On my 32nd birthday.

I don't know what the theme of this article is, so I looked through the calendar to see if there are any special days, and suddenly I found that my birthday is coming, so I want to write this article for my upcoming 32 years old.

It's still a little uncomfortable to write down the number 32. I'm actually 32 years old. I feel that I am in my twenties, and I am stupid and happy every day. I didn't expect to come like this at the age of 32. Next is 40 years old. It's terrible to think about it.

In recent months, I have become very skin-care conscious. I apply eye cream seriously every morning and evening, because I can already vaguely see my crow's feet. A few years ago, my best friend told me to pay attention to maintenance, and I always ignored it. A bottle seems to be a 75ml black bottle of Lancome. I bought it in Europe on my honeymoon, but I don't remember using it. It took two years, and it was completely used up in August this year.

After the awareness of skin care becomes stronger (in fact, after giving birth to a child, the body changes too much, the body is deformed, and crow's feet begin to be obvious. I began to constantly fear the traces of the years, and felt that I was getting older all at once. I began to think that the single small black bottle of Lancome was not strong enough and the essence was still lacking, so I bought Estee Lauder's small brown bottle and sk2' s fairy pink bottle essence. After I bought it back, I found that the essence was so easy to use, one or two drops at a time was enough, and I found it was too late. So many essences will take years. A lazy person like me really wants to apply half a bottle of essence at a time, and then my skin will get better by leaps and bounds.

Although giving birth to a child has brought me too many changes, I obviously feel old, but every night I see my child sleeping next to me and my husband lying on my other side, and I feel very happy. Teacher Gao often tells me that he feels that he has everything with me. Actually, I'm not. I feel complete with him and my children.

In recent months, I often feel annoyed when I face Mr. Gao. I can't tell exactly why I feel upset, but I can't help but want to lose my temper, and my face will naturally not be good. Miss Gao has been asking me why I am unhappy and where I am unhappy. I really can't say it, but my inexplicable mood is wrong. Mr. Gao has tried very hard to tolerate it.

I went to yuanjiacun a few days ago, and I was in a bad mood before I left. Miss Gao clearly saw that I was in a bad mood, but she still wanted to talk to me in various ways. For example, when he packed his things, he asked me to bring a thermos cup without children, and I said I would. I said that children don't drink water, and it is easy to get wet when they feed water. Miss Gao still insisted on bringing it, but I held my breath and ignored him. He still talks about it in various ways. He broke out and got angry before I could have a good face and tone. Miss Gao, when I lose my temper, I will be more calm. I said, "You clearly see that I am in a bad mood. Why do you ask me all kinds of questions? If you ask me, you won't listen to me or stick to your own ideas. Then all you have to do is clean up quietly. Take whatever you like, don't ask me. " . He thinks that the husband and wife should discuss the amount, that is, they should communicate and talk in various ways, and then after losing their temper, he went upstairs with the child in his arms. I calmly lie on the sofa downstairs and play with my mobile phone. Sure enough, without waiting for a few minutes, Mr. Gao calmed down, packed up his emotions, went downstairs to apologize to me, and then everyone opened the page to continue cleaning up and went out.

This is also a great advantage of Mr. Gao. No matter who is right or wrong, Miss Gao always cleans up her emotions and apologizes to me. I won't do it. When he comes to me, I usually give him a step down.

I just don't understand why I am emotionally unstable. When I am with other family, colleagues, friends and myself, I am normal, but I am easily agitated when I am with Miss Gao. When he disagrees with my idea and insists on himself, I start to get upset. This kind of disagreement has a high probability, so I have a high probability of being upset. I don't want to see this situation. I even thought about whether it was hormonal instability or something.

But no matter what, I know in my heart that this is all my problem. I really shouldn't always "fidget". If there is a problem, I should solve it. If there is no problem, I should live a good life, take my time, control my emotions slowly, and grow old gracefully instead of being grumpy.

As for the child, he has been attached to me for almost eleven months, and he is attached to me more and more. Sometimes I feel guilty and sorry for my children. I obviously hold him so little and seldom take care of him. I am not a competent mother, but my children are always attached to me. When my grandparents can't help crying, I hold him and they never cry. Even recently, my grandparents sometimes can't take their children away from me, but they hold them.

Teacher Gao told me today that I should ask my grandparents to hug my children more, otherwise my children always want me not to have grandparents, for fear that my grandparents will be sad and feel that my children are heartless. Obviously, grandparents have been taking good care of them. Why did they only see their mother when they came? I smiled and said, why don't you say more and let me hold the baby?

In the past, Miss Gao always asked me to "snatch" the baby's hug from my grandparents. I don't want my grandparents to take care of me too much, and I have been worried that the intimate relationship with my children is not enough. Now seeing that the child is too attached to me, he begins to worry that my grandparents are sad.

"Double-sided tape high teacher" is really tangled. He always wants to keep the family in a good balance and everyone can be happy, so he often thanks me and thinks that I am good to my parents-in-law and my sister, so the big family is so harmonious and happy. In fact, it's really because parents-in-law are very good people. As long as my mother-in-law is here, I almost never cook or wash clothes, so I just do my own thing and just hug the children. My mother-in-law does almost everything.

At that time, I was still young, and I had too many fantasies about the future and too many ideas and demands on myself. At that time, I always hoped to marry a "perfect" prince charming, hoping that he would be good in all aspects, have experienced many blind dates and met one blind date after another. Then I have to admit that there may really be no such "perfect" people in reality, that is to say, those "perfect" people are all. I am not good enough, and I may not be worthy of each other, but a good relationship must be "evenly matched", so my mind began to calm down slowly, I began to face the reality, and I began to examine myself. During this period, I met the right person and Miss Gao at the right time, so everything went smoothly and naturally. We loved each other and thanked fate for letting us meet. However, maybe a year or two earlier, I can't help it.

Today, the heart of skills has gradually dissipated, and you will find that you have the best life and your heart is gradually practical. Thank you for each stage, and thank you for yourself at that time.

As for the future, forty years old is nothing to be afraid of. As long as you are young and optimistic, every stage of your life can be enriched. We can't extend the length of your life, but we can broaden the width of your life. I am working hard. I hope that ten years later, I will still thank myself. This decade has not been wasted. I hope I still have today's curiosity after ten years. This is the most important thing in my life.

As for this birthday, I want to give myself a birthday present, but I don't know what I want after thinking about it. I wanted to buy a good SLR camera for myself this birthday, such as Canon 5d, but the price of 20,000 yuan is really too expensive for me. The main reason is that I haven't brought myself any income through photography, and I haven't conducted in-depth research and study on photography, so I'm not too embarrassed to spend so much money to satisfy my hobbies. Teacher Gao said to change the lens first, study slowly and improve the level slowly. I think what he said is also reasonable, so I changed the lens a few days ago, but the new lens is a bit unsatisfactory. Besides, I really have no desire. I have everything I need. Although I am a little lost and don't know how to celebrate and commemorate my birthday, on the other hand, it is also a kind of happiness. I have everything I want.

No, I still want a big house. I just want a big flat floor with good lighting. It's really enough to live on the jump floor. I can climb 800 stairs a day, and I don't know when I can live in a big house. Today, the lottery failed again, and all the Vanke collected by Mr. Gao were sold out.

Another thing I want is to have my own car, which is very cheap. I have always dreamed that one day I can drive my own car and take my children out shopping, but if I have a car, I have to have a parking space. This is not just a need. I need to buy a big house first.

Teacher Gao often says that he is my driver and I can go wherever I want, but I still hope to drive by myself one day and feel the feeling of freedom and control.

And when Mr. Gao is happy, he will say that he is my exclusive driver. When he is angry, he will say, "am I really just a driver pulling you around?"

When you are happy, you will say, "You are an expert housekeeper. You can find anything you want. " When you are angry, you will say, "You can't even find a house that you manage every day."

When you are happy, you will say "I am happy as long as you are happy", and when you quarrel, it will become "Do you have to base your happiness on my pain?"

When I am happy, I will say "I will do anything for my wife". When I am angry, I will become "My feet are like this. You still have to go shopping. Don't you care about me at all? "

When I am happy, I will say, "You are a great mother". If the child has a lump, he will dislike my poor upbringing. I can't stand this kind of dislike, and I will always fight back violently, so when I encounter this situation again, he will often try to hold back, but his heart must be condescending to me.

But I really don't think I am a good mother. I really don't take good care of my children. I feel that I am very careful, but I am always careless unconsciously, and my children are hurt unnecessarily because of my improper behavior.

For example, last night, I was holding a small disc that fell from the battery, and the child wanted it. I was afraid he would eat it, so I squeezed it and didn't give it to him. The child came over and pulled hard, and his thumb was cut and bleeding. I really didn't expect this iron piece to be so sharp, and I felt very uncomfortable.

For example, this evening, the child crawled on the ground and played, and one leg reached under the sofa. I picked up the child directly without noticing this leg, and suddenly tripped over the child's leg, and the child cried again. I'm really sad and depressed, and I'm afraid something will happen to my child's leg. I was relieved to see that he could stand up and play normally.

If something happens to the child because of my misconduct, I can really piss myself off. I haven't taken care of my children these two days. The child has scratches on his face for no reason. I don't know how to shave it, and there is a red envelope on my forehead. I don't know where I was bitten or knocked by mosquitoes. These little accidents made me sad. I felt incompetent and sorry for my children. I was not in the mood to play with my mobile phone.

I am really clumsy and careless, which is really a taboo for raising children. Miss Gao is worried that I can't take care of the children by myself, and I'm worried that I can't cook with the children, so I always have to eat takeout. I said it's okay. I said it doesn't matter if I eat takeout for two days once in a while. I said it's ridiculous that a mother can't take care of her children alone, but now I think I just exist in such a ridiculous way. I'm so incompetent.

Some things are really simple and difficult to do. I thought it would be difficult to take care of children, and I didn't know it was really difficult and tiring until I had children. If this is a composition, I will digress eight hundred miles, that's all.

Anyway, having a baby is still a happy thing, and 3 1 this year is also a happy year. The only sad thing is that grandpa is seriously ill. I have been reluctant to mention this matter, and I always feel sad when I think about it. I only hope that his state will gradually get better, he can understand and speak, and his mental state will get better.