Inspiring and funny jokes

Life is full of fun. You have to find your own funny jokes in life. You can use them among friends, family members or partners. It can also lighten the atmosphere. Next, I will elaborate for you. Welcome to watch the "Inspiring and Funny Jokes" prepared by us!

Inspiring and Funny Jokes (Popular)

1. Last night, Romney felt that he had a chance to win, and he confidently faced The wife said: ?Tomorrow night you can sleep with the President of the United States. ?The election results were just announced on TV: Obama won. The wife said excitedly: Should we invite Obama to our house, or should I go to his place?!

2. How will you spend it if you give me 2.4 billion U.S. dollars? Answer: My life is cheap, so I just love it. When I get rich, I buy a big company and let others run it. I go to work as a security guard on time every day (@Yupi male number one)

3. About why Linghu Chong is matched in "The Swordsman" Ren Yingying should not choose junior sister, analyze it objectively. Yue Lingshan: She can do martial arts, cook, and work as a female worker. She has a good reputation and a high reputation. Ren Yingying: I can play the flute. As long as you are a man, you should choose Ren Yingying!

4. When a couple is together, even if the boy is telling bad jokes that have been uploaded on the Internet, he will still laugh, and his cheeks will turn red from the dirty jokes, and he will be very interested. A girl who listens to men's bragging? A smart girl; when a couple is together, the girl who tells the beginning of a boy's story will tell the end immediately, knows the dirty jokes instantly and is discovered by the boy, and will seriously point out the logical loopholes in the other person's bragging? A strong woman.

5. In the north, slightly spicy means "a symbolic use of some chili peppers", while in Ningxiang, Changsha, slightly spicy means "a symbolic use of less chili peppers".

6. When I took my son to go shopping, I met an acquaintance who was selling cherries. The acquaintance asked the child to grab a handful of cherries. The child hesitated and did not do it. ?Don’t you like cherries? An old acquaintance asked. ?Love to eat. ? So, the old acquaintance grabbed a handful of cherries and stuffed them into the child's pocket. On the way home, the mother asked her son: Why didn’t you take the cherries when your uncle asked you to take them? Because his hands are bigger than mine. ?

7. My cousin’s primary school math problem, is this math problem going against the sky?

8. Once I was accompanying two foreign customers on a bus, and a man had been here for half a year. I'm used to all kinds of life. Another woman came here two days ago. When the traffic light was green and the car was crossing the intersection, the female customer asked me in panic whether in China, whether the green light or the red light should go first, she didn't wait for me to say. I have been here for half a year and said, "The brave ones go first."

9. I had nothing to do in the office today. I was playing with a magnet, and my boss saw me. The leader reached out to take it, but with a swish, the magnet attracted the leader's gold ring. . .

10. The elevator was about to close, and suddenly, "Wait a minute?", a charming beauty came hurriedly. After the beauty squeezed in, the elevator warned that she was overweight. The beauty shook her head, smiled at me, and got out of the elevator. However, the elevator still indicated that it was overweight. I understand that it was the beauty who left her heart in the elevator! I stepped out of the elevator with my head held high, but the elevator still said it was overweight, and an aunt shouted: Young man, your integrity is all over the place...

Inspiring and funny jokes (classics)

1. During the cold war with my best friend, the girl shook me on QQ at noon and sent me a question. I was confused and embarrassed to ask her what she meant. , so I copied and pasted it and asked my friends what it was. A cousin gave a simple and powerful answer. The meaning of this thing in Excel is called automatic summation

2. I had planned to name my future child, and the boy was named Daye. The girl's name is Ono. In this way, the teachers and classmates would call her affectionately and sweetly: Master! Master! As a result, I saw a news report today that Han Han named his daughter Xiaoye. . . You celebrities, please pay attention, okay? My plans have been disrupted again, okay! (@二比vasily)

3. The reason for smoking is very simple: Grandpa smokes, dad also smokes, it’s his turn I can't cut off the incense.

4. Elementary school math question: There are 75 cows and 34 sheep on a boat. How old is the captain?

5. "What kind of girl do you like?"? I like to be tall. of bad girls.

?Then what do you think of me kissing? I like girls who are naughty rather than ugly. I will fuck them non-stop!!?

6. One year on the school anniversary, a ceremony was held. During the period, the host asked questions, and students were randomly selected to answer. There were small gifts for correct answers, and it was question time again. The host’s question was: Who is the longest-living emperor in history? He chose a weirdo from our class, and that’s right. The microphone replied leisurely: "The Jade Emperor." . . ?The leaders in the three rows in front suffered from internal injuries, and our head teacher’s face instantly became full of black lines.

7. A man went to a restaurant to eat and said to the proprietress: "Bring me a bowl of beef noodles. It's watery without soup." ?The landlady went to report his meal to him. After a while, the chef came out with a kitchen knife: "Come and tell me how to cook it, come on!"

8. One night I was walking by Weiming Lake and saw a pair of junior students learning how to cook. The girl was sitting there watching the scenery, and then the wind started to blow. The boy gently leaned into the girl's ear and said, "Can I hug you when it's cold?" The girl looked at him shyly and said, "No?" I thought to myself. He couldn't miss a great opportunity like I did, so he kicked the girl into the lake with all his strength and ran away? Come on, junior, this is all the senior can do for you?

9. I remember that when I was in the second grade of junior high school, the homework given by the English teacher was a paper. When I went home at night and there was no electricity, I lit candles and worked on it. When the big questions came later, I couldn’t do it, so I just wrote that paper. The question burned a hole. Unexpectedly, I was praised after I handed in my homework the next day. The teacher said that everyone should study. There was no electricity at night, so I had to light a candle to finish my homework.

10. One day, Xiao Ming went to school. His classmates said his face looked like his butt. Xiao Ming ran out sadly. Came to a well. He stuck his head into the well to see if he really looked like a butt. Just as he put his head in, the digger at the bottom of the well suddenly shouted to him: "You're going to die if you dare to shit down there!!!"

Inspiring and funny jokes (selected) Chapter)

1. Let me tell you, if you are on a bus, never give up your seat to an old lady? I gave up last time, but they never let me be a driver again!

2. When the teacher was correcting the essay "My Teacher", he found this paragraph: Teacher, you are like a hard-working gardener who has sent away students one after another, and now you are sending us away again. It turns out The student mistakenly wrote the word "semester" as "temple". Teacher's comment: When I leave this "temple" of yours, I will no longer be a gardener, but an abbot.

3. Who the hell added the two eyes~~~ It made me laugh to death~

4. Throw two Cheerios into the coffee cup, and then. .

5. My wife is so hard-working that I can’t bear it! What’s wrong? I get up at five in the morning and drink some water. But when I returned to the house, she had already folded the quilt and was cooking. ?

6. The coach encourages female students who have just obtained their driver’s licenses to drive boldly on the road. Female student:? I'm afraid of the coach:? What are you afraid of! I'm afraid of others, not you!?

7. In the Internet cafe, a woman came in, looked around, came to a boy, and picked up The boy cursed in his ears: "Didn't you go to the teacher's house to make up lessons?" The boy protected his ears while staring at the screen and yelled: "Dad, someone hit me!" The man was furious: "Where is he? I'll take care of him." !? Unexpectedly, the woman came to him again, picked up his ear, and cursed: "Didn't you go to work overtime?"

8. I got up early to catch the bus, and finally waited for one, but it didn't come. I couldn't squeeze in. So the driver said to me: I'll start the car first, drive slowly, and you can run behind the car. I wondered: What does this mean? I ran behind the car, and when I saw the car drove a few meters, Suddenly there was a sudden brake, and the passengers in the car couldn't hold it anymore and they all backed to the front of the car, leaving a large space at the back door. At this time, the driver proudly greeted me: Come on!

9. A mother working in a foreign company unexpectedly found that her breast milk stored in the company refrigerator was missing 40ml. It was said that a colleague took it for flushing Got coffee. . .

10. Meeting a girl for the second time on a blind date.

MM wanted to show off her "Ai Crazy" mobile phone, and I pretended to have never played with "Ai Crazy" before and asked her about various functions. Suddenly I found a person named "Bi Ti" in her address book. I suddenly wanted to tease her and asked her: "Are there any friends of yours named Bi? MM (very nervous)" Give me your phone back quickly? I guess I pretended not to give it, but she dialed accidentally while grabbing it, and my phone rang

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