Is it really difficult for couples to walk halfway?

20 15 my ex-wife and I ended our marriage because of disagreement, and we separated peacefully without children. Later, I met her (Xiaoping). She and I are both married. She has a seven-year-old boy (Xiaotian).

? I know it's a little harder for couples to walk halfway than ordinary couples, so I try my best to please the children and take them to play. Xiaotian has always been hostile to me. He never calls me voluntarily. He took the initiative to talk to me. He has always been hostile. I can only try to make him accept me slowly.

After marriage, my mother took care of the children at home, but something happened while raising the children. She has always felt that her mother-in-law doesn't like children very much and ignores them. Whenever Xiao Tian fights with other children, my mother doesn't care much. She always lets it go. After a long time and more times, Xiaotian always complained to his mother, so her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were always unhappy because of this matter, and my mother would also cry loudly, saying that she must have committed a crime. My wife is always patient once or twice. After a long time, we both have various small shields. I'm caught in the middle. I'm not human. It's really uncomfortable

Now she and I are both very tired, and we can't handle the family relationship well, and we can't handle the relationship with our children well. Really tired, the road between husband and wife is really difficult.

Emotional bean brother puzzles:

After listening to your statement, I found that it is really not easy for you to be a man. Now you have to face a series of problems with your wife, children and elders. Based on your description and subsequent understanding, I make the following suggestions for your reference only.

For a wife: First of all, honesty is an important foundation. What couples pay attention to halfway is "I exchange my heart for this life." Just think, if couples who meet after a long separation don't have the same language and the same interest in life, it is impossible to finish the second half of their marriage. For more than a year, from your description, you and your wife cherish this hard-won relationship. Personally, I think the key for you and your wife is to get along, and loess becomes gold. Only by treating each other with sincerity and respecting customers can we achieve positive results. So it should be easier than usual to do this step well and solve all kinds of problems with one heart. Find the reasons together when you encounter problems, sit down and analyze together, find a solution to the problem, and solve it point to point. Maybe this is a key step for you and your wife.

For the elders: the elders take care of your children, at least indicating that the elders approve of your marriage. In this article, the child complains to his mother, and as you and your wife, you should build a bridge instead of asking the elders what the child says. You should try to find out why your mother doesn't care, whether you don't want to care, find the essential reason, solve the fundamental problem, and usually match the emotional communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the communication channels between elders and children.

For children: When dealing with children, when children don't adapt to or understand you in some aspects at first, they will always communicate with them on the basis of marital feelings, and even care more about helping them grow up. It is true that for a child like Xiaotian, it is necessary for your wife to communicate well with the child, try to find out why the child always fights, solve the problem fundamentally, try to find out the reason why the child doesn't understand and accept it, and get the answer from the child.

Of course, for children, we can't indulge and indulge blindly in order to please him, which will only be counterproductive.

In a word, marriage is the most important event in the course of life, so we must manage it carefully. Especially for couples who are already halfway through, whether they don't get married or get married again, they should conscientiously fulfill their respective responsibilities and obligations in a way of "not forgetting your initiative".