Lovelorn is profound. Tell me about it.

My friend Xiao Fang is lovelorn. Because her mood is affected, she always makes mistakes at work, which leads to her unemployment. She is in an unprecedented predicament. When Xiao Fang told me this experience with tears in her eyes, I obviously felt her pressure, anxiety and pain, but as a friend, I could only comfort her, which could not replace her own life responsibility.

There are two words that have to be mentioned: Positive energy? And then what? Negative energy? . In fact, the so-called positive energy and negative energy are just a state of mind, and each of us will encounter stress, anxiety and pain. What matters is how we look at these things, that is, what kind of mentality we look at. Different views will have different psychological effects.

Stress generally refers to the stress of life. When stress occurs, the heart rate will increase. If a person does not accept the fact that stress should not happen, then her cardiovascular system will also contract; On the other hand, if a person accepts the fact that stress is not necessarily a bad thing, then her cardiovascular system will relax and produce oxytocin.

As we all know, oxytocin is a very pleasant substance. With the secretion of oxytocin, people will be more positive and optimistic, and their mentality will change in a good direction, which is also a sign that a person is beginning to get better.

So how should we deal with the pressure? The first step is to admit its existence, and the fact is the beginning of solving the problem; The second step is to live in harmony with it. Since the pressure has come, we should welcome it, not reject it, because it is inside our bodies. If you reject it, it means rejecting yourself. The third step is to analyze the root causes of stress, so as to find problems and solve them.

With these three steps, we can have a correct attitude towards pressure and really grow up. Ok, next, let's look at anxiety.

Anxiety often makes people afraid and nervous, and at the same time makes people highly focused. We are anxious about the dangers around us and the uncertainty about the future. When danger comes, our brains will give orders to fight and flee. Fighting is a direct confrontation with danger, and fleeing is a quick escape from dangerous areas.

On the other hand, without anxiety, our ancestors could not survive. When the beast attacks the hunter, the hunter will be frightened and nervous in an instant, and the whole person will make a decision to fight or escape in a very short time to protect his own survival. It is because of this anxiety that our ancestors can thrive.

Anxiety can mobilize and integrate resources in the shortest time, but if you don't have enough resources, you can't overcome the danger, so anxiety is just an optimal allocation of resources, and the real power is your own strength. Therefore, the usual practice and preparation is very necessary. This also explains why some hunters can survive in the face of danger while others will die.

The last negative energy: pain. It is said that Xiao Fang was lovelorn and unemployed. This process must be painful, but is it really helpless for people to face pain? No, many excellent people have experienced pain and come out. How to walk out of pain? I believe many people will think it is a good choice to drown their sorrows or have a big meal. However, many studies show that drinking to drown their sorrows will only make them fatter and harmful to their health.

There are actually two ways to get out of the shadow of pain. The first thing is to turn your attention to your major and work. If your major and work are exactly what you like, enjoy it! This method of improving yourself will make you stronger and get out of the shadow of pain soon.

The second method is writing. Don't underestimate the role of writing. A person who often writes will make himself healthier physically and mentally. Of course, there are also requirements for writing. You should write deeply and face your heart. The deeper you write, the more emotional you are. When a person is in pain, as long as he keeps writing, it will fade one day.