Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Tell me about love rat.

Tell me about love rat.

1. I am slow-heating, but the heat preservation performance is good. Once I get hot, I won't cool down.

Originally my dream was to be a schoolmaster, but now, I just want to stop studying.

I wrote everything for you, but you didn't respond when the whole world was moving.

Who said I was lazy? I tell you, I eat very hard.

The sweat and tears you shed after getting married are all the water in your mind when you choose a husband.

6. If we break up, I will make up with my ex-girlfriend immediately.

7. Don't judge me by my past. I'm not who I used to be.

8. When you are not online, look at your blackhead in a daze. When I am online, I look at my colorful head in a daze.

9. It's noon on weeding day. It's really difficult to attend classes. Take a little broken book and sit all morning.

10. The most attractive one is Master Kong. Thousands of people love him.

1 1. No matter how much you hate your school, you will miss it after leaving for a long time.

12. As Lan Yan, I suddenly understand that Lan Yan is exercising her boyfriend's obligations, but she has no fucking boyfriend's rights!

13. Smile brightly no matter how bad your grades are. This is the dignity of a school scum.

14. What I once thought I was obsessed with was forgotten in the process of obsession.

15. Can you tell me something about my relationship with you so that I can give up?

16. If I can buy someone I like with money, I will try to save money and buy you home.

17. I still like you, but I lack the stubbornness that must be together.

I have a heart of learning to bully, but only the life of learning to scum!

1, if you don't sleep in class, you get drunk on the wine table.

He left, leaving only a bloody shirt and the unfinished sentence I love you.

3. I am remembering the mottled intersection and walking aimlessly.

4. Empty eyes, collapsed body, nervous brain. This is me now.

All you have to do is believe in yourself. If you can bind yourself, then you can break the cocoon into a butterfly.

6. Life is a belief. Believe in beauty, and you will naturally meet beauty.

7, stumbling injury, when it is a residual makeup painted for youth.

I was disappointed and sad, but I didn't say anything.

9. If love keeps me going, I will fight to the end of love.

10, long like this is hereditary. Unless you have no parents, do my parents want me to have plastic surgery?

1 1, my future girl, tell me where to go to find your mother ~

12, you live in my heart, and the hateful thing is that you can't get rid of it.

13, if you overcome doubts and fears, you will overcome failure.

14, I have a heart of learning to be a bully, but only a life of learning scum! /Shuo Shuo/

15, I am too stubborn to bow my head and look back.

16, sometimes, you have to pretend to be happy just to prevent others from asking you what's wrong.

17. Feelings are like glass. Sometimes, it is better to let them break up than to get back together painfully.

18. Deliberately avoiding the question without finding the answer is the real pain.

19, I know you think I don't know, but I know.

I love you, and I am willing to give up everything, including me, for your happiness.

2 1. If it hadn't happened, I thought we wouldn't have so much self-love.

22. [I know retention is not the way, but I still can't help bowing to you]

23, forget it, the result is only sad, not sweet.

24. We all learn to grow up and then love each other deeply.

25. You pierced my last line of defense with the sword of betrayal. ~~/*

26.-How many people are laughing and laughing during the day, with a rock-solid surface, but secretly crying at night?

27. After breaking up, coming back is just perfunctory.

Many times, I feel more like a mute, biting my lip when I am sad.

29. Mom, your smile is what I pursue.

30. We are all nearsighted, which blurs our truest feelings.

On Xueba and Xueba's personality: I don't know the darkness of night during the day, and Xueba doesn't know Xueba's tears.

First, learning to be domineering in exams is like Wifi. Fiona Fang is full of people who want passwords within 10 meters.

Second, others are reviewing, and I feel that I am previewing.

Third, in class, the teacher lectures at the speed of 4G, while the learning god listens at the speed of wifi. Xueba remembers at the speed of 3G, while Xueba looks at it at the speed of 2G. Learning losers often drop off the line, and learning residues can't be found or contacted. Finally, it is automatically turned off!

Fourth, I wanted a schoolmaster, but I didn't expect to be given a schoolmaster class.

Five, I want a stable score, can resist the cruelty of exams, and have a home among piles of schoolmasters.

6. "If I pass the exam, please don't call me Xueba." "What do you call that?" Please call me a gambler!

Seven, I have a specialty, that is, every time I do a math problem, I can count for half a day, and then avoid the correct answer very accurately.

Eight, I used to be a schoolmaster, until one day I wanted to see the world of slag, and TM couldn't find the way back.

Nine, scum is bitter, scum is tired, can't sleep before the exam, can't pass the exam, is very decadent after the exam, and has to give it to Xueba. Xueba said he couldn't do it at all. As a result, there is no problem in the exam!

Ten, the blood of Xueba hidden in my body, I order you to lift the seal in the name of Xueba.

Xi。 "Turn off the eating mode and turn on the learning mode" and "Sorry, your configuration is too low to enable this function"

The furthest distance in the world is when the teacher is talking about the fourth chapter, the senior is reading the eighth chapter, and I am still reading the catalogue.

Thirteen, I can only do three things at school: watch the results of Xueba Show, watch couples show their love, and watch local tyrants show off their wealth.

Fourteen, I don't understand the darkness of the night during the day, and Xueba doesn't understand the tears of the scum.

Xueba drives a speedboat in the ocean of knowledge, and I feed sharks in the ocean of knowledge.

Sixteen, I asked Xueba how to take the math test 140, and he said that just write two less fill-in-the-blank questions. Enough! !

Seventeen, although I was dumbfounded by Xueba's achievements, the speed at which I handed in my thesis absolutely stunned Xueba.

Why do you want to be a schoolmaster? Because I don't want her to ask other people questions? Why do you want to be a schoolmaster? Because I want to ask him questions.

Nineteen, scum told scum a topic, that is, friendship; Xueba gives lectures to scum, just like it; Scum told Xueba a topic, that is, love; Xueba gives lectures to Xueba, and the exam is coming soon.

If I spend all my eating time studying, I will not only become thin, but also become a schoolmaster.

21. Life is like a play. Before the score came out, Xueba was the best actor.

Twenty-two, the teacher told Xueba never to get close to Xueba, and the teacher told Xueba to get close to Xueba.

Twenty-three, the meaning of learning residue: dress beautifully, eat well, and answer the papers in vain, which is the bottom of learning hegemony.

Twenty-four, the sky will drop to Sri Lanka, and it is necessary to turn off the mobile phone, stop the traffic, steal the account, unplug the network cable, bid farewell to the scum, and be a schoolmaster.

Twenty-five, the schoolmasters use the homework written all night, and the scum will get it in an early reading.

Twenty-six, I think my sister was also a schoolmaster in kindergarten, and now she has fallen.

Even if the teacher speaks a wool, Xueba can knit a sweater.

Twenty-eight, hoping to get a master's degree, without leaving a head. Will take me to study by myself, brush thousands of questions a day, review and solve doubts, give me exams, and sit next to me in the examination room to help me take them off.

Twenty-nine, forgive scum, I dressed up to attend, holding a fountain pen, frowning and writing hard, just to help Xueba bottom.

At first, my dream was to be a headmaster. Now, I just want to stop studying.

Thirty-one, there is a slag in a pile of schoolmasters, just like a bottle of Liushen mixed in a pile of famous brand perfume.

Thirty-two, I think I have always had a schoolmaster in my body, and I want to brush the questions to feed him, but recently I found that he is starving to death.

What girls need now is not a prince, but a male god who can assist mathematics and physics.

34. There are three kinds of people in school. One is to learn to bully, and the other is to stop learning. As for this third kind of people, they want to be bullies, but they can't, but they want to stop learning.

Thirty-five, there is a kind of schoolmaster called "other people's children".

Thirty-six, "Have you finished reading the review materials?" "I see, it's over."

Thirty-seven, in fact, I was born a quasi-schoolmaster, but the teacher is not cute or beautiful, so I have no motivation.

Thirty-eight, "How can I get 98 points for Xueba" and "Do one less multiple-choice question"

39. Actually, I used to be a schoolmaster, and I was curious about the world of scum. I went to have a look, but I don't know how to come back.

Forty, for Xueba, I just want to know: What happened in your junior high school that made you fall into my school?

No matter how bad your grades are, you should live with a smile. This is the dignity of scum.

Forty-two, it is obvious that the school residue system needs to start any school hegemony mode, which not only consumes electricity but also has a special card.

Forty-three, "Start learning hegemony mode" and "Sorry, your brain is out of memory"

44. Save your strength this semester, and I'll tell you what Xueba is next semester.

45. What is a sense of security? Just after finishing the problem, Xueba read the same answer as you.

Forty-six, learning god is brushing questions, learning tyrants are brushing homework, and learning scum is brushing dynamics.

Obviously, the learning surplus system has also opened the learning hegemony model.

Introduction: Speaking of a gentleman, he is a little too impatient, so he often looks like a yellow man. One day, another matchmaker provided a new clue, so the gentleman deliberately dressed up and asked a young buddy: Come on, teach me, I'll go on a blind date later. What can I wear to look younger? Without thinking about it, the buddy jingled: wear open-backed pants.

1. After lunch, we hurried back to the classroom to do our homework. I didn't expect to fart. The exaggerated expression of the girl sitting next to me makes me uncomfortable. To make matters worse, she even said "bah!" . I was angry, too, and asked unhurriedly, "Sister, how can you vomit when you eat fart?" Sister immediately opened her eyes.

2. Sister Paper: Dear, what should I do if I jump into the pit and find that there are no help methods and tools? Sao nian: I'll poke a hole in my head first to let the water flow out so that I can float. Sister paper: Why is there so much water in my head? Sao nian: hum ... what if there is not so much water?

The mobile phone is broken and needs to be repaired. After checking, the repairman said: Brush the machine fifty times … I: Then brush it … Then the repairman took out a small brush …

4. A: Dude, I found that sister papers can be divided into three categories. Did you do it? No, tell me about it A: A kind of mind-wandering, a kind of kidney-wandering, and a kind of flow.

The mobile phone is broken and needs to be repaired. After checking, the repairman said: Brush the machine fifty times … I: Then brush it … Then the repairman took out a small brush …

6. One day, Cao Cao's army was on the road, hungry and thirsty. Cao Cao said, "There is Merlin ahead. Plums can quench your thirst! " Troops went there one after another. When they arrived, everyone cursed: "Cao Cao thief, there is no Merlin here, only a small river!" " "

7. Sister Paper A: Why do you think men are so different before and after falling in love? Sister paper B: Have you ever seen a student holding a book all day after the exam? Sister paper a: ...

8. M: 10 years later, I know my child's last name, but you don't. Everything is unknown ... Woman: What's the big deal? I know the child must be mine, but your child doesn't know. ...

9. My wife has a bad stomach and is often constipated. Every time I go to the bathroom, she looks at me viciously. If it's big, I have to punch when I come out, and she also maliciously scolds me: Dare to show off my wealth!

10, A: Why have you lost so much weight recently? B: I'm sorry that my husband is looking for a mistress ... A: Then get a divorce. B: No, I still want to lose 10 Jin. ...

165438+ can't stand it! Don't do this. "The male doctor scolded:" You can't stand it, you have to endure it. You won't come to me if you feel better. "

12, A: Dude, it is said that books are the ladder of human progress. B: Do you know what the elevator of human progress is? A: No, please advise. This is an electronic book.

13, A: Hey! The exam is coming, so it seems that we have to work hard. B: Come on. Obviously, the school slag system is going to start the school bully mode, which not only consumes electricity, but also has a fucking special card.

14, one day Sima Guang was playing with his friends in the backyard. A little friend fell into the water tank, and everyone shouted. At this time, Sima Guang used his quick wits to smash the water tank, friends and pawns with a big stone. Everyone gathered around the body of their little friend and said, "Sima Guang, you are so smart."

15, see God's reply again. Reporter: "What do you think of setting off fireworks and firecrackers in the New Year?" Grandpa: "What do I think? Of course I saw it in the sky. " "Then I can't put it at home for the New Year?" Grandpa: "We don't put it at home, only fools put it at home." Reporter: "..."

16, Gong Yu thinks his two mountains are not pleasing to the eye, and he is determined to level them. Although it was difficult, he thought: he has children and grandchildren, and he can finally level the mountain. The story reached the ears of the Jade Emperor, who was very moved, so the Jade Emperor sent two Hercules to kill the stupid old man.

17, chatting with an old man ... old man: his health is getting worse every day. Me: Your body will live to be at least 90 years old. Old man: 1 month, I will be 90 ...

18, Wife: Honey, have you seen my clothes? Husband: Chao, who told you to go out without an umbrella?

19, female: "handsome coach, do you have a girlfriend?" Handsome coach: "No, concentrate, I'm teaching you to drive." Woman: "A virgin?" Handsome coach: "Yes ... Ah, no, no, it's strange that you ask this ..." Female: "You have a crush on me?" Handsome coach: "How can I put it?" Woman: "I see you are always peeking at me." Handsome coach: "No!" Woman: "Look, here we go again, hee hee ..." Handsome coach: "Hey, you're numb, I'm looking at the rearview mirror ..."

20. There are many women around my buddy. I recently heard that I'm getting married! A head of doubt, seeing his prospective wife, surprised us! Very general! Asked why, he said: I really don't think this has been touched!

2 1. After going to the temple on holiday, I took out my student ID card ... Conductor: All students are equal before the Buddha, so there is no student ticket. ...

22. Brother: Sister, I want to buy a laptop. Do you agree? Sister: I definitely agree. Brother: How much did you help?

23. Wife: I saw a very philosophical sentence today. The other half doesn't fit like wearing shoes. Only my own feet know ... Husband: No wonder my feet hurt. ...

24. Women nowadays are so sissy ... I went out to exercise with the old lady and walked less than 100 meter. She was tired ... I had to get rid of her. ...

25. Neighbor Li Er's wife came home after going to the hospital for examination, saying that she was pregnant with quadruplets, and began to show off to her neighbors everywhere. Because she didn't know medical professional knowledge, she casually said, "It's really not easy to give birth to quadruplets, with an average of 60 thousand births." Xia Er, a sister-in-law who is as ignorant as she is, said in surprise, "Do you still have time to do housework?" I really want to laugh.

26. The construction company wanted an experienced employee, and Lao Li applied for it ... Lao Li: I'm an old hand in the construction industry ... Interviewer: Can you be more specific? Lao Li: I have been sifting sand in the workplace for so many years. ...

27, shopping in the supermarket, checkout, the wife proudly said: pay attention to that female cashier? I asked curiously: What's the matter? The wife said: her beard print is so obvious, but mine is not very obvious. I gloat: yours is almost the same as mine! The wife said angrily, do you believe it? I killed you! !

28. After breakfast, my wife asked me to go out to buy clothes. After I packed up, my wife said to me, "How many years have we only been married? Why do you look so old-fashioned? " I smiled and took out a hundred-dollar bill and said, "Do you like it?" The wife immediately said, "I like it." I immediately said bluntly, "If you like RMB, do you still care what year it was issued?" My wife was speechless at once.

29. Go to the hospital today. I saw a little boy about 6 or 7 years old, wearing open-backed pants and walking with his legs crossed. Tintin buckled a plastic bowl and held it in his little hand. Approached, I saw a band-aid on Tintin, and I really wanted to know what the child had done. I don't have the courage to take pictures. You can fix it yourself.

30. Maybe I'm too handsome. Our female monitor just wants to get my attention and get close to me, so she often asks me to take out the garbage and clean the toilet. ...

Editor's note: I found 100 yuan at the gate of the factory in the early morning, and the whole factory knew that I would invite you to dinner. Anyway, please pick it up. Only 100 was invited, and few people went. Finally, after eating and checking out … more than 200! I deeply feel cheated! Might as well not pick it up.