The big black dog in my life is "depressed"

? Since I gave birth to two children before and after, they are basically brought up by one person. They are miserable, suffering day and night, and exhausted physically and mentally! During the two or three years of taking care of the eldest brother and the second child, I always had problems with my family. My mood is always unstable, always sad, lost, inferior, self-blaming, bored, crying inexplicably, missing my parents and relatives far away, sleeping all night ... I also secretly tested myself. I do have a big black dog in my life. To the degree of depression at ordinary times, it is moderate depression, especially when encountering sensitive problems. Because of this, I began to wonder what depression is like.

? At first, I only knew a little about depression. I feel that they are simply in a particularly bad mood and have not yet stepped out of the imaginary world they have created for themselves. ? In fact, depression is not that simple, it erodes people's nerves, controls the brain, and makes you gradually lose your mind until you die. In the world of depressed patients, I think only death is the best way to give back to relatives and friends. If this sentence enters the ears of people with depression, they will feel right. You are right. I should die. Death is the best way, and then I will start looking for ways.

Depression is extremely bad, and sometimes it falls into the whirlpool of meaning. What is the meaning of people living; What do you mean my eyes are open? What is the significance of raising a baby? What is the meaning of my eating? ...

? In fact, people with depression are ordinary people, ordinary people, but they have experienced different environments, which led to their mental breakdown. At the same time, I gave myself too much pressure and didn't want to tell others about my situation. Until the last straw overwhelmed me, I finally released my true self.

? Usually, she smiles on the surface in communication, and looks sunny, optimistic and cheerful. In fact, she only releases her true self when she is alone. She wants everyone to like her and demands everything to be perfect. Some people may say that this is not just an obvious disagreement, which can be understood in this way, but it is not completely right, and there is no malice to others, just hoping to satisfy everyone.

Knowing this, I also feel that I often do this. Sometimes it's normal to talk and laugh, but when babies sleep quietly, they are always thinking, fidgety, depressed and insomnia, dreaming ... Sometimes they cry for no reason or keep talking, talking to themselves, talking to themselves, or waking up their husbands to complain, feeling that everything is wronged ... Sometimes when they are tired, they want to persuade themselves to talk to friends! But I have been married far away and have been taking care of my baby at home for three or four years. I have no friends, no language and no one to talk to. Sometimes I can't help crying secretly. Tears may be useless, but they can take away some negative emotions. Actually, some of my states are completely out of control. After waking up, I came to my senses. I don't understand why I did that and why I did that, especially in front of the children. It's all my fault!

I try my best to adjust myself. I know there is a big black dog in my life, and I can't get rid of it quickly. I hope I can hug it and get along with it. I don't want to hurt my children and family again because of the emotional black dog!