My sister refused to let my brother continue to help her pay the mortgage. My sister-in-law: Make it clear that your brother is married. what do you think?

There is an old saying that "it is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish", and the old saying also says that "emergency is to help the poor". These words are actually very straightforward, and some things can't be helped. Even if you want to help, you should pay attention to ways and means, otherwise you will often end up in a rice race. In our life, it is often between relatives who are most prone to this problem. Mutual help between relatives is mutual affection, but if the giver goes beyond the limit and the receiver is unknown, then relatives may eventually become enemies. Figure | Network

My father can say that he has a deep understanding of this matter. My little uncle has gone a long way to see my family now. After so many years, the relationship between the two is not getting better and better, but more like an "enemy." Is my father not good enough for my little uncle? On the contrary, my father is too kind to his youngest brother. Let's not talk about providing him with education before. Just getting married and starting a family, my dad has borne all the expenses, which is really good. My father is not so kind to my mother and me, because my little uncle has a constant noise at home.

But in recent years, my father is old and can't help my brother in all aspects as before. My little uncle can't benefit from my father, and may even be dragged down, so he never came to my house again, and my father didn't come to see him when he was in hospital. Later, my father realized that he had spent so many years in exchange for his brother's feeling that he was not good enough, which led to a difficult life now. He finally understood, so he repeatedly stressed to me that you should never marry a man like him.

But when he understood, I was married, and my husband was just like that. Fortunately, compared with his father, he is still unwilling to divorce and has concerns. At the beginning, I didn't know each other well because of blind date. At the urging of both families, I felt that both sides were suitable and didn't hate him, so I got married soon. Life after marriage was ok at first, although it didn't take long for me to find that my husband didn't feel bad for me at all. He can't see my contribution at all. Of course, it may also be that he thinks housework is a woman's business, so it means no contribution.

If that's the case, maybe life will go on. My sister began to feel cold after her divorce. After the divorce, my sister moved back to her parents' house. Because the house belongs to her in-laws, I have no problem with her moving back. But I don't want to take care of one more person, and I'm not an elder. Why? So after a while, my sister clamored to buy her own house, saying that it was uncomfortable to live in her mother's house.

It doesn't matter to me whether I buy a house or not. I never interrupt. Later, my sister did buy a house with a down payment and moved out. The day my sister moved out, I was ridiculed by my husband. He thought it must be my fault, so his sister moved out. I smiled and didn't say much. Between husband and wife, some things, if you need to explain, there is basically no need to explain, because if you say it, the other party will not believe it.

I quarreled with him because I found out that he gave our savings to my sister to buy a house. The money was negotiated when we got married, and we wanted to buy a house of our own. I questioned him, and my husband said that I was not sensible, that we have a house to live in now, and there is no need to worry about buying a house; Say that if you can't accommodate your divorced sister, your sister won't have to buy a house; My sister said it was too difficult for us to help her. I smiled angrily. I said, don't you know that there are some things you can't do? If my sister is sick or has something important today, I agree to help.

But if you buy a house, you will buy it if you have money, and you will not buy it if you have no money. It's simple. How can you not understand that saving the poor is not saving the poor? There is no business in my sister's shop. What should I do with this loan? Do you still have to help pay off the loan? But no matter what I say, my husband just feels that he is not wrong, just a sister, and her sister has also spoken and must help. I don't understand him, and then my savings don't exist with him. I thought he wouldn't be crazy even if he wanted to help. As a result, another year passed and I was pregnant. I once again confirmed with him how much savings I had.

Only then did I find out that my husband was really responsible for the loan of my sister's house. I was so angry that the child almost didn't save it. I told my husband, just keep it simple. No matter whether you call me sentimental or cold-blooded, if you continue to help your sister like this, then I will leave the child and get a divorce. For the sake of the children and not getting divorced, my husband agreed to give me the salary card. In the future, he only has a few hundred pocket money, and everything is prepared for the coming children.

I think I'm a good person. I immediately told my sister that I would not replace the loan in the future, told her to find a way to do it quickly, and said that she would be given another two months. I felt that I had done my best, and as a result, my sister was unhappy. She couldn't beat me, so she came to make a scene with my husband. Originally, she cried about things at home, and my husband would definitely not have the heart. But this time it didn't work, mainly because my husband wanted to have children, and more importantly, he has no money now.

Without her husband's help, my sister can't repay the loan soon. In order to continue to pay for the house, she has to find a job. From then on, she never mentioned her brother's dedication to herself, telling everyone how cold-blooded his brother was and refused to help his sister. What's more, he will never contact us again. My husband went to see his sister and got a sentence: I have no brother since you refused to pay my mortgage. Needless to say, we hope she can give us a hand. This is a daydream.

We have suffered a lot of unwarranted accusations, but we have also been sober by my husband. He finally realized that I was not wrong, but he was wrong. At the beginning, everything was for my sister, which led to the current rice race. He realized that he and his sister had been kidnapped by morality. His sister kept asking his brother for help under the guise of brotherly affection, regardless of his own living conditions. The younger brother described his wife's embarrassment as cold-blooded and selfish under the pretext of priceless affection, but eventually lost his affection and almost lost his marriage.

Last words: We should all understand that the maintenance of any relationship should be two-sided. Love, affection, stress is a kind of balance. For a long time, unilateral efforts often can't get good results, because the party who enjoys it is used to nature. Most people will be moved from initial dissatisfaction to final dissatisfaction. But if you are not in place at all, you will obliterate all your previous efforts.