The dignity of an unmarried man: I would rather be a bachelor for the rest of my life than be a door-to-door son-in-law.

If a person lives with his own principles and bottom line, it is not a bad thing as long as he is not blind. After all, life is your own, and you are the master of your life. Although there are many people who have a relationship with you in this world, the only one who can master your life is yourself. This is especially true for ordinary people. If your parents want to decide your life, they don't have the ability. You can only rely on yourself.

Rely on yourself and follow the right path. You can’t always think about taking shortcuts, you can’t always be eager for quick success, and you can’t always think about making your life better through crooked ways. Everything must have a process from scratch. This process is the meaning of your life. If you gain happiness through dedication, then your heart will be at ease. This is not only true for making money through work, but also for emotional matters.

In the previous article, we talked about a man who was eager for quick success in marriage. Although he climbed up to become a son-in-law of a wealthy family, he ended up being rejected and divorced, which was very disappointing. Speechless.

After reading that man’s story, other readers sent in their own stories, which are also about being a high-ranking man and being a door-to-door son-in-law. Let’s take a look.

Teacher Donglin:

I just read the man you wrote about the man who sought out a wealthy man and became his son-in-law. I really despise him. He Not really like a man. I don't object to someone willing to be a son-in-law, because after all, different people have different views, but I really disagree with his clinging behavior and his lazy mentality of getting something for nothing soaring into the sky.

I was very angry after reading his story, because it reminded me of myself and a similar thing I had experienced. When I say it's similar, it doesn't mean that I was just like him, and I disdain to associate with that kind of people. What I'm talking about is my mother, who has that kind of clinging mentality.

I am 32 years old and not married yet, but I am not anxious at all. I have my own career, my own life plan, and I have been living according to my own plan. I feel very happy. Although I can now live my single life with peace of mind, it stems from a blind date two years ago. Let me talk about that incident.

At that time, my parents, like other parents, were anxious to urge me to get married, as if I had committed some heinous crime before I got married at the age of 30. I told them many times that I didn’t want to get married so early and that I wanted to start a career first and then start a family. However, they continued to press for marriage and arranged blind dates for me without my consent.

Every time I didn’t want to go on a blind date, they said it had already been arranged. If I didn’t go, they wouldn’t be able to save their face. I had no choice but to go on a blind date.

Because I don’t want to get married at all, so blind dates are just a formality for me. I don’t expect to meet the right person through blind dates. I am not ready for marriage and there is no right person for me in this situation. I am a responsible person and I don’t want to delay other people’s youth. My conditions are not good. After getting married, we will live a hard life together. This is not the life I want.

I failed in blind dates again and again. I thought my parents would just give up and stop caring about me, but I didn’t expect that my mother actually wanted to climb up a wealthy family. I don’t know where the matchmaker came from. He told my mother that there was a rich family with a girl to be married. They said that our family would not need to pay for the marriage, and they only needed me to be their son-in-law.

I didn’t know at first. My mother asked me if I wanted to be a door-to-door son-in-law. I sternly refused. I thought it was a no-brainer. There was no such thing as a door-to-door son-in-law in my world. . I thought the matter would end after I refused, but my mother didn't give up. She identified the wealthy family and wanted me to be his son-in-law. She thought that she could also be related to him. .

Next, she arranged a blind date for me, and the blind date was with a girl from that wealthy family. I didn't know about it before I went there. After we met and chatted with the girl for a while, she mentioned that she wanted to recruit a son-in-law. After I asked carefully, I found out that it was the family my mother mentioned before.

I was very angry. After rejecting the girl, I went home and asked my mother, "I already said I wouldn't be her son-in-law. Why did she arrange for me to go on a blind date?"

Me My mother didn't care about my mood and said, "Her family is rich and powerful, so you can be her son-in-law. Don't think about it. You may think it is embarrassing to be a son-in-law now. You will know if you marry her, you will be married to a rich family." If you marry a girl, your starting point will be very high. It will not only be good for you but also for your children in the future. Do you have to marry a wife with poor conditions? "

I told her. "Whoever wants to do it can do it, but I won't do it anyway. I would rather be a bachelor all my life than be a door-to-door son-in-law. Besides, if I don't become a door-to-door son-in-law, can I only marry a daughter-in-law with poor conditions? This It's not an either-or relationship! You and my dad should not arrange blind dates for me anymore. I don't want to blindly accommodate you anymore. I have my own arrangements for my marriage and I will handle it myself."

My mother’s original intention was to persuade me to become her son-in-law, but she didn’t expect that I would respond like this. She was very angry and scolded me severely. I couldn't hold back my temper and quarreled with my mother. But this is just right. After the quarrel, I have a reason not to accept their urging to get married. I can live my single life with peace of mind and work on my career with peace of mind.

The above is my story. I have never regretted what happened two years ago. Although I have experienced very difficult things since then, I have persevered and persevered. I will never be a door-to-door son-in-law in my life. I don’t care what other people do. I won’t do it anyway. To me, this is a man’s dignity and bottom line.

Donglin Xiting's emotional advice:

I don't object to those men who are willing to be their son-in-law, nor do I object to this reader's approach. As long as it is voluntary, you don't think so. Wrong, then there is nothing wrong. I will not preach to him like his mother. Marriage itself should respect the wishes of the parties involved. Children are unwilling to cling to others and want to make their own decisions. Parents should respect this.

We have said this in an article before: If the children have no opinion or ideas about their marriage, the parents can of course worry about it and even arrange a marriage. The children have no right to refuse. But if the children have their own opinions and ideas about their marriage, then although the parents can worry about it, they cannot ignore the wishes of the children. As a parent, you can think about your own happiness, but if you force him to do what he wants, then he compromised and got married due to resistance. Who will bear the responsibility if he is unhappy after marriage?

We usually talk about some things to note about marriage in our articles, especially focusing on the fact that you should have your own opinions and views on marriage. In fact, this is all for your own sake. You can only clarify yourself Only with a healthy marriage can you adjust and improve in a targeted manner.

We have also talked about the topic of door-to-door son-in-law: As a man, if you are okay with anything and are not opposed to being a door-to-door son-in-law, then if you meet the right person, it is not a bad idea. However, you'd better not have a clinging mentality and pay attention to things that should be paid attention to in marriage, and you can't become a door-to-door son-in-law just because of clinging. That kind of marriage will not end well; if you are like the reader above, you just don't want to be a door-to-door son-in-law. , if you think this is a man’s bottom line and dignity, then don’t do it, just stick to your principles. Anyway, life is yours and your marriage is also yours. If you make the decision for yourself, you are responsible for yourself. There is nothing wrong with that.