law, and the intimate behavior between her mother-in-law and her husband also makes my daughter-in-law feel sore throat. But in the eyes of husband and mother-in-law, their behavior is completely normal. For decades, their mother and son have been so close, knowing everything and saying everything. This is just a normal way of conveying and expressing feelings between their mother and son, but the daughter-in-law can't understand it, and she doesn't agree and accept it, and she also begins to run on her mother-in-law slowly.

6. Why does the daughter-in-law have extreme behavior?

Whenever she quarrels with her husband, sometimes he won't say words of comfort and understanding, and sometimes he will use cold violence. For several days, they didn't say a word, leaving themselves isolated by their families, and there was no way to relax completely in this family. What is even more exasperating is that my husband also said that as long as he is good to his mother-in-law, he is good to himself. This made his wife very wronged and felt that it was not good for her mother-in-law in her husband's eyes. And I can't accept the happiness of myself and my husband, even if I have to get involved with my mother-in-law, I can't accept the emotional exchange between my mother-in-law and her husband. Anxious daughter-in-law can only express her resistance with extreme behavior, but her mother-in-law never knows it, and blindly thinks it is her unreasonable willfulness.

In this way, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law intensified. The last quarrel, the daughter-in-law kicked her mother-in-law out of the house. The husband caught between them is anxious and helpless, and he doesn't know what to do, and the daughter-in-law doesn't know how to go in the future.

Conclusion: Emotional analysis.

1. Why did my mother-in-law become a thorn in my daughter-in-law's side?

Originally, there was no problem between their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but slowly, because of the contradictions caused by small details in life, the living habits of their mother-in-law could not be integrated with their daughter-in-law. There are two main problems:

First, the mother-in-law speaks loudly.

Although this is a habit she has developed for many years, her daughter-in-law always feels that her mother-in-law is a bit imposing.

Second, mother-in-law interferes with daughter-in-law's life.

Originally, she never quarreled with her husband, because her daughter-in-law had a very happy life after leaving the original ecological family. This kind of life is too ideal and too happy. But after marriage, the most ideal living conditions were broken because of the intervention of her mother-in-law. In fact, the daughter-in-law doesn't hate her mother-in-law's behavior, but interrupts her happiest life.

2. How does the daughter-in-law change this situation?

In fact, her daughter-in-law doesn't understand that she married this family when she got married, so she has to learn how to integrate into this family and how to change herself. However, the daughter-in-law is particularly sensitive and self-centered, and some of her mother-in-law's original living habits can't be understood and accepted, but she wants to change them, so contradictions naturally arise. As a daughter-in-law, if you really love your husband, you must learn to love this family and your mother-in-law.

3. How should the mother-in-law change this dilemma?

As a mother-in-law, although all this is for her own good, but some small details affect the life of her daughter-in-law, there will naturally be many contradictions, so her mother-in-law should also make these two changes:

First, letting go is love.

If our son wants to mold him at the age of 10 and 20, we should give him a correct attitude towards life and educate him to be kind, upright and noble. But after the age of 30, my son has his own family. As a mother, he should let go. Because at this time, his education and shaping stage has been completed, and the next step is to take the road of future life on his own. As a parent, you can only guide him when it is critical, not control his life. If you don't let go, how can the life of your son and daughter-in-law be harmonious?

Second, understand the daughter-in-law

As a mother-in-law, you should also learn to understand and go into the inner world of your daughter-in-law, because if she is unhappy in this family, the whole extended family will certainly suffer. If you want a harmonious family, you should think about why the daughter-in-law is unhappy, solve the fundamental essential problems and let the family live a happy life.

4. Change of husband

First, learn to choose.

As a husband and son, if he wants to play this role well, he must know how to absorb selectively. When there is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, don't blindly follow, have some selective absorption, and properly filter out some bad things.

Second, targeted expression.

Whether it is a mother or a wife, when expressing or stating something to them, sometimes it is not necessary to tell them the whole story. Only by knowing the correct filtering can we convey a beautiful voice to them and further promote the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

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