I kept hiding the dirty things I had to do, which makes me feel so uncomfortable.

I think since you have said that you have to do dirty things, so no matter what, the fact that you feel uncomfortable and guilty proves that your nature is good, and you keep hiding it like this, you must be sure in your heart It's so uncomfortable. You need to talk to someone to relieve your guilt. You can talk to a good friend you trust, or you can tell your mother. I believe your mother will forgive you! You can also talk to strangers online. This is the safest way. It won’t expose yourself and can you? Tell us! This way you won't feel so bad. I believe everyone will forgive you. You also said that you had no choice but to do it, which proves that you have a kind heart. If you don't say it out and keep it in your heart, something will definitely happen to you. If you say it boldly, no matter what others think of you, you will feel calm and relieved. I also believe that everyone will understand you. Yes, you are not bad at heart. I hope you look forward and your future is bright.