What is the saying that the wife is one year older and the husband is one year older?

"The new wife should avoid entering the door, and she will quarrel when she encounters a hot face" is a pure rural proverb, which is literally not difficult to understand. In terms of folklore, it is not difficult for people who have experienced this custom in the past to understand this proverb, but now the rural times have changed, and this custom basically does not exist, which is difficult for some young people who have not experienced this kind of thing to understand.

The taboo customs of "avoiding for a while" and "avoiding" are different in terms of folklore, and their folk connotation is also different to some extent. The following have to be introduced separately.

1. Who needs to avoid when the rural bride enters the door?

In the past, on the wedding day, the bride was married to the groom's house by the bride-taking team. There were a series of customs when she entered the house. I won't go into details about other customs here. I just want to talk about the customs of who can't be present at the scene and who must be avoided when the bride enters the house.

The taboo for brides to avoid entering the door is somewhat different in rural areas and different local customs. "Different customs in ten miles, different winds in a hundred miles", there are unique customs in different places. This paper introduces the customs that were popular in rural areas in the past. There are mainly four kinds of people who need to avoid when marrying the bride into the house.

First, pregnant women. In rural areas, when the bride walks in the door, there are two ways for pregnant women to avoid it. There is a saying that rural people think that pregnant women are usually forbidden to visit, that is to say, even ordinary people's doors are not allowed in, even if there is a happy event at home, or there is something white at home. To put it another way, it is also a happy event for a woman to be pregnant and say that she is "happy". However, compared with marriage, pregnancy can only be regarded as a small happy event, and marriage is a happy event for others, which is called "wedding joy". According to the rural popular belief, exultation is often outweighed by exultation. Therefore, Xiao Xi can't bump into exultation, otherwise Xiao Xi will be washed away by exultation. According to the rural saying in the past, it is easy for pregnant women to miscarry when they bump into the bride who enters the door.

This is a new saying in the countryside in the past. Now the countryside no longer believes this saying, and weddings, funerals and weddings are no longer taboo. However, from another point of view, the level of medical technology in the past was limited. I was afraid that during pregnancy, women would be shocked and frightened by external forces, or be too excited or sad, and they would easily move "fetal gas" and cause miscarriage. Therefore, pregnant women are generally allowed to stay at home, and are not allowed to visit, let alone go to places where people are noisy and busy, just in case.

Now, in some public places, we should be polite when we see pregnant women, and we should not bump into them. This is the proper protection for pregnant women. Of course, pregnant women should also have a sense of protection and not go to unsafe places.

second. In the past, in rural areas, the bride was forbidden to be present when she entered the door. Generally speaking, it refers to the young and middle-aged. If she is old, or if she is married, she is not taboo. In the past, this custom was mainly a psychological function and a kind of psychology caused by people's association. Marriage is a great event in life, and everyone hopes to have a good sign. In addition, in many places in rural areas, it is not allowed to enter the wedding bridal chamber on the day of marriage, and in some places, it is just not allowed to sit on the wedding bed, which is also a psychological effect. This is also a good wish of rural people who want newlyweds to grow old together after marriage.

Third, people who are filial or not. In the past, there was a saying in the countryside that "people do not come to their homes for filial piety". According to some local sayings, when an old man has recently died and is still in Dai Xiao, he is generally not allowed to go to other people's doors, let alone to their wedding places. This is not limited to not meeting the bride when she enters the door, but the whole wedding is not allowed to attend.

There are different customs of "fervent filial piety" and "Dai Xiao" in different places. In some places, the time limit is three days after sending the elderly out, in some places it is seven days, and in others it is one month, forty-nine days, one hundred days and three years.

People think that when the bride walks in the door, if such a person is present, it will be unlucky and make her feel bad. This is also a psychological effect. People are having a wedding, and suddenly there are people from Dai Xiao. The newlyweds and their families must be uncomfortable. Wedding is a major event in life, and neighbors and relatives should congratulate them. These people usually have human relations. Therefore, although these people during the period of mourning can't go to the door to congratulate them, they still have human relations. Generally, they are allowed to be conveyed by others. There is nothing taboo in doing so.

Fourth, newly married couples

Newly married couples can't bump into each other when others get married, and the bride can't bump into each other when she walks in the door. Generally speaking, this custom is some local customs, that is, some places have this kind of attention, while some places do not. With this exquisite place, not only can the bride not bump into each other when she enters the door, but she can't attend the whole wedding.

Different places have different rules about the time of the word "recent". Some places are one month, some places are three months, and some places are within 1 days.

Where there is such a custom, it is said that if newlyweds go to other people's weddings, it is commonly called "bigamy", so it is taboo. This is also caused by a psychological factor, a new saying. However, since there is such a custom, we must respect the wishes of others so as not to leave a psychological shadow on others.

2. As the saying goes, "avoiding" is a local custom of "avoiding the bride".

The four kinds of people mentioned in the previous section need to avoid when the bride enters the door. Are they the people who need to "avoid" in the saying that "the new wife should avoid when she enters the door, and she will quarrel when she meets a hot face"? Of course not. The four kinds of people mentioned in the last section are mainly considered "unlucky", so they are not suitable for bumping into each other's parents who enter the door. As the saying goes, it is a completely different custom from the one mentioned above, that is, "hiding from the bride".

Generally speaking, this local custom is popular in Hubei and Hunan, the land of ancient Chu, and some surrounding areas. This proverb comes from these places. There are similar sayings in other places. "Get out of the way" means to get out of the way, that is, some people have to get out of the way and can't meet the bride from the time she enters the house until she is sent to the new house (bridal chamber). After the bride entered the new house, these people used to hide. The gate here generally refers to the gate of the yard, and if there is no gate, it refers to the scope of the house. In the past, most people in rural areas of Hubei and Hunan did not build fences, so there was no yard gate. In order to make readers better understand this custom of "hiding from the bride", I have to shake a few words here to introduce the marriage customs in these places so as not to cause misunderstanding.

according to these local customs, the bride should enter the house before noon (that is, from 11: to now), and she should not enter the house after noon (local customs, only remarried women can enter the house after noon). In the past, there was a custom of paying homage to the church in rural areas, and the time of paying homage to the church could not be arranged at noon, or before or after noon. Generally speaking, most of the worship time is arranged after noon.

Therefore, after the bride enters the house, she will be sent directly to the new house. The bride needs to have a rest time, and the groom needs to dress up (with special dress etiquette). It's time to pay homage, and then greet the bride from the new house, pay homage in the hall, and then send her to the new house.

according to local customs, the bride can be sent to the new house only by attending the worship of heaven and earth, parents and husband and wife, and the elders of all the remaining families and relatives leave the groom alone to worship. In the past, in rural areas, it was necessary to pay homage to the elders of the family and relatives, because when the family and relatives came to the wedding banquet, the gift money was divided into two parts, a small part of which was recorded in the gift book, commonly known as the "wine gift", and most of them were given to the groom when he was groom, commonly known as the "gift".

So, who needs to "hide" when the bride walks in the door?

this custom of "hiding from the bride" is also "different customs in ten miles, changing rules in five miles". The scope of personnel varies from place to place. In some places, the groom's parents, siblings (except those who are married) and sisters-in-law (except those who go to meet their relatives) have to "hide from the bride", in some places, parents and sisters-in-law only need to hide, and in other places, mothers and sisters-in-law only need to hide.

No matter what kind of "hiding from the bride" means above, there are the mother and sister-in-law of the groom. In other words, others don't have to hide, and the groom's mother and sister-in-law have to hide. In the past, in most places in reality, only the mother and sister-in-law of the groom escaped, and they were not very strict with others. Why is this?

The second half of the saying "We have to quarrel when we meet a hot face" tells the "consequences" of family members colliding with the bride.

The proverb "hot face" refers to the bride. Even if the bride is covered with a red veil, the bride can't see others when she enters the door, and she can't see the bride's face, which is also called "hot face". However, in the old days, in the rural areas around Hubei and Hunan, hijab brides were only a very small part, that is, the family was relatively rich, so we should pay attention to it. Most ordinary people generally don't pay attention to hijab, but only have someone to hold a red oiled paper umbrella for the bride and hang a mirror on their chest. Therefore, in the old days, most brides in rural areas were able to see their faces when they entered the door, which was why they were called "hot faces".

3. What's the matter with "quarreling when you meet a hot face"?

According to the saying that there is a place to hide from the bride, except the groom, sister-in-law, brothers and sisters who are welcoming the bride, other people at home must hide when the bride enters the door, so they can't bump into the bride, that is, they can't "bump into" the bride. It is said that if the bride collides with the bride when she enters the door, it is easy to quarrel with the bride often when she lives together in the future, so that the family will not be noisy. Therefore, in some places, "hiding from the bride" is also called "hiding from the quarrel".

From the perspective of young people now, the custom of "hiding from the bride" in some rural areas in the past is a bit absurd. Does the life after the bride and groom conflict with family members, and what does it have to do with "hiding from the bride"?

Generally speaking, conflicts between family members are very complicated, including personal character problems, family style and family education problems, and also have a lot to do with family economic situation, and so on, which has nothing to do with "hiding from the bride".

However, any rural proverb has its historical background. In the traditional family culture of China's farming era, "family harmony" is emphasized, and there is a saying that "family and everything prosper", and there is also a saying that "brothers do not bully their neighbors, and they will not bully their neighbors". On the surface, the phrase "I have to quarrel when I meet a hot face" is idealistic, but in essence, it is the crystallization of wisdom in the long-term life of rural people.

it's male power, and male power is above everything else, which means that men have to bear more family responsibilities. Therefore, in the old days, people emphasized whether the family was harmonious, mainly about whether the brothers were harmonious and whether the father and son were harmonious. Although women's status was very low at that time, they didn't take women seriously. In real life, women's role and status in the family should not be underestimated, and their influence on the family should not be underestimated. Women are a part of family life.

In fact, in the old rural family, the harmony between father and son and brother mainly depends on how the family handles the relationship between mother-in-law and sister-in-law, and the relationship between mother-in-law and sister-in-law is handled properly, so outsiders (including married sister-in-law and elder sister-in-law, also known as outsiders in the old days) can take advantage of it.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is particularly important. Since ancient times, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a big problem that rural families cannot solve, and it is also a university question.

In the old days, after the daughter-in-law entered the house, her mother-in-law often had a condescending mentality. They thought that since she entered my house, she had to follow my family's rules and habits and accept her mother-in-law's instruction. The daughter-in-law thinks that the rules and habits of my mother's family are very good. Why should I do what my mother-in-law says? In this way, there will inevitably be opposition and contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law tolerate and understand each other, the relationship will be handled properly. If mother-in-law and daughter-in-law haggle over everything, their relationship will be deadlocked. If you say something and I defend it, they will quarrel, which is what people usually call "quarrel".

how to deal with the relationship between new daughter-in-law and family members? This is also a question that I have been thinking about in the old days.

The custom design of "hiding from the bride" is actually to warn people that a family, a new daughter-in-law or other family members should not be rigid in front of a "hot face", which will intensify contradictions. When something happens, they should learn to take a step back, that is, they should know how to "avoid it", and they should not be determined by their temper. This is the saying that "a new wife should avoid entering the door and quarrel when she encounters a hot face", which has a real folk meaning.

Great changes have taken place in the rural family structure. In the past, there were very few big families living under the same roof. From a big family with more brothers and sisters, it has become a small family with fewer brothers and sisters; From the past, the vast majority of people made a living by farming, and it has become a diversified occupation for most people. However, as long as the family still exists, family conflicts will exist. How to deal with family conflicts and get along well with family members is still a university question.

The above is the content related to paying attention to the wife who is one year older, and it is about the sharing of marriage. After reading what my husband said about being one year older, I hope this will help everyone!