Animal jokes

Jokes about animals

1. The puppy and the piglet play together. Puppy: "What is one plus one?" Piggy: "Two!" Puppy: "Wow! You are so smart!" Piggy: "Of course, you think I have a pig head!"

2. During the holiday party, fireflies served as lighting effects artists and flew together in the air. One of them did not light up, and the other asked him curiously: "Brother! Why don't you light up? ?", the non-luminous firefly said: "Hey! Forget it, the electricity price has been raised again. I owe the electricity bill last month!"

3. "The temperature at the poles is getting higher and higher, and the penguins and polar bears are leaving. They finally met at the equator. The penguin said: Brother Bear, although the greenhouse effect prevents us from keeping warm, this environment has made my family almost extinct. The polar bear said: Sister Penguin, don’t be sad, although we will. Disappear first, but humans will also pay the price for everything they have done. "

4. The kitten was fishing by the river and was accidentally pinched by a crab that emerged from the river. The crab saw that something was wrong. Run away quickly. The kitten continued fishing, and after a while he caught a shrimp. The kitten saw it and said: "Xiaoya, you have lost such weight in the blink of an eye. The weight loss effect is good."

5. A rooster I fell in love with a hen, so I decided to invite the hen to dinner. The hen readily agreed and dressed up to attend. After the meal, the waiter asked the rooster to pay, and the rooster said: "He pays the bill today." The hen was stunned and said, "Didn't you invite me to dinner?" The rooster said: "Haven't you heard that the iron rooster doesn't plucking his hair? I'm like that "An iron rooster."

6. The puppy and the kitten went to court to file for divorce soon after they got married. The elephant judge asked him the reason for his wish. The puppy said: "The kitten doesn't come home every day and night. I doubt it." Cheating behavior!" The kitten said with grievance: "I just chased the mouse." Puppy: "Look, it admitted it!"

7. Mouse: I am in love with the bat now. From now on, the children will live in the air and will not be afraid of you cats. The cat sneered, pointed at the owl on the tree and said: Did you see, she is already pregnant with my child!

8. The mouse opened a warehousing company and soon discovered that goods were being lost every day. So he invited a cat detective to investigate, and the truth soon came to light. It turned out that the mouse was behind the scenes!

9. The toad fell in love with the swan, but was afraid that the swan would dislike him for being ugly, so he asked his cousin the frog to date the swan on his behalf. As a result, the frog and the swan got married!

10. There is a snake in the jungle that wraps around the tree trunk and eats sparrows. It likes to swallow the sparrows' nests in one mouthful. Other snakes find it strange and ask why it wants to eat nests. This snake only sees it. He rolled his eyes at the other snakes: "Didn't you hear what humans said?" Then he closed his eyes again as if he was having endless aftertaste, slowly exhaled and sighed: "Nescafe coffee, it tastes great!"

11. There was a young mosquito in the sky. The spider saw it and said, "Handsome man, come to my house to have a rest." The mosquito said, "Do you have anything interesting there?" The spider said, "Yes. , I opened an Internet cafe, please come and surf the Internet!" After hearing this, the mosquito rushed over.

12. Don’t play with rabbits, be careful of getting pink eye. Don’t play with spiders. They stay idle on the Internet all day long. Don’t play with pandas. Wear sunglasses. God knows if he is a good person. Don’t play with Cang Sheng. , the trouble of chirping silently all day long.

13. Animal remarks: Zebra: It has eaten grass all its life, but it was unexpected that it could still be photographed on the city roads. Earthworm: Working underground for a long time, there are more and more roads. Moth: I believe in me. The way forward is bright. Python: At such an old age, it still cannot learn to take the right path. Owl: It’s a dark and windy night to catch mice!

14. A chicken laughed at a duck for being ugly. The duck said unhappily: "I am not as knowledgeable as a naughty chicken."

The chicken said disdainfully: "You're not much better, aren't you just a duck eating soft rice?" ”

15. When the ant fell ill, the giraffe doctor was responsible for diagnosis and treatment. For a long time, the giraffe failed to find the ant’s blood vessel. Finally, it found the blood vessel, but broke the ant’s thigh. The ant’s family refused to let him go and took the case to court. , the court ruled that while the giraffe was paying compensation to the ant, it had to reattach the ant's leg until it died. From this, the truth about "who will win" was revealed.

16. Wolfsburg came. A large group of beauties are vying to marry Big Big Wolf. Red Wolf beats Big Big Wolf with a frying pan: "You pervert, you go everywhere to attract bees and butterflies to me." "Big Big Wolf felt aggrieved: "Honey, I don't have one. "All the beauties sang: "When you marry, marry Big Big Wolf. Such a man is a role model. "Who wrote this song, I will find you..."

17. The ant went to take a bath with the elephant. The elephant asked the ant if he wanted to take a bath. Yes, the ant said: You go find it, I'll forget it, it costs the same amount, you can do it for me, so I'll do it myself.

18. An unmarried male rat. The matchmaker introduced a blind date with a female mouse. The male mouse knelt under the pomegranate skirt with a bouquet of flowers and said: "My dear, please marry me." The female mouse became angry and said angrily: "You are just a big liar. People singing all over the street are that mice love rice. If I want to marry you, I will be blind." "

19. When the donkey met the dog, he sighed: Nowadays, with the development, the donkey no longer needs to be polished, but he only has to be slaughtered. Unlike you, he has become a pet. The dog also sighed: Brother Donkey , you don’t know, being a dog is also difficult. Every time the owner gives me the leftover food, I know there is gutter oil as soon as I smell it. If I don’t eat it, the owner will feed me poisonous milk powder. He also says: shake before drinking. Shake.

20. The rabbit said to the snail: Brother Snail, you are so happy that you don’t have to worry about the house. The snail: It’s hard, I have been married to your sister-in-law for two years, and I have never lived together! Where are you? Do you have a partner? I just saw that idiot who was reading text messages waiting for you. He was almost dry. He was so infatuated...

21. A group of fireflies went out to play, everyone. I found that a firefly in the team was not glowing, so I asked him what was going on. The firefly scratched his head and said: Sorry, I forgot to pay the electricity bill last month.

22. Butterfly and Piggy got married soon. When I went to court to file for divorce, the judge asked: “Why? Butterfly said: "I don't like living with lazy pigs." "Little Pig said: "I don't like living with butterflies who play around with flowers all day long! ”

23. A cat turned around and ran away when it saw a mouse. The other cats laughed at it when they saw this scene. The cat said aggrievedly, it didn’t bite your ears, but you looked at mine. No more.

24. When I got up in the morning, the little white rabbit said to the hard-working old cow: "Good morning! Lao Niu asked: "What are you talking about? Why can't I understand it?" "The little white rabbit said mockingly: "It's like playing the piano to a cow! "

25. The rabbit proposed to the puppy, and the puppy said: "No! Rabbit asked: "Why?" The puppy said: "My mother said that pink eye is very contagious. Come to me after you are cured." "The rabbit immediately ran home and dropped eye drops.

26. The little scorpion was listless all day. The scorpion's mother felt strange when she saw it, so she asked him what was going on. The little scorpion sighed and said: "Yesterday I competed with the little crab, but after a whole day of competition, there was still no winner. Scorpion's mother was surprised and asked: "What are you comparing?" "Little Scorpion: "Guessing..."

27. Crow: As a hacker that everyone knows, I will not defend myself: the innocent will be clean, and the black will be black.

Rabbit: My eyes are God-given red, which warns me never to walk in the underworld!

28. When a fly marries a man, my mother said: Find someone with knowledge. You see, the squid is full of ink. My father said: Find someone with skills. Just like a spider who specializes in the Internet. My brother said: Find someone with knowledge. If you look at the person with a good career, he is also a pilot after all. My sister said: Find someone with a future. If you look at the person who reads text messages, he is at least a media star, and all the text messages will be sent to him!

29. "When the mother mouse saw the mouse child playing with the cat, she was so scared that she trembled all over. She hurriedly picked up the mouse child and took it back to the hole. The cat sat at the entrance of the hole in despair and said: Finally caught it and read my text message. Yes, but his mother took it away. "

30. After lunch, the hen and the cow sat together and chatted. The hen said, "Humans have family planning, but we are told to lay eggs as hard as we can." Oh, come on, so many people drink my milk every day, and no one calls me mom.”

31. The Sika Deer said: Although you misdiagnosed that my horns are tree branches, I still want to sincerely thank you. You, massage and tickle me, forest doctor! Woodpecker: Why do you always think so much about my little insect-catching skills?

32. The reporter wanted to know what the penguins in Antarctica were doing, so he investigated them one by one. The first penguin said: Eat, sleep, and beat eggs. The second penguin said: Eat, sleep, and beat eggs. The third penguin said: Eat, sleep, and beat eggs. I kept asking a lot of questions and always answered like this. When I asked about the last penguin, the penguin said: eat and sleep. The reporter was very surprised and asked him why he didn't hit Dandan. Penguin glared: I am Dandan! ;