A classmate I haven’t contacted for many years suddenly contacted me and wanted to come to Beijing to hang out with me for a few days. How should I refuse?

It’s surprisingly accurate: as long as they act like a corpse scammer one day, they will call me and send messages, asking me questions and talking about things: "Old classmate, who am I? How are you doing lately? ...Bala bala for half a day, the last sentence is definitely 'I'll meet you for a drink someday...'"

It can take as long as half a month, or as little as the next day, they will definitely arrive!

Haha, as a self-proclaimed director of the Beijing Office, I feel that I still have some experience, experience, and lessons:

10 Beipiao In the past year, I have hosted more than half of my classmates, not to mention relatives and friends...

To sum up, I am a typical "four companions", accompanying me to eat, drink, play, and diagnosis.

It has the "four guide" functions: tour guide, shopping guide, navigation, and medical consultation!

It’s a “four-match” ending: time, energy, money, and favors (I also have to ask for help in some aspects).

When you come, you will be picked up, and when you leave, you will be dropped off, and you will be asked by name: Eat roast duck, drink Erguotou!

In 2013, my local personal business entertainment expenses (meals, accommodation, transportation, etc.) in the imperial capital were three times the amount of my normal work business entertainment expenses.

I have been to the plastic greenhouse of the Great Wall and the Summer Palace in Xidan Wangfujing, the front gate of the Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, nearly 2-30 times. I can’t even look at the roast duck Erguotou...

Helpless move: Over time, every time we had dinner, I would tell them a few words: Never say that you saw me, and never say that I was picking up roast duck and Erguotou. If it doesn’t work, just scold me. In other words, let’s just say that this guy is no longer a thing, he is not nostalgic at all, he is dressed in a sloppy way, and he is still ignored. Anyway, you can scold me whatever you want, as long as you don’t scold my parents! Because I am just a part-time worker, they all come to me, I can’t afford to entertain them! I will tell you one more time before we break up at the station.

Summary: I can’t bear the trouble, and I can’t bear the annoyance: It’s not about how well I do in the imperial capital, nor how important I am. Maybe they just need a free and paid tour guide! For those who are a little sensible, before they get in the car or get home, they will send a polite message or call them to say a few polite words, but most of them have never been heard from again, unless they come to Beijing next time!

Tips: Every time I get a call from someone who wants to come and have a drink with me, I always agree that it’s okay, but wait until I go back. I just arrived in Zhengzhou (I casually mentioned the one closest to them) City!), I’m going to stay in a hotel, and I’m here to pay for it. I can’t decide when I’ll go back. The boss said I’ll go back when I’m done...

If it were me, this wouldn’t be the case. It's very simple, just refuse!

First of all, the famous scenic spots in the capital of Beijing are all familiar to people. Well, modern transportation makes it very convenient to go wherever you want; for food, needless to say, there are only things you can't think of, and there is nothing you can't eat; for accommodation, it's not a problem, you can choose between high, medium or low-end according to the money in your pocket.

Not to mention that we haven’t had much contact in the past few years, and we were not very familiar with each other as classmates before. He said that it would be fine if I live directly in Beijing, and he also wanted me to go shopping with him. This was obviously force. The imperative is a disguised form of robbing and tormenting people. My next answer will be direct, without detours, and I won’t tell lies about things like bad work, busy work, or overtime work...

Tell him bluntly:

My house is big enough. It’s okay for three or five people to live in it temporarily. But the problem is that I’m mysophobic and like to be clean. Not to mention my classmates, except for my parents, even my relatives won’t let me in. Live at home.

You want me to go shopping with you. I work on weekdays, and on weekends I have to climb the grid and answer questions, so I don’t have time to go shopping with you. Besides, I’ve visited all the scenic spots in Beijing, so there’s no need to go shopping with you. It takes me time and energy to make another trip; if you don’t know the place, you can search it on Baidu. If you don’t know the direction, you can use your mobile phone to navigate. It’s more convenient to take a taxi (Didi).

You asked me to book a hotel for you, but I don’t know which hotel is more suitable for you? Ordering inappropriately can also make you unhappy.

There are so many hotels in Beijing. You can search a lot of them online. You can book them in advance and stay wherever you want. You can be free...

Please let me know when you leave. I will do my best to be a classmate and a landlord. , treat me to a meal and see him off!

Tell the truth and don’t be sloppy.

I travel by myself and never call my relatives, friends or classmates. First, I don’t want to cause unnecessary trouble to others; second, asking others to accompany me on the tour will increase the pace of conversation, which makes me easily distracted and cannot concentrate on sightseeing; third, I am tired after a day of playing, and I have to talk to others Dining together during social events makes others tired and you are tired too. Just to get a little advantage or vanity, as if you are so important in the eyes of others, you are deceiving yourself and others, and the gain outweighs the loss.

If you want to refuse, just say directly that you are busy at work and will not accompany you.

You are very welcome to come to Beijing, but I am not at home on a business trip right now. Sorry, I can't accompany you.

My cousin works in Beijing. Once a relative visited Beijing and contacted him. The cousin was very down-to-earth and enthusiastic. He arranged hotel accommodation for him and paid for a few days' rent in advance. We accompany him for meals, but we don't accompany him for outings because he is too busy at work. As a result, when the relative left, he didn't even say hello, and he also took away the deposit paid by his cousin in the hotel. Only after his cousin called him did he find out that he had left. The cousin was speechless for a moment.

You don’t need to be too polite or soft-hearted towards such people, and your skin can’t be too thin, otherwise you will have to suffer a lot for saving face, and you may not be able to get a good outcome in the end. There are too many lessons like this.

How enthusiastic you are, how disappointed you are. Let alone someone who hasn’t contacted you in years. We haven’t contacted each other for how many years. When we came to play, we remembered our classmates? Sorry no time.

Come to play? OK, Beijing welcomes you! stay? There are hotels. If you are not familiar with them, I can recommend them to you. How to play? I will send you detailed travel guide. Have a meal together? I'm so busy these days. I'm really sorry that I won't delay your visit. Say hello to me when you leave. If I have time, I will see you off and serve you a farewell drink.

It is said that human relationships are as thin as paper nowadays. In fact, it is not that everyone is collectively indifferent. It is really hurt by many unconscious people.

Everyone is very busy at work, how can I have so much time to play with you? If you're not careful and you end up making remarks about poor hospitality, let's save it.

Just refuse him outright, just say that you are in love and live with your girlfriend, and it is inconvenient for him to come to your place. Since the other party's behavior makes you very uncomfortable, then don't hesitate. Why should you wrong yourself to help the other party? Why does he have such an attitude when asking for help?

Is face so important? Anyway, you haven't crossed paths for several years, and you're not living well, and you're not friends you can't let go of, so it's no big deal. If you don’t know how to say no, how can you say no if he offers you food, drink, and fun? This kind of person just takes advantage of everything and feels like he is the master.

For rude people, there is no need to show mercy, just say it is inconvenient.

How should I refuse when a classmate who I haven’t contacted for many years suddenly contacts me and wants to come to Beijing to hang out with me for a few days? I have personal experience with the questioner's situation. Sometimes it's really hard to say no. Say no. Your friends will think you are stingy. If you don’t refuse, time and experience won’t allow it. In your case, it depends on the person. If you feel that this friend is worthy of your deep friendship. It's still something to consider, after all, it doesn't happen often. I think they were too embarrassed to speak, but they mustered up the courage to make the decision to come to you. If he is the kind of person who just wants to find you free food, accommodation and entertainment, his character is probably not much better. If you can refuse, just refuse, just say that you are on a business trip or something like that. Sometimes learning to say no is not necessarily a bad thing. Once I agree to take you out to eat, drink and play, it's okay if the food is fun and fun. If there is too much to do, you can eat, drink and play for free. They will also blame us for being stingy and not taking good care of them. That would be more embarrassing. It's better not to deal with them. A person who truly regards you as a friend will think of you and be afraid of troublesome things. We will not proactively contact you to provide accommodation or meals.

We haven’t contacted each other for many years, and we no longer have any friendship. I still refused because I was on a business trip.

This way he won't contact you again in the future.

Are there still such people today? It's really rare. I remember watching many movies and TV shows before. After a Beijing drifter establishes himself in Beijing, he will become the Beijing Office of his hometown. Many relatives and friends came, and he was asked to receive them for travel and register for medical treatment. This feels very far away from modern society, because modern people have a polite sense of distance. Even classmates cannot live in other people's homes! It’s even more unreliable to have someone accompany you when you go shopping! If in the era before navigation, I didn’t know the way, I still had an excuse. Now that navigation is so convenient, wouldn’t it be enough to just guide it by myself?

I think as living standards improve, people's sense of privacy becomes stronger and stronger. Not to mention your home, don't even sit in someone else's car, because there will be many personal belongings in their car, such as a seat for your wife, cosmetics, and your own snacks. If you just sit in someone else's car, My wife’s special seat, how embarrassing! Therefore, modern people should understand this sense of distance. Private cars cannot easily enter, and private houses cannot easily enter. This is a question of politeness and common sense!

Therefore, I feel that if there are students who really want to make such a request, they are either pretending to be confused or they are really ignorant. For both reasons, I think you need to reject him head-on. There's no need to make excuses or pretend to be busy. That way, it won't be good to let him know in the future. Let me make it clear that if you ask me to help you introduce the tourist attractions in Beijing, there is no problem, but if you want to live in our house, it is absolutely not possible. As for free accommodation, I don't have the ability to find it. I can find a cheaper hotel for you.

As for walking with him, you should also consider what is appropriate based on your own strength. For example, you have a car and your work is not so stressful. You can act as his driver appropriately, drive your own car, take him around Beijing, and treat him to some Beijing specialties depending on the situation. If your strength is limited and you don’t even have a car, there’s no need to pretend to be fat! Meet politely and explain your situation, don't be embarrassed, because there are many ordinary people living in Beijing. If you don't say that you will become famous when you come to Beijing, then don't all the people from the country come to Beijing!

Answer: If you don’t know how to refuse, you don’t know how to own. When you burn incense and worship the Buddha, you have to make offerings to it every day. These are the people who crave the Buddha temporarily. If you don’t contact me for the rest of your life, you’ll contact me when something happens. You can always contact me by phone or WeChat or just say hello. If something comes up, it will come. Since you don’t want to receive it, just say that you are not in Beijing anymore. I want to play with you for a few days. If I don’t have tens of thousands of dollars, I still want a few thousand dollars. No one’s money comes from the strong wind. The whole process of eating, drinking and having fun is itself a bottomless pit. This is not the time to be ruthless and have your own choices. It means that I go there by myself, never disturb others, and spend my own money with peace of mind. Don't let others suffer when you disturb them, otherwise you will feel bad!