A funny joke.

A funny joke. In real life, many funny jokes can bring us a happy mood. This kind of joke has a funny effect. Here are some funny jokes.

Funny joke +0 1. I often wrote to you, but then you fell in love with the postman.

I tried to close the refrigerator door slowly and see when the lights went out.

3. If you don't listen, you don't understand, if you understand, you don't do it, you make a mistake, you don't recognize it, you don't change it, you don't accept it, and you don't say it! What do you want me to say about you?

4, efforts may not be successful, but it is really easy not to work hard.

When you want to succeed, you should regard persistence as your good friend.

6. You are nice, but you are a little ugly.

7. I miss you at night, but I don't forget when I am depressed.

8. If life betrays me, I hope it is because of my weight.

9. Are there any healing sentences? For example, Alipay received 10000 yuan.

10, sharpen the knife and don't miss the woodcutter, and finish junior high school.

1 1, you only look thin when I am fat, lest I look ugly when I am thin.

12, listen to me, you have lost several times, but you will make a comeback.

13. The best way to ruin a good song is to set it as an alarm.

14, my daughter is incompetent and will only think of you, but she can't make you admire yourself.

15. It is said that many people look at the time in the morning not to get up, but to see how long they can sleep.

16 The road to success is always under construction.

17, salted fish will turn over one day, but it is still salted fish after turning over.

18, I will never let others down, because I have done it before I promised others!

19, everything will be fine. All shall be well, jack shall have Jill, but there are countless heartless people.

20. The only thing in the world that you can get for nothing is poverty. The only thing you can create from nothingness is a dream. Nothing can be done without hands. Although the world is cruel, as long as you are willing to go, there will always be a way!

2 1, when I hate someone, if this person suddenly says that he likes me, then I don't hate each other at all. It's so principled. You can't hate a man with vision.

22. The well is not without water, but is not dug deep enough.

23. There is nothing wrong with this world. You are ugly and have no money.

24, the sky is gray, the eyes are dim, and the days without money are too long!

25. Love is that if there is no better choice, I will accompany you forever.

At that time, my ambition won the world, and now I retire only for him.

27. The height of life is not how many things you approve, but how many things you underestimate. The width of the soul is not how many people you know, but how many people you tolerate. Be a mountain, look at everything and be inclusive. Being a man is like water, you can advance and retreat, but you must know how to advance and retreat.

28. Every child who loves to sleep late has a lover who is hard to give up. TA's name is bed.

29, it's okay to drop my mobile phone so many times. Later, I thought it was my height that saved it.

30. When you choose others, you should also think about letting others choose yourself. When testing others, we should also think about letting others test ourselves. People who can't sell themselves rarely make great achievements in their lives.

A funny joke. 2 1. The daughter asked her mother, "Why don't you buy a motorcycle?" Mother replied, "I have no money and can't afford it." The daughter said, "When I grow up and earn money, I will buy you a motorcycle, and then you can take me to kindergarten by motorcycle."

2. A puppy climbed onto the dining table and rubbed against a roast chicken. The shopkeeper was furious: I'll do whatever you dare to do to that roast chicken. The dog licked the chicken's ass. The master fainted. The puppy said happily, look who's good!

Xiaoming got his summer homework and complained to the teacher: "This is too thick!" Teacher: "Well, how about I thin it by a quarter?" Xiao Ming: "Good." So the teacher turned to the end of the book and quickly tore up all the reference answers.

Seven years after graduation, I finally accepted a big project to build a 30-meter chimney. The construction period is two months, and the cost is 300,000, but it still needs funding. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig wells!

When I was a child, every time I walked at night, I always felt that someone was following me, so I developed the habit of turning around after a few steps. Ten years later, I became a tango teacher.

6. My mother likes playing mahjong, but then I was born. My mother resolutely gave up mahjong for me and my family because she thought it was more interesting to hit me.

7. My neighbor's grandmother keeps a Hal named' Haha'. One day, when the dog got lost, the grandmother went out and shouted: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

8. I was walking on the road on a rainy day, and a big rush flew by me and splashed me with mud. Looking at the big rush in the distance, I secretly vowed in my heart that when I have money, I must buy a raincoat of my own.

9. Brothers meet again. After drinking, he said drunkenly, "As long as I eat shit, you drink urine." . I was very moved: "As long as you can eat enough, I will be thirsty." .

10, accompany a buddy to have a blood test. This friend is afraid. The doctor said, "Don't be afraid, relax. Hey, it's okay." It doesn't hurt at all. "At this time the elder brothers put a fart. The doctor said, "What's the matter? "This guy said," It's so relaxing! " The doctor was even more amused and said, "I'll go!" "Scared me to death, I thought I had leaked it to you!"

1 1. I told my colleagues at work that I wanted to get a pet, but I didn't know what to get. Colleague said, "You can have a dog or a cat. I said it was too much trouble. It is best to raise a life that can take care of itself and eat less. " The goods came: "I think you are suitable for raising mosquitoes!" " "

12, a millionaire was told that he was terminally ill, with only the second half of the year left. He was very sad and found a killer to kill him at the happiest time. A few days later, the millionaire was told that he was misdiagnosed, laughed happily and was killed by the killer.

13, lying in bed playing mobile phone at night, my goddess sent a message, would you like to be my boyfriend? Shit, when I was someone, I replied decisively: roll your legs, I like you so much in the lower bunk, and you treat him like this! Then I hacked her and returned the phone to the upper bunk.

14. I couldn't bear to see a beggar on the roadside, so I put it in his bowl 10 yuan. At the moment I turned to leave, he stopped me: "Sir, I'll give you 2 yuan." I'm a little surprised. He explained, "Today is the anniversary of the Beggars' Guild, and the audience is 20% off. "

15, wearing a leopard coat in the morning, a couple passed me with their children in their arms. Her children pointed at me and shouted: Mom, mom, look, Tigress!

16. The hospital has 100 fences to prevent patients from escaping. Two mental patients still want to escape from the hospital. So I try to climb over the wall at night. Turn to the thirtieth wall. "Are you tired?" "Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards. Turn under the 60th wall. "Are you tired?" "Not tired." So the two continued to turn outward and turned to the 99 th wall. "Are you tired?" "Tired!" "Well, let's go back."

17, teacher: I want you to write a people-oriented and focused composition. Xiao Ming: Teacher, I have thought it over. I will write about my grandmother. Teacher: Does your grandmother have any outstanding aspects? Xiaoming: My grandmother has a lumbar disc herniation.

18, although often married, but God knows his wife is not unreasonable. She always asks my permission before calling. When I said no, she called me and said yes.

19, married for many years, sleeping until midnight, my husband suddenly turned and hugged me and said, wife: this life is too short. Hearing my husband say this, I was moved to tears. My husband went on to say: I can't even cover my feet.

20. I turned down three more boys. I am really an excellent woman. Looking at their distant backs, I feel a little lonely. I can only say sorry silently. I really can't afford your real estate, insurance and wealth management products.

3 1. Today, I heard a little girl singing a windmill, which suffocated her internal injuries. She sang like this: "The windmill is turning, damn it, it's so beautiful ..."

2. I had breakfast in the school cafeteria today, and a boy squatted on a stool to eat.

A teacher walked by with his son. The child said, "Dad, why does that brother eat when he goes to the toilet?"

3. Son: "Dad, are everything you told me right?"

Dad: "Of course, you have to trust Dad."

Son: "Why did the teacher tell me to believe in myself?"

4. My daughter goes to primary school at the age of six, and her husband picks her up every day. One day, when my husband sent his daughter away, he said with emotion, "Dad worked hard to send you to school and buy breakfast for his mother."

The daughter disagreed: "The wolf is like this! Much more pitiful than you, you will be beaten when you go back. "

5. That day, I picked out the best homework and the worst homework in the kindergarten class for everyone to see: "This is Xiaoya's homework, which is not only well written, but also clean and tidy. This is Yang Yang's. It is not only badly written, but also dirty. Do you know why? "

Xiao Qiang, who usually loves to grab words, raised his hand and shouted: "Teacher, I know! Because Xiaoya's father is a cleaner and Yang Yang's father is a coal digger. "

A complete collection of jokes and stories that can make people laugh.

1, the mother took her son upstairs and accidentally flashed her waist, looking miserable.

The son asked with concern, "Mom, what's wrong with you?"

Mom: "I'm flashing."

The son pointed to the flickering sound control light in the corridor and said, "Oh, did the light bulb flash your waist?"

2. Kindergartens engage in parent-child activities and require family-based performances. Our family plays the story of Song Wu killing a tiger. I played Song Wu, my wife played the tiger, and my son recited it.

After the performance, I asked my son, "Are you confident of winning the prize?"

The son responded lightly: "Do you still want to win the prize? Just make do with it. "

I was surprised and said, "What, isn't your mother's tiger ugly?"

My son glanced at my wife and me and said, "It's not hard for mom to fight tigers. You play Song Wu, a bit like Song Wu. "

3. Mom: What do you want to eat? Mom made it for you.

Daughter: Anything will do.

Mom: The water is cut off again. Why do you always go home?

Daughter: I really didn't mean to. If there is another flood, let me go to the front to fight the flood!

A stingy child in the class handed me a ham.

I am very happy in my heart, because he never gave any snacks to any child, and almost stole them himself.

I exulted, or I have weight in his heart, and quickly said in a warm and high-sugar voice: The teacher doesn't eat, you eat, be good!

He said quietly, you bite it open. ...

My son interprets "two sides and three knives" as "two bags and three knives", which makes me laugh and cry.

I said to my son, "duplicity means ulterior motives, one front and one back, not what you think."

My son smiled and said to me, "Dad, I get it. You are so nice to her in front of her mother, and you always speak ill of her behind her back. These are two sides! " "