Ask for some funny life dramas (3 to 5 people)

"Did you steal food today?" Sketch script author: Xiaoyu shooting location: vegetable field

Character: A B C D E

Props: toy dog, cabbage, radish.

A play

A: Hello everyone! Why don't you tell me what happened this year? This trip is becoming more and more inconvenient! Driving, the oil has gone up; Go, be robbed; Take the bus and catch fire; Taking the subway is a rear-end collision; By train, it derailed; Let's take a plane and fall into the sea ... so that everyone is afraid to go out. What shall we do? Grow vegetables at home! Growing vegetables can not only harvest rich wealth, but also make up for spiritual loneliness! It can be said that it is a double harvest of material and spirit, so why not! Set a catchphrase: I don't grow vegetables, I am lonely! Check the time. It is getting late. It's almost time to work in the fields. Nowadays, more people grow vegetables and steal them. In order to prevent vegetable thieves, I specially raised a sheepdog. I want those restless thieves to die ... When they saw the dog lying on the ground, they jumped on Wang Cai ... Wang Cai ... What happened to you? Wang Cai, you can't die. Wang Cai, you have been with me for so many days, and you are affectionate and sincere to me. But now I haven't even let you eat a full meal. Sorry, Wang Cai! Hum with tears, it must be the vegetable thief who bears a grudge and deliberately poisons you! I want to find out who did it, and then cut him to pieces! Left with the dog. ...

The music started and B came out.

B: "1234, mm-hmm, take it, mm-hmm, have fun! Yes, stealing, stealing, yes, it hurts! Please send mine back to me. If you eat mine, help me spit it out. There are records in QQ farm. You'd better not cheat! Give me back what you owe me and give me what you stole. As long as you steal my food, it will be recorded! Alas ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Xi shua shua ... "Yesterday afternoon, I stayed in the wild all afternoon. Seeing that my radish is about to ripen, I suddenly have diarrhea! I couldn't hold it any longer, so I went to the toilet. When I came back, I saw that all the radishes in the field had been washed! What a tragedy ~ ~ ~ I saw that my tears were like a torrent, like the Yellow River flooding out of control! Well, as the saying goes, if people don't steal from me, I won't steal from others. If someone steals from me, I will steal from others! Farmers who don't want to steal vegetables are not good farmers! I'm going to steal all the food I lost yesterday tonight!

Go to vegetable fields

B: I thought it was a good time to steal food in the middle of the night. After a big turn, only this land is ripe! Alas, farmers are really smart now. Since we found that the crime rate of stealing vegetables in the middle of the night has soared, in order to reduce losses and prevent being stolen, we have calculated the time and planted things. This conscience is not generally bad, it is quite bad! Look at the time, 10 minutes will be ripe, so we have to wait first! Squat down to the edge of the field until the food is ready.

Percussion played and C came out.

I live in the south of Chengdu. I have no house or land at home. Life is endless! Since I have a daughter-in-law, life is even more miserable! She thought my family was poor and had no money, so I wanted to reason with her, and she hit me with one punch! In desperation, I had to steal vegetables to make money. I met the watchdog again. I was cruel and heartless. I was bitten by him a hundred times, a hundred times! I remember this hatred, and it's not * * *! ! ! Hum!

This is home. I stole vegetables yesterday, but I didn't steal them. My dog bit off 50 yuan. When I got back, I was scolded by my daughter-in-law and knelt on the motherboard all night! In order to get revenge, I secretly poisoned the stupid dog with the first strange poison in the world-"I will die in one day!" " Probably dead by now! Haha, I won't steal his money today, I swear I won't be a thief!

Looking around, I don't see any dogs.

C: what about dogs? It seems really dead! Now I'm relieved! Hey hey! Little snickered twice. Look at the watch, it will be cooked in 3 minutes. Then you can ... rub your hands and giggle, go to the field, squat down and wait, and watch b Hey, buddy, steal food?

B: Wow, big brother, are you still called the panda warrior with this makeup? Give me some professionalism, will you? You see, these dark circles are purple, and you look like you are wearing two rice cakes on your head. Going out to eat costs some money! We vegetable thieves should also pay attention to the image! Image, understand? It's packaging! You don't dress up as a good citizen, and you can't pretend to be a panda warrior!

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll pay attention next time!

B: Just shake hands and let me know. Next time you come out to steal food, you must dress professionally. Don't lose our image as a vegetable thief!

C: Well, ok!

B: Come on, I'll tell you how to pack your image! They squatted down together, gesticulating and talking about packaging.

D and e on stage

E: "Only you can accompany me to steal vegetables, only you can cover my escape, only you can protect me, so that the evil dog will never bite me, that is, only you … oh, oh, only …"

E punched in.

D: "Fuck you! Is that all you got to say I told you not to follow me, you are still there. Oh! I can't stand completely ignoring people, and you will kill you again! "

E: You are the only one who can steal food with me! Because only you run slower than me every time, the dog will only bite you, not me!

Your abacus is really clever ... you found a piece of land in the vegetable field! Go and see!

D and e are close to vegetable fields.

E: Wow, 1 It will be cooked in half a minute!

D: Stop nagging and get ready to steal food! Today, we return home with a full load! Ha ha!

B and c are both eyeing them!

Oh, there are two like-minded people! Why do you look so dignified? What's so unhappy about it? Say it and make everyone happy!

B: There are also two vegetable thieves. I don't think this dish is enough

C: Why don't we wipe their throats first?

D: Don't blame me for being too frank! With this, you rotten sweet potatoes and rotten eggs, trying to take my life is too serious! ! ! ! Take a cynical attitude towards life.

B and c are going to go up and hit him, and e will pull them away.

E: Wait a minute, wait a minute. We want to steal vegetables. This is just an idea. It hasn't happened yet, and you have no proof. What is our sin? It's not too late to convict us after we stole food and you have proof!

B: That's right. Let's stay and see!

D: Stop arguing, the food is almost cooked!

Look at all the watches.

b、C、D、E:5，4，3，2， 1，0！ When the vegetables are cooked, steal them!

Each buried himself in stealing vegetables, and E picked up a big radish.

E: Wow, you really earned such a crystal clear and incomparable radish!

Come up and catch it.

Do you want it? If you want it, just say it. How can I know what you want if you don't tell me? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want. Do you really want it? Then you can take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it?

One punch in the past, grabbing food, E was knocked unconscious.

D: You don't know why flowers are so red unless your mother-in-law talks all day.

B, c: the world is quiet! Tall! Give me a thumbs up and praise me.

Keep stealing vegetables.

B: Look, beauty! Point far away

C, D: Where ~ Where ~ Keep looking, B is burying his head in grabbing food.

C, d, come to my senses

C, D: That kid fucked me! Whispering, continue to steal to eat.

Look, the dog is coming!

B, C looked around, D grabbed the food.

B, C: Where? Where is it? !

B, c, come to my senses

That kid fucked me! Whispering, continue to steal to eat.

A appeared, E woke up, sat up and found A, exclaiming.

Look, the farmers are coming!

B, d: I don't think so. It's all the rest of our play! Get a fresh one! Continue to steal vegetables

A: Well, you vegetable thieves even organized a gang to steal vegetables today.

B, C, D, E: No, run, pick up the food and run!

Did you run away? Don't move. Help me put the food down ... a chase it out, and then take a group curtain call.

Xiao Dan: Well, it's been more than ten years since I graduated from college. It's hard for my classmates to meet each other in those years. Some of them have money, others have no money. The poor did not escape from the rich, and both the rich and the poor were speechless. Students' feelings can't be wasted, so today's class reunion is just to exchange feelings, whether drunk or not, hehe. (cleaning the house)

Noodles: Xiao Dan, why are you still busy? Cook quickly. Old classmates are coming soon. Hey, I still have to say something to you: it's not too late today. Remember that Zhao Weifeng is the focus of today's party. He is now the manager of Xin enterprise, and he is 100% rich. If we make him happy today, then we will keep the golden rice bowl, hahahaha!

Xiao Dan: Why are you so greedy? Do classmates also want to talk about money?

Noodles: Xiao Dan, why are you so ignorant? Classmates, classmates are all the same, but their studies are different. If he doesn't study hard, he won't be angry with us if he is poor. If he studies hard, his money proves that he works hard. You're like xin jing Water. This is hard to predict. You took part in many activities, but you didn't study hard. I heard that you lost your job after graduation. Now you farm at home. Why do you think this is?

Xiao Dan: Xin is also a classmate. You can't favour one over the other.

Noodles: Ah, yes, you once had an affair with the new water mirror. No wonder you have been defending him. Don't have sex in front of me, and don't blame me for making him stop eating!

Dan: You! Hum! (Angry) (Noodles sit down and read the newspaper)

Si Tong: (answers the phone) Outside! I am Zhao Weifeng. Oh, manager Xin, don't worry about coming to the chop suey's house for reunion. I'll make it clear. Goodbye!

Open the door!

Noodles: Here we are. Hello. Who are you?

Stone: I'm Zhao Weifeng!

Big miscellaneous noodles: Feng Wei, alas! (Hugging) I miss you so much. We have not seen each other for ten years. I miss you so much! How is your mother?

Si Tong: Not bad!

Noodles: How is your father?

Si Tong: Not bad!

Noodles: Is everything all right at home?

Si Tong: Not bad!

(Xiao Dan comes out)

Xiao Dan: Oh, dear! Small stone!

Si Tong: Huh? Who are you?

Bedding face: small stone? Hey? This is manager Zhao Weifeng. How could you? ...

Xiao Dan: Ah, it's Manager Zhao. Sit down and talk!

(Zhao Weifeng's cell phone rings, answer the phone)

Stone: Outside, Manager Xin! What? Ok, I'll be right there!

Old classmate, my company has something to leave at once, okay? Let's get together again sometime!

(Zhao Weifeng)

Mixed noodles: it's over, it's over, he's gone, what else is there in this reunion? Jiaozi, come and have tea!

(Go ahead, knock at the door)

Xiao Dan: Who is it?

Laoganba: Me!

Xiao Dan: Old Gamba?

Old Gamba: Dan? Be in favor of

Xiao Dan: Yes!

Noodles: Who is Xiao Dan?

Xiao Dan: Come in, old chap! Yan Jun, look who's here.

Noodles: Ah, send the gas tank and put it inside!

Xiao Dan: He looks like an old classmate of ours.

Big noodles: old dry bar? Which old guy?

Old Gamba: Don't you know me? Noodles? You forgot me, I remember you!

Noodles: My name is Zhang Junyan, not noodles. Sit in it (disdainfully).

Xiao Dan: (holding the hand of the old dry bar) What are you doing now, old dry bar? I haven't seen you for a long time.

Laoganba: Ah, mine. ...

Noodles: Cough! Xiao Dan, you go and boil some water!

Laoganba: Big noodles! No, Zhang Junyan, what are you doing now?

Noodles: Ah, nothing! Just a few small projects!

Old Gamba: What event?

Bedding face: Ah, nothing, just heating the Polaris, shallowing the Pacific Ocean, cloning a North Korea, and then filling the black hole.

Laoganba: Eh! Then you are quite busy!

Noodles: Hehe, just so-so! What are you writing, old classmate?

Laoganba: Compared with you, I am far from encouraging crops all day.

Face: (proud) Nothing, I can handle one or two thousand a year!

Laoganba: No, it's only eight or nine hundred-ten thousand a year!

Noodles: Ah, eight or nine hundred? Wan? I'm not saying you're an old man. What are you bragging about with me? Ah, we were all from the countryside. Who doesn't know how much money we earn a year, huh? Do you have any difficulties to come to me? What are you pretending? Not that I can't help you. I have hundreds of thousands of family businesses now, and there are several bicycles alone. The' 89 can be pushed later. It's okay. Don't always get tired of walking. Ride it!

Old Gamba: Well, I'm not leaving!

Noodles: Riding a donkey? That thing is more tired and painful, and it is not as good as a bicycle!

Laoganba: No. ...

(Xiao Dan)

Xiao Dan: What are you talking about? Come and drink water!

Noodles: Xiao Dan, take some of our rags to the old bar. It is too expensive to buy clothes.

Xiao Dan: Hey!

(Xiao Dan takes out a dress)

Noodles: Are you taking my clothes?

Xiao Dan: Then you won't tell the veteran cadres, will you?

Noodles: I'm talking about those you stuffed in the heating hole!

Dan: Can I still wear it?

Noodles: Can he still think of us, old Gamba?

Laoganba: Nothing, old classmates, always old classmates!

Xiao Dan: Fuck, haven't you eaten yet?

Noodles: Yes! Why don't people eat when they are old and shriveled? Besides, the vegetable oil in our house is too big. Can the old dry bus get used to it? What should I do if I have diarrhea in the future? Pack some steamed buns for the old Ganba to take away. Maybe the old Ganba is in a hurry!

Xiao Dan: Zhang Junyan, are you going a little too far?

Go ahead: Well, that's all right, Xiao Dan. Yan Jun, you are busy. I'll go first!

(Zhao Weifeng knocks at the door)

Noodles: Who is this? Stop.

(Open the door)

Noodles: Hey! Feng Wei! Oh, you miss me so much. That's great. Xiao Dan does it quickly. Don't go today. Stay here!

Stone: No, our director is here, isn't he?

Bedding face: director? Don't!

Old Gamba: (Come here) Stone, is everything done?

Stone: Brother Xin, it's done. Foreign direct funding of 20 million!

Laoganba: OK, let's go!

Noodles: Brother Xin! Oh, I miss you so much! Great, Xiao Dan, let's buy seafood. Brother Xin, don't go today. I will book you a hotel! Hey, make Longjing for Brother Xin. What are you doing with this rag? Brother Xin, sit down!

Old Gamba: Military vocabulary …

Noodles: Brother Xin, please call me Noodles Sample!

Old Gamba: Do you remember when you used to order noodles? Do you remember how your name came from?

Big mixed noodles: of course, my family was poor when I was a child. I take cornmeal to school every day. My classmates call me Da Mian, but no one looks down on me. They all came to help me!

Laogan Dad: At that time, I took a sugar steamed bun to school every day, and it was used to make your mixed noodles every time. It's not that I like to eat miscellaneous noodles, but I want you to know that there are feelings besides money in the world! Jun Yan, can you treat President Xin to seafood, stay in a hotel, and not even stay for a while? Old classmates, old classmates, even if we have more money, we can't forget our old classmates!

Bedding face: Go ahead! Whoo-

That's all for now. \ Tell me if it's not good.