One of the twins is first in the class, and the other is last in the class. What should you say when attending a parent-teacher meeting?

When you see this question, tell me about your own experience for the reference of all parents, whether your children are twins or not.

My children are twins, a boy and a girl. They basically received the same education from elementary school to junior high school. Now they are in different high schools, preparing for the 2021 college entrance examination.

I have participated in many parent-teacher conferences, but here, I want to say some other thoughts.

All along, the two children went from home to school with the same teachers, the same parents, the same environment, and the same basic education.

The difference is that since kindergarten, the two children have had different extracurricular arrangements. The boy has been learning chess, while the girl has been studying art and music.

I went to primary school in Beijing.

In the lower grades, the two children had similar academic scores and could not be distinguished.

After reaching fifth grade, some gaps began to appear, mainly in mathematics. Girls have always disliked it, and their grades have slowly fallen.

At that time, in order to improve the girls’ mathematics, the children’s mother planned to enroll them in the Mathematical Olympiad. After the trial, the girls disliked it very much, so they finally gave up.

In junior high school, he returned to Baoding, Hebei to study.

There are more courses and the homework is relatively heavy. The boy's adaptability has come into play, and he has always been first or second in the class. The other boy competing was also a boy, and happened to be the child of my graduate school classmate. The two boys competed with each other, and the other children were far behind. Often the third place would be 20-30 points behind them.

It is also possible that some habits developed by playing chess have helped him. He is used to setting goals and having plans to achieve them. This makes me very happy.

At this time, the girl's problems became relatively serious, and it was difficult to correct her partiality in subjects. However, she was still doing well overall. She was in the second group of the class, ranking about 6-10 in the class.

In order to improve their physical and chemical skills, especially those of girls, I teamed up with four other parents to build a small physical and chemical laboratory, and hired a master of engineering from the nearby 211 University to give them Initiate experimental classes in advance.

Up to now, this is probably the time when they have participated in the most experiments, because later, there were really few experimental classes in middle schools.

In a blink of an eye, it’s time for the high school entrance examination.

Because of their household registration, they came to Tianjin to take the high school entrance examination.

The boy’s ideal is Nankai Middle School. In his words: Grandpa will be very happy to be an alumnus of Premier Zhou and Premier Wen.

However, I did not go as expected and took the independent examination of Nankai Middle School. The boys’ math scores were very poor. Most of the test questions were suitable for the Mathematical Olympiad. This is the only time I regretted that I did not let them insist on learning the Mathematical Olympiad. matter.

After missing out on Nankai Middle School, the boy was admitted to another key high school and joined an experimental class.

The girl encountered another difficulty. She was not very good at physical education. The physical education score accounted for 30 points in the high school entrance examination. For this reason, in two months, I took her to the school every weekend. In Beijing, a national-level champion was invited to train her and develop a one-week training plan.

In the end, the girl was still nearly 5 points behind the key high school scores and about 40 points behind her younger brother, so she entered an ordinary high school.

By the second year of high school, the scores of the two children had increased to over 100 points.

Now, facing the college entrance examination, boys have their own plans, probably 985 such as Beihang University, Beijing Institute of Technology or Nankai University. I feel that if nothing unexpected happens, they should be relatively sure.

I discussed with him, is there a possibility of Qingbei?

He said no.

I say, whether you can get into Qingbei does not depend on your parents, nor on your teachers, nor on yourself.

The boy asked, who does it depend on?

I said: It depends on whether there will be smoke from our ancestral graves.

The goal the girl set for herself was Shanghai International Studies University.

I asked: There are many good universities in Tianjin, such as medical universities and normal universities. Have you considered them?

She believes that if you can learn a foreign language well, it is also a good choice.

I think if we use the right method in the next five months, we will have a better chance. Actually, I'm still worried. This goal is a bit high.

I hope she can get into a normal school and become a teacher in the future. I think that is the most suitable job for girls.

In fact, if your child is not extremely excellent, or extremely not outstanding (you know), you will not have many formal speaking opportunities at parent-teacher meetings.

When I was in junior high school, I once had the opportunity to speak at a parent-teacher meeting in the school. I interacted with the vice-principal of a prestigious school in Beijing who was invited by the school. The vice-principal asked me to summarize and refine several advantages of my child. I evaluated the two children more objectively. The principal actually wanted to see if the parents understood their children objectively.

Generally, after the class parent-teacher conference at school, you can talk to the teacher about your child alone. In fact, this is an unsystematic communication with limited effect.

At the beginning of every stage of education, one thing you have to do is to establish effective communication channels with your child’s class teacher and other teachers, instead of just improvising when you encounter problems. .

When I was in junior high school, one time, my son was naughty in physics class, and the homeroom teacher called me. Because everyone was already familiar with her, her first sentence was a bit teasing: Your son made the physics teacher angry. It’s on.

I was out of town and called the physics teacher to learn about the situation: My son was sitting in the front row. In the physics class, when the teacher was about to explain the "small hole imaging" experiment, my son took the teacher's candle Blow it out, causing the whole class to burst into laughter.

It’s not a big deal, I called my son at night.

He completely guessed what I was going to call, and I guess he already had a way to deal with me.

I asked directly: What did the teacher do after you blew out the candles? Have you been criticized or punished?

The son said: No, the teacher relit the candle and continued the class.

I asked: Do you know why the teacher didn’t criticize you?

He was silent, and I started to make up a story. I said:

The teacher first thought that you were a good student and that you had fully previewed the course (remember the self-constructed experiment I mentioned earlier room). More importantly, the teacher wants to save face for you. The teacher is trying to save you face. You should consider whether you should find an opportunity to apologize to the teacher in private.

The son was surprised and said in a long voice: Oh...

Then what I heard was silence.

A few days later, on the weekend, my physics teacher and I found a place to have a drink. I asked: Teacher X, did your child apologize to you in person? The teacher said that the child came to him, but in the end he did not apologize.

The two of them laughed, as if they were two grown men playing a prank on a child.

Full communication between parents and teachers, giving children self-esteem and thinking, and treating their children equally are the only ways to promote the healthy growth of children.

Especially junior high school students are entering adolescence and are prone to rebellion.

Cooperate well with teachers, especially class teachers, and your children will grow up smoothly.

You must maintain the teacher's dignity in front of children.

In front of the teacher, it is necessary to understand the child's strengths and weaknesses.

Until now, my two children are willing to tell me immediately no matter whether their grades are good or bad, especially when their grades are not good, because they can find comfort and some solutions in me. Instead of a blunt sentence: Why didn't I do well in the exam?

Parent-teacher conferences are only one of the communication methods, not even the most important communication method, unless the school arranges major matters in a unified manner.

Only effective cooperation between home and school can ensure that children grow up healthily and achieve ideal results suitable for them.

Thank you everyone for your sharing and wise comments! I am deeply inspired and feel that the long road of parenting requires continuous practice and continuous self-improvement...Grow and progress together with Dragon and Phoenix!

Can answer: differentiated education [face covering]

In actual teaching work, it is quite common to encounter twins. Sometimes they are a pair of sisters, and sometimes they are a pair of sisters. It could also be an older brother and a younger brother, or a boy and a girl. For twins, generally speaking, one will have better academic performance and the other will have relatively poor academic performance. Of course, there are also cases where twin sisters or brothers have very good grades.

There is such a pair in my class at present. The younger brother has poorer grades and the older brother has better grades. The elder brother is basically at the top of the class and the younger brother is basically at the bottom of the class. The two brothers are both in their first year of high school. In terms of intelligence level, there is not much difference. The main factor that affects their performance is the degree of diligence. My brother's grades are good because he can calm down, sit still, and study with peace of mind. On the contrary, my younger brother can't sit still, is more impetuous, and his academic performance is much behind.

The difference in performance is mainly caused by acquired factors. Therefore, in the process of family education, parents should pay attention to the guidance and cultivation of methods and habits. Although we say that the palms and backs of our hands are full of flesh, in reality it is difficult to treat twins equally. Most twins are particularly sensitive. They are particularly sensitive to the different perspectives from their parents, relatives, teachers, classmates, etc., leaving a lifelong imprint on their young minds.

As a parent, when attending your child's parent-teacher conference, you still need to analyze your child's problems realistically and express your opinions objectively and fairly. Differences in children's performance are normal, and parents should not make deliberate comparisons. The lagging performance may only be temporary. Or the child just has poor grades, but he may have advantages in other aspects, such as high emotional intelligence, good communication, being sincere in treating others, etc. Parents should encourage their children to use their strengths and avoid weaknesses according to their children's characteristics, and make the best use of the situation.

In short, for the family education of twin children, parents should treat them differently and teach them in accordance with their aptitude. It is not recommended to treat the two children exactly the same. Parents should respect their children's personality and guide their children to develop and grow according to their own personality characteristics.

Thanks for asking:

Education is essentially about amplifying individual growth differences through instructional "deliberate practice."

As the saying goes: "A dragon gives birth to nine sons, all of whom are different." "A tiger gives birth to three sons, and there must be one." In the natural world, you cannot find two leaves that are exactly the same length, and you cannot find two leaves that are exactly the same. identical rivers. Similarly, in human society, no two people are exactly the same, even if they are identical twins.

Life is endowed with a natural material combination of reproductive capacity + growth cycle + self-healing function for a small amount of damage. What a living individual should look like, how to achieve generational rotation, and what natural environment it is suitable to survive in... These are all determined by natural physiological genetic inheritance. However, as a higher-level natural life, in addition to the basic physiological characteristics of animal groups, the ability to adapt to the natural living environment needs to be learned through acquired exploration, such as the hunting skills of lions + tigers + cheetahs and other carnivores, antelopes + hares + The ability of vegetarian animals such as bison to escape predators. However, it is the different life skills brought together by these bits and pieces that result in different divisions among similar species. For example, there are more than 2,000 different human nations living on the earth.

Human beings are the most intelligent and high-level mammals in the natural life system. Among the natural life systems, only humans have evolved systematic abstract social civilization achievements. Only humans have the ability to interact with similar species on a large scale. The ability of division of labor and cooperation to transform the combination of natural materials. Only humans have improved their own food supply structure by domesticating sowing plants and taming captive animals... However, in addition to physiological characteristics, the acquired social and civilized life skills of human society are all Not a genetic trait. Therefore, in the course of thousands of years of evolutionary practice, human society has formed a complete and unique comprehensive social practice activity that guides and assists children in growing up - education.

Education, a comprehensive social practice activity that guides and assists children to grow up to adulthood, is the core of human social civilization and the fundamental guarantee for everyone to acquire basic survival skills after birth. It is a strong backing to help modern families solve their "worries" about childbirth. The core goal of education is to cultivate talents and enlighten people, and the fundamental task of education is to improve intelligence and teach students to solve doubts. Its essence is to use the mature rules of human society to restrain children's growth and temperament, and to empower them to adapt to the life of human society independently. comprehensive ability.

Education is the most complex comprehensive behavioral art in the history of human society. It is like painting. Parents and teachers color their children over and over again, hoping that the children can present the picture they imagined. However, children are independent individuals with full behavioral willpower. They will discard or add many colors according to their own preferences; education is the most difficult picture to draw in the history of human society, because every parent and teacher can only rely on what they have. Experience guidance can help children learn and grow, and we can only rely on the guidance of known social civilizations in human society to help children adapt to life in the unknown world; education is the easiest picture to draw in the history of human society, because as long as the environment adapts, children will always adapt to their own preferences. Coloring for yourself, children can always use their existing wisdom and experience to solve problems encountered in life; education is the greatest century project in the history of human civilization, because only the best resources of human society can be provided to children Only in human society can we have talents from generation to generation, and can we ensure that each generation of talents becomes stronger than the last.

"Book of Rites·Jingjing": ""Yi" says: 'A gentleman should be cautious at the beginning. If the difference is as small as a millimeter, it will be a thousand miles.'" A slight difference is a thousand miles: it means that although the difference is very big at the beginning. Tiny, the results can make a big difference. Allusion: During the Western Han Dynasty, Zhao Chongguo went to quell the rebellion in the northwest region on the order of Emperor Xuan of the Han Dynasty. Seeing that the rebels were disorganized, he adopted methods of appeasement and made most of the rebels surrender. But Emperor Xuan of the Han Dynasty ordered him to send troops, but the result was unfavorable. Later, he collected military rations according to the emperor's order and caused a rebellion. He said with emotion: "It's really a mistake of a thousand miles."

Human beings are the most malleable in the natural life system. Children who are almost identical at birth will become farmers, workers, businessmen, etc. when they grow up. Some have become doctors, some have become teachers, some have become civil servants... Human individuals are most similar when they are born. Except for weight, gender, and sparse hair, they are almost identical. All their diets are the same. Daily living must be completed with assistance, and they cannot control their bodies independently. Crying is their only way to communicate with the outside world.

Individual success = 1% talent + 99% sweat, 1% talent is yeast, such as diving + track and field + weightlifting + shooting +... and other sports champions, calligraphy + folk art + literature + painting +... and other famous experts, aerospace + deep-sea exploration + energy research + education +... and other experts... TM are all outstanding people who have spent a lot of time "deliberately practicing" in a certain field. However, what really helps them "stand out" is their invisible talent. Talent = understanding ability + memory ability + imagination ability + creative ability + practical transformation ability. Of course, children who have not yet received education are like bullets fired for aiming before they go to school. Everyone looks exactly the same when they lie down together. However, once children begin to receive education, they will be loaded into different "gun barrel schools" and shot at different targets. Therefore, education is essentially about amplifying individual growth differences through instructional "deliberate practice."

Being able to raise twins into two extremes, as a parent, I must be filled with emotions. If I were my child's class teacher, I would definitely praise the child who is number one and talk about the child's strengths. Then we will discuss with you privately the child who is ranked last, what shortcomings and deficiencies he has, and what are the reasons that lead to him being ranked last. I will not force the last child to become a positive child. I will hope to work with you to make the child from the bottom slowly improve, even if he is the second or third child.

The parents of the last child must know the specific situation best, so I won’t make any assumptions.

Sorry, I didn’t answer the question!

This case just proves the difference in learning and development! That is to say, the development environment is the same, the genetic genes are the same, and the living conditions are the same, but their interests, hobbies, ideals and beliefs, and potential development are different!

The child with the lowest grades did not develop his interests and potential!

Peking University has two accomplished presidents in its history. When he entered Peking University, one had a math score of 25 points and the other had a math score of zero! In other words, their hobbies and potential are not in mathematics! Their hobbies and potential lie in Chinese, politics or management!

The fine tradition of Chinese education is to cultivate outstanding talents with 360 skills. The evaluation standard should be to evaluate the 360 ??top scorers with 360 skills. However, today’s college entrance examination is based on The three hundred and sixty top scorers in three hundred and sixty lines became two top scorers in arts and sciences!

If you are interested in other foreign languages, you cannot learn them. You must learn English, otherwise you will not be able to go to key high schools and universities! Your "death sentence" will be pronounced in the college entrance examination hall!

Therefore, China’s education needs to be reformed, the talent evaluation standards must be reformed, and the rewards for scientific and technological talents must also be reformed!

I request interested friends to read my article - China's Comprehensive Education Reform Plan!

As a class teacher, I will not easily let you speak in this situation, because this speech will not have much positive energy for either the children or the class parents. Whether you look at it from the good side or from the bad side, it is your own children who are hurt. The worse one will do more harm, so I hope you give up the idea of ??speaking as soon as possible! Let your children grow up happily and communicate with teachers more often. Learn more about the living and learning conditions of children with disabilities!

I think, let’s put it this way;

This is easy to handle! Isn't there an exam? In this exam, those with good grades pretended to be those with poor grades. Change it next time you take the exam.

Otherwise, on the test paper, you write my name and I write yours. In this way, wouldn't the results of the two people be balanced?

During normal classes, two people can often change seats and answer questions. Because most students and teachers distinguish between you and me by looking at clothes and accessories.

This kind of operation is very feasible. In this way, advanced people are encouraged and backward people are helped. Twins, can go hand in hand. Under the "famous reputation, it is actually worth it", slowly, the results of both people will really improve.

Once upon a time, there was a man who opened a shaobing stall and sold shaobing. The sesame cakes are pretty big, so an adult would feel full after eating two. At this time, an adult came with a little boy to buy sesame cakes.

The adult said, "Your sesame cakes are too small, and they are expensive. My kid won't be full after eating two!" The seller of sesame seed cakes got angry and said, "No way, you let the children eat first. If they can eat four, then I won't pay for it and the sesame seed cakes will be given to you for free!"

The child started to eat sesame cakes. After eating two of them quickly, the child said, "Dad, I have to go pee and eat when I get back." The child went to the latrine, peed, and came back. The child also touched his belly decently and started eating again. Of course, I had to eat the other two sesame seed cakes.

The sesame seed seller lost. The adults took the children and left the sesame cake stall. The sesame seed seller was still muttering, this kid can really eat four!

What's going on? Since the story is told in this article and is about twins, readers can of course guess it. Otherwise, wouldn't that be mentally retarded?

The children eating sesame seed cakes are twins. When I went to pee, I "changed someone" in the latrine. Twins, even your mother can often not tell them apart, let alone "two surnames". It is not a "classic joke" that a mother feeds one child twice, but the other child does not; bathes one child twice, but the other child does not.

Twins have many advantages and disadvantages. We must maximize our strengths and avoid weaknesses so that this natural phenomenon can exist naturally. As long as you are selfish in your marriage relationship and don't make mistakes or troubles, it will be fine. Aren’t there triplets, quadruplets, and multiples? That would be even more of a blessing to have children, and it would also make the family family more prosperous.

We know that there is a pair of twins named Liu Quanli and Liu Quanhe, who are comedians. They cleverly used the innate advantage of "twins" to create many comedies, pantomimes, and dramas, which were recognized and appreciated by the audience.

In days gone by, twins were rare. Now it feels like as soon as you go to the park or go to the school gate, twins appear in endless streams, and there is already an endless supply of children and grandchildren.