Horrifying funny words

Shocking and funny things

Shocking and funny things to say, in life, we always encounter many shocking and funny things, and these things will also make us feel better. Relax and become happy, and some ridiculous and funny sayings can also bring us happiness and make us laugh. Let’s share some ridiculous and funny sayings with you, let’s watch them together. Shocking Funny Talk 1

1. There have always been legends about me in the world, but I am too lazy to show up.

2. A good horse never turns back to eat grass. If there is no good grass ahead, why not turn back.

3. What is love? Love is when others are worried that you will gain weight, but I am worried that you are not full.

4. We all evolved from apes, and you degenerated from apes.

5. I am not a rag collector, so I can’t be there at your call.

6. What is lost will never come back, even if it comes back it will not be the same, so cherish what you have and forget who you were good to in the past

7. I have asked you ten thousand times, how can you bear to be hurt? I am too deep, I believe all the lies to be true

8. Only through your own efforts and efforts can you get what you want.

9. Never forget Our memories only belong to us

10. I have seen so many words that empathize with me, who can my words make a scream?

11. Life is like a cup, from a milk bottle to a Coke bottle, then to a wine bottle, then to a teapot, and finally to an infusion bottle

12. The whole What stays with flies all day long is either garbage or maggots!

13. I mock everyone like a clown every day, but no one knows that I am covering up the sadness in my heart.

14. Life is all about making others smile and making others smile.

15. All weekends that are not aimed at sleeping are just hooligans!

16. The extinction of the dinosaurs was due to the creation of beautiful women in disguise.

17. In the past, my love was like a dwarf, hanging to death by a bush.

18. Most people want to change the world, but few want to change themselves.

19. No matter how beautiful the memories are, they are just passing by by chance.

20. We laughed brilliantly at that time, but it was a pity that it was only short-lived. Shocking Funny Talk 2

1. On the eve of my wedding, my father handed me a wooden box: Son, this is an heirloom of our family. It is passed down from male to female. You must keep it properly. I opened the box carefully and saw a pair of knee pads inside. . .

2. I asked Buddha: Is there true love in this world? Buddha said: If so, would I still become a monk?

3. "Why did you stay in the toilet for so long?" "I feel like I'm not flying."

4. I just received a phone call: "Baby... I'm here today Let’s go out for seafood in the evening after we get paid. I’ll also buy you a few sets of clothes. I also bought the necklace you’re interested in. Don’t save money for me. You should spend the money I earn.” I held the phone. His hands trembled slightly... He held back the tears of emotion and told him: You made the wrong number.

5. I’m going to say something ugly first. If you are not my boyfriend, don’t blame me for being your girlfriend.

6. Don’t complain, the world is actually fair. Leehom Wang and Jay Chou ride electric bikes to work every day, Wang Han and He Jiong eat instant noodles for every meal, Angela Chang enjoys CRY even if she eats Qiaolezi once in a while, Mayday is so poor that he uses chewing gum to pick up girls, and Wang Dongcheng is so disappointed in life that he can't help but cry out. Great aunt. So, work hard, boy!

7. I am too infatuated in this life, and I will have the opportunity to step on eight boats in the next life.

8. Once, the class teacher asked for a long vacation. The acting teacher said that the class teacher was hit by a car and suffered a fracture. So, the class leader asked everyone in the class to contribute a share of money to buy the teacher a wheelchair, but the money was not enough. , and it seems that I also bought a second-hand one. The squad leader sent several class cadres to carry the wheelchair to the door of the teacher's house, knocked on the door, and then saw the class teacher coming out to open the door with a plaster hanging on one hand. . . .

9. The little white rabbit raised by my girlfriend died. I was in the supermarket at that time. My girlfriend called me and burst into tears. While crying, she said: "Don't buy cabbage tonight, buy some star anise, zucchini, etc." Come back then."

10. I'm going to bed. Can you turn off the moon for me? Thank you.

11. There was a man and a woman. The boyfriend said: "Honey, I have bad news and good news. Which one do you want to hear first?" The woman said: "Oh, I want to hear the good news first." "The man said: "The good news is that I am going to be a father." The woman said: "But I am not pregnant!" The man said: "This is the bad news I want to tell you!"

< p> 12. Today, my mother asked me to help her recharge some phone bills at the mobile business hall. I thought it was troublesome, so I used online banking to top up 50 yuan for her. Two minutes later, I heard my mother shouting: Son! You don’t need to recharge. I don’t know which fool helped me recharge 50 yuan just now.

13. Wu Zetian proved that success has nothing to do with gender, Jiang Ziya proved that success has nothing to do with age, Zhu Yuanzhang proved that success has nothing to do with origin, Jack Ma proved that success has nothing to do with appearance, and Bill Gates proved that success has nothing to do with education. , and I am more powerful. I have proved that success has nothing to do with me.

14. Don’t ask me how long I have been single, as if you are asking my age.

15. When I was a child, my mother told me that if you kiss someone else, they will get pregnant. One day when I was eating, my dog ??came over to grab my food and accidentally touched my mouth. , not long after, my dog ??gave birth to three puppies. From then on, I swore that as long as I had a bite to eat, I would never starve their mothers.

16. Don’t envy others for their long legs and thin waist. Others don’t have your fat body and broad mind.

17. A 35-year-old single cousin went home alone after watching a movie last night. Passing by a dark alley, she found a man staring at her. She said to the man: "You If you don’t come over, I’m going to scream.”

18. I remember when I was a child, I slept in the same bed as my parents. I heard a “dong” sound in the middle of the night and woke up to find that I had fallen on the floor. At this time, I heard my mother ask my father: Where is my son? My dad said: I fell out of bed. My mom: Oh. The two of them went to sleep! ! ! Go to sleep! ! !