Talk about quadruplets.

Guide: The mobile phone is broken and needs maintenance. After checking, the repairman said: Brush the machine 50 times … I: Then brush it … Then the repairman took out a small brush …

1. After lunch, we hurried back to the classroom to do our homework. I didn't expect to fart. The exaggerated expression of the girl sitting next to me makes me uncomfortable. To make matters worse, she even said "bah!" . I was angry, too, and asked unhurriedly, "Sister, how can you vomit when you eat fart?" Sister immediately opened her eyes.

2. Sister Paper: Dear, what should I do if I jump into the pit and find that there are no help methods and tools? Sao nian: I'll poke a hole in my head first to let the water flow out so that I can float. Sister paper: Why is there so much water in my head? Sao nian: hum ... what if there is not so much water?

The mobile phone is broken and needs to be repaired. After checking, the repairman said: Brush the machine fifty times … I: Then brush it … Then the repairman took out a small brush …

4. A: Dude, I found that sister papers can be divided into three categories. Did you do it? No, tell me about it A: A kind of mind-wandering, a kind of kidney-wandering, and a kind of flow.

5, saying that a certain gentleman is a bit too urgent, so it is often relatively similar to the yellow race. One day, another matchmaker provided a new clue, so the gentleman deliberately dressed up and asked a young buddy: Come on, teach me, I'll go on a blind date later. What can I wear to look younger? Without thinking about it, the buddy jingled: wear open-backed pants.

6. One day, Cao Cao's army was on the road, hungry and thirsty. Cao Cao said, "There is Merlin ahead. Plums can quench your thirst! " Troops went there one after another. When they arrived, everyone cursed: "Cao Cao thief, there is no Merlin here, only a small river!" " "

7. Sister Paper A: Why do you think men are so different before and after falling in love? Sister paper B: Have you ever seen a student holding a book all day after the exam? Sister paper a: ...

8. M: 10 years later, I know my child's last name, but you don't. Everything is unknown ... Woman: What's the big deal? I know the child must be mine, but your child doesn't know. ...

9. My wife has a bad stomach and is often constipated. Every time I go to the bathroom, she looks at me viciously. If it's big, I have to punch when I come out, and she also maliciously scolds me: Dare to show off my wealth!

10, A: Why have you lost so much weight recently? B: I'm sorry that my husband is looking for a mistress ... A: Then get a divorce. B: No, I still want to lose 10 Jin. ...

165438+ can't stand it! I won't do it. "The male doctor scolded," If you can't stand it, you have to bear it. You won't come to me if you feel better. "

12, A: Dude, it is said that books are the ladder of human progress. B: Do you know what the elevator of human progress is? A: No, please advise. This is an e-book ...

13, A: Hey! The exam is coming, it seems that we have to work hard ... B: Come on ... It is obvious that the school scum system has to start the school bully mode, which not only consumes electricity, but also has a fucking special card. ...

14, one day Sima Guang was playing with his friends in the backyard. A little friend fell into the water tank, and everyone shouted. At this time, Sima Guang used his quick wits to smash the water tank, friends and pawns with a big stone. Everyone gathered around the body of their little friend and said, "Sima Guang, you are so smart."

15, see God's reply again. Reporter: "What do you think of setting off fireworks and firecrackers in the New Year?" Grandpa: "What do I think? Of course I saw it in the sky. " "Then I can't put it at home for the New Year?" Grandpa: "We don't put it at home, only fools put it at home." Reporter: "..."

16, Gong Yu thinks his two mountains are not pleasing to the eye, and he is determined to level them. Although it was difficult, he thought: he has children and grandchildren, and he can finally level the mountain. The story reached the ears of the Jade Emperor, who was very moved, so the Jade Emperor sent two Hercules to kill the stupid old man.

17, chatting with an old man ... old man: his health is getting worse every day. Me: Your body will live to be at least 90 years old. Old man: 1 month, I will be 90 ...

18, Wife: Honey, have you seen my clothes? Husband: Chao, who told you to go out without an umbrella?

19, female: "handsome coach, do you have a girlfriend?" Handsome coach: "No, concentrate, I'm teaching you to drive." Woman: "A virgin?" Handsome coach: "Yes ... Ah, no, no, it's strange that you ask this ..." Female: "You have a crush on me?" Handsome coach: "How can I put it?" Woman: "I see you are always peeking at me." Handsome coach: "No!" Woman: "Look, here we go again, hee hee ..." Handsome coach: "Hey, you're numb, I'm looking at the rearview mirror ..."

20. There are many women around my buddy. I recently heard that I'm getting married! A head of doubt, seeing his prospective wife, surprised us! Very general! Asked why, he said: I really don't think this has been touched!

2 1. After going to the temple on holiday, I took out my student ID card ... Conductor: All students are equal before the Buddha, so there is no student ticket. ...

22. Brother: Sister, I want to buy a laptop. Do you agree? Sister: I definitely agree. Brother: How much did you help?

23. Wife: I saw a very philosophical sentence today. The other half doesn't fit like wearing shoes. Only my own feet know ... Husband: No wonder my feet hurt. ...

24. Women nowadays are too delicate. My wife and I went out to exercise. After walking less than 100 meters, she was tired ... I had to get rid of her. ...

25. Neighbor Li Er's wife came home after going to the hospital for examination, saying that she was pregnant with quadruplets, and began to show off to her neighbors everywhere. Because she didn't know medical professional knowledge, she casually said, "It's really not easy to give birth to quadruplets, with an average of 60 thousand births." Xia Er, a sister-in-law who is as ignorant as she is, said in surprise, "Do you still have time to do housework?" I really want to laugh.

26. The construction company wanted an experienced employee, and Lao Li applied for it ... Lao Li: I'm an old hand in the construction industry ... Interviewer: Can you be more specific? Lao Li: I have been sifting sand in the workplace for so many years. ...

27, shopping in the supermarket, checkout, the wife proudly said: pay attention to that female cashier? I asked curiously: What's the matter? The wife said: her beard print is so obvious, but mine is not very obvious. I gloat: yours is almost the same as mine! The wife said angrily, do you believe it? I killed you! !

28. After breakfast, my wife asked me to go out to buy clothes. After I packed up, my wife said to me, "How many years have we only been married? Why do you look so old-fashioned? " I smiled and took out a hundred-dollar bill and said, "Do you like it?" The wife immediately said, "I like it." I immediately said bluntly, "If you like RMB, do you still care what year it was issued?" My wife was speechless at once.

29. Go to the hospital today. I saw a little boy about 6 or 7 years old, wearing open-backed pants and walking with his legs crossed. Tintin buckled a plastic bowl and held it in his little hand. Approached, I saw a band-aid on Tintin, and I really wanted to know what the child had done. I don't have the courage to take pictures. You can fix it yourself.

30. Maybe I'm too handsome. Our female monitor just wants to get my attention and get close to me, so she often asks me to take out the garbage and clean the toilet. ...

Editor's note: I found 100 yuan at the gate of the factory in the early morning, and the whole factory knew that I would invite you to dinner. Anyway, please pick it up. Only 100 was invited, and few people went. Finally, after eating and checking out … more than 200! I deeply feel cheated! Might as well not pick it up.

Have you read such a proud and literary sentence?

1. One day, you think of someone for no reason. She made you look forward to tomorrow, but she didn't appear in your tomorrow at all.

The more you know, the less you know.

I didn't realize it when I stepped on the train a few years ago. Since then, my hometown has only winter and summer, but no spring and autumn.

I finally realized that it wasn't my flower, I just happened to see it blooming.

May there be endless wine in your dream to wake up this life. You should take good care of your black hair, picky belly and smiling eyes.

6. I give you my whole soul, together with its quirks, small temper, flickering and 1800 bad habits. Really annoying, only one thing is good. I love you.

7. I once heard someone say that when you can't have it anymore. The only thing you can do is not to forget yourself.

8. What can a coward burn except weak grass, even if he has great anger?

9. It's a popular world to leave, but none of us are good at saying goodbye.

10. I only have one life, so I can't give generously to people I don't love.

1 1. About contacting you, I can hide from the night when I sing wine, but I can't hide from the deserted streets.

12. I have crossed bridges in many places, seen clouds many times, and drunk wine many times, but I have only loved one person who is just right in age.

13. I wish I lived in a movie. The next shot is a subtitle: many years later.

14. Although you and I will miss you, you know that I have always loved you.

15. I like you, like the wind has traveled 80,000 miles, regardless of the return date.

16. We talked about everything in the spring breeze and autumn rain, but we lost touch in the spring outing to Qiu Lai.

17. My childhood withered and my husband was old. From then on, everyone I fell in love with was like you.

18. Seeing you, I feel more or less adapted to this world.

19. For the rest of my life, snow will be you, plain will be you, poverty will be you, magnificence will be you, tenderness in my heart will be you, and my eyes will be you.

20. May you be a heroine who can cut through thorns and be a beloved child.

Talk about arrogance, talk about the arrogance of girls.

1. Don't say sorry to insincere people. You are the best apology.

If there is a next life, I must be your heart, because if I don't jump, you will die.

3. There are no people to miss, but passers-by will leave.

If what you give me is the same as what you give to others, then I don't want it.

If you are hot, I get one point, if you are cold, I get one point. If you are neither salty nor light, I may not be infatuated.

I will become a better person because of you, but not for you. /Shuo Shuo/

7. Since you don't care, why should I be stubborn? If I meet you by chance, I should be a stranger.

8. It's hard for me to get used to it. When I meet the right taste, I want to keep it for myself.

9. I've had enough emotional suffering, and I hope to live like a devil incarnate in the future. Be a free and easy person with wind in my blood. I will give up everything. If I am heartless and go with the wind, I will no longer be infatuated.

10. I miss you, so I won't contact you. I'd rather be arrogant and moldy than crazy.

1 1. The cold water you spilled on me will be boiled and returned to you.

12. I hope there will be a knife rain in my heart, and those who stay inside will be chopped into meat sauce.

13. What you are suffering now is your previous death. QQ personality sharing.

14. Someone asked me why my skin is black. This is very interesting. One white covers all the ugliness. You white it to hide your ugliness, but I'm not ugly.

15. Be a woman. Whoever treats you as a spare tire will have a flat tire.

16. If someone says goodbye to you, you shouldn't ask when we will meet again. You should smile and tell each other that you will never see him again.

17. What I am depends on how others treat me.

18. Maybe your background is not perfect, maybe your life background is not very strong, but you should remember that all ridicule and discrimination are temporary and inferiority is unnecessary. Now the helplessness, sadness and confusion will pass after a while. Today's hardships will be transformed into motivation, and efforts will be exchanged for success, and success is a slap in the face, which is much more.

19. You didn't meet a better person because you didn't become a better person.

I don't need you to comment on my quality. I have different ways and have no common goal.

2 1. Don't think too much about me, lest one day you find my shortcomings. Give me a sentence: you have changed.

22. If you missed the sound, you should have been noisy to death by me.

23. Maturity means that you ignore me and I won't say much. If you satirize me, I will laugh it off. If you love me, I will love you more.

You all say that I am a disgrace to the whole world, but you have never been kind to me.

25. The coolest look of a woman should be amorous feelings, kissing different lips, liking different people, but not loving anyone.

Your time is limited. Don't waste it living other people's lives.

27. Studying hard for a year and getting into a good high school is more practical than loving someone who has nothing to do with the future for a year, isn't it? In the ninth grade, our proud personality qq, talk about 202 1.

1, my colleague Bugatti Veyron was driven away by the traffic police one day.

2. During the onset of chronic depression, strangers don't bother and acquaintances don't look for it.

3. How many good students have you raped in school?

4. Some are monitor, some are study committee members, and I am the representative of the unreasonable class.

5. If your wife says you, listen; I said you, just bear it.

6. It is said that I met love at the corner, but I met a big German shepherd at the corner.

7. The most vicious spell is to curse people for loving each other because they are brothers and sisters.

8. Happiness means that cats eat fish, dogs chew bones and I sleep.

9. Isn't that what love is all about? Break up after injury

10, compared with genius, you must lose; You should be more stupid than him. You must win.

1 1, your love for me is as vigorous as a tractor climbing a mountain.

12, I can fall asleep in class every day, but I was dreaming.

13. Because my signature is too personal, the system crashes directly and cannot be displayed.

14, I want to be the tooth in your mouth in my next life. At least I don't feel well. You will hurt.

15, I love you, but it doesn't mean I can't live without you. Be careful I kick you in a bad temper.

16, I love you, come back for you, fuck you, I love you.

17, people sometimes cry when they are old, so love is over. Let's go

18, fuck love, employers and employees don't like it, please take mistress out of my sight.

19, at that time, simplicity was synonymous with innocence; Now, simplicity is synonymous with pack to force.

20, women, to live a high profile, don't let the dog behind you see jokes.

2 1. He abandoned me and will abandon you sooner or later, so don't be too happy.

22. Smart women value friends, while stupid women value friends.

If you don't love me, please leave consciously, or I will let you die very ugly.

24. Don't play tricks behind your back, but in front of me.

25. Go up and kick someone when they bully you, and then tell him that you are not easy to bully.

26. Why are you crying? You are a useless person, aren't you?

Don't be silly, the best person in the world has married your mother.

28. I have a full battery. Who can corona myself?

29. I hope to see you become a white-haired grandfather.

30. I just want to prove to you that I am happy to dump you.

3 1, today is your birthday, and a friend ordered a shit cake for you.

32. Nothing is perfect, even if people are already stunted.

33,360 can't kill the virus in my computer, so I can only let it die in my computer.

34. At the beginning of life, nature is good, play with your brain and get out.

I was caught in the rain, only to find that I forgot to bring my umbrella.

No one will play tricks, but you won't break your hand, will you?

Don't think that drinking pure milk every day will make you clean.

How proud you are, like a peacock every day.

39. Sad and broken, do you know what pain is?

40. Do you only do one thing every day? Laugh at others and praise yourself.

4 1, how do you know the value of Friday without experiencing Monday's plunge?

42. It's none of your business whether others are good or bad. Really nosy.

43. Life is like a play, and who dies in the end is not necessarily.

Your heart has changed seasons, but my love is still on that day.

45, girl, don't be nervous, I am not a good person!

46. If you have a pear and put it in the refrigerator, it can become a frozen pear.

47. Hang a mosquito net, sleep naked in it, lure mosquitoes and die in it.

48. I never care about the amount of money. I only look at the size of the numbers.

49. What is modesty? Packing; What is courage? two hundred

50, you always live in memories, you don't know, I have died in it.