Sa Beining said, "Don't just pull your parents to your side. That's not filial piety. " what do you think?

Personally, I think Sa Beining is right. Especially in rural areas, parents are not used to staying in cities. Let's talk about an example around them.

The boy got mixed up in Shenzhen after graduating from college, so parents don't have to worry about getting married and having children. After the career and family are stable, the boy is ready to take over his parents from his hometown and enjoy his retirement. My parents are from the countryside, and I have no culture. I can count the number of times I went to the county seat.

So the parents didn't want to go, but the son and daughter-in-law called every three days, and finally the son came back to pick up the two old people himself. The old couple had to simply tidy up, bring some home specialties and set off with their son.

When I arrived in Shenzhen, my son and daughter-in-law specially took a few days off to accompany the old man around. And tell them how to go downstairs to the nearby park, the nearby supermarket and so on.

In a few days, my son and daughter-in-law will go to work. My grandson has a nanny to take him to school every day, but the old couple don't know what to do every day. The electrical appliances at home can't be used, and I can't even understand the TV I watch at home. I wanted to go out for a walk, but cars came and went on the road, and both of them trembled when crossing the road.

In the next few days, the old lady began to get angry, blisters appeared in her mouth, and her son and daughter-in-law were anxious. At this moment, the old man spoke, "Let's go home. We can't help anything here and get nothing. We are afraid to go anywhere, just like birds in cages. When we go back to our hometown, we can at least see the boss and take a walk in the west, with nothing to do. This is really boring. If you really want to do something good for us, we can't stay.

My son cried, thinking that the two old people had worked hard all their lives to study for themselves. Now they have a good life, but they can't wait around, full of self-blame. But life is like this, separation is part of growth!

The next day, my son bought a plane ticket and sent the old couple back. The two old people who came home were all smiles and muttered that they would not go anywhere in the future, just at home, and their nests were not as good as their own.

Yes, we used to think that taking parents with us was filial piety, but did we ask them if they would adapt to such a big city? Wechat is hardly used to it. They will adapt to the scanning code payment in the city and swipe their cards by car? So sometimes we think differently from our parents. If you really want to be filial, you should go home often!

I'm Marvel Comics. Welcome to exchange guidance.

I took my parents with me for six years, and my father died peacefully last autumn, which gave me the opportunity and time to be filial.

I have been away from home for more than 30 years since I went to college. There are only a handful of times to go home every year, and the time to stay at home is in hours. The reason is always busy!

In 20 14 years, after his father got senile brain atrophy, he walked unsteadily and could not speak clearly. It's inconvenient to go to rural toilets, stoves, kang, water, see a doctor and buy things, and his mother's legs and feet are not as good as before.

In the past, when they talked about going to town, they had many reasons not to go. There are many people in the city, the roads are blocked, the buildings are high, the noise is loud, people don't know their neighbors, they don't know the language, they spend a lot of money, and they are afraid of causing trouble to their children. After a lot of work, I finally agreed to move to the city on 20 1410.2. They live in my old house, the first floor is 98 square meters, with two rooms, two halls, one kitchen and two bathrooms. It is more than 700 meters away from my home/kloc-0, and it takes about 2,500 steps 15 minutes.

Living conditions have improved. My brother, sister, uncle, aunt and other relatives are all in the city. You can also come and take care of the elderly and chat at any time. Their previous worries were not a problem, which brought countless benefits and conveniences. The family spent six years happily.

Since they came to the city, I have taken time to go there almost every morning or evening to have a look, sit, chat, send things, and find the feeling of having parents again. I am very happy.

The habit of watching TV after meals that I have developed for many years has been changed. Rain or shine, I will go to see the old man. A year later, my fatty liver changed from moderate to mild, my blood sugar dropped, I lost weight and I was full of energy. Buying food and breakfast on the way has improved the quality of life and the relationship between husband and wife. Of course, the understanding and support of my lover and son are my backing. My business is also going well. I used to earn a little money by renting a house, but after my parents lived, I felt that the lights were dim.

The most important thing is that I brought my parents to my side, and my son wanted to be filial and made up for the regret that the old saying was left to my niece in advance.

Father is gone. Although entering the city can't make him live forever, it took me 28 minutes to send my father to the emergency room of the autonomous region hospital from the time I received my mother's phone call to my notice 120. He died at the age of 82, and the medical conditions in the city played a great role.

In the last year, I stayed with them every night. My parents are short and live with me day and night. Compared with those students who are far away from their parents, I feel particularly extravagant. Six years together is not a long time, and it is not too short to think about it. As a son, I helped the elderly when they needed it, and I have no regrets for life!

The starting point is good. If you really receive it from you, it will often be counterproductive. There are too many contradictions, incongruities and inconveniences in your daily life, diet and living habits. ..........................................................................................................................

This situation cannot be generalized! The filial child found a filial daughter-in-law and son-in-law! In that case! It is a kind of enjoyment and happiness to take over your parents. On the contrary, it is different!

What Sa Beining said is very reasonable. I am 53 years old and I will retire in a few years. If I have to live with my children, I absolutely don't want to. My hometown is in the countryside, and my parents are absolutely unwilling to follow me to the city. They are only happy in the countryside, and I often feel satisfied when I go home to see them.

I have my own life circle in our small county. If I follow my children in Chengdu's new first-tier cities after retirement, I absolutely don't want to.

After retirement, I chat and have tea with my former colleagues every day and travel for a long time. This is my way of life. Arrived in a new place, no friends, the child will go to work tomorrow. I don't have any friends. It will be boring and really disgusting in a room of 100 square meter.

With children pigs, many things are uncomfortable because of the generation gap. After a long time, conflicts will inevitably arise.

I am 53 years old. When I go back to my hometown, my mother always wants to "educate" me and do this and that at work. I can only smile. In fact, her preaching still stays in the 1980s.

Especially modern young people always feel that their work is very heavy and it is meaningless for parents to help take care of their children.

label

The elderly have their own "world", their own way of life and entertainment, and all the places they have been used to for decades have a good life. Let the elderly live in their own way! Going home often is the greatest filial piety to parents!

I agree with Sa Beining. The older most people get, the less they want to leave their homes.

Take my parents for example. My mother's home is in the country, and there is a big yard at home. My parents planted some fruit trees, a small piece of vegetables, some chickens and a watchdog in the yard. Everyday life is to help grow vegetables, feed chickens and dogs, visit old neighbors' houses, chat, play cards, or go dancing in Little Square. I go home for dinner once in a while, and my life is very pleasant.

My sister's family is out of town, and sometimes I will take my parents to her house for a period of time, at most two weeks, and my mother will have to come back. My sister works during the day and is not at home one day. In the evening, she has to help her children with their studies, so she has no time to accompany them. I don't know my neighbors. I don't even have a speaker. In addition, my sister's family is in the south, so she can't get used to it, and people outside can't understand what she said. My mother said that living in her house was a torment, and it was better to stay at home.

This situation is similar to what Sa Beining said. Parents are uncomfortable without their familiar environment. As the saying goes, the older you get, the more you like to stay in places you are familiar with. If children can go home often, it is filial piety.

There is a heated discussion on whether parents should live with their children on the Internet. The conclusion is that the distance between "a bowl of soup" is the best, that is, parents cook meals at home and send them to their children's homes before the meals are cold, so this distance is the best. Children can see their parents whenever they want, and parents need children, so it's best to come to them early.

Of course, everything has two sides. It is also a good thing that some parents and children are willing to live together and live happily. Filial piety comes first, do you agree with me? Welcome to leave a message for discussion!

This problem cannot be generalized, and people's personalities vary widely. Some parents are very adaptable and especially willing to live with their children. They think this is the happiest thing. If you don't let them follow, they will get lost and suffer.

Some parents are not. They have their own small world and familiar living environment, where they live freely. It is difficult for him to adapt to a strange city and environment, and it is inevitable that he will have some contradictions and be upset and unhappy when he lives with his children every day. If this is the case, we should ask their opinions and welcome them to see me off. They can come and go freely and cannot be forced. This is filial piety to our parents.

Whether parents are around or not, as long as parents are happy, it is the greatest filial piety. Filial piety should be early, and you must never wait until the child wants to raise it, and you will regret it if you are not close to the child.

Sa Beining received higher education, but he didn't learn to be a man. He doesn't understand what his parents want. Animals have children and will be with them every day. When it can't see the child for a while, it will keep barking, even without eating or drinking. Not to mention animals, children are old, and parents can't go out to explore the world. In fact, parents don't want to leave their children for a day, and only when they are older will they realize it. Every time they call their parents, it's the children who hang up at last. I can think of my parents' bad mood and family conditions, so I can't go out to work with my parents. If conditions are good, I must be with my parents. There is a saying that having children is a plan to prevent old age. Unless Sa Beining has a bad relationship with his parents, Sa Beining will have such an experience and say so.

Don't be fooled by the star's personal views. It is very meaningful to Sa Beining, because he is a public figure, and there are enough conditions for his parents to live a carefree life in Beijing. But he is so busy with his work that he seems to have brought his parents to his side. In fact, he is still far away from his parents and has no time to accompany him. On the contrary, he has left his parents' familiar environment and is more lonely than before. From his point of view, this may be right, but it is also true.

We are all ordinary people. In all respects, it is impossible to equate with Sa Beining. This doomed ordinary people and public figures or other special groups to treat "don't take your parents around casually, that's not filial piety." There are different understandings of this view. Take me as an example.

I am 6 1 year old this year, and my girl has lived in Shenzhen 15 years. Both of them are joint venture executives with good incomes. 20 17 my girl bought a two-bedroom apartment for two elderly people in Huizhou, which is only half an hour's drive from her home. I hope my in-laws and I will move to a place not far from her. In recent years, except in winter, my husband and I occasionally go to a small house.

1. It depends on the age of parents and the current situation in Sa Beining. His point of view is right, but the timing of bringing his parents to live together is not good. Sa Beining is 45 years old. Under normal circumstances, his parents should be about 10 years old after 50 years. So, let's analyze the age relationship between the two generations.

1 Whether a public figure like Sa Beining or an ordinary person, the age of 30 to 50 is the highlight of life. People of this age bear the greatest stress in life. Yes, we often describe the hardships of life as "there are old people in the world and little people in the world". In these 20 years, children have to go to school, get married, provide housing, provide cars and support.

Speaking of the conscience of heaven and earth, people in this era focus their work and life on children. People's energy and love are limited. They care about one end, and the other end is naturally light. Therefore, children of this age generally tilt their love for their parents to their children, ignoring the existence of their parents.

2. I mentioned more than once in the previous article that the elderly between 60 and 70 years old are the happiest last bus in life. The older generation is no longer alive, and their children have already married and settled down. It is the golden age of enjoying old age. They have worked and lived in a familiar environment for decades, surrounded by countless relatives and friends. At this time, you take your parents to a strange environment, regardless of your eating habits. Great changes have taken place in climate and human environment, and it is inconvenient to lose friends who have crossed paths in the past. The key point is that many people under 70 are still full of vitality, both physically and mentally.

I have a deep understanding of this. The children bought a house in Shenzhen and let us live there. The material conditions are better than our hometown. After the first few days of energy, no matter at home or outside, I always seem absent-minded and have no sense of belonging. Think about their girlfriends and colleagues at home, dancing square dance and playing mahjong together will make anxious to return, so children will receive their parents at this age, which is filial to them, but parents may not be in their hearts.

So is our neighbor across the street. At the age of 55, he was taken to live in Shanghai by his son. At first, he bought a house with great joy, drove the BMW X6 bought by his son, and toured all the scenic spots around Shanghai. Nevertheless, in less than a year, he got tired of such days and went home after the Spring Festival in Shanghai.

Second, when is it filial to take the old man with you? In Sa Beining's words: "Don't just pull your parents to your side, that's not filial piety." This sentence really hurts. His starting point is good, but he ignores the age of the old man (I don't know how old his parents are) or his parents' physical state. Parents should have such a complex that they can sacrifice everything for their children until they get old and don't want to bring trouble to their children. Therefore, when their children are busy with their careers, it is the age when their parents are in good health and enjoy life carefree.

On the contrary, two generations have lived in the same space for a long time, and there will be some disharmonious factors more or less. Although Sa Beining's talk about unfilial is a bit exaggerated, it may really go against parents' wishes, but it will reduce their quality of life, and the loss will outweigh the gain.

I think: when the children are close to retirement age and grow up, they can put down their jobs and careers. Parents' physical condition is setting, and their self-care ability is getting worse every day. At this time, it is the most appropriate time to take them away from their mother, and that is the real filial piety.

Written at the end: an old man named Zhang lives near my home. He is over 70 years old this year. The old man was an actor in the local Peking Opera Troupe in his early years, and his daughter was a famous producer in Beijing drama circle. Her representative works include Don't Talk to Strangers, Latent, and Other Famous TV Plays. My daughter planned to send her parents to Beijing for the elderly more than ten years ago. At that time, her parents were in good health and there were many like-minded fans around her, so she was euphemistic. My daughter did not forget to give back to her parents and bought a house of nearly 300 square meters in her hometown. The front yard and backyard are full of flowers and fruit trees. The old couple grow their own vegetables and flowers. When they are interested, they invite fans to hang their voices, live the life they want and be as happy as fairies. Whenever I am free, my daughter's family will come back with her grandchildren, so that parents can enjoy the family happiness of their children and grandchildren around their knees.

The neighbor asked Father Zhang, "Why don't you go to menstruation's house in Beijing?"

The old man said, "neither her mother nor I want to move." The girl said that when we are too old to move, we will either be taken over or she will retire to accompany us. "

Well, finally back to the topic, I think so:

In any case, the initial intention of taking the old man from his mother is filial piety, but each old man is different in age, health and working status. It's best to ask your parents' wishes first, and know when to take the old man with you and when not to take your parents with you. I think Zhang's daughter has done a good job, and this filial piety is worth sharing with friends.

I disagree with what Sa Beining said. Children are the concern of parents all their lives. Parents always care about their children from the time they start learning English to the time they graduate from college. After children go to work, parents have to worry about their children's marriage, but what parents want to do most is to stay with their children, and how happy the family is.

I took my parents and lived with us in the city in my second year of work, and it's almost 20 years now. My parents don't feel lonely, and we don't feel burdened. The most important thing is that my wife is very kind to her parents-in-law, and there is almost no big contradiction in living together for so long. If you have any different opinions, make it clear. I am very grateful to my wife for dealing with people, and I am also very grateful to my parents for their meticulous care. Having an old family is really a kind of wealth. Sheep have the grace of kneeling and nursing, crows have the feeling of feeding back, horses have the meaning of hanging reins, dogs have the virtue of splashing water, and people are the spirit of all things. Why isn't there even XX?

Now some people's ideas have changed, preferring to hire a nanny rather than bring their parents. Whether you are developing in a big city or a small city, you don't want to live with your parents. A high-sounding reason is that the pace of life is accelerating now, and I am busy every day, so I don't have much time to spend with my parents. Parents will feel lonely when they go to a new city without relatives and friends. Is that really the case?

Most parents are willing to live with their children. Parents' ideas are simple. They can share some housework and take care of the children. The family is really happy together. In fact, such a big family is rare, mainly because the face of the son or daughter-in-law is ugly and the door is difficult to enter. They think that their parents may have influenced their two-person world. Some people regard the elderly as a burden and a waste. In fact, old people are also treasures.

When parents are old, what they need is not money, but the companionship and greetings of their children. Some children don't call their parents for a year on the grounds of busy work, let alone take their parents to see their children. There are three college students in my hometown neighbor's house These three sons are all engaged in technical work and have a good life, but their parents are still doing farm work in their hometown, not because their parents have special feelings for the countryside and are unwilling to live in the city, but because their sons think that their parents may get into trouble and are unwilling to take them.

Every time I go back to my hometown, I feel sorry for these two old people. It can be seen from their eyes that they are eager to live with their children, but which son is willing to accept them? May be influenced by this kind of thinking. As for filial piety, only you know best.