Seek the lines from the beginning to the end of the 2009 Spring Festival Evening Crosstalk "A New Theory of Five Senses".

Ma Dong

Wei Liu plays the eyes of Ma Dong.

Dashan decorated Ma Dong's nose.

Jian Zheng plays Xu's mouth.

Zhou Wei plays Xu's ear.

Xu Dong: Audience friends from all over the country, I will give you my five senses.

Qi: Happy New Year!

Eyes: I am Ma Dong's eyes. I wish everyone a bright smile!

Xu Dong: Hey, how happy my eyes are!

Ear: I'm Ma Dong's ear. I wish everyone all ears!

Xu Dong: Blessed are the big ears!

Mouth: I am Ma Dong's mouth. I wish everyone a smile!

Ma Dong: My mouth can talk.

Nose: I'm Ma Dong's nose. I wish everyone # @&; ……@#@! L 1: Happy Spring Festival! )

Xu Dong: Hey, why did you change your foreign nose in my generation?

Nose: foreign noses are big. You can breathe happily!

Eyes, ears and mouth: (Laughter) Yes, you breathe happily!

X: What am I happy about? Please.

Eyes, nose, mouth and ears: What's the matter?

Ma Dong: I was drunk driving last night. The police caught me and my driver's license was impounded. What should I do?

Eyes: I didn't see it!

Ear: It has nothing to do with me!

Ma Dong: Stop! What's the matter? Once again, no one can escape, one by one. Come on, who says first? What about you? You! Eyes, you can see best. You go first.

Eyes (staring at ears): What am I talking about?

Ma Dong: Drunk driving!

Eyes (still staring at ears): Hey, did you drink and drive?

Xu: I said, can you look at me and say?

Eyes: I'm looking at you!

Xu Dong: Is this looking at me? I am here.

Eyes (turning to nose): Oh, there you are. Hey, hello.

Xu Dong: Hey, what are my eyes like?

Eyes (turning to the audience): You don't know, there is something wrong with Ma Dong's eyes.

X: What happened to my eyes?

Eyes: strabismus

Xu Dong: I squint?

Eyes: Not too old,

Xu Dong: When will it tilt?

Eyes: When he saw the woman, he tilted a little.

Xu Dong: Even if I squinted, you could see the police yesterday!

Eyes: It's a male policeman. I closed my eyes, hehe. ...

Xu: Hey, he's hiding.

Nose: Push it down.

Ma Dong: What did you say?

Nose: He is simply shirking!

Xu: Listen, listen, alas, this attitude of others, as a foreign nose, jumped on our faces not far from Wan Li. What spirit is this? This is the spirit ... staring at your nose and face.

Nose: Hi. ...

Xu: Tell me about the nose.

Nose: What did I say?

Ma Dong: Drunk driving.

Nose: Did you drink and drive?

Xu Dong: You were there!

Nose: Alas, this is an internal disease of China people, so I won't take part.

Xu Dong: Hey, he's not involved now?

Nose: Everyone knows that Ma Dong has a problem with his nose.

X: What happened to my nose?

Nose: No holes.

Xu Dong: Please show me my four strengths (pronounced like this here, I don't know the details). I have eyes!

Nose: It's no use having eyes. I was sneezing all the time that day. I don't know anything. I

Xu Dong: Hey, he's hiding, too. It doesn't matter. Let me ask this, ear!

Ear (mouth to mouth): Yesterday's Yanghe Daqu was not bad!

Mouth: looking for you

X: You, me and you. ...

Ears: Not Ma Dong's ears.

Ma Dong and Joel: Something is wrong!

X: I know what you mean, so you must say it.

Ear: What did you say?

Xu Dong: Let me tell you something!

Ear: What did you say louder?

Xu Dong: Let me tell you something!

Ear: Well, why don't you talk?

Xu: Did I speak?

Ear (to mouth): What are you talking about?

Xu Dong: Whose wallet?

Ear: mine!

Xu: Eh, you can hear it.

Ear: no ... what did you say?

Ma Dong: Here we go again. You, don't pretend not to hear.

Ear: Are you going to court tomorrow? What's the New Year's Day for?

Ma Dong: Do you really mean it?

Ear: You want a divorce? Why?

Xu Dong: You don't know the word sincerity?

Ear: The third party is Feng Gong? How much do you think Feng Gong hates you?

Xu Dong: I can't believe you can't hear clearly!

Ear: Are you going to marry Dong Qing after graduation?

Xu Dong: You are faking it!

Ear: Is Zhu Jun alive or dead?

X: Who are you?

Sui: I can't marry Xu!

X: What a mess!

Ear: Oh, my father-in-law is Bi Fujian!

Xu Dong: You go!

Xu: Mouth, you can't run away! I knew it.

Mouth: Isn't it just drunk driving?

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: I don't need to say it.

Xu Dong: Huh?

Mouth: Besides, everyone knows that there is something wrong with Ma Dong's mouth.

Ma Dong: Wait a minute. I admit that the three of them said I had a problem. I, uh, asked what I was doing. There is nothing wrong with my mouth.

Mouth: Yes, there must be something wrong with your mouth when you speak.

Xu Dong: Right?

Mouth: But as soon as you finish drinking.

Ma Dong: What's the matter?

Mouth: @ # RMB% &；; * & amp

Xu Dong: I what?

Mouth: # # #% ...

X: What did he say?

Ear: He said you couldn't speak clearly.

X: How did you hear this sentence?

Xu (to the mouth): Keep your tongue straight. What happened last night? Make it clear

Mouth: #&... RMB ... #& ... # @ @! ￥@%@#%#%……%%! # & amp**~! @￥#

Xu Dong: Am I? If my tongue is like this, the police will take it away if I don't drink. Look at the four of you. At the last minute, you all want to hide? How can we get this book back with your attitude? ...

Eyes: Hey, boss.

Ma Dong: Huh?

Eyes: Your attitude is wrong.

X: What's wrong with my attitude?

Eye: You have to tell the police.

Xu Dong: Well, what should I say?

Eyes: police uncle

Xu Dong: Uncle?

Eyes: It's our fault to drive after drinking.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Eye: But the responsibility is yours.

Ma Dong: Eh, how are the police responsible?

Eyes: We have bus lanes on the road.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Eyes: There is an Olympic special line.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Eye: Why not set up a special drinking line?

Ma Dong: Set up a drunk driving line?

Eyes: You are easy to manage.

Ma Dong: How to manage this?

Eyes: When you see a wobbly car coming, hurry (salute). Hey, drink, don't panic, please go, just get drunk!

Ma Dong: Why not just drink and drive?

Eye: Oh, no, it will cause new traffic jams.

Ma Dong: What should we do?

Eyes: divided into even and odd numbers.

X: There are even and odd numbers.

Eyes: one, three, five, white, two, four, six, beer drinkers.

Xu: Hey-that mixed drink can only leave on Sunday.

Eyes: That's right. Really can't. We can also group.

Xu Dong: We can still divide into groups.

Eyes: Go for Erguotou on Tuesday and Wuliangye on Friday.

Xu Dong: Hey, people who drink Jinliufu can only leave on Saturday.

Eyes (patting Ma Dong on the shoulder): How clear is it?

Xu (hands off eyes): What a mess?

Nose: OK.

Xu Dong: What a great idea!

Nose (walks up to Ma Dong): Don't listen to him!

X: You can't listen to him.

Nose: That's what you have to say when you see a policeman.

X: What can I say?

Nose: Uncle Police.

Xu: Uncle Police ... Why did you call my uncle?

Nose: I am an international student, nephew.

X: Yes, nephew. Nephew should be called uncle.

Nose: It's really our responsibility to drive after drinking.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Nose: But the police speak the law.

Ma Dong: Law.

Nose: What about this law? English name is law.

Ma Dong: Law?

Nose: Of course, how to catch more depends on your skill.

Ma Dong: You used to fish in Canada.

Nose: I said the law.

Ma Dong: Law?

Nose: The law is about evidence.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Nose: The evidence is logical.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Nose: Logical and reasonable.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Nose: The truth can be unknown.

X: Yes ... No, no, no.

Nose: Ah, the fact is that we have to find out.

Xu Dong: Hey, this sentence is right.

Nose: That's right. how do you say that in English?

X: Ah, yes ... Ah, I really can't tell the truth.

Nose: Look, look, you can't even understand-

X: Ah!

Nose: Then how do you make sense? !

Xu: Hey, I let this big nose turn around for me.

Ears: head, head

Xu Dong: Huh?

Ear: Never listen to him.

X: Don't listen to him.

Ear: Did the police say it was useful?

Xu Dong: It's no use!

Ear: You should emphasize the national conditions of China!

Ma Dong: Then how should I emphasize it?

Ear: You say so.

X: Ah!

Ear: Say that-the police are big.

Xu: The police are big shots ... What's wrong with you?

Ear: I'm definitely different.

X: Ah, what do you say?

Ear: That's what I said!

X: Ah!

Ear: The police listen to me very much. Don't be angry.

Xu Dong: Sing!

Ear: This drunk driving has nothing to do with me. Our boss came to treat us and asked me to accompany him.

Red drops, yellow drops, beer drops, two boxes of Daqu.

Xu Dong: Here comes the wine!

Ear: No matter far or near, I am a guest. I'm not welcome.

Xu Dong: Yes!

Ear: Since we are sitting together-

Ma Dong: How about it?

Ear: I drank it all-

Xu Dong: Drink!

Police, I'm telling you-

Xu Dong: Hmm!

Ear: I can drink very much. I have bad luck today. Let me meet you, policeman. I'm telling you-

Xu Dong: Huh?

Ear: Anyone who has a dream is great-

Xu Dong: Wow!

Ear: Dare to fly a plane after drinking-

: all right, all right.

Xu Dong: Go, go, fly that way! How irritating!

Mouth: I have something to say.

X: You have to talk about it.

Mouth: Don't come back with your driver's license if you have this attitude towards all three of them.

X: I'll never come back.

Mouth: You must tell the police.

X: What should I say?

Mouth: police master,

Ma Dong: The police always-

Mouth: What about my question-

Xu: Does your Excellency have a point? ! Comrade! Comrade!

Police ... police and ... comrades! Drunk driving must be our fault.

Ma Dong: Good attitude.

Mouth: But drinking and driving are two problems.

Ma Dong: Two questions.

Mouth: Don't talk about drunken problems.

Xu Dong: Isn't it ... eh?

Mouth: Tell me again why I want to drive.

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Why should I drive?

Xu Dong: Huh?

Mouth: Because I want to go home.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: Why did you drive home?

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Because my family lives far away.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: Why does the family live far away?

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Because I bought a house in the suburbs.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: Why do you want to buy a house in the suburbs?

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Because the housing prices in the city are too expensive.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: Why is the house price too expensive?

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Because of the American subprime mortgage crisis.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Big mouth: Why is it a capital loan crisis?

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Because of his economic depression.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: What about his economic recession? ...

Xu Dong: Why not wait? Wait, where do you want me to go? What is this? You are such a big mouth! Just talk about drunk driving!

Mouth: # @! # % % * & amp& amp*+——@%#￥￥@! #￥%! %￥……

Xu Dong: Right, right, right, you see? Push, hide! Let me tell you what the environment is now. Accountability, someone has to be responsible for something! You say, who is in charge?

Chorus (except Ma Dong): Head!

Xu: Ah, yes, I am responsible for leadership. Tell me who is mainly responsible for it!

Ears, eyes and nose: mouth!

Mouth: Huh? Why should I take the main responsibility?

Eyes: Drink. Drink it. If you don't drink that wine, can we drink it?

Ear: It's all your fault!

Mouth: Blame me me?

Ear: Hmm!

Mouth: Your ears are not soft. Can I have the last glass of white?

Ear: This is ... drinking is drinking. Let you blow when the police ask questions. What are you doing so hard?

Nose: Ah, yes!

Mouth: You are talking nonsense. What would I blow out if your foreign nose didn't breathe so well?

Eyes: Hmm!

Nose: Your eyes. If you had seen that policeman earlier, I would have bypassed him!

Eyes: The policeman who talks nonsense is not a woman and I won't make do with it!

#@%￥%@! @#￥%#￥##￥%@#￥! # & amp* & amp￥%……

Ma Dong: Stop it! What are you doing? Let's have a look. Is that so? You push me, I push you, that's it? Can you push it clean?

Ears, eyes, nose and mouth: no!

Ma Dong: Can you completely solve the problem?

Ears, eyes, nose and mouth: no!

Xu Dong: At the critical moment, you have to rely on me!

Ears, eyes, nose and mouth: huh?

Xu Dong: I tell you, no one needs to go to the traffic team tomorrow!

Otorhinostomy: What's the matter?

Xu Dong: I gave that driver's license to the police.

Otolaryngology: Ah!

X: It's free!

Ears, eyes, nose and mouth: all pushed!

Some mixed words have not been translated yet, and there may be some mistakes, but I have tried my best ... please forgive me! eye