Eloquence humor joke?

Super humorous jokes, pornographic jokes, obscene jokes, etc. And classic funny jokes can make people laugh. We use these jokes by exchanging words. Next, I have carefully prepared for you. Welcome to watch!

* * * Hot articles * * *

1. Once on the road, I had a sudden urgency to urinate, so I ran to the wild for convenience. The grass is half a man's depth. I always feel tied to * * * when I come out. Because my colleagues screamed so much, I couldn't go back and open my pants. I thought it was a weed, so leave it alone. When I got home, I unbuttoned my pants and saw a grasshopper lying bloody on me.

When I was in high school, I had a dog at home, and my mother treated it as a child. Once a classmate came to play at home, and my mother held the dog to open the door. Opening the door showed enthusiasm. My mother shook her dog's paw and said, "Call me brother." I don't know why my classmates are pumping their brains, so I shouted "Brother!" "

3. "Hand over your most valuable things!" Faced with the threat of robbers, my boyfriend pushed me out without saying anything. I didn't know whether to be moved or angry at that time.

I am as tired as a dog when I move bricks all day. I finally climbed home and fell asleep. I moved bricks all night in my fucking dream, and I couldn't get up at all in the morning.

My husband used to put his hand on my chest and rub it when he was watching TV and sleeping. After I got pregnant, I changed to touch my slowly bulging belly.

6. In geography class today, the teacher asked us, do you know what a wind power tower looks like? The deskmate said in our local dialect: looks like you. I laughed at that time.

7. Talk about a co-worker, cluck cluck, and several people pile up with each other. When they pile up to * * *, the people below have backache and can't stand it. He shouted, "My waist, my waist, my waist!" " As a result, the people above heard me want me to want me to want me to want me. While buying butterflies, the action is bigger.

I haven't lost my personality for a long time. I remember when I entered the factory, a colleague told me: You Cantonese are dirty and have to take a bath every day. We don't get dirty. We take a bath once a week. I am speechless!

9. The patients in the same ward are girlfriends, funny and sad. No sooner had he finished chemotherapy than the doctor prescribed antiemetic drugs for him. Then it changed to diarrhea, and the doctor prescribed antidiarrheal drugs. Then I changed my insomnia and the doctor prescribed * * *. Then the headache changed, and the doctor said helplessly that you should not take any medicine.

10. I met my brother in the canteen today and wanted to swipe my sister's card, but she wouldn't let me. I immediately took my sister's meal card back and broke it, leaving silently, hiding my merits and demerits and reputation. Come on, junior! Senior can only help you here!

* * * Classic * * *

1. A beautiful 25-year-old girl married a 60-year-old man. On the wedding night, the old man held out three fingers to the girl, and the girl said, "Wow, three times tonight?" The old man said, "Which finger did you choose?"

2. One of Einstein's girlfriends, call him. Finally, Einstein was asked to write down her telephone number so that she could call later. "My phone number is very long and difficult to remember." "Go ahead, I'm listening." Einstein didn't pick up the pen. "2436 1。" "What's hard to remember?" Einstein said, "I remember the squares of twenty and nineteen."

Sister-in-law is a nurse and works in a drugstore. Once an acquaintance of the boss came over and said, do you have that medicine? The drugstore owner gave a box of * * *. The next day, the guest came over and asked: Why do you feel hot and blush after taking the medicine for prostatitis?

4. A friend is waiting for the bus by the roadside. When the bus came, he found his legs numb and limped to the ground. On the bus, a little girl insisted on sitting down, but her buddy was introverted and embarrassed. She sat down when so many people argued. Soon I arrived at the station and found my leg healed, but the little girl sitting there was still there. My face hardened, and my buddy limped underground again. ...

5. Girl's father: "I have raised her for 20 years, why should I marry her to you!" Young man: "You only raised her for 20 years. I will continue to support her for 40 years, and I will support you for 30 years. Why don't you marry her to me? " ! "

6. Boyfriend and girlfriend quarreled, and the girlfriend said to her boyfriend, "I admit that I was wrong first, and then you are saying that I am right, okay?" The boyfriend agreed. The girlfriend said, "I was wrong." The boyfriend said, "You are absolutely right!"

7. Yesterday afternoon, I rode a scooter on the road unscrupulously, and was stopped by a traffic police at an intersection, asking me to show my driver's license. This is the rhythm of car impounding. When I took out my certificate and handed it to the police, I obviously saw his slightly disappointed expression.

8. The other day, I came to Foshan to play. My friend drank some wine, but I didn't, so I let him drive. Because the road is unfamiliar, I always ask him whether to turn left or right. I don't know if he is tired of asking, so I just want to leave without saying anything. After two red and green, I want to ask now! He said please go straight when you hear the next sound, but I have my own navigation.

9. A lady checked in at a hotel. After a while, the phone rang and she answered it. A man's voice: Do beautiful women need service? Ma 'am, you're ready to hang up. The man quickly said, You will be back in less than an hour, 200 yuan. The lady thought, I still don't believe it. Let's go The man came for more than ten minutes, gave 200 yuan and left. The lady looked straight at wait for a while and thought for a long time.

10. My daughter is three years old, and she doesn't understand gender. She insisted that the toilet she went to was a girls' toilet, so the only bathroom in the house was also labeled as a girls' toilet. Once, my father ran to the bathroom, and my daughter ran after him. Dad, you can't go to the ladies' room! ! Dad is so wronged.

* * * Selected Articles * * *

1. Grandma is old and has Alzheimer's disease. Dad couldn't take care of her, so he hired a foreign nanny to take care of her. I asked, Dad, why don't you hire a domestic nanny? The salary is low, and you can chat. Dad sighed: I invited you before, and your grandmother scolded you and ran away. Now this foreigner, your grandmother scolded her for not understanding.

My nephew can't walk, he is afraid to climb everywhere. When eating, we put him in the straight washing machine to play. At first he cried, then he stopped listening and didn't see his little head. I ran over and saw that the little guy was holding his own poop with two small hands and having fun! Seeing this scene, several of us vomited all our food!

I think women should choose hotel waiters as boyfriends. Why? Because the waiter never quarrels with the guests, almost all requirements can be met. All right! I'm just a poor waiter and I can't find a girlfriend yet!

4. I went fishing today and caught three or four catties of miscellaneous fish. Show off to his wife at home, "wife, you don't want me to * * *? Come on, hurry up and cook this fish before making an appetizer. " The wife came faintly, "Are you sick? Tell me to kill fish while watching your things. " Shit! Tea comes straight out of the nostrils.

5. An uncle went to the bank to withdraw money and went straight to the window. The security guard came over and said, "Grandpa, press the number." Grandpa: "What?" Security guard: "Press the number." Grandpa thought, it's really a big bank. If you need a secret code to withdraw money, he whispered to the security guard, "The king of heaven covers the land." The security guard had no choice but to help the old man press a queue ticket. The old man thought, You scared me to death, but I was right.

6. I went to have a barbecue last night and ordered the middle wing, which was delicious. I squatted on the ground next to me and thought the dog was cute, so I threw one to it. Then, then, it sniffed, looked at me and walked away. Really, I was rejected?

7. After work, I went to buy a bottle of Hezheng. The boss searched for a long time, but he couldn't find it. It's probably sold out. The boss said: "Hezheng changed its name to Jiaduobao!" Finally, I took Jiaduobao and left. ...

8. Dong Zhuo wanted to test his loyalty. He called all the ministers to his room and asked The Story Of Diu Sim to dance black with ink on his chest. Suddenly, the light went out and I couldn't see anything. I leaned over and the light came on. Zhuo regarded all ministers' hands as black, but Lu Bu's was white. Xin Ran said that Zhuobu was a loyal minister. Laugh, Lusic.

9. That summer, I swam in the river with my friends in the village and accidentally plunged into a sister's skirt. And that silly girl thought it was a big fish, and I almost suffocated in my skirt.

10. I remember when I was at school, a sister in my class told me that she was the kind with big breasts. I like her too. She asked me to go to a place where there were few people, and she volunteered that I was also holding hands. Finally, I couldn't be together, and now I can't let go of it every time I think about it, which leads to the loss of young memories.