I'd rather it rains every day, thinking you're here because of it.

The rain is murmuring, like living by a stream.

I'd rather it rains every day, thinking that you can't come because of it.

August 13 Sunday light rain.

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A few days ago, I went home to see my grandfather. I watched the news in the afternoon, and the yellow lightning warned that the rain was gradually pouring down.

Looking at the rainy day outside the window, I suddenly remembered a sentence by Zhang Ailing in little reunion: The sound of rain is like living by a stream. I'd rather it rains every day, thinking that you can't come because of it.

I like rainy days, especially sitting on the marble edge by the window, watching the falling rain outside the window, feeling the cool and humid wind, quietly watching the clouds on the horizon gather, and if I am lucky, I can see the bright rainbow reflecting the sunshine after the rain.

Childhood is joyful, and I often imagine myself as a woman.

Looking at the torrential rain outside the window, accompanied by dribs and drabs of dimples on the ground, when I was three or five years old, it was the same rainy day as that day. Grandma showed me the cloak worn by talents in the play. I put on my hat and took another umbrella like a sword across the street to ask my grandfather who was playing chess outside to go home for dinner.

02

The first separation in life is also on such a rainy day.

Mom said that I was one year old and just learned to walk. We went to grandma's house together, but it rained heavily and had to leave me while I was sleeping. Later, she learned that after I woke up, I chased all the way to the Yellow River and ran for one kilometer along the highway.

Until later, someone around me said to take me to my mother, so I followed them all day, and no one told me to go home.

Later, before I went to kindergarten, I left my hometown full of childhood memories and left my hometown with dim lights on the same rainy day.

The separation of childhood can tear your heart out and make you cry like rain. When you grow up, separation is like cicadas peeling cocoons in the middle of the night, silently.

I have told you countless times that even if we are apart, we should say goodbye with a smile.

03

When I was a child, my mother left. Grandma said it was raining, so your mother couldn't come. She would come when the rain stopped.

The rain has stopped and she hasn't come yet. Grandma took out the watering pot and watered the grapes in the yard with me. Facing the sunshine, I saw the seven-color rainbow reflected by the rain-like water curtain, and I liked the seven-color aperture from then on. Maybe watching. I hope she comes.

When I grow up, I have the person I like. Although I only secretly like and miss my heart, my heart grows up with the wall made of rain.

When I was a child, I thought that people who missed it didn't come because of the barrier of Qian Shan's thousands of waters, because of intermittent rain or torrential rain. I hope the rain will stop and people will come; I didn't understand until I grew up. I would rather it rained every day, thinking that you didn't come because of the rain, but because you built your own heart wall.

04

I remembered Youyou written by Haiyan. Fifteen years old, I saw the fifteen-year-old leisurely in the play. She secretly stood in front of the mailbox and mailed every letter sent to Zhou Yue, bearing all her feelings, but never dared to sign it.

It was not until she finally got up the courage to meet Zhou Yue at the waterfall pavilion in the letter, but it was not until dusk and sunset that Zhou Yue appeared.

One is a girl waiting in a drizzly old street, and the other is a boy running in a sunny day after rain. Just like two parallel worlds, even if they meet for a short time, they will eventually run to an unknown distance like a dust in the air, whether the rain will stop or not.

05

This classmate lost his lover who had been together for a long time before. He said that he couldn't let go because it carried all his youth and all his college time.

I have also heard from my friends that I may never like others as much as I like him. I would also think that maybe no one likes himself more than him.

Sometimes we ask ourselves, after all, who can't let go, or the persistent memory, or ourselves in memory.

Just like Zhang Ailing's work "The heart is always a spectator, but people are people in the play", it is always difficult to get rid of the fog in the game; Even if they are separated, they are often difficult to extricate themselves.

06

I once watched a TV series "Love Your Life". Young people have to go to the countryside. Zeng Xiangyang had to stay in the city because he was looking for his lost sister. Koike went to the country alone.

Yu Baijia, who has always liked her, detained all the letters written by Xiangyang and stole the letters written by Koike to Xiangyang, which deepened the misunderstanding between them.

Koike was forced to marry him until he finally framed him. On the eve of the wedding, Koike braved the heavy rain and walked for several miles on the mountain road, trying his best to contact Xiangyang. Even the village chief can't stand it. He found a phone for her in the rain and finally dialed it. When she learned that Xiangyang was coming, tears and rain were intertwined, her eyes were dancing and she smiled like a star.

However, fate played a joke after all, and Xiangyang was imprisoned the day before Koike got married. Even if Xiaochi looks through the autumn water, she can't wait for the sun to take her out of her misery.

After marriage, Koike was tortured by hundreds of families because of the sunshine in his heart, until he was finally driven crazy.

Xiangyang finally came to Koike to take care of Koike. At that time, Xiangyang had fallen in love with someone else. Koike secretly buried the swallow's letter to Xiangyang in the soil, and then she suddenly realized that she was not that noble.

Love to the depths, there may be a moment of involuntary heartbeat, but it will really grow after the struggle.

Koike is kind after all. She finally brought the buried letter to Xiangyang and told him that she had recovered, but she didn't tell him in advance. She just wants to stay with Xiangyang for a few more days.

Her love for Xiangyang has not changed from beginning to end. She is so humble that she puts down her only self-esteem and does not hesitate to pretend to be crazy in exchange for the company of Xiangyang for a few days. However, feelings will never change a little because of whether to lower yourself.

The woman in red finally bravely went to another place alone, not letting the other person's life leave a trace of fetters because of herself.

Koike still learned to give each other freedom. Perhaps before her long trip, she was happy to watch them celebrate the New Year under the door outside Xiangyang.

She finally understood that what should come, no matter how heavy the rain, would come; Shouldn't have come, the rain has stopped, but still won't come.

07

The only difference is that when you finally learn to let go of your persistent self and worry about your worries, you will have real growth, just like a real cicada taking off its coat at night, like a butterfly that breaks its cocoon and flies freely.

No longer obsessed with whether the interference of foreign objects prevented him from coming, and finally it was a happy or sad ending, and no longer obsessed with collecting scattered fragments of whether the other party liked himself in memory. ......

Just let your heart be free, and let the light in your heart shine and illuminate yourself. If the person you miss doesn't come, give yourself a warm light. If the other party comes, that lamp is a starlight that illuminates the road ahead.

Therefore, I am no longer sad because of the gurgling rain, but like the short song of Raytheon in Leaves, "A thunderstorm is looming and the sky is gloomy, but I hope the storm will come and I can leave you here."

As it happens, on the road in the future, maybe you will meet someone who will also say to you, "There is a light thunderstorm and the sky is cloudy. Even if it doesn't rain, I will stay here."

At that moment, your smile was like the morning sun, the rising sun and the fire. You don't have to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, just say in your heart that you are happy.

At that time, you no longer need to build a rain wall in your heart, but you can freely let the fire seedling in your heart burn into a gentle fire in the fireplace, warming each other and yourself;

You don't have to secretly read the sentence "I'd rather it rains every day, thinking that you can't come because of it". Instead, he said enthusiastically and boldly, "I'd rather it rains every day, so you can stay here and never go."

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