Positive and humorous jokes

There are super humorous jokes, pornographic jokes, dirty jokes, etc. The collection of classic funny jokes can make people laugh to death. We use these jokes through communication and conversation. Next is the "Positive Humorous Jokes" I carefully prepared for you, welcome to watch! Positive and Uplifting Humorous Jokes (Popular)

1. My sister is eating a bag of potato chips in her hand. My brother also wanted to eat it, so he said to his sister, sister, please help me taste the potato chips to see if they are crispy. My sister carefully took out a piece and put it in her mouth. While eating, she said that it was very crispy. , quite crispy.

2. The teacher saw a student plugging his ears with cotton in class and asked the student if he was injured. The student actually replied, Teacher, didn’t you say yesterday that I learned knowledge from the left ear into the right ear? If not, then I will use cotton to stuff the knowledge inside. The teacher was speechless.

3. Why does the United Nations not take a position on the Diaoyu Islands incident? There are conflicts between small countries. Once they are mediated, the conflicts disappear. There is a conflict between a small country and a big country. Once they are reconciled, the small country disappears. There are conflicts between major powers. Once they are mediated, the United Nations will disappear. May you be happy!

4. I send you my sincere love. Whether it can touch your heart depends on whether you are intentional or not. Please see my kindness and love, but what you get in return is sadness and heartache. You are still happy, can you really bear to be unhappy? Haha, I wish you joy!

5. Watching TV with my ten-year-old son, an evil mother-in-law forced her daughter-in-law to death, my son asked me :?Mom, will you ever force my wife to death in the future? How could you force your mother to be so kind to your grandma? No, I mean, will you force my wife to death in the future!?

6. Ami went back to the city for the first time. At the bus station, she was squeezed onto the second floor of a double-decker bus. She looked around and accidentally saw that there was no driver in the front half of the bus. She blurted out: ? , city people are like cows, how amazing it is to be able to make this iron guy run on his own!?

7. People holding mobile phones listen: you have been tracked by happiness, hunted by good luck, and monitored by wealth. , attacked by health, successfully attacked, and targeted by happiness, please immediately put down the weapons of sorrow and pain in your hands, and get rid of the injury and stress bombs on your body immediately!

8. A female classmate has not seen you for several years. She turned from a toothpick girl to a fat man. I met a buddy on the street today, and we were all surprised! After a few seconds of silence, a buddy said: They say time is like a butcher's knife, how come it turns into pig feed when it touches you?

9. You said you are gentle and cute, you said you have extraordinary temperament, you said you are charming, you said you are loved by everyone, you said you have never given up on being a new generation idol, I believed you and picked it up on a whim. Your photo was used as a screen saver on my mobile phone. Oh my god, my computer crashed instantly!

10. Chinese language: Weibo is very popular now, and we are also going to start a topic called Weiwen. Mathematics: Then we call it micromathematics. Physics: We call it microphysics. English: We call it Micro-English. The creature suddenly burst into tears: Damn, I won’t play with you anymore! Positive humorous jokes (classic)

1. The bus stopped at a certain stop and the driver opened the door. A person waiting for the bus asked: "Are we going to stop A?" The driver said angrily: "No." ?Close the door. The man asked again: "Are we going to station B?" The driver quickly opened the door and said, "We'll get there." The man glanced at the driver and turned away.

2. Today’s buses have two doors, the front door to enter and the back door to exit. One day, when the bus arrived at the stop, a man got on the bus through the back door. Someone said dissatisfiedly: "You entered through the front door." ?The man said confidently: ?Isn’t it popular nowadays to go through the back door?

3. ?Sanba? Order me to love you, drown your worries, wash away your confusion, destroy your melancholy, break Your cowardice stirs up your happiness, ripples your happiness, builds your success again, hangs your pride, why don’t you come and kiss me, everything is wet and sweet!

4. A beautiful woman Passing by a fortune teller, he stopped to calculate his fortune. Beauty: I want to ask when can I meet my significant other.

Fortune teller: Do you want it to be accurate or inaccurate? Beauty: Of course it is accurate. Fortune teller: Go back and take off your makeup before coming back.

5. A man touched a woman on the bus. The woman glared at him fiercely. After a while, the man touched the woman again. The woman said angrily this time: What are you doing? The man was embarrassed. Said? You have been stepping on my feet, haven't you damaged your feet? ?

6. One day when I was taking the bus, I got a call from a classmate who was doing well. I didn’t want to lose my price in front of him, so after chatting for a few words, I said: “Let’s talk some other time, I’m driving!” As a result, the bus announced its stop in time: ?Ding dong? People’s Square has arrived. Please prepare to get off at the back door!?

7. The rich man took his silly son to visit the food factory. He said: The production line here is very Go ahead, the pig goes in here, and the sausage comes out over there. The silly son asked: Is there a kind of production line where the sausages go in and the pigs come out? The rich man said angrily: Your mother is!

8. Tang Monk stretched out his palm and looked up to the sky and laughed: Hahahaha! I It’s the leader! Zhu Bajie smiled with a big belly: Haha, I am rich and handsome! Sha Monk pinched his beard and smiled: I have a big beard, a big beard! At this time, Sun Wukong’s eyes flashed with gold and he said: Could it be that I am the grandson!

9. A certain man always sees a beautiful woman on the bus. He likes to look at her secretly after getting on the bus. One day, after looking at her secretly, he didn’t expect the fat woman next to her to come over. Say to a certain man? Do you want my phone number? Why are you always looking at me secretly? I have been paying attention to you for several days. ?

10. Go to an Internet cafe to stay up all night and recall the laziness of being single; go to the park to play and reminisce about the romance of love; go to a karaoke bar to sing and release the tension of life; go to a movie theater to time travel and review the vicissitudes of time. On the weekends, I am thinking wildly, my wife calls, and I go home for dinner. All imaginations were dashed. Positive and humorous jokes (selected articles)

1. Yesterday I went to the pedicure shop downstairs to wash my feet. A new guy washed my feet. The young master's hands were very strong and he pinched her painfully several times. I said "be gentle" no less than five times. When the sister couldn't help but say to be gentler again, the boy became shy and said weakly: "If it's gentler, it's just touching." ?

2. Smoking leaves the poisonous gas to yourself and the heat to the earth. Global warming is not my fault, it is all caused by paying taxes in accordance with the law. What's wrong with me smoking? I still pay tax. I spend money to smoke, but if you smoke second-hand smoke, it’s free and you don’t pay a penny of tax. If you don’t pay taxes, you have no say.

3. In winter, the bus is very crowded, and there are always people standing. There is an elder sister wearing a scarf in front. It circled around the neck and then threw it back, hitting the neck of the person behind. The eldest sister turned around and looked at the person behind her, and said with a smile: Hey, your scarf is the same as mine!?

4. People in the new era wait on the bus to go to work, and men in the new era will be greedy. , The women of the new era are wrapped in gold and silver, the puppies of the new era are better than their owners, the cities of the new era are full of smoke, the jobs of the new era are so annoying, I finally found a job and he said he will not pay you salary but only commission, I was so angry on the spot Call him a thief.

5. The most annoying people on the bus are those who smoke. However, a man was smoking intoxicatedly and spit the smoke in front of a young lady. ?Can you be more qualified!? You are already very good at numbers. Look at that wisp of smoke, isn’t it just the number 3?