Humorous and hilarious stories

Humorous and hilarious jokes and stories

Humorous and hilarious jokes and stories. In our spare time between work and study, we might as well get together with our family or friends to have a meal and chat. In addition to chatting about family issues, we can also Let’s talk about jokes to enliven the atmosphere. Jokes are a great way to create atmosphere in crowded places. Next, let’s take a look at some humorous and hilarious joke stories. Humorous and Hilarious Jokes Story 1

Humorous and Hilarious Jokes (Popular)

1. My online girlfriend who I have never met in person said she wants to know what I look like. I sent her a group photo of the six of us in the dormitory, and proudly said: I am the most handsome person in there. As a result, she guessed correctly only after guessing the sixth time

2. The old lady on the bus was afraid of passing by and asked at every stop. As soon as the bus arrived at the stop, she kept poking the driver with her umbrella: "Is this an exhibition center?" "No, this is pork ribs!

3. When I was walking in the mall that day, I heard a saleswoman shouting, "Four... The discount on leather shoes is limited to one hour. When I walked over, I suddenly heard her whisper, I’m so exhausted, I’ve been shouting for two hours.

4. Boyfriend: Honey, do you know why fish are mute? Girlfriend. : I don’t know. Boyfriend: It’s very simple. You just need to put your head in the water and try to say a few words and you will understand.

5. When chatting with friends, I started to argue with them when they talked about you. I almost got into a fight because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was too much! They didn’t treat you like a pig at all!

6. My boyfriend came home from get off work. I saw a note left by my wife on the table: “Dear, I went to my girlfriend’s house to have fish for dinner, and the fishing rod is behind the door.

7. Teacher: “Tell me what your ideal is?” Primary school student: “Eat well, dress well, and live a good life.” Teacher: “Can your ideal be higher? ?” Elementary school student: “Eat better, wear better, and live better.”

8. When I got off work at noon, I went to have dinner with my colleagues. On the roadside, there was a big man doing it cross-legged with his head bleeding. I asked my colleague what was going on? Colleague: "I have no money to buy medicine, so I am sitting on the floor to recover my health.

9. I lost the bet today and helped my female classmate buy hygiene products. Just as I was about to enter the classroom, the teacher stopped me. I saw it. Asked me what it was? I said wittily: It was bread. The teacher told me: Come in after eating.

10. On the way, the Nokia he was holding accidentally fell to the ground and fell into three parts. You know... there were a few coins mixed in. A passerby said quietly: Oh, look, even the phone bill fell out.

11. The barber downstairs beat up a candied haws-lud seller! When they arrived at the police station, the police asked the barber: "Why did you beat the candied haws-lud seller?" The barber said: "I I’m perming my hair in the room, but she’s screaming outside for perm!”

12. I was working overtime today. The female colleague brought a bag of milk and put it on the water heater to heat up. The male colleague was about to turn on the water. The female colleague He said softly: Touch my milk. Is it hot? The male colleague said, there are many people there. The female colleague said, it’s okay, I don’t touch it to let you drink...

Humorous and hilarious jokes (classic) Chapter)

1. One day, I heard a friend quarreling with his girlfriend. His girlfriend said: "Get out of here!" Friend: "Okay, get out of here. Don't ask me to come back!" His girlfriend: "Get out of here!" "I didn't ask you to roll in a straight line, I told you to roll back and forth! Roll back and forth..."

2. A: "My ex-girlfriend has a very good figure, with a good height and weight. I can easily throw her away." stand up. " B: "Pretty good! How did you become your ex?" A: "Uh... I threw it too high and didn't catch it. I'm still lying in the hospital unconscious...

3. Girlfriend: "I, what am I yours?" Man: "You are my Coca-Cola!" Woman: "Hee hee, I hate it, can you hold me in the palm of your hand?" Man: "Where do you want to go? "Oh, I mean you are so angry!"

4. The guest said to the little host: Look, what beautiful curly hair, mom gave it to me, right? The little master thought for a moment: I think it was my dad who gave it to me. Mine, because now he doesn't have a hair on his head.

5. The captain has very strict requirements on hygiene. One day the sailor reported: The deck has been washed, the glass has been wiped, the mast has been washed, please give instructions.

After the captain checked it, it was indeed spotless, so he said he should wash the anchor. Humorous and hilarious stories 2

Humorous jokes 1

It would be cool if it came true

A classmate told me about a dream he had once. I dreamed that I was getting married, and my partner was a tall, rich, handsome man, very rich. The wedding reception was very grand, with sixty Lamborghinis. After paying homage to each other and having a glass of wine, the guy woke up when they were having their wedding. After waking up, this guy burst into tears, not because it was just a dream, but because he remembered that he was a man after waking up!

If I can’t get it, others can’t get it.

There is a female colleague in the office. She is outgoing and lovely, and she has a very good relationship with her husband. One time when we were having dinner and talking about the mistress, I asked her: If your husband had an affair, would you divorce him? She looked at her husband sideways and said calmly: I have never been divorced in my life, only widowed!

< p> Did you wash the dishes later?

I just had dinner in a hotel and asked the boss for the WIFI password. The boss said LYP82NLF. I said it was too hard to remember, and the boss replied with a smile: A bottle of Lafite 1982, it will be easier to remember! I entered the password while reciting it, and as soon as I finished entering it, I heard a bang. The waiter smiled and said: Your Lafite, thirty-two thousand, thank you...

Humorous Joke Story 2

Success

< p> Bernard is a famous French writer who occupies an important position in the history of French film and drama. Once, a French newspaper held a prize-winning quiz, which included this question: If the Louvre, the largest museum in France, caught fire and the situation was urgent and only one painting was allowed to be rescued, which one would you grab? The result Of the thousands of answers the newspaper received, Bernard won the prize for the best answer to the question. His answer was: "I grab the painting closest to the exit."

The best goal for success is not the most valuable one, but the one most likely to be achieved.

Humorous Jokes and Short Stories 3

Success

In the dining room, an unusually humble man timidly touched another customer, who was wearing a suit. A coat.

"I'm sorry, are you Mr. Pierre?"

"No, I'm not." The man replied.

"Ah," he breathed a sigh of relief, "Then I'm not mistaken, I am him, and you are wearing his coat." Humorous and hilarious jokes story 3

Chapter 1 Classic and funny bedtime stories

A long time ago, there was a dense forest where many cute little animals lived. Among them, there are little rabbits, little monkeys and white geese living in this forest. They grew up together and are three inseparable good friends.

One day, these three good friends were playing a game. Suddenly, a big bad wolf appeared behind the big tree. The big bad wolf saw them directly and thought with drooling: Haha! Today, I have a good meal!

At this time, the wolf was standing aside. The playing little white rabbit sharply discovered the big bad wolf's intention. The little white rabbit had an idea, and while everyone was playing games, he quietly said to his companions: "I found a big bad wolf behind the big tree. After a while, I shouted "one, two, three", run, and we ran quickly." Knowing that there was a big bad wolf, the little monkey and the white goose were a little nervous and looked around in panic. The little rabbit reassured: "Don't be nervous, just do as I say in a moment, and we will be fine." The little monkey and the white goose said in unison: "Okay!"

So, while the big bad wolf was playing When he was about to pounce, the little rabbit shouted quickly: "One, two, three, run!" The three of them split into three and ran away. Unexpectedly, no one caught the big bad wolf. Instead, the big bad wolf jumped into the air and accidentally fell into the muddy water, making it look like it was all dirty.

Chapter 2 Classic Funny Bedtime Story

In a dense forest, there is a piece of green grass. A breeze blows slowly, and the grass twists like a dancer. The body comes.

There are a group of cute little animals living in the forest, including slow-moving cows, sheep in snow-white clothes, and jumping rabbits eating grass, eating their bellies as round as balloons. They are so big that they sleep and exercise on the grass after eating.

One winter, the grass was withered and yellow. The little rabbit accidentally lit the grass on fire with a box of matchsticks. After three days and three nights, the grass was all burnt out, and all the grass in the forest was gone. The little animals were very sad, and they sighed and decided to say: "Let's move next spring!"

When winter turned to spring, when the little rabbits moved, they found that the grass had grown again. They were so happy that they hurriedly followed The little animals said: "Friends, come out and take a look, the grass has grown again!" The little animals were very confused and asked: "The grass burned out, why did it grow back?"

< p> Uncle Goat shook his head and said: "This is what people say, wildfire will never burn out, but the spring breeze will blow again." This is the life habit of Xiaocao! We must learn from Xiaocao's perseverance.

Three classic funny bedtime stories

A lazy pig was so lazy that he would sleep after eating all day long, and his figure was getting fatter and fatter. . When it sees other people's strong bodies and nimble movements, it envies them from the bottom of its heart. Hearing that running can help lose weight, he wanted to take part in the exercise, but he was too lazy to get up early. The enthusiastic neighbor rooster found out and volunteered to wake him up on time every morning when he crows.

It was just dawn the next morning, and the lazy pig was still snoring in his sleep. The rooster came as promised to urge the lazy pig to get up. The lazy pig didn't refuse at all. He gritted his teeth and climbed up, rubbing his groggy eyes, and then ran in circles around the yard in a daze, one after another, until he was panting and his limbs were weak before he stopped.

"Yes, yes, just exercise like this," the rooster was very satisfied, praising and encouraging him repeatedly: "As long as you persevere, you will definitely be able to lose weight in a short time."

Just In this way, Lazy Pig persisted for three mornings. On the fourth day, when the rooster called him again, he lay in the grass nest unable to get up.

"Just give me a day off, little ancestor, I'm really too tired and can't bear it." Lazy Pig begged with a grimace.

"Then what should we do? The key to exercise to lose weight is 'persistence', only in this way can we achieve results." The rooster advised it.

"Oh my god, I really can't bear it anymore. My eyes are dizzy now, my limbs are weak, my back is sore, my head is dizzy, and my head is swollen. If I keep running, I will die. Let me rest for a day." "The lazy pig just refuses to get up.

The rooster had no choice but to walk away.

It will be like this for several days in a row. Although the rooster presses hard, the lazy pig always resists, saying that the fatigue has not been completely eliminated and the physical strength has not been fully restored.

Early that morning, the rooster urged him to get up and exercise again, but the lazy pig simply refused.

"I said, good brother, just spare me. Don't force me anymore. I don't want to do any more exercise to lose weight." The lazy pig pleaded pitifully towards the cock.

"How can this be? If you don't exercise to lose weight, you will become more and more obese." The rooster also wanted to persuade it.

"I don't believe this lie anymore. Look," Zhu pointed at his waist and then his thighs and said, "I have not lost weight for so many days but have gained weight. This proves that exercise cannot lose weight; besides, exercise is very hard. Yeah, I just have to suffer. I would rather be fatter and stupider, or be scolded one or two more times, than do such stupid things again."

"Oh," Rooster. After hearing this, I couldn't help but shake my head: "You are afraid of hardship and greedy for pleasure, and you lack the spirit of perseverance. What can you accomplish?"