Post funny copy to Moments

Post funny copy on Moments (selected 46 sentences) 1. Tell male compatriots the secret of not having to wash the dishes is to deliberately break the dishes every time your wife asks you to wash the dishes, so that your wife will not worry about the things. You will be asked to wash the dishes. This is what I learned from my experience kneeling on the washboard! 2. When I encounter a problem, I will not rush to blame others. Instead, I will reflect on myself first. If it is really my fault, I will think about how to blame it on others! 3. Others worry about how to make money, but I worry about how to spend money. How can two hundred yuan be spent until next month? 4. A thief sneaked into my house just now and looked for money everywhere. Later we started looking for it together. 5. Rainy days are suitable for sleeping at home, sunny days are suitable for going out for a walk. For a long time, there is no day suitable for going to work. 6. A very beautiful girl just stood in front of me. We looked at each other for a long time, and no one broke the calm. It was not until my hands got tired that I slowly put down the mirror. 7. If you have a dream, you must persevere. When the alarm clock rings, you must quickly turn it off and continue to sleep. 8. Being in the midst of blessings and not knowing the blessings means that some people have gained weight but they pretend not to know it! 9. Violence cannot solve problems. Come on, let’s sit down calmly and you praise me for an hour. 10. I went to get a haircut, and the barber said: Little sister, your eyes are so big and beautiful. I stretched my neck and said: Brother, if you tighten it tighter, I can still stick out my tongue. 11. When I was a kid, I would blush whenever someone stared at me. Now, whenever someone stares at me, I make them blush. 12. Lips are prone to dryness and cracking in winter, so I asked my mother to buy a lip balm when I went to the supermarket. I applied it for almost two months, but I just found out that it was a solid lip balm. 13. In order to lose weight, my best friend and I agreed to jog on the street for half an hour every night. We persisted for a month, and the effect was really obvious. We ate all the barbecue stalls along the street. 14. The first and second-placed students in a class are usually enemies, but the first-to-last and the second-to-last are basically friends. 15. I was hospitalized with a fever. A beautiful nurse from the hospital walked by, looked at the sling bottle, and asked me how my fever was going. I said: It burned very well! 16. Lao Wang is a doctor. Once, a painter friend asked him to look at a portrait of a dying person he had painted. After looking at it repeatedly, he said: "This man has a heart disease." ? 17. In an art gallery, a woman stood in front of a portrait of a beggar and shouted in surprise: "This beggar doesn't even have any decent clothes, but he can afford someone to paint his portrait." ? 18. Goddess: Call me queen. Diaosi: Queen Eight. Goddess: Pig, you? Just two words. Diaosi: Bastard! 19. I just saw a man taking a taxi to his girlfriend at the intersection. Before leaving, the man said don’t worry, I’ve written down the license plate! The driver was furious: Damn, are you insulting my taste? ! 20. When a girl you like confesses your love to her, you should be straightforward and push her to the wall and say domineeringly: "I will support you from now on." ?You have to kiss her after you finish speaking, don’t give her a chance to refuse or think. I've been to the police station several times just by relying on this trick. 21. When I was in junior high school, I helped my buddy deliver a letter to the girl in the next class. After the girl received it, she threw it into the trash without even reading it. I quickly explained that I didn't write it, and the girl picked up the letter. 22. Dare to ask what kind of woman is a real woman. God’s reply: Don’t inflate. 23. Life is so fucking fun, because life keeps fucking playing with me. 24. It is better to spend money to spend money than to spend money in front of you. 25. The night gave me black eyes, but I want to use them to wear Bausch and Lomb. 26. Half-hearted: make your parents feel at ease, make your lover happy, make your boss worry-free, be kind to women, and be casual with men. 27. I am not familiar with Wu Bai, but his brother Erbai Wu is very familiar with me. 28. You can’t satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human! 29. My wife suddenly said to me: Husband, I don’t want to be with you? I didn’t say anything and shed tears silently. My wife panicked and said: What’s wrong? I'm kidding you! Me: No, happiness comes too suddenly? No more, I will kneel down for a while ~ 30. My father scolded me at noon.

Later, I got emotional and slapped me in the face. I wanted to lighten the atmosphere at that time. I originally wanted to say: Dad, are you hungry? Let me get you something to eat. But I almost said it: You haven’t eaten, right? Then I got slapped again. Got a solid slap in the face? 31. I saw a purple plush collar when I got home. I happily put it on and asked my mother: Why did you think of buying me a collar? Turns out my mom told me it was a plush toilet seat she bought. 32. Today is my wife’s birthday. Thinking of her care and consideration for me over the years, I spent a year’s private money to buy her a pair of gloves. 33. The most helpless thing is not playing the piano to the cow, but the cow playing the piano to you. It is not only helpless, but also terrifying! 34. If you want to win me over, you can pour me a cup if you are good-looking, or if you risk your life if you are ugly, I will show you what it means to not get drunk after a thousand cups. 35. What’s wrong with my tanned skin? At the very least, it has some benefits. My face looks better, my teeth have become whiter, and I don’t blush even when I drink alcohol recently! 36. Why can’t a woman see through her heart? With such a thick layer of flesh, do you think you can see through it? It's like you can see through a man's heart! 37. Although I am not tired at all today, I just don’t want to move. I just want to be a handsome man, the kind that everyone loves. 38. When there was a power outage, I opened the door, walked in and out, and illuminated the eyes of my family by making frequent appearances. 39. My turn-over rate when walking on the street is ridiculously high. Basically every time I see a beautiful woman, I turn back to look at them. I am very proud! 40. I have always considered myself a warrior, able to face all difficulties and obstacles. It wasn’t until my girlfriend was taking off her makeup that I gave up on the idea! 41. When you are young, you must be crazy and do something worth bragging about. Otherwise, when you have a son, you will find that there is nothing to brag about! 42. Reality cannot defeat me. After all, my dream is so awesome that it is impossible to lose! 43. I find that everyone around you likes you so much! ?Of course, after all, everyone who doesn’t like me has been driven away by me! ? 44. Remember, when there is lightning, you must pose and smile. That is God taking a picture of you! 45. I had a nightmare yesterday. In the dream, I only had 1 million assets left. It scared me to death. In my previous dreams, I had tens of millions! 46. ??Recently, my boyfriend dislikes me for being fat, so I am determined to lose weight like a lightning bolt, and then use my four-meter waist to tire him out! snort!