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What should I do if I meet a strong mother-in-law
What if I meet a strong mother-in-law? Filial piety is a traditional virtue. Filial piety is what I should do, but sometimes I meet an unreasonable mother-in-law, which really makes my daughter-in-law feel very angry, so the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law appears. Let's see what to do when we meet a strong mother-in-law.
What if I meet a strong mother-in-law? 1 It turns out that I have a happy and harmonious family. We have never quarreled since we got married, and we have been happy to take my mother over for more than a year.
I had two brief contacts with my mother-in-law, mostly by telephone. I always thought she was a reasonable person.
However, since I gave birth to a child and my mother-in-law lived for two months, all this has changed. The family is broken and the body collapses.
If it weren't for the quarrel between two mothers, if my husband must say that I ordered it after the quarrel, maybe I will keep a lot of things about my mother-in-law in my heart all my life and will always send her things, money and phone calls.
However, all this has become if. Now that my family is crumbling, I have changed from a carefree person to a dissatisfied housewife.
I also invited my mother-in-law to come over before, so that my husband could spend more time with her and let her meet her grandson.
My mother-in-law always said that she was not used to city life and didn't want to come over. One day, without saying hello, she suddenly attacked and came straight over, which caught us off guard.
The night she came, my husband bought hairy crabs. Because I was pregnant, I couldn't eat them, so when they were eating, I went to my room by myself. After the quarrel, my husband actually said that I had problems with my mother-in-law that day. It's really puzzling, and I haven't figured it out yet.
The next day, my mother and I went out to buy some imported fruits, and we were reluctant to buy them ourselves. It was July and it was very hot, so I wore a loose and thin skirt with suspenders.
Mother-in-law said, don't catch cold, put on more clothes and just give me a suit jacket. How can you catch a cold on such a hot day? I didn't say anything. I put on my coat and went out.
Knowing that she likes chicken and pork, she buys it from time to time for cooking, although my mother and I don't like it.
She insisted on going with me for the next two examinations, and every time she went, she was wrapped up. The doctor could not have a man. Even when I go downstairs for a walk, I'm dressed up.
It was like taking a shower when I came back. I have a lot of rashes, and my mother sympathizes with me. She couldn't take it easy, so she quarreled with her mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law said that I have a home and a house now, and it is unsightly to wear such clothes. Who should I seduce? When my mother-in-law saw that she couldn't beat my mother and me, she turned to complain about my husband and set us off.
My husband is a double-edged sword, deceiving me and his mother at the same time.
Once my husband cooked chicken and casually asked me whether he cooked it well or my mother cooked it well. I said he did a good job, which is also true.
I didn't expect his mother to start causing trouble everywhere. How can you be so considerate? Saying that your husband cooks well is to let your mother rest more and let your husband work more. God knows, my husband hasn't cooked or washed dishes since my mother came.
Husband said, mom is not that bad. I believed it. Maybe she really just said it, but it turned out that I was naive, which led to the ultimate tragedy.
That day, I began to have labor pains. I thought I might have a baby, so I washed my hair and took a shower and changed a sling. My husband and mother-in-law sat on the sofa watching TV and didn't ask me if it hurt. When you see me wearing a sling, let me change. I ignored it. I wear it in my own home, no matter how comfortable it is.
At two or three o'clock in the morning, my pain is severe. I decided to go to the hospital. My mother asked my husband to take me to the hospital quickly. Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law stopped me and insisted that I change my sling before going out.
My mother said that it's time to change clothes and go to the hospital quickly. Moreover, my skirt is not particularly exposed, and my mother-in-law still tears it and won't let me go out. My mother couldn't twist it, so she had to go back to her room to change clothes.
After entering the labor room at six o'clock, my mother-in-law said that she didn't have a good rest, was tired and hungry, and asked her husband to take her home and leave my mother alone outside the labor room.
Someone on the edge said, why are you alone outside when you have a baby? My mother fought back her tears.
During those days in the hospital, my husband was really kind to me. He sat by my bed and chatted with me. People in the same ward praised him. He replied that my wife has been with me all my life.
His mother was unhappy immediately after hearing this. She asked her husband, so you left your mother alone.
During confinement, the mother-in-law should report to her husband what happens every day at home. When friends come to visit me at home, my mother-in-law will criticize and provoke her husband, saying that this person talks too much, so what about that person. My relatives came all the way from other places to see me, but my mother-in-law didn't give me one if she wanted to hug me.
Mother-in-law also forget it, I didn't expect her husband to be a different person. After a while, I said that my mother didn't do this well and that well. She also said that I was exposed. I was a mother and didn't know how to converge.
On a hot day, my mother told me to put on more clothes, which made my skin full of rashes, and it hasn't subsided yet. Because the postpartum mood is unstable, there is no milk, and I cook my mother's favorite dishes at home every day. I'm not used to eating, and my stomach is not good.
Husband and mother-in-law seem to have nothing to worry about. They laugh when they see happiness on TV. My mother looked at me and said, "Your wife is in pain now, and you can still laugh."
My mother-in-law put a straight face at once. "This is my son's house. I am laughing at my son's house. What's wrong? " I heard something and came to the living room. Seeing my husband and his mother bullying my mother, I was angry and annoyed, and the four of us quarreled.
My husband accused me of being behind this. I intend to divorce me. I'm unlucky to marry such a person. He used to pretend, but now it is his nature, so unreasonable and unreasonable.
Marrying such a person is like the old society. You have to be obedient and virtuous, and you can't show your face. You can only silently endure being bullied by them. Now I'm in a dilemma and don't know what to do. Every day, my chest is like a stone, and my days are like years.
Zhu replied:
When you meet a feudal mother-in-law, you can't wear a skirt with suspenders, a skirt over your knees, or high heels, otherwise your mother-in-law will say it's immoral.
First, when you meet such a mother-in-law, you should see whether she is attacking you or whether she thinks you are an insecure woman.
The so-called insecure woman is that she helps her son stare at you, and she thinks you will fool around outside dressed like this.
Second, you should consider why she is staring at you like that. Why do you want to impose her ideas on you? It is meaningful to this mother-in-law.
What about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law If their relationship is not good in itself, then she will come to you.
Third, the mother-in-law and your husband get too close.
She regards her son as a lover. She thinks you took her lover, and now she has been taken away, so she makes a diversion attack.
What should you do when you meet such a mother-in-law
First, unite your husband.
Second, reach an agreement with my husband in this respect.
Your manners, your clothes, you always admit that you don't recognize them?
If he doesn't approve, then this is the problem. Your husband's feelings and thoughts are very important.
Only when you and your husband reach an agreement and form an alliance can she not interfere with you.
Third, you should take your mother-in-law out for a walk, let her see what the outside world is like, and the outside world will educate her.
Fourth, you should isolate her.
Many times, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a certain relationship. If you can't unite your husband, your marriage will be very dangerous.
No matter what you do, the most important thing is to unite your husband. It's no use separating your mother-in-law if you don't unite your husband.
Among the couples I have coached, several couples are getting divorced because of their mother-in-law's intervention.
There is a couple whose mother-in-law doesn't live with them. They are in the city and their mother-in-law is in the countryside. They call every day to supervise and make trouble.
Another mother-in-law has never come forward. Her mother-in-law only said to her son, "Son, I forgot my mother when I married my wife. I feel very uncomfortable not to call me if I have nothing to do." .
It's useless to do anything without uniting with your husband.
What should I do if I meet a powerful mother-in-law? 2 1, deal with a man as he deals with you.
When it is meaningless to reason with in-laws in life, then women should stop forcing themselves to reason with in-laws. This road is dead. A woman must learn to deal with her as she deals with you. In this case, women must learn to suppress their in-laws strongly and make them fear you.
2, the son's feelings
Don't speak ill of your mother-in-law in front of your husband or behind her back. No matter what you say, your husband will be unhappy. It is also unwise to get angry with your mother-in-law and then give her husband a hard time. It's more useful for you to pretend to be poor than to give him a look.
3. Don't make noise.
In the face of her mother-in-law's fierce words, most women can't stand it and should talk to each other. It's understandable that I can't stand my mother-in-law's vicious words, but if I want to solve the problem and resolve the contradiction, this kind of quarrel will only increase the cracks and do no good. In fact, the best way to deal with quarrels is that the mother-in-law is unreasonable and annoying her husband no matter how obedient she is.
I have my own income.
If the mother-in-law is too strong, the daughter-in-law does not intend to tolerate her. What the daughter-in-law should pay attention to at this time is that she must use her mother-in-law's money less. Many daughters-in-law don't go to work by themselves, but rely on their husbands to support them, even on their parents-in-law. Such a daughter-in-law can't lift her head. If they have their own financial resources, they will have the confidence to talk to their in-laws
Step 5 keep your distance
Strong and unreasonable mother-in-law, it is best to keep a distance, stay away from her mother-in-law, and must live separately. For a smart woman, to deal with such a strong and unreasonable mother-in-law, she must learn to keep her distance and stay away from her. Even if the conditions are worse, she should live separately and not live with her in-laws.
6. Give her face
Although there is no need to follow the three obedience and four virtues now, the basic etiquette should still be followed. The strength of the elderly is nothing more than saving face and fighting for face. I hope my daughter-in-law will respect herself, listen to her words and obey herself. For the sake of family harmony and making the elderly happy, it is nothing to listen to their opinions or criticize them.
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