The influence of father's unkindness to mother on children's character

Parents' temper and personality will be passed on to their children to a certain extent, but it is more about parents' words and deeds, that is, the so-called "love education."

Father's unkindness to mother will affect children.

Children instinctively rely on their mothers since childhood, so their mother's personality, language and behavior will affect their lives. How can we make the child's personality habits not develop in the opposite direction to the mother's personality and inherit the advantages of the mother? The best way is for a mother to restrain herself in front of her children and become a real mother.

In front of children, not at the negotiating table, mothers don't need to look at children with critical, critical and demanding eyes. Their aggressive attitude, harsh language, manipulative behavior and self-righteous judgment do far more harm to children's self-esteem and self-confidence than exam-oriented education. For a child, from the moment he was born, the child's demand for the role of mother is almost eternal.

1. Before entering the house, my mother must remind herself: forget all the unpleasant things at work, and now she is taking on the role of mother. Children need their mothers to be happy, so don't pass on bad feelings that have nothing to do with children to their mothers, because children are innocent.

Don't show boredom or disdain when the child happily tells his mother that he got a five-pointed star or a small red flower at school today. Be sure to praise him as happily as your son. The most appropriate way is to say whether you can show it to your mother and share this happiness with him, because this honor is very important to your child.

When a child comes to ask his mother questions like "How to pronounce this word", it's better for her mother not to answer him immediately. The worst answer is "How come you don't even know this word". Mom had better take a look and say, oh, I don't know. Shall we look up the dictionary together? After several times, the mother taught the child to use the dictionary. At the same time, children will have a great sense of accomplishment after looking up this word in the dictionary. After many times, he will get into the habit of not relying on his mother to look up information.

When children come to ask their mothers questions, their mothers should never behave as smart and capable as they do in the workplace. Pretending to be "ignorant" is a good way to encourage children to think clearly about this problem, or mothers can consult books with their children or use the internet. Mother can't say all the answers like "spill the beans from the bamboo tube" and be complacent while saying it, which is not good for the growth of children. After several times, the child will avoid asking her questions and become very inferior.

When the child tells his mother that she didn't do well in the exam today, her mother must restrain her emotions, don't be angry, and don't look gloomy. At this time, the child was nervously observing his mother's face. Therefore, the mother is good at showing no emotional changes, letting the children take out the papers and analyze what went wrong. If the child has understood what is wrong, the mother doesn't have to pester him any more. But in the end, I encouraged him: you see, if you understand, you won't be wrong in the next exam. If mom feels that she can't control her emotions, go to the bathroom to wash her face, look in the mirror and take a few deep breaths.

6. When the child shows timidity before the exam or before doing something important, the mother must disagree or reprimand him for being timid or acting more nervous than him, which will aggravate the child's psychological pressure and lead to the child's failure to play normally. At this time, the mother had better tell the child easily that no matter what you do, mom and dad are not as good as you at your age. Don't worry. At this time, the child will be very confident and confident, and will play better than usual.

7. If the child is going to participate in important activities the next day, when the mother observes that the child is absorbed and nervous, she'd better sleep with him at the bedside that night, and tell him a story or read his favorite book before going to bed to relieve his inner pressure until the child falls asleep.

8. When a child encounters failure or frustration, the mother should be strong and never give up, and tell the child calmly that failure only represents a moment, not a child's life failure. No children. Before she considered giving up, her mother first showed no hope. The worst thing is to dig at him in harsh language, scold the child for nothing, and even settle old scores and new ones. Children educated by such mothers will feel extremely inferior and even abandon their bright future.

9. Before the child has clearly expressed what he wants to say, the mother should not self-righteous express her views. Whether children like it or not, they should use the tone of "you must …" and "you should …" to command children, represent their own views with their own views and ask them to implement them. Mother must not be synonymous with "autocracy". In this case, the grown-up children lack independent opinions and the ability to judge right and wrong. Mothers and children should establish an equal relationship (equality is not unprincipled) and know how to respect each other.

10, mothers should control the way they speak in front of their children. Mothers know children best in the world, so mothers know their children's weaknesses best. If the mother often satirizes, criticizes or threatens the child's weakness when speaking, or deliberately asks the child to do it knowing that the child can't do it, this is undoubtedly stabbing the child's pain point with the sharpest weapon. The child will be very hurt inside, because this kind of injury comes from the people closest to him.

1 1. Mothers should control the number of languages in front of their children. Stop nagging. In fact, what scares children most is the mother's silence. So instead of talking endlessly to your child, it is better to tell your child in short language what mistakes he made or what he should pay attention to. Next, mother's silence is definitely more useful than continuing to talk. Don't think that children don't understand. Although he pretends to be indifferent, he is actually observing whether his mother takes what he says seriously.

12. In a word, mom is a mother at home, not a professional woman. A mother should take good care of her children's daily life, pay attention to their inner ups and downs, care about their every move, care for their childish emotions and cultivate their character.

If we want our children to surpass themselves in the future, then the most capable mother must be ignorant, stupid, slow and gentle in front of her children. In this way, her children will feel more knowledgeable, smarter and more agile than his mother.