Who can provide me with a cross talk line from Jiang Kun and Tang Jiezhong? I can’t remember the name. The content talks about turning Tiananmen Square into a market...

Big News

Author: Liang Zuo

Performer: Jiang Kun, Tang Jiezhong

B: This is a cross talk performance between Comrade XX and I .

A: (to the backstage) Hey, call me later when there is evening news! Evening news! I don’t look at anything else...you said.

B: We used to meet you often on TV...

A: Yes. ...Hey, it’s Channel 2! Channel 8 may not be clear, channel 2! ...It's okay, you said.

B: Everyone is very familiar with us. This time we...

A: I'm not going anywhere! I'm right here! Come back and find me here! ...Come on, you say.

B: I asked you what is going on?

A: Waiting to see the news! Old Hehe, I just hope something happens to the country!

B: What happened to the country?

A: Didn’t you know that such a big thing happened to the country?

B: What’s the matter?

A: The country hasn’t said anything yet.

B: The country didn’t tell me how I knew.

A: Then how do I know?

B: You don’t know anything. You are full of tongue and spread gossip everywhere.

A: Hey, old Comrade X! What you said is wrong! What is a full tongue? Doesn’t the tongue follow the mouth? Where to run? Run away with your head on your back? Bah da, bah... people still think you have three ears?

B: I mean you love to gossip! What kind of country has something big going on? If the country doesn't tell you about a major national event, you know about it first?

A: Of course! What do I do!

B: Aren’t you just an ordinary worker?

A: Ordinary workers, do you look down upon them? That's called leadership! Even though you wear glasses, don’t you just know molecules? You are part of our working class too! Such a small piece! So a tiny bit! Do you dare to say that you are not? You stand up! You jump and shout! "I'm not working class!" you say! You say it!

B: Hey, what’s wrong with this guy!

A: I am angry with you! If people like you don't care about national affairs, can reform be carried out?

B: Why should I care about you?

A: Ask around! Ask! Just think about it if you have nothing to do! How many great things are happening now! I ask you, do you know? When does the Politburo meet? When does it arrive?

B: How did I know this?

A: I’m sorry you don’t know either! Come on, let me ask you, what changes have been made to the central leadership recently?

B: I don’t know!

A: What is the number of the car that the Secretary-General of the State Council rides on? What is the telephone number of the General Staff Headquarters?

B: Do you know this?

A: No need to make a fuss, I’m telling you, old X, I’m almost there.

B: You’re almost in!

A: Where should I go?

B: You are about to be arrested!

A: Why arrest me?

B: You are so cunning, asking for gossip everywhere, just like a spy.

A: Did I ask about it? I caught up! Tonight, the leader revealed this important national event to me!

B: Did the chief reveal it to you? Where?

A: Tiananmen, on the square!

B: Oh, the chief called you there to reveal the news to you!

A: Look at your attitude! The chief minister called me to the square to tell me about national events? Violation of discipline! Was this said explicitly?

B: Did you say it secretly?

A: I am the leader and I am aboveboard. Can I say something secretly?

B: What did you say?

A: The leader was wandering around Tiananmen Square with his hands behind his back, talking to himself carelessly, with his upper lip touching his lower lip, "Bata, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah!" , hey, he just said it!

B: How dare birds fly out of their chief’s mouth! "Bata Bata"... I said which country's leader is this?

A: Nonsense! Chinese.

Are there any foreign leaders? Refrigerators are better than those from foreign countries, but the leader must be from our own country. China is a very good country. Is it ridiculous to have three Indian chief ministers?

B: What did the chief say?

A: The leader is so energetic! Superior spirit! He probably just finished the meeting and his superiors assigned him a task. He was confused because he couldn't complete it, so he went to the square to find someone to talk to. This made him feel happy!

B: Well, this chief can’t keep things at bay!

A: He is also a human being! He is full of emotions, weddings and funerals, and sometimes he is worried that his salary is not enough...

B: Okay, okay, tell me what this spirit is.

A: This... may be broadcast on TV later. Everyone, please pay attention!

B: Can’t you tell me first?

A: I don’t know to which level the superiors’ regulations are conveyed, and whether it comes first to party members or the masses. Later, some people said that I spread gossip and had a bad influence. Of course, I am in the leadership. I don’t have anything to do with it. The main thing is that you are like this. When the time comes, they will find you together and ask you one by one...

B: Okay, just tell me quickly. Bar!

A: Do you really want me to say it? Then let's talk about what we said. It's over after listening. Don't record it.

Comrades, to put it briefly, the superiors have recently decided that Tiananmen Square...will be turned into a farmer's market!

B: Huh? Is this true?

A: I heard it with my own ears! Isn’t it true that everyone can be so happy? This is called being happy from the bottom of your heart! Everyone has been waiting for me for a long time! Right? Comrades, this day has finally arrived! Okay, everyone, please go out and stop talking nonsense. I'm leaving!

B: Don’t mention it, I don’t feel right about you coming back. Tiananmen Square was renovated into a farmer’s market. Is there such a change?

A: This person is quite sincere! Reform, why haven't you changed it? People in other places have changed it!

B: Where has it been changed?

A: Where... people, for example, Zhongnanhai people have changed it!

B: Has Zhongnanhai transformed into a farmers’ market?

A: That’s outrageous! Zhongnanhai is where state leaders work. Can it be transformed into a farmers’ market?

B: Then why did you change it?

A: Anyway, it’s different from the past! Can you go in there casually? Don't even talk about going in. If you have nothing to do, if you stick your head in there, someone might come and ask you! What's going on now? You can visit with a ticket! You go in and walk around in circles and no one cares!

B: That’s Chairman Mao’s former residence. I told you to renovate the farmer’s market, it won’t be as good as it is!

A: Well, let’s talk about the Revolutionary History Museum, do you know? What was there in the past? Precious cultural relics! Chairman Mao’s oil lamp, Premier Zhou’s pocket watch, and Zhu De’s carrying pole have all been changed now!

B: Changed the farmer’s market?

A: It’s time to change the trendy furniture exhibition! Combination cabinets, chests of drawers, and three-drawer tables are piled everywhere. You can tell them whether they are fresh or not after paying for them!

B: That’s right!

A: You understand, it is easy to take it away. After it is used and worn out, if you want to send it back for cultural relics exhibition, they may not accept it. They will say that your level is not enough! What a wicked thing!

B: That’s right. Is it fair to send all the broken furniture there after everyone has finished using it?

A: Elsewhere, the Tiananmen Gate Tower. In the past, it was the place where national leaders reviewed millions of troops. Now it has been changed!

B: What has been changed?

A: Sell tickets to visit! It doesn’t matter if you are a leader or not, as long as you have money, you can take any job!

B: It’s a good thing to open the city tower for everyone to visit!

A: Yes, I mainly hate some people who don’t realize it. If you go up there, just stay there. It’ll be fun. He won’t. He’ll be so brave when you go up there. He walked shyly towards the center, waved downwards with a straight face, and shouted: "Long live the people!" Are you right to shout those words?

B: If he likes to shout, let him shout!

A: Regarding our efforts to change things, what’s new about converting Tiananmen Square into a farmer’s market? Okay, what did we say? See you later!

B: Come back! You come back first!

A: Look, why are you so clingy! When something happens to me, you keep pestering me!

B: Hey, I’m a kid! I want you to explain things clearly before you leave!

A: Is there anything unclear? How clear this is! My superiors are really good at chess! I thought, this, this is also part of deepening reforms!

B: Oh, is this called deepening reform?

A: Yes! It, it’s called supporting measures! Open whatever you want first, and then open whatever you want. They do it step by step, opening the tower first, then the square. Then you go to the tower and drink! I understand everything in my heart.

B: What do you understand?

A: Where to sell snacks, where to sell vegetables, where to sell live fish, where to sell kelp, where to sell buckets, where to sell pot lids, where is the shade, where is the sun...

B: Why does it sound so confusing to me?

A: Chaos? This confuses the enemy and tempers the masses. You may not be used to it at first, but just exercise. The farmer’s market is so quiet!

B: Is this still quiet?

A: Where do the scores compare! Compared to others in the Middle East, even if there isn't much movement here, you can't hear anything!

B: Anyway, this movement is not small.

Tiananmen Square is the window of our country. What’s the point of leaving the farmers’ market alone?

A: Window? Yes, this is the window! Foreigners don’t know what’s going on in your country. If you look through this window: Oh, there’s a farmer’s market! That’s right, they have a commodity economy here! Look again, hey, things are quite cheap, done, got it, primary stage!

B: Do you know that?

A: The window looks white at first glance. Foreigners have arrived in China. How has China done in recent years? Come to this window to see and drink! very nice! China really has...everything now! Live chickens, live fish, sea crabs, lentils... This foreigner is not in a hurry!

B: What?

A: I won’t be hungry this time!

B: They never went hungry!

A: No, he is relieved! With so much excitement and prosperity, are we, China, like a debtor who refuses to repay its debts? Go back to the Great Hall of the People to negotiate. As soon as you get up the stairs, he will take out money, invest, loan, whatever you ask for, he will agree to it. This is called improving the investment environment!

B: Is the environment good? How can we hold a meeting when a farmer's market is blocked in front of the Great Hall of the People and it's noisy?

A: It’s great! Just for the convenience of meetings! How tired you are from the meeting, why don’t you find something to make up for? "Comrades, my speech mainly talks about three issues...Buy me a bowl of wontons! The first question...put less soy sauce, I am being soft-spoken! The second question is, we should currently...Hey, I I want that big bowl!”

B: Is this a meeting?

A: This...yeah, for a meeting, you need to be in touch with reality, right? There is a farmer’s market here, how practical it is! While talking and talking, I ran out of words, and someone shouted from outside: "Three pounds and four taels, five dollars and sixty-seven cents -" Hurry up and talk!

B: What are you talking about?

A: Let’s talk about prices! Three kilograms and four taels sell for five yuan and sixty-seven cents. Is it okay to go up like this?

B: Hey!

A: Someone shouted again: "Comrade Lao Zhang, I've handed you over once since this morning, why are you still accepting it!" Hurry up and talk!

B: What are you talking about?

A: Let’s talk about tax issues! I collected taxes in the morning and then collected them again at noon. Isn’t this double taxation?

B: Oh!

A: "Second Aunt, wait a minute, the heels of my shoes will be stepped on!" Talk quickly!

B: What are you talking about?

A: Talk about product quality! The shoes I bought in the morning fell off at noon. What quality! Over there, there is a fine for spitting, here we talk about city appearance management, when outside there is a collision between a bicycle and a horse-drawn carriage, here we talk about traffic safety...

B: I dare you to follow outside right now!

A: How about it? Now you can see the importance of this farmer’s market! You said the superior's idea... how did he come up with it? I have lived for more than thirty years and have never figured it out!

B: You haven’t figured it out yet? Isn’t this all your idea?

A: I am also thinking based on the spirit of my superiors!

B: Then think about it, Tiananmen Square, the Monument to the People’s Heroes, such a solemn place, is it appropriate to set up a tent, set up stalls, bargain, shout and drink, is it appropriate?

A: It’s appropriate! It’s so suitable! The place is spacious and convenient for setting up stalls, and the shouts are loud and clear: "Want to eat fried cakes? Big fried cakes! Big fried cakes at the monument!"

B: You have to break your teeth!

A: "Eat one piece to commemorate the martyrs, two pieces to carry on the legacy, three pieces... Please give me the money quickly!"

B: This is not ridiculous!

A: That’s outrageous? That’s because you didn’t think deeply about it! This is called comforting the martyrs in Jiuquan! The Chinese people stand up! Become rich! It’s convenient to buy anything! How happy the martyr would be if he knew!

B: Then there must be a free market here?

A: Our revolutionary martyrs sacrificed their lives for freedom! This free market is so free! It is very poetic. "Life is precious, love is more expensive. If it is a free market..." This is wrong, isn't it? Let's change it: "Eggs are precious, duck eggs are more expensive. If you buy preserved eggs, you still have to pay for them." Pay fifty cents!" How about that? How about this poem?

B: Not so good!

A: Then forget it! I'll take the first step.

Comrades, hurry up! I'll go and see where I can set up a stall first!

B: Come back!

A: What are you doing? What to do?

B: Come back! Let me ask you again: Tiananmen is the place where the five-star red flag is raised. How do you see the flag raising in a farmer's market?

A: Watch the flag raising? Why watch the flag-raising?

B: Carry out patriotic education?

A: Raise the flag? What time?

B: The national flag and the sun rise together.

A: Yes! We want to watch the flag-raising, and we can do it before the sun rises. Do we have time to have breakfast? How convenient it is to guard the farmer’s market! Ready-made tofu noodles, snoring and drinking, while watching the red flag rising, snoring, snoring, how exciting, how happy! In the old society, could you drink such hot tofu nao? Can you see such a bright five-star red flag? How rare the red flag was back then! If you want to see the red flag, you have to embroider it yourself! (Singing) "The needle is urgent, the thread is dense, embroidering the red flag with tears in my eyes, embroidering the red flag..."

B: Okay, okay, he still remembers the bitterness and the sweetness!

A: Comrades from the People’s Liberation Army also want a bowl of tofu nao! How hard it is to get up in the morning and raise the national flag... It doesn't matter if you give money or not, the military and the people are in a different situation, and food stamps are also exempted!

B: The People’s Liberation Army is on a flag-raising mission, can they drink tofu nao as they please? That was a serious occasion!

A: What is a serious occasion? In 1949, Peking was peacefully liberated and the People's Liberation Army entered the city. Is it serious or not? The common people lined the streets to welcome you! The one who brings tea, the one who brings water, the one who brings towels, the one who brings eggs, is he allowed to bring eggs but not us? Besides, the protein content of these two things is almost the same!

B: This person is so pretentious!

A: Who is being hypocritical? I will publicize this great meaning to you! I mean, you old comrades just can't keep up with the situation. You don't believe what the chief says. What else do you believe? You are so fat that you don’t believe anything! Comrades, there is a crisis of confidence!

B: Don’t blame me yet! After talking for a long time, what did the chief say?

A: Of course the chief didn’t say so much about me, but the chief’s instructions were very clear. The chief said: “It would be great to have a small stall in such a big square!” You see, is it clear or not? !

B: Who is this leader?

A: Which leader? Tell me, you may recognize him. I always pass by your door. You may not notice him. He is tall, with gray hair and swollen eyelids...

B: Oh! Just those thick lips and those provocative ears? The person in the aisle is always shy...

A: The level is not low at first glance! Is he at the bureau or ministerial level?

B: He is anxious!

A: Why are you so anxious?

B: Isn’t he worried because he can’t find a place to do business?

A: Is he still in business? Is he an official?

B: No.

A: What business does he do?

B: Import and export.

A: Foreign trade department.

B: No, it’s mainly domestic sales.

A: Where do you import from and where do you export?

B: He built a big stove, with the inlet coming from the top and the outlet coming from the bottom.

A: What does he do?

B: Your chief understands this clearly! "Twenty-five cents a piece, come to me, Wang Laohu, and eat first and then pay -"

A: What is this for sale?

B: "Roasted white potatoes with red flesh!"

A: Ouch!