Intimacy, marital feelings, tell me about it.

Love should be measured, and love to the extreme is to let go.

Love needs to be managed.

On March 28th, a mother and daughter fell from 1 1 building in Changchun, Jilin.

It is said that on the evening of 25th, they opened the gas tank and did something stupid, but they were rescued by firemen in time. Unexpectedly, something happened. In real life, it is nothing new for adults to throw their children or commit suicide with them.

When parents have conflicts, the one who thinks he is the victim often takes it out on his children because he can't find the weakness of the other. Children become innocent victims, from being beaten and scolded to being killed.

This extreme behavior of the parties is extremely irresponsible to themselves and their children.

In intimate relationships, the book "Love to the Extreme is Letting Go" teaches us an effective way to make close people no longer hurt.

She used to be a reporter and anchor in Taiwan Province province. Resigned in 2002 to concentrate on writing and personal growth. The first work, Meeting the Unknown Self, sold more than 8 million copies. Since 2008, I have published Meet Who You Want, Live a New Contemporary Self, Meet Unknown Oneself Again, and Love to the Extreme is to Let Go. After each book goes on the market, it will cause a new wave of personal growth and upgrading. The total sales volume of this series has exceeded100000 copies.

1

The problems in intimate relationships are all related to our own inner emotions.

Love is waiting.

What we usually say about intimacy mostly refers to love, but in a broad sense, intimacy also includes affection and friendship.

Intimacy can bring us a sense of belonging and accomplishment, understand each other's experiences, care about life, rely on trust, and even reach the point where you have me and I have you. Let us feel that we are not alone in this world.

In real life, we often can't handle the relationship with parents, children, lovers and ourselves well.

I often see that women in marriage are very wronged, taking care of their children, doing housework, taking care of the whole family, and watching their mobile phones as soon as their lovers get home, without sharing anything for her; There will also be children who are wronged in front of their parents, complaining that their parents are too meticulous, interfering too much in their own affairs and feeling that they are not free. Whenever I talk about this matter, I will blame the other party. I am a proper victim.

For example, we women tend to be soft-hearted, usually accommodating our partners more and even pleasing our lovers. When encountering problems, they may be accustomed to forbearing or even unprincipled concessions because of their weak personality or inferiority, and they don't know how to safeguard their rights and interests, so that the other party can push their luck. Just like we always say, spoil them.

The difficulty is the spring. If you are weak, it is strong, and so is human nature.

In daily life, we usually have some concepts and ideas that are not completely correct. For example, couples have to stick together for 24 hours, and children must be excellent in learning. This is also easy to cause our negative emotions.

If you ask too much of your children, impose what you have not done on them. It is to realize your vanity, but it will cause tension between parents and children.

Her selfishness makes love a burden.

Life is a game of submission.

Many couples just endure for a few years, whether they should or not. Learning to face inner discomfort frankly is the best medicine to improve marital status.

It is immature children who often complain in life. Such behavior is not good for all kinds of intimate relationships.

People with serious emotional problems should not be deceived or concealed, but should be guided to face, recognize and accept.

It is very important to grasp your own heart and keep your own boundaries.

So how to be responsible for your emotions?

2

Be responsible for your emotions, let go when it's time to let go, and leave room for each other to grow.

Love is warmth.

Everything we do is for ourselves. So you are responsible for all your actions.

We should face the problem bravely, see clearly what the source of emotions is, change the inherent mode and grow constantly.

Our relationship with parents affects health, career, love, money and so on.

There are two kinds of relationships with parents that need to be further improved, namely alienation and entanglement.

Most alienated relationships are parents' own neglect of their children, even emotional and verbal violence, and children will react on their parents. This kind of relationship, with the growth of children, can slowly accept the inner harm, and the relationship will gradually ease.

The tying relationship is hard to say. Such parents are very strong, care about every detail of their children, interfere in love and life, and make decisions for their children. Children should get back their autonomy in life as soon as possible and get rid of their parents' control. This process will be quite hard.

In fact, only when children are strong and independent can parents worry less.

It is also a tangled situation that some children control their parents. It is to take the joys and sorrows of parents as your own business, especially to bear the burden for parents, but parents have no autonomy.

We don't want to be the saviors of our parents. Such children are filial to their parents on the surface, but in fact they are only concerned about material things, and they don't care much about their parents' spiritual needs. Parents have their own lives, so they should be allowed to do what they like.

Second, the relationship with your lover. Choose your partner carefully, communicate sincerely after the relationship is confirmed, and try to repair your feelings when the relationship is stiff. Let love flow gently in the relationship again.

In the intimate relationship between husband and wife, women are often weak, especially some women's economic dependence on their lovers, which is easy to cause fear. It is easier to act impulsively when feelings are not smooth, such as being restricted, abandoned, used, humiliated, afraid of boredom and even depressed. This is easy to produce negative emotions.

The behavior of husband and wife quarreling and throwing their children is essentially unable to control their emotions and pass negative emotions on to their children. The consequences are unimaginable.

If you want the other person to make a change, leave him room and create an environment. You can't talk about right and wrong, it will hurt your feelings.

Intimacy is like a bank account, which needs to be deposited. A quarrel between husband and wife is to withdraw money from the account. Quarrel is a matter of two people, and reconciliation only needs one person. Both of them should be right, and they can only lose each other.

Let's talk about the relationship with children. We can't customize the future for our children, but also leave room for them to grow freely.

Don't treat children as "face", for example, sometimes they feel that children are not polite enough and their exam results are not ideal enough. This will not only cause stress to children, but also affect our mood.

Some women don't want a divorce when their marriage relationship breaks down. They will say to their children, "Son, I won't divorce because of you." In fact, it is inseparable from divorce and has no fundamental connection with children.

Simply put, have the heart to make the person you love suffer.

Pain is the fuel of growth. Let loved ones solve their own problems, not help them. With love, cheer up and grow together.

three

Keep looking back at yourself, don't criticize others, and be the master of your emotions.

Love yourself more.

We should learn to get along with ourselves, accept our imperfections and change ourselves. By constantly reviewing yourself, you can find mistakes or deficiencies in your life and correct or adjust them in time. At the same time, we should accept criticism from others with an open mind, and don't be afraid to expose our dark side. This can enhance our ability to resist pressure.

Look at things correctly, instead of putting all the problems on parents, lovers and children. Clearly see your partner's childhood injuries, and then understand that he is not yelling at you during the trauma attack, but bullying his neighbors. If your partner is out of control, you will be more concerned and sympathetic and treat him gently. Knowing this, we can avoid some unnecessary accusations.

There are many beautiful scenery around us in life, for example, a sunny day, a smiling child, a group of birds flying with wings, flowers and trees on the roadside, all of which can be appreciated. Wearing gorgeous clothes is not only beautiful, but also comfortable to wear a cotton T-shirt.

Good health has inner strength.

Leave some space for yourself and let others share their blessings.

If we have money, we can help some poor people and make them happy, and we will be happy with them. Hold the inner space so that other people and things can pass through our own hearts. Everyone treats us equally, tolerates our thoughts and negative emotions, and then takes time to recover slowly.

If you want happiness, you have to "give up". "Break" means to stop negative thinking patterns and break unhappy thoughts; "Giving up" means obeying your heart, giving up your existing happiness and expecting everything; "Leaving" is to drive away the need for more happiness.

Be an actor in this scene of life.

For example, relax in time, stay in a daze on weekends, and learn to be alone. Enjoy beauty, travel, care less, be happy and stay healthy. Live with a smile in sadness, move on in fear, see hope in despair, and think of light in darkness.

Learn to get along with your emotions. Don't let emotions lead you by the nose, and don't be a slave to emotions. In particular, we should calmly face negative emotions and gradually reach a settlement with ourselves.

Accept people and things you don't like. Find inner joy. If he leaves you, you should be better. Don't run away from pain. Experiencing pain is the best practice.

We should get out of the emotional mode. No one can live without anyone, and no one can be stronger than anyone else. If you want to maintain your marriage, you have to put up with humiliation and make changes. Get out of the strange circle of emotional dependence on men, and you can live very high.

Conclusion:

The problems in intimate relationships are all related to our own inner emotions. For example, dependence on parents, being controlled by lovers, and demanding too much of children will all produce bad emotions.

We should face the problem bravely, be responsible for our emotions, and let go when it is time to let go, leaving room for the close ones to grow up. We should find the source of negative emotions, make efforts to make changes and get out of the inherent mode as soon as possible.

Look back at yourself, don't criticize others, and be the master of your emotions. Constantly observe yourself, look at things correctly, don't complain or blame, appreciate the beauty in life, make your body healthy and energetic, pursue a happy life and live your true self. In this case, all kinds of relationships will definitely be better.

We often say that the biggest difficulty is to challenge and overcome ourselves, that is to say, if you want to live a brand-new self, you must clarify some boundaries or get out of some misunderstandings.

To love to the extreme is to let go, which is a must-read classic for us to interpret intimate relationships. Especially suitable for female friends to read carefully. It teaches us how to be responsible for ourselves, find inner strength and wisdom, and get along with the people we love.

If you don't want to make yourself more miserable, take action and be the master of your emotions. Only by controlling your emotions can the intimate relationship around you get better and better.