If a child falls in love prematurely, how can parents guide him correctly?

How should parents guide their children when they find signs of puppy love? Rather than explicitly stopping children's puppy love behavior, it is better to provide reasonable guidance and help children grow. Here, we take a look at five steps for parents to guide their children correctly after discovering that they are in early love!

How do parents guide their children to fall in love early?

To deal with children’s puppy love, you can start from these four basic principles: 1. Acceptance; 2. It should be like Dayu in controlling floods, rather than using cannons to control floods and remove blockages. 3. Communicate openly and trust your children. 4. Let your child know that you love him, so you are worried about him. When children fall in love at a young age, what should parents do? let's see.

The correct way for parents to guide their children into early love

The first step. The child admitted that he fell in love early.

Warm reminder: If your child does not admit that he is in love, and you already have sufficient evidence to know that he is in love, parents must not dwell on the issue of lying. You can go directly to the third step.

For example:

Parents with severe perfectionism tend to have strict requirements for their children. From childhood to adulthood, the basic requirement for them is: you don’t have to answer, I respect your privacy, but you must not lie to me. In fact, how do children "remain silent" under pressure from their parents? He will eventually give you an answer. The parents found out that their children were lying and were furious: How could my child lie? Has more than ten years of education failed like this? !

As a result, his parents stayed away from the subject of puppy love and struggled with him about lying for several months. As a result, he lied more and more, and the relationship between parents and children became increasingly tense. The question then shifts to lying first. Why do children lie? The main reason why children lie is because their parents are too strict and the children are afraid of being punished, so they lie. Parents are very opposed to early love, and children are afraid of being punished, so they dare not admit the fact that they are in love. Parents always condemn their children and say they have no future, but rarely reflect on their own problems. In fact, as long as they lower their authority, children will always be honest with you.

Step 2: Praise the child first, whether it is right or wrong.

You can say: "Son (daughter), you are starting to like girls (boys). When you grow up, my parents are very happy!"

This is not to encourage children to grow up since childhood. Fall in love, but "save the country through curves". Children think that their feelings are pure and beautiful, but parents usually think that their children have done things they shouldn't have done or thought things they shouldn't have thought, so conflicts between parents and children arise. If parents treat their children with an accepting attitude, and the children feel that their feelings are accepted and appreciated by their parents, they will confide their worries to you, and you can have further communication.

After he talks about the characteristics of the person he likes, you have to add, "When you grow up, your parents are very happy, but we still don't know how you plan to treat this relationship?

Children always rely on their parents. As long as parents treat their children with an accepting attitude, they will often tell their parents what they are doing. For example, if a girl tells her where the boy wants to go, you can tell the child, "That place may not be good." Well, we don’t know much about him either. You can also take the opportunity to tell your daughter, "Girls, you must learn to protect yourself. Never have physical contact with boys, and never stay alone in a room with boys." "You also have to remind her: "Son, mother (father) is afraid that you will suffer a loss. If a boy really loves you, he will never do anything to hurt you. If he makes excessive demands, then he is only interested in your body and not really in love with you. You must stay away from him. "You can also tell her, "Your task now is to study, just socialize at school, and go home after school (the school is managed by teachers). ”

Knowing that children like the opposite sex to show encouragement is not uncommon in Western movies, but it is difficult for Chinese parents. In this regard, Chinese parents should learn from Western parents. It is not that parents should It's not enough to let the child wear a condom, but parents must learn to respect human nature. Imagine if both parents object, especially the girl's parents. If she is hurt at home, she will definitely cry to the boy and demand compensation. Feeling guilty, you will want to protect the girl even more. The result will be a war between two children and two parents.

The more you ban them, the closer their relationship will become. Therefore, when a child falls in love early, he or she must be brought back with love. True love can be summarized as "unconditional acceptance".

Step 3: Share your love experience with your children.

Children are growing up and have feelings for the opposite sex, but they have no experience. At this time, parents must find ways to induce their children to talk to themselves about their emotional growth. In undemocratic families, children often remain silent. At this time, you can tell her (him) your experience. Often, children are interested in their parents' romantic experiences. Note that the conversation must be based on a friend's suggestion rather than an authority's compulsion, so as not to offend the child. For example, a father talks to his son and a mother talks to her daughter. It can be said that my father fell in love with a girl when he was fourteen years old. It was sweet and painful to find out............. ................................................................. ................................................................. .................. Let your children know that the favorable impression they have of the opposite sex during their teenage years will fade as they grow older. Those are not real love, they are just psychological stimulation caused by the gradual physical maturity of adolescence. I just like them a little bit. He likes it, but it doesn't represent the future. There will be many variables in the future. Liking only represents an identity and mutual appreciation with him. You can consider him as your friend.

When a child understands his parents’ experiences, he can regard love as a beautiful memory in life, rather than a lasting future. He will think that the most important thing to do now is study, and he will readjust the energy and time he spends on it. At this time, if your child says: I know everything, but I just like him and can’t concentrate in class. what do I do?

Step 4: Guide him to communicate. There may be unexpected gains.

Children cannot control their own hearts. You can ask them to tell you about their relationship, ask about the time and place of the relationship, and ask about some communication topics and contact information. As long as you have a good parent-child relationship, he will agree. That way, at least, you'll know where things are going. What's more, you also know that it is unstoppable at this time. Otherwise, what can we do?

The most negative impact of this is that his enthusiasm will gradually disappear over time. There may be unexpected gains. For example, a parent's child's "girlfriend" is sick and hospitalized. He went to the hospital to see her. He didn't tell his parents the first time, and he lied when he came back. I have close contact with my parent’s head teacher. If I had known in time, I would have told him, "Mom knows that you went to the hospital to see her. After dating for so long, if you don't go see her, your mother will still think you are heartless. You did the right thing." Then, His parents asked him about going to the hospital. It is conceivable that when a girl is hospitalized, her parents will definitely be taking care of her, and he will definitely not have the opportunity to express concern. He said: "I went with a classmate. I stayed for more than an hour without saying anything. His parents were there." His parents secretly laughed. It seemed that he was also worried about being scolded by his parents, so he brought a classmate with him. His parents told him: "Take time to buy some nutritional supplements and go take a look." He went to visit for the second time and came back to report to his parents.

Parents must think about this issue clearly - if you don’t let him watch it, he will definitely watch it secretly and use money to buy things. This money may come from borrowing money or saving money on food. Rather than letting him be sneaky, it's better to behave openly.

Step 5: Tell the child why.

This can only be the last step. Many parents try their best to reason with their children right away. Don't you know that if your child doesn't handle his emotions well, he won't listen to your hype. Once people get caught up in their emotions,

I don't hear any reason why. When he gets lost, you can chase him.

At this time, you can tell him the principle of establishing a career first and then starting a family, such as "When a country is strong, other countries will take the initiative to approach you; only good girls will appreciate you if a man is capable"; you can also tell him "Do things in spring" "It's beautiful because of waiting" etc.; or tell him the difference between friendship and love, etc. , and remind high school children that at this time, learning comes first.

In addition, in order to keep adolescent children with excess energy away from emotional distress, you can try to shift their emotional goals. For example, if he likes to play basketball, buy it for him. When he is busy, he does not dream of doing nothing.

How should parents guide their children when they find signs of puppy love? Rather than explicitly stopping children's puppy love behavior, it is better to provide reasonable guidance and help children grow. Here, we take a look at five steps for parents to guide their children correctly after discovering that they are in early love!

How do parents guide their children to fall in love early?

To deal with children’s puppy love, you can start from these four basic principles: 1. Acceptance; 2. It should be like Dayu in controlling floods, rather than using cannons to control floods and remove blockages. 3. Communicate openly and trust your children. 4. Let your child know that you love him, so you are worried about him. When children fall in love at a young age, what should parents do? let's see.

The correct way for parents to guide their children into early love

The first step. The child admitted that he fell in love early.

Warm reminder: If your child does not admit that he is in love, and you already have sufficient evidence to know that he is in love, parents must not dwell on the issue of lying. You can go directly to the third step.

For example:

Parents with severe perfectionism tend to have strict requirements for their children. From childhood to adulthood, the basic requirement for them is: you don’t have to answer, I respect your privacy, but you must not lie to me. In fact, how do children "remain silent" under pressure from their parents? He will eventually give you an answer. The parents found out that their children were lying and were furious: How could my child lie? Has more than ten years of education failed like this? !

As a result, his parents stayed away from the subject of puppy love and struggled with him about lying for several months. As a result, he lied more and more, and the relationship between parents and children became increasingly tense. The question then shifts to lying first. Why do children lie? The main reason why children lie is because their parents are too strict and the children are afraid of being punished, so they lie. Parents are very opposed to early love, and children are afraid of being punished, so they dare not admit the fact that they are in love. Parents always condemn their children and say they have no future, but rarely reflect on their own problems. In fact, as long as they lower their authority, children will always be honest with you.

Step 2: Praise the child first, whether it is right or wrong.

You can say: "Son (daughter), you are starting to like girls (boys). When you grow up, my parents are very happy!"

This is not to encourage children to grow up since childhood. Fall in love, but "save the country through curves". Children think their feelings are pure and beautiful, but parents usually think that their children have done things they shouldn't do or have some thoughts they shouldn't have, so conflicts arise between parents and children. If parents treat their children with an accepting attitude, and the children feel that their feelings are accepted and appreciated by their parents, they will confide their worries to you, and you can have further communication.

After he talks about the characteristics of the person he likes, you have to add, "When you grow up, your parents are very happy, but we still don't know how you plan to treat this relationship?

Children always rely on their parents. As long as parents treat their children with an accepting attitude, they will often tell their parents what they are doing. For example, if a girl says that a boy wants to go somewhere, you can tell the child, "That place may not be good." Well, we don’t know much about him either. You can also take the opportunity to tell your daughter, "Girls, you must learn to protect yourself. Never have physical contact with boys, and never stay alone in a room with boys." "You also have to remind her: "Son, mother (father) is afraid that you will suffer a loss. If a boy really loves you, he will never do anything to hurt you. If he makes excessive demands, then he is only interested in your body and not really in love with you. You must stay away from him.

"You can also tell her, "Your task now is to study, just socialize at school, and go home after school (the school is managed by teachers). ”

Knowing that children like the opposite sex to show encouragement is not uncommon in Western movies, but it is difficult for Chinese parents. In this regard, Chinese parents should learn from Western parents. It is not that parents should be open-minded When it comes to wearing condoms for children, parents must learn to respect human nature. Imagine if both parents object, especially the girl's parents. If she is hurt at home, she will definitely cry to the boy and demand compensation. Feeling guilty, you will want to protect the girl. The result will be a war between the two children and the two parents. The more you prohibit them, the closer their relationship will become. Therefore, if the child falls in love early, you must love him (her). ) Pull back, true love can be summarized as "unconditional acceptance"

Step 3: Share your love experience with your children

Children are growing up and have feelings for the opposite sex. , but there is no experience. At this time, parents must find ways to induce their children to talk about their emotional growth. In undemocratic families, children usually do not speak. At this time, you can tell her (him) your experience. Parents are interested in their love experiences. Pay attention to the fact that the conversation must be the suggestion of a friend, not the force of the authority, so as not to disgust the child. For example, it can be said that the father fell in love with a child when he was fourteen years old. Girl, it’s sweet and painful to know...................................... ................................................................. ................................................................. .. Let your children know that the affection they have for the opposite sex in their teenage years will fade as they grow older. These are not true loves, but are just psychological triggers caused by the gradual physical maturity of adolescence. They just like them a little bit. That's it. He likes you very much, but it doesn't mean that there will be many changes in the future. Like, it just means that you have a mutual appreciation for him.

When a child understands his parents' experience, he will be able to regard love as a beautiful memory in his life, rather than a lasting future. He will think that the most important thing to do now is to study, and he will readjust the energy and time he spends on it. . At this time, if your child says: I know everything, but I just like him and can’t concentrate in class.

Step 4: There may be unexpected things. Harvest.

Children can’t control their own hearts. You can ask them to tell you about their relationship, ask about the time and place of the relationship, and ask about some communication topics and contact information. As long as you have a good parent-child relationship, he can. I agreed. In this way, at least you can know the progress of the matter. What's more, you also know that it is unstoppable at this time.

What is the most negative impact of this? , his enthusiasm will gradually fade over time. There may be unexpected gains. For example, a parent's child's "girlfriend" is sick and hospitalized. He went to the hospital to see her. He didn't tell his parents the first time, and he lied when he came back. I have close contact with my parent’s head teacher. If I had known in time, I would have told him, "Mom knows that you went to the hospital to see her. After dating for so long, if you don't go see her, your mother will still think you are heartless. You did the right thing." Then, His parents asked him about going to the hospital. It is conceivable that when a girl is hospitalized, her parents will definitely be taking care of her, and he will definitely not have the opportunity to express concern. He said: "I went with a classmate. I stayed for more than an hour without saying anything. His parents were there." His parents secretly laughed. It seemed that he was also worried about being scolded by his parents, so he brought a classmate with him. His parents told him: "Take time to buy some nutritional supplements and go take a look." He went to visit for the second time and came back to report to his parents.

Parents must think about this issue clearly - if you don’t let him watch it, he will definitely watch it secretly and use money to buy things. This money may come from borrowing money or saving money on food.

Rather than letting him be sneaky, it's better to behave openly.

Step 5: Tell the child why.

This can only be the last step. Many parents try their best to reason with their children right away. Don't you know that if your child doesn't handle his emotions well, he won't listen to your hype. Once people get caught up in their emotions,

I don't hear any reason why. When he gets lost, you can chase him. At this time, you can tell him the principle of establishing a career first and then starting a family, such as "When a country is strong, other countries will take the initiative to approach you; only good girls will appreciate you if a man is capable"; you can also tell him "Do things in spring" "It's beautiful because of waiting" etc.; or tell him the difference between friendship and love, etc. , and remind high school children that at this time, learning comes first.

In addition, in order to keep adolescent children with excess energy away from emotional distress, you can try to shift their emotional goals. For example, if he likes to play basketball, buy it for him. When he is busy, he does not dream of doing nothing.