Funny personality: I don't accept junk, so I can't let you be on call.

1 I want to be good friends with girls. It's simple. Tell her. Soon you will hear her say: We are still good friends.

You know how brave I need to dial your number, but did you turn it off?

When I grow up, I want to marry Tang Priest. If I can play, I will eat him, if I can't.

Carve loneliness on the bottle and drink it into the bladder. Pee out and let loneliness spill all over the floor.

There is only one channel in my heart, and the most hateful thing is that there is no advertisement yet.

When we fight the landlord, a deck of cards has a mistress, so we play first.

You are calm because you are not afraid of death, and I am calmer than you because I am not afraid of your death.

I like your eyes moving, and your laughter is more charming.

We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn stone into gold, and I want her to treat gold like dirt!

10 gives you the greatest revenge, that is, living happier than you.

1 1 remember; If someone says that money can't buy happiness, he just doesn't know where to buy it yet.

12 likes and fears.

13 I asked someone to ask for it for you. There is still room in hell. You can go directly.

14 Don't call me a house girl, please call me Madame Curie! -

15 artificial intelligence and natural stupidity cannot be compared-because we advocate pure nature.

16 the day you left, I decided not to cry. I braved the wind and tried not to blink.

17 Your shortness is lifelong, and my obesity is temporary.

18 people's peach blossom luck, like the physiological cycle, is bursting.

19 Valentine's Day is actually very short. When one hand is pulled and released, the lover is gone.

In front of you, my world is black and white. After meeting you, my world was completely dark.

2 1 said that men have gold under their knees, so I chopped off my legs and couldn't even find copper.

When others walk without shoes, run quickly. . .

If you don't sleep, Duke Zhou will close the door soon.

I have never been an elegant person, just a slut in my twilight years.

The happiest thing is to see others unhappy, and the most unhappy thing is to see others happy. ...

There is nothing wrong with reunion, and breaking up is also a pair.

It's not terrible to meet a group of hooligans on the Internet. The terrible thing is to encounter a bunch of rogue software.

I'm not a bone. I can't let every dog run after me. ..

The most tragic thing in life: when you are with the person you love the most, you don't expect that there is another man hiding under her bed.

The nature of parent-teacher conference is the same as that of mistress, aiming at destroying family harmony.

3 1 force is used to grow grass, but why do so many people use it to install it?

Live a carefree life with indifference.

I'm not a straw boat. Don't send your bitch to me.

Brother 34 doesn't accept junk, so you can't be on call.

When in a good mood, you can listen to everything with trepidation; When in a bad mood, you can listen to everything with trepidation.

Between relatives, talking about money hurts feelings; Between lovers, talking about feelings hurts money.

I don't collect junk. Tell me about it.

If you are the one, if the female guest turns off the man's light again, the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can turn off the whole floor.

10 years ago in September 1 day, I danced with my small schoolbag on my back and walked into the school with a big smile on my eyes. Since then, I have embarked on a road of no return.

Don't flirt with me, or I will be rude to you. . .

Seen, pursued, liked, happy, soon, tired, quarreled, faded, and broke up.

Don't think I am out of reach just because I am handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers.

Today the weather is fine, windy and rainy.

Don't ask me questions. Baidu knows more than I do. Ask him if you have any questions!

Men who go home early tell stories to their wives; Men who come home late make up stories for their wives.

You're amazing. Why don't you have a picture in Tiananmen Square?

If meanness is also a disease, then even if Hua Tuo is alive, he can't save me!

A buddy told me that he gives out bottles every day. It's all "one more bottle"

If I pass you on the road and don't say hello, it's not because I pretend to be arrogant, but because I don't wear glasses.

Since I got crazy, I found myself with a new spirit.

Once, I walked on the road without glasses and saw a very handsome and familiar person, so I took a closer look and found that, ah, it was just a mirror.

You are calm because you are not afraid of death, and I am calm because I am not afraid of death.

Members and yellow diamonds are all ten dollars. Who are you to say that being a member is more advanced than being a yellow diamond?

No regret medicine, only rat poison.

It's a truth to give a penny to a policeman when he finds it on the roadside. But the change of ten dollars is beyond the scope of principle.

Be a woman in the new era of China: get into the hall, get out of the kitchen, write codes, find anomalies, kill Trojan horses, climb over the fence, drive a good car, afford a new house, fight for mistresses and beat hooligans.

I don't accept garbage, so I can't let you call me whenever you want!

Don't compare people with dogs. Dogs are at least loyal.

I like you, which is none of your business!

When love comes to an end, even farting can be a reason to break up.

The person in my life hasn't appeared, so I will buy a ticket to heaven tomorrow and have a good talk with Yue Lao.

Is there anyone like me who always goes east, west, north, south, left, west, right and east, and then understands the direction? ...

Whenever I see a cheap and good person, I will silently lower my head. It is not that I have quality, but that I am looking for bricks.

It's not your fault that you are ugly. It's just that God took a nap. You should have the courage to face everything.

What happens when sleeping pills and laxatives are taken together?

Looking at a temple from a distance, we can see our alma mater, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10 thousand old roads.

So shameless and heartless, your weight should be very light.

I don't believe in love at first sight If that skin is not beautiful, no one will fall in love at first sight. These four words are too hypocritical to see people.

Once upon a time someone didn't love me. Finally. He's dead.

I have a stomachache and feel like vomiting today. There was an exam in the afternoon, and halfway through the exam, I couldn't help throwing up. The teacher came over and said with concern, "Why, the question is disgusting?" "

You are good at playing with your mind at the beginning of your life, so get out. . .

After breaking up, I want nothing. I just hope that every woman in your future is not as good as one. . .

The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in eight words: spring sleep, summer fatigue, autumn sleep and hibernation.

A member's roaming chat record has destroyed many couples and seen through many people. . .

Mom told me: If your father bullies you, let your grandfather take him away.

Every time my period comes, I have the urge to donate blood.

The furthest distance in the world is from Monday to Friday.

My hobbies can be divided into two types: static and dynamic. Static means sleeping, dynamic means turning over …

In high school, we were as busy as our grandchildren, but we were as happy as NB. In college, we idled around like NB, but we couldn't find the happiness of being grandchildren. ...

Vulnerabilities and patches Qi Fei, blue screen * * * crash!

A beautiful woman who leaves without holding her body well often makes a pervert cry. . . . . .

After an English listening class, the only thing I can understand is the first few words of Chinese.

Tell my friend I want to fart, and my friend says, hold it and burp.

I don't collect junk, so don't come back after I leave.

First, I don't collect junk, so don't come back when I'm gone.

Second, miss, my proud figure is called natural beauty.

Third, you are scum, and you will never be a schoolmaster.

Fourth, don't judge me lightly. You only know my name, but you don't know my story

Without you, the earth revolves and rotates like the earth. Every morning, when we get up and look up, the sun still rises in the sky.

Sixth, instead of praying for a plain life, pray for yourself to be stronger.

Seven, shine a fart, Lao tze not a candle!

Eight, boredom is a person's feelings for the plate after eating the food on the plate.

I want you to be the happiest man and let you know that it is not wrong to choose me.

Ten, don't take my heart as a bargaining chip.

Eleven, I must live like a man, or I will be embarrassed to see jokes behind my back.

12. Softness is like a knife. Give it to others to stab yourself.

Thirteen, don't praise your sister for her beauty, she believes your mouth.

Fourteen, the long road of life, there will always be a few steps wrong.

Fifteen, I learned not to provoke others, but it doesn't mean that I was trampled on.

Sixteen, I can't tolerate a grain of sand in my eye, and I can't tolerate you.

Don't look at me from your perspective. I'm afraid you can't understand.

Eighteen, love or hate, don't give me a fucking pity!

I hold hands with you, and you can only love me in this life.

Don't go with the flow, but lead the trend.

There is no word failure in my dictionary.

22. No matter how beautiful a man is, he is still a waste without ability.

Twenty-three, the most uncomfortable thing is to listen to the person you like talk about the person you like and pretend not to care.

I want to give you all the meaning, but I'm sorry I won't love someone twice at the same time.

25 years old, I have an emotional cleanliness. If I can't have it alone, I won't.

26. Tucao is used to count money, not to make sense.

Twenty-seven, don't believe others speak ill of your friend, if you believe, what kind of friend are you!

After you left, I collected your news everywhere like a scavenger.

Twenty-nine, a good woman is a school, and a good man can stay and teach after graduation.

Thirty, I am willing to be a great scholar, I am not afraid of arts and sciences.

Thirty-one, don't praise your sister for her beauty, she believes your mouth.

Come to me if you can, or get out if you can't.

33. I loved you so much and thought about the future.

Thirty-four, failure, this word is not in my dictionary.

35. I have my own style, which you can't afford to imitate.

I do everything by myself, so I don't need your respect.

Thirty-seven, if something happens, my sister is short. Who cares?

38. Never fall in love because of loneliness.

A woman's greatest pride is not how good-looking she looks, but how much her boyfriend loves her!

Forty, loneliness is not closed, and pain is not self-pity, which is the dazzling character of beauty.

Space is funnier than funny. If you leave, don't come back. I don't collect garbage.

1, the courier company called me to pick up the courier, and I was excited for a while, because my recipient's name was copied casually in three uncommon words, just to see how embarrassed the courier brother was when he couldn't pronounce my name. However, when I saw a wily uncle sitting in a van, holding a courier in his arms and looking at me with contemptuous eyes, I asked my name and shouted the right delivery. I feel the malice of the world, and I am still too young.

2, it's so hot today, I met a beautiful woman with big breasts on the road, and her breasts were so white that I couldn't help looking at them more. I'm sorry to be found. I thought, I'm a woman, damn it. What am I afraid of? So I watched it again. It looks really good, doesn't it? ...

My son is very naughty. Last night, he wanted to play football anyway, but his wife wouldn't let him, so he insisted on studying. My son opened the door and ran downstairs. My wife grabbed my son's arm with one hand and slapped me with the other. Ho: If you don't study hard in the future, marrying a wife will be as fierce as me! My son looked at my swollen face and silently went back to reading.

My mother said to me: when you go out in the future, don't call me mom, call me sister. Me: Why? Mom smiled: That makes me look so young! Dad came to him and said, to look young, just call grandma.

When my friend was in financial crisis, he came to me to borrow money. He was a little reluctant to see me, so he immediately helped me remember the past. He said: think about it. You are too poor to buy a pair of trousers. Who lent you a skirt?

6. One day I was walking in the street and met a fortune teller, so I decided to hang up. He took my hand and suddenly fell to his knees. I was shocked. He said, you have the image of an emperor. I slapped him in the face: you fucking scared me to death!

7. if I die, my first sentence is: employers and employees finally don't have to be afraid of ghosts!

8. All the daughters-in-law have stabilized, and Lao Tzu is going to start shaking WeChat.

9. Happiness is dead. He married loneliness as a companion, and then he had a child named Memory.

10, the current efforts are all for the cow B.

1 1, the exam is not about falling in love, please don't flirt; The exam is not DOTA, please don't work as a team.

12, get out and don't come back, I'm not a rag collector.

13, let's break up, Mr. Summer vacation. Don't ask me why, because the cruel and overbearing Mr. Xue Kai wants to be nice to me.

14, a person's longest love history is probably narcissism.

15, how I wish there were only two days of classes a week, and then five days of holidays.

16, it rained twice this week, the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

17, I haven't studied for a long time, and I even hesitate to read, even if I am moved.

18, Mochow and Mo Yan are all angry. What should we do? The answer is actually simple: don't worry.

19, countdown to school, hurry up and have fun, go to school to catch up on sleep.

20. Lord Bao said to Zhan Zhao, Look at my face, and then act later. Zhan Zhao: You're fucking kidding!

2 1. Every time we start school, we will say the same thing. I must study hard this semester.

22. I have never been late since I set my alarm clock on edge and got up and rolled around every day.

23. How many children's shoes complain that the winter vacation time is too fast? That's because the school is about to start and the homework has not been finished.

24. Sometimes explanations are unnecessary-enemies don't believe your explanations, and friends don't need your explanations.

25. When the road is rough, shout and move on.

26. Love is not a refuge. If you want to take refuge, you will be kicked out.

27. Angels can fly because they despise themselves.

28. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love; we?

29. Because I love you wholeheartedly, I can only give you up mercilessly.

Rats never waste time at night, but we humans waste one-third of our time every day.

3 1, where can I find such a good person, worthy of my Qingming youth.

32, life is like toilet paper, nothing to talk as little as possible.

33. Go your own way, go your own way, and ignore the waste pointing at you behind your back!

34. It is said that once I went to an evening show with some buddies, because I went too early, and my buddies just sat there waiting. A buddy suddenly said, wow, there is Wi-Fi, so connect it quickly. Suddenly, a buddy appeared in the corner, holding the old-fashioned straight-line mobile phone and could only make a phone call. He said in surprise, really? Where is Wi-Fi? How to get it? Help me quickly. The other buddy said with a black line on his face: This Nima mobile phone is too high. You'd better play in the corner.

35. Women like men who feel safe; Men are often attracted to insecure women.

36. When going out, please remember: Be sure to return Niu B to Niu!

37. When I heard that you were trafficked, I was really scared. Although you grew up with dementia, it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to dare to sell you? I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell it!

38. There is a teacher sitting in a chair listening to a junior teacher. Teachers guide students to practice oral English by looking at pictures. Teacher's guidance: students, look carefully. What's sitting on the chair? The students said in unison: Bear! The teacher stood up angrily for class. At this time, the teacher immediately led the team: So, what is standing? Student: Donkey! The teacher left in a hurry. 23. When the oath becomes a test, feelings are only a deduction.

39. The second place is Pentium, the third is Microsoft, the fourth is Panasonic, and the fifth is Lenovo.

40. You say you are my friend, but in fact I know that animals' friends are really people.