Neighbor widows talk about it.

The traditional vulnerable groups in China include the old, the weak, the sick, the disabled and the widowed elderly. Among them, the widowed elderly are widowed, and the widowed husband and wife are widowed.

Old and widowed, lonely and helpless, such people are generally sympathized with. In fact, it is as poor as a lonely old man. However, people's narrow psychology often produces curiosity and voyeuristic ridicule for widows. Over time, there is such a saying: "There is little smoke on the widower's roof, and there are many things in front of the widow." There are many things in front of the widow's door, that is, "there is little smoke on the widower's roof."

The original meaning of a widower is No Country for Old Men, and it also means No Country for Old Men, which refers to a man who has lost his wife and not married. Today generally refers to a man who has lost his wife or divorced and never married. There is hardly any smoke on the widower's roof. An old man, without a wife, was left unattended at home and neglected to take care of himself. He often eats without food and can't sleep alone. Smoke billowed from the roof three times a day, and there was a smell of rice, which was full of affection and warmth.

A widower's family is full, but the whole family is not hungry. However, there is no other half, there is food to eat, and the last meal is not followed. It is rare that there is fire every day, and there is little smoke on the roof, which is deserted and miserable. This is rare in a society with the family as the basic unit, and it is also worthy of sympathy.

Compared with the widower's cold roof, the widow's door is very different. There are many things in front of the widow. How did right and wrong come about? Of course it was brought by people, of course it was brought by people's footsteps, which showed that there were many people and footprints in front of the widow's door. "There are many things in front of the widow's door", and the widow's door is so lively.

A widow is a woman whose husband died. Once a woman dies her husband, right and wrong will follow. Neighbors will change their friendly eyes and describe widows with different eyes. Think about it. Why did she die? How to die? Death or accident? What does this have to do with her? There are two answers according to different situations. One is a normal death, then this woman is the husband; Second, if she dies abnormally, this woman will hurt her husband. This has the first layer of right and wrong.

Widows lose their husbands, and the shackles of marriage exist in name only. The prodigal son lingered in front of the door, instead of going through the front door, trying to go through the back door. If you have something to say, you have nothing to do, and someone comes to harass you from time to time. This is beyond the widow's control. You can shut people out, but you can't stop your disciples. Desire is always stronger than language and ethical barriers, and resistance is unstoppable. If new people want to come again, people will whisper behind their backs. This is the second layer of right and wrong.

Although the husband is dead, the shackles of marriage are invisible, but they are binding women. In the traditional society of China, in many cases, women are not encouraged to remarry, and chastity is advocated. It is the most important marriage ethics that widows should stick to all their lives. However, once a woman has her own choice and marries a willing heart, the discussion will flood. In her later life, she was often accused of being immoral, and people stayed away from her, but she was still behind her back.

Widows' widowhood is officially advocated and praised by the society. Like Qin Shihuang, Sichuan widow Qing was praised as a living textbook by Qin Shihuang because she was widowed all her life. Praise is also a shackle. Men can have three wives and four concubines, but women have to hang themselves in the name of the dead for a lifetime until the loess is waist-high. This is actually very inhuman.