What humorous and philosophical sentences are there?

1, the iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

I'd rather you hold another woman and miss me than you hold me and miss another woman.

3. It is not a blessing for people to be afraid of you, and it is not a shame for people to bully you.

4. Sleep is for practical work, and work is for practical sleep.

5, life is tired, a small part comes from survival, and a small part comes from comparison.

6, cry hard, don't cry a little how to let yourself see other people's faces.

7. No matter how many times you fall, as long as the final posture is standing, it is enough.

8. Face is given by others and lost by yourself. The most hurtful words always come from the gentlest mouth.

9. Be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

10, I like you for a long time, and I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, I want to leave, even longer than a long time. ......

I share some humorous and philosophical sentences here:

First, life is easy. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

Second, life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

Third, life is tired, a small part comes from survival, and a small part comes from comparison.

Fourth, sleep is for practical work, and work is for practical sleep.

5. You don't know what dependence is until you drop your belt.

6. The road to success is always under construction.

Seven, from heaven to hell, I just pass by.

Don't always be hot and cold to me, in that case I'm afraid of catching a cold.

Nine, time is still there, but we are flying.

Ten, you can't eat a fat man in one bite, but the fat man eats it in one bite!

If the heart has no place to live, it will wander everywhere!

Twelve, we are all farsighted, blurring the happiness closest to us.

Thirteen, life is like a coffee table, although it is not big, it is full of tragedies.

You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

Fifteen, in the world, there is love besides teeth.

Sixteen, clap your head to make a decision, clap your chest to ensure that you leave.

Romance is a beautiful evening dress, but you can't wear it all the time.

No drop of rain will think that it caused the flood, all because of the weather.

Nineteen, life is like "breathing". "Breathing" means giving a breath, and "sucking" means fighting for a breath.

Twenty, some lives are like drinking water, "lonely-lonely-lonely", and a cup (generation) is gone.

Twenty-one, boredom is a person's feelings for the plate after eating the food on it.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.

The furthest distance in the world is when we go out together. You buy four generations of apples and I buy four bags of apples.

Be a man and treat others with things: those who value teachers are kings, those who value friends are tyrants, and those who value themselves die.

Twenty-five, life is like a dream, I always suffer from insomnia; Life is like a play, I always wear help; Life is like a song, I always go out of tune; Life is like a battlefield, and I am always possessed.

In the process of reading at ordinary times, I especially like to compile some beautiful sentences and paragraphs, and I also like humorous and philosophical words or sentences. Here, I will share some of these sorted words with you. If I can make you laugh or make you realize something, that would be great:

1, wool won't go to pigs.

2. Eat Juncus Ash and fart lightly.

3, the temple is windy and shallow.

4. To say right or wrong is right or wrong.

There is only a desolate desert, and there is no desolate life.

6. There are two things in this world that you can't look directly at, one is the sun and the other is the human heart.

7. Money houses are pawnbrokers for the rich and pawnbrokers are money houses for the poor.

8. People are heroes, and money is courage.

9. I am not afraid of the fierceness of debt collection, but I am afraid of the poverty of debt.

10, funny bad guys are often better than boring heroes.

1 1, romantic tea and wine are matchmakers.

12, if you want to live happily, you must work hard.

13. Only Sean, only Han Xin.

14, the way to make money, forget the pain.

15, exchange your life for money when you are young, and exchange your life for money when you are old.

16, businessman Tully, as long as it's worth it, the blood on the knife head will be licked.

17, 1234567 (forgetting eight), filial piety, loyalty, courtesy and sincerity (shameless).

18, eight altars and seven covers. You protect them, you do business.

19, people who are not afraid of practicing 10,000 skills are afraid of a person who has practiced 10,000 skills.

20. God can't keep a person in power forever. When you are arrogant to the extreme, he must help you.

2 1, don't go to the big temple as a guest, be the abbot of the kitten's temple.

22, you like you or others like you, which is more important? A: Both are very important. When you can't have both, it's more important to like yourself. I have various customs, and I live in peace with the world.

23. When you are in trouble, it is never a shame to find friends. What is really shameful is that there is no friend to turn to when you are in trouble.

24. Push the window behind closed doors, and conduct plum blossom opening independently.

If the fence is well woven, dogs can't get in.

26, committed adultery, easy to disperse, difficult to treat.

27. softness is the foundation of the body, and strength is the son of disaster.

28. I always think about myself in the middle of the night and others in the second.

29. learn from each other's strengths and there will be useless people in the world; If you are short of manpower, you will be abandoned by the world.

30. Listen to the speech lightly, be aware of unreasonable complaints, and think twice patiently; If you argue about something, you don't know whether it is right or wrong. You must think it over calmly.

3 1, like a deaf ear, is useless without it.

32, men, do not leave seeds, called romantic, do not leave seeds, called dirty.

33. In the account of selling gold, there are two newcomers, the red brocade quilt is in the middle, and now there are two old things.

34. However, there are three kinds of women crying in the world: tearful crying, tearless crying and tearless crying.

35. In marriage, we admire two kinds of people: women who accompany men to live a hard life when they are young, and men who accompany men to live a good life when they are old-the former is the price of love, and the latter is the responsibility of marriage.

37. I didn't see that Hu Shi was in love. At first sight, Hu Shi missed life.

38. People who stand with their fists walk with their arms.

39. If God wants you to die, he will make you crazy first.

40. wake up when you are old, and you will be old when you wake up.

4 1. There are pies in the sky and traps on the ground.

42. The chaos in the world is not the rise and fall of a surname, but the joys and sorrows of the people.

43. A fish died in the water, which is the problem of fish; After another batch of fish died, it was water.

44. Our danger is not uprisings and riots, which is unlikely. The danger lies in the decline of the whole nation.

45. Old people don't read The Three Kingdoms, young people don't read The Water Margin, men don't read The Red Chamber, and women don't read The West Chamber.

46. There are two most difficult things in this world: putting other people's money in your pocket and putting your own ideas in other people's heads.

1. If one day I pass by you and fall down, you'd better help me up. Otherwise, I won't leave where I'm lying. I'm worried about you. I am serious.

2, a woman's bed, if it is too easy to get on, I am afraid it is not so easy to get off.

When a person's sky collapses, the so-called decent life loses its meaning to him. Only the thoughts flowing from his heart gathered into this bloody note in the middle of the night, which made this eternal classic.

4, a brick is useless, and a pile of bricks is useless. If you don't have a dream of building a house in your heart, owning all the bricks in the world is also a pile of waste; But if there is only a dream of building a house without bricks, the dream cannot be realized.

There is only one way in the world. No one can go except you. Where did he go? Stop asking. Let's go. When a person doesn't know where your path will lead him, you have climbed higher than ever before.

6, don't test a person's loyalty, are all flesh and blood, where is the loyalty? I believe that if the chips of betrayal are attractive enough, who would think of the word loyalty?

7. Without the ability to fly, control your desires! Some things are tempting. Not all of them are for you. ...

Lots of humor. 1. There is a kind of grass called "shameless mimosa".

Boss, how much is it? "

"Eighty."

"What flowers are so expensive?"

"mimosa."

"Then if I touch it, why doesn't it retract?"

"Maybe this flower is shameless."

2. There is a stalk called "I do"

"She looks average, her figure is not good, and her temper is poor. How did you choose her? "

"Do you know why Lao Tzu wrote the Tao Te Ching?"

I don't know.

"Because I want to!"

There is a kind of mother who always lies about time.

"12 o'clock, haven't you got up yet?"

I looked at my watch. It was 6 o'clock.

"What time is it? No sleep? It's half past twelve! "

Look at the watch again, it's half past six.

Guess how to keep a low profile. I have lived on the earth for more than 4 billion years, basked in the sun for more than 5 billion years, took millions of buses to work every day, and sometimes traveled to find a driver to drive tens of millions of subways. I have had a long-term property exchange with Wal-Mart, a world-famous chain store, and even the computer I used was built by the system designed by Bill Gates himself. Hum, did you see me show off?

Because I was born on April 5, I thought about my birthday and never took it seriously. Until my birthday this year, I received three WeChat messages, the first one was a red envelope, and the second one was a message saying: Happy birthday, Brother Fang. There is today every year, and there is today every year. I want to thank you after reading it, but I didn't expect the third news of dystocia: I couldn't see you last Qingming, and I can't go this year because of the delay. Next year, I will definitely bring something to see you next year.

Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

Don't play hard now, I'll play with you later!

Life is like an electrocardiogram. If everything goes well, you're dead.

Cut the wire with a kitchen knife, sparking and lightning all the way.

Iron pestles can be ground into needles, and wooden pestles can only be ground into toothpicks. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

Life is like a maze. We spend the first half of our lives looking for the entrance and the second half looking for the exit.

When God closes a door for you, he always leaves many unlocked phone numbers for you on the wall.

When I get rich, I will send people I hate to the best mental hospital.

I'd rather you hold another woman and miss me than you hold me and miss another woman.

I finally know why I wear a mask, not because of germs, but because I am afraid of meeting people with bad breath.

Three elements of success: 1, persistence; 2, shameless; 3. Insist on being shameless. Did you do it?

1. Even if you are more capable every day, you won't be given a chance to hand it over.

2. Fall, stand up, change posture, and fall.

One person is happy, two people are alive, and three people live to the death.

That fool stole the beggar's wallet and was seen by the blind. The deaf man was startled by a loud noise. The lame man flew, and the madman said, Oh, be reasonable.

5. Too many chickens don't lay eggs and too many women make trouble.

6. 30% of my weight is in my head. If I say it, I will lose weight.

7. What if you are the first person to run to the finish line? Others were born at the finish line.

8, young and strong, the boss is a cup.

9, cry hard, don't cry a little how to make yourself unable to see other people's faces.

10, don't panic when you encounter something at work, ask yourself more, what would she do if it was Wei?

1 1. When you meet villains in life, you don't care, you learn from others.

12, even small details, should be beautiful enough to explode. Pick up your prejudice for me when I appear.

I like the eighth sentence best, you ne. (V+: Know the lesson and watch it every day)? (? & gt？ & lt？ )?

Philosophy stands for seriousness and seriousness. If it is combined with humor, it will have a magical effect: recognize the frustrations of reality and then go forward bravely in the predicament. The lifestyle of self-mockery and ridicule has been more and more recognized by everyone, and the feeling of laughing and laughing is more likely to get people out of trouble. At present, the very popular sentence of poisonous chicken soup is also written by many netizens. Here are some collected for everyone to laugh at.

1, no matter how many times you fall, as long as the final posture is standing, it is enough.

2. Laugh when you are happy, and laugh when you are unhappy.

Fate despises those who give in to him the most.

4. I have no ability to entangle myself or others.

5, some things do not need to argue, seemingly obedient, secretly resist.

I didn't mean to be different, so I have to have outstanding taste.

7, the hero is sad about the beauty, I am not a hero, the beauty let me pass.

8. The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

9. There are two kinds of people who are the most charming in the world. One is like me, and the other is like me.

10, listen to you and save me ten books!

1 1. Money is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's gone after use.

12, when you feel poor and ugly, don't be sad, at least your judgment is right.

13, the handsome one is called the wall, and the ugly one can only be called the attacking giant.

14, the biggest revenge for you is to live happier than you.

15, unreasonable, there must be a plan!

16, women please themselves, and men pity themselves.

17, if you have money, you will lose. If you have no money, you will worship God.

18, as a typical failure, you are simply too successful.

19, people can start from scratch, but they can't be unarmed!

20. You said that life is cheap, but once you enter the hospital, it is extremely expensive.

More inspirational and emotional essays

May you cross Qian Fan and return to your youth.

I'm Milo, and I haven't seen fresh and funny jokes every day! What is the face of 1 used for? You told me that face meant failure! I don't think this is right! Face is given by parents, you can't just throw it away! Throw it in front of your parents!

The four ugliest words in the world are not "pointed mouth and monkey cheeks" or "unsightly" but: I like you!

A girl, if you can't give her happiness, give her a sense of security! If you can't give her a sense of security, then give her satisfaction! If you can't even give her satisfaction ~ then get out of the way! Let me do it!

The saddest thing about Spring Festival travel rush Peak is not that you can't get tickets! But driving a * * * car back to their hometown. When you get to the expressway service area, go in and go to the toilet. Damn it! The car was taken away by someone else!

You are still holding your hand in low-cut clothes. Funny, you just got back from a trip to Thailand, and you really think you've become a woman!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not arrogant! Look at yourself. You're hopeless!

Many people make fun of other people's toads for eating swan meat, but they don't know that they are still the same egg when everyone else becomes a swan!

You said that seeing ugly people would make you sick and nauseous. Why do you look in the mirror for an hour every day?

I want to take you back to see my parents tomorrow. My parents always say that I am still a girl at this age, so don't be so picky. Looks are not important. Just make do with it! Now it's time for me to make a decision. Taking you back is to let my parents die!

10 A girlfriend's boyfriend's parents said that all five of us girls are pure. Personally, I feel quite ashamed after listening to it! I admit, all my girlfriends are pure, but why do you want to count me in? Because I am a very pure person!