People who used to talk especially talk like this.

Perhaps, in life and in the workplace, you will have the same feeling as me: the same sentence has completely different effects in different people's mouths. Some people say it makes people happy, others say it makes people angry. This is the art of talking-people who can talk are more likely to enter other people's hearts.

People who can talk can refuse others without hurting others, get help happily, praise others' ideas, and quickly understand each other's needs and respond. People who can't speak can not only get to the point, but sometimes even make people angry, misunderstood and annoying.

Although I am wronged and obviously kind, how did this happen? But I can't speak. What can I do? Perhaps, we can find this answer and become a special talker in "People who can talk like this".

As a book that has won the number 1 in Japan's Amazon economic management rankings for many times, "People who can talk like this" has been warmly recommended by office workers because it is "easy to learn". It sold 260,000 copies just half a year after its listing, and won strong praise from more media.

The author of this book-Yoko Ono Lennon? 20 years of experience in enterprise psychological counseling, especially good at dealing with the improvement of interpersonal relationships. She knows the importance of "talking" in maintaining a relationship. Therefore, in order to give full play to the role of "speaking", in this book, he starts from the real scene of 14 1 to let you know why and how to speak, what not to say and what to say. ...

Help readers get rid of the confusion caused by communication rules and speaking skills and learn to use them without thinking. Refuse others politely, praise others sincerely and kindly, make more acceptable reminders and apologies, and even learn to apologize better and keep your distance from others.

In addition, by comparing the "appropriate" and "inappropriate" speeches in the book, we can finally understand why people who can speak are more efficient and popular, because what they say is more in line with people's hearts. In the process of reading, I found that those appropriate words generally conform to three principles: concrete, sincere and close to people's hearts. The three principles complement each other and depend on each other, and the isomorphism of * * * becomes the core of communication with people.

"It's hard", "It's not easy" and "Let's have dinner together sometime" ... I think you must be familiar with these words, which we often hear in our lives. Even so, it is very common, and because it is common, it becomes an expression, unable to convey effective information, and even makes people feel that it is a "routine" and insincere.

Be specific when you speak. The more specific the better. The more specific, the more people think you are reliable. For example, after a class, I thanked him. A said, "I learned a lot, and the teacher worked hard!" " And B said, "The platform publishing rules that the teacher talked about today have solved the problem of not being able to publish articles before, which has benefited me a lot. "

In contrast, the latter statement is obviously more appropriate. On the one hand, it shows that B really listened carefully in class, on the other hand, it also gave the lecturer a real feedback to let him know whether the content of this class solved the students' problems. In other words, what A said is suitable for any class, even many occasions, but the content of B is more targeted and sincere to this class.

In "Special Talking People Talk Like This", the author Xiao Ye Mengzi reminds us:

(a) the difference between pleasantries and truth lies in whether the content is specific;

(2) Compared with the mechanical response, it can convey your own ideas more concretely;

(3) Work instructions, requests, replies and emotional reactions, if not clear and specific, will easily lead to serious problems;

(4) Many things are too broad and not specific enough, which will make people feel confused;

(5) There is only one situation where you should not be particularly single-minded, and that is when you refuse others.

I don't know if you have this feeling, even in the online chat, you can obviously feel the mood of the person you are talking to. This is because language is the external expression of our hearts and the mapping of emotions and thoughts.

When a person likes another person, you will find that when two people talk, that person will be particularly happy or nervous. This proves once again that your words have not always betrayed your heart. Therefore, instead of deliberately concealing inner thoughts, it is better to convey them in a sincere way, which not only achieves the effect of communication, satisfies both sides, but also helps the speaker to understand his inner feelings more clearly.

Whether in life or in the workplace, sincere words are more popular Especially in intimate relationships, sincere communication is the cornerstone of two people's feelings and a good medicine to keep love fresh and warm.

Concrete and sincere communication is the closest to people's hearts, but at the same time, we should learn to use some communication skills to make what we say go straight to the listener's heart, leave a good impression on the other party, and make it easier for him to accept your opinions and suggestions.

For example, when a person does something wrong, blaming can't solve the problem, but it will make the other person feel uncomfortable and sometimes even lead to conflict. Therefore, at this time, your expression is very important, which can not only make the other party aware of the seriousness of the mistake, but also help him understand the cause of the mistake, know how to improve and remedy it, and avoid similar problems from happening again in the future.

solve problems

In "People who can talk in particular talk like this", the author suggests that we should grasp two points: one is to convey the facts, not your mood at the moment; Second, pay attention to respect each other's autonomy, put forward opinions and suggestions on problems, and promote progress. In other words, understanding and respect are the premise and goal of solving problems and making things develop normally.

That is to say, instead of scolding others "all because of you …", we should say "summarize the causes of mistakes, think about how to remedy them, and how to avoid them in the future …" and solve the problem well.

After reading the book "People who can especially talk talk like this", you will find that there is often only one word difference between "appropriate words" and "inappropriate words", which is "a tiny difference, a thousand miles away". It is this subtle gap that can determine whether a relationship is happy, change a cooperation, end a fight, and even change a person's life.

Learning to speak is not to please anyone, but to let us express ourselves better, pass on our truest thoughts to each other, bid farewell to the situation of speaking without thinking and hurting people unconsciously, increase the opportunities for mutual understanding with others, improve the relationship with others, form a benign interaction, and make our lives happier, work smoother and embark on a happy life path.

I don't read for nothing. I share good books every day! I look forward to working with you. I didn't read this book for nothing, but I got something! Thanks for meeting!