Talk about people who have been hurt by verbal violence. What are their performances?

As the saying goes, "a good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June." Many times, physical pain can be forgotten over time until it disappears, but psychological harm, especially to those who have been subjected to verbal violence, may be bottomless or even incalculable.

What is verbal violence? The famous American Dr. Marshall Luxembourg mentioned in his book Non-violent Communication: "Language violence refers to verbal accusation, ridicule, preaching, interruption, denial or random evaluation."

So how much harm can language violence do to a person? Mainly in the following three aspects:

Imagine that if parents often use verbal violence against their children and habitually accuse and criticize their children's mistakes in the name of love, they always deny their children's practices and educate them by preaching.

In the long run, children will only feel that they are not respected, and even feel that their parents don't love themselves enough. Gradually, they will easily have negative feelings of inferiority, timidity and even incompetence, and when they grow up, they will easily have negative emotions because of failure.

Makarenko, an outstanding educator in the Soviet Union, once said, "We should ask as many people as possible and respect as much as possible."

Although children are young, they have the same emotional world as adults, sometimes they are more sensitive than adults, because they are good at observing and imitating, and they expect to be respected and cared for more than their parents. If parents don't realize this, just treating their children from their own perspective with their own understanding will only cause endless psychological harm to their children.

If parents don't give timely affirmation and encouragement, children will never get their parents' attention and recognition, no matter how hard they work and how motivated they are. They always feel that they can't do anything, and they always lack confidence in themselves, which leads to their inability to overcome all kinds of difficulties and challenges in the future.

Therefore, as parents, we should know how to educate our children, instead of "talking nonsense" as advocated in the book "A good mother is better than a good teacher": "Only by educating on the premise of respecting personality and individuality can we cultivate a real' person'."

Many victims of language violence, such as "human flesh search" because of the fragmentation of network information, suffer from network violence, which has caused great harm to their daily life and body and mind.

Some of their behaviors are misunderstood because of prejudice or improper understanding. Some of them may be just so-called rumors or spoofs, which insult the victims' personality, and even some victims are forced not to go out, resulting in their normal interpersonal communication being restricted and becoming "social death".

For example, some time ago, Ms. Wu, who was single in Hangzhou, was photographed for taking a courier, but it was rumored that a married young woman and the courier were not in proper relationship. For a time, there was a lot of abuse on the Internet, and everyone suddenly became the embodiment of justice. Standing on the commanding heights of morality, they insulted Ms. Wu's "indiscretion", and even many people searched for her real information, which caused serious harm to her normal life and body and mind.

No matter how she explained it, she could not be understood by others, which led to her limited job search and great mental pressure. She suffered from depression at one time. Because of the "bad taste" of a few people and the forged pictures that have not been verified in practice, Ms. Wu embarked on a difficult road of comeback, terrible rumors and terrible cyber violence!

Some people say, "rumor is the lowest cost weapon, it only needs an idea and a tongue."

Terrible language violence, it destroys not only a person, but also all the sustenance and hope of a person. I hope everyone will keep their eyes open and not follow the unconfirmed things, because sometimes what they see may not be true, and a casual gossip may drag others into the endless abyss. So don't judge without knowing the whole picture.

I still remember the heroine Lu Yao in the movie "Regret for the Past", because of physical reasons, she was mistaken by her classmates for disorderly behavior. Coupled with the economic difficulties at home, Lu Yao, who has a sense of inferiority, suffered endless violence and exclusion from her classmates' language, which made her sensitive and fragile mind struggle like purgatory, leading to mental breakdown and even suicide by jumping into the sea.

I still remember that before she jumped into the sea, she gave a final roar to her classmates who had been violent on campus: "If I can never forget, if I can't forget how I was bullied and insulted by you ..... you called me the worst thing and made up the worst nickname. If I can't forget, you can't forget it." Then she ran to the cold and gloomy sea without looking back, jumped and never came back.

Students are a beautiful age, and they have many beautiful pursuits and fantasies. However, due to the endless campus violence, students who suffer from it cannot attend classes normally and enjoy a normal life. On the contrary, because of constant language violence, they live in painful despair, because they often bear great mental pressure, causing indelible psychological shadows and even making irreparable extreme behaviors.

Many students who have suffered bullying or verbal violence on campus, even if they enter the society as adults, will still leave a lingering shadow in their hearts because of their previous injuries. Some may close their hearts, dare not open old scars, deceive themselves by escaping, and some even need to spend a lifetime healing.

As the saying goes, people are awesome. Many times, our casual words may bring great influence and harm to the growth and life of others. Maybe it's just a joke or a noncommittal remark to us, but the speaker is not interested in the listener.

As Arun Gandhi, the founder of the Institute of Nonviolence, said, "Let respect, understanding, appreciation, gratitude, sympathy and friendship dominate life, not selfishness, greed, hatred, prejudice, doubt and hostility, but let love blend into life!"

I hope we can take this opportunity to encourage you!