"son! You pinched mom's hand purple! ! "

Although several days have passed, you can still see the bruises on the back of your hand. When I think of my son losing his temper a few days ago, I am still filled with emotion. I wonder if you, as a parent, have ever been bullied by children-kicking, hitting, biting and pinching you? If so, please leave a message and tell your story. Being a parent is not easy. Grab a paw first.

First, the years are quiet, and small and medium-sized beasts suddenly broke out.

A few days ago, I was working on the computer and my son went home. He was in a good mood just after learning painting, so we said hello. He said he wanted to borrow my mobile phone to learn origami from Xiaohongshu. I said yes, so I turned on his cell phone to search for origami, and then he went back to his room to origami. My heart is very relaxed, and I feel that my son is really conscious and can play by himself without disturbing my work. It's nice to be filial and quiet.

I just enjoyed a quiet time. Suddenly, I heard my son shouting and throwing things in his room. I walked over and saw him losing his temper and crying with a semi-finished origami in his hand. "How did this happen?" ! "I can't do it well! "Throw the pencil hard to the ground and push the things on the table forward at random.

I tried to sympathize with him. "Is it difficult to origami? Do you feel very angry and unhappy? " Well, he was even more angry. He picked up a pen and threw it on the ground! To be honest, I'm a little angry, too. "Throwing things can solve the problem? ! "As soon as I said anything, I realized that if I continued to say so, it would become a sermon. He was simply not listening to such a little beast.

What shall we do? We must find a way to get him to close the lid of his brain first.

Second, the contest in the storm

I realize that the child is like a furious little lion now, with the lid on his head open, and it is difficult to control his words and deeds with reason. Therefore, this time is not the time to be reasonable. We must find a way to calm him down.

I asked him, "You are very angry now. Why don't you have a rest first? What do you think will make you feel better? " He seemed a little moved by this sentence, and went out to the living room like a headless fly, and then took it to heart. I saw him pull open the refrigerator and take out the mini ice cream. He looked up at me angrily, actually to see how I would react. I smiled a little helplessly and acquiesced.

When he tore open the wrapping paper to eat, I came to remind him that "you are still coughing and stuttering, drink some hot water", and then poured him a cup of warm water. I don't think I heard him. He chewed and didn't pick up the warm water I handed him. "This can't be done, the stomach will catch a cold!" He still took a big bite. I didn't think it would work, so I held the ice cream in my hand to stop him. He is still angry and wants to hit me. I said, "Don't hit mom!" "He pinched the ice cream on the back of my hand and took it away. It hurts me. " How dare you pinch me? ! It hurts like hell! How could you do this to your mother? ! ! @ @& amp； * #% ... "annoyed, angry, sad, I started yelling at him.

Dear friends, what is your first reaction when children treat you like this? Yell at him, pinch his back, at least spank him, right? Let him know that he can never do this to his mother, he has turned against you! ! Me, too. Just when I was so angry that I wanted to pinch it back, those eyes that made me shudder flashed in my mind. Those eyes remind me that I can't call back simply and rudely.

At that time, my son was sitting on the bed, staring straight at me, his eyes full of indifference, rebellion and rejection. It is the message conveyed in the eyes of our children when they are unwilling to give it to each other after competition-"I hate you! ! You can't subdue me! This is what I want! " When he stared at me, he looked like a stranger with a deep hatred, which was completely different from the warm man who was usually sensible, considerate and loving.

I was really scared and surprised to see that expression in my heart. It was the weakest moment as a parent. How did the rebellious break that adolescent children have come at this time come from? At that tense moment, I became an enemy rather than a relative in his eyes. That look left a deep impression on me, reminding me that the connection between parents and children needs to be maintained and will not always exist for granted. Don't go to the point where children hate it.

So at this moment, although I am extremely angry, I still let my remaining rationality convince myself that it is more troublesome and uncomfortable to pinch it back. If I figure out something, I can control the situation! I let myself take a deep breath and calm down, thinking, "Biology, biology, he just lost his mind for a while. I can't be like him."

Then, I asked him relatively calmly, "Why are you pinching me? You see, it's all purple to me. It hurts very much. I'm just reminding you. "

The son said with the aftermath of anger and tears, "Who told you not to let me eat?" ! "

I patiently explained, "You are still coughing. You can't eat ice cream like this, or your cough will get worse. "

The son is a little wrong, "because the more you talk, the more annoying I am!" " "

I'm relaxed, too "You can eat, but you have to stutter, heat it up before swallowing it, and then drink some hot water."

This time he listened and drank the hot water I handed him.

Then he went into the room and sat in front of the computer. I know he wants to play games for a while, thinking it will be good and make him feel better. So I stayed with him, didn't stop him, and didn't make an appointment with him for ten minutes as usual. If I say so, it will definitely be annoying.

When he is with him, he is allowed to eat ice cream, but he must drink hot water mouthful by mouthful.

He is playing a puzzle game, how to keep the kitten from being caught in the rain, and he has tried many times without success. I tried a new method with him, and finally he succeeded, and we were both very happy. I took the opportunity to say, "Let's play here first!" He also obediently agreed.

Third, rally and clean up the old rivers and mountains.

At this point, our mood has calmed down, and there is no such tense atmosphere between two people. We can feel the inner connection coming back.

"Well, let's continue to finish origami! Pick up the things on the ground first. "

The son with his head closed can listen at this time and obediently pick up the things on the ground.

"Where did you meet with difficulties just now? You can talk to your mother and we can work it out together. "

He picked up the paper on the table and explained how he had just met with difficulties and how he couldn't handle them. Then we carefully studied how to fold the tutorials on the mobile phone together. One thousand words were omitted here, and the problem was finally solved. We both broke the rabbit's ear with paper towels. He drew eyes, mouth, etc. Rabbit face. Seeing the finished product, he felt very fulfilled and ran out to demonstrate with his grandparents.

Then, he was very interested, and he wanted to continue to fold. He saw the other one connected with many small origami. When he turned it over, it would change the pattern like magic. He suggested making another one, and I cooperated, so the two of us cooperated and folded it together, which was very successful in the end. He also wants to take a group photo with two works, and we are both very happy.

At this point, it's time to eat, so I eat first, but I know in my heart that this matter is not over yet, and there are still very important homework to do.

4. What if the little beast breaks out again?

After dinner, I took my son back to my room and enjoyed playing with two more works we made and chatting for a while.

Then, I said to my son, "Harry, look, you have pinched the back of mother's hand purple." I am not only in pain, but also in anger and sadness. I hope you apologize to me. " My son bowed his head and said "I'm sorry" without looking at me.

I felt it necessary to teach my child how to apologize, so I said to him, "I hope you can apologize sincerely." You can say,' mom, I'm sorry, I shouldn't pinch you, my hand hurts. I won't do it again. "

He smiled and said, "Mom, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pinched you. My hand hurts." Maybe he thinks it's funny and not embarrassing to say so.

I know it's not easy for my son to say sorry. He is actually a bit stubborn, and it was difficult for him to apologize before, but this is a lesson he must learn. So I patiently explained to him, "You hurt me, which is a kind of harm to me. It would make me feel better if you could sincerely apologize. When you apologize, please look me in the eye and tell me. "

Son, try to say it again. In fact, this process of apology has been repeated several times. Although I can't fully meet the standard of sincere apology, I think my son's apology has been received and he has learned how to say sorry to others. Let's let him go for a while.

Next, I told my son, let's make an angry choice wheel.

I asked my son, "When you encounter difficulties in origami, you will feel very angry. What kind of feeling is that? " My son said he would throw something and tear up all the paper. I said that when the lid of your brain was opened, there was no way to solve the problem. What do you think can make you feel better and close the lid of your brain? Let's brainstorm So we discuss what he can do when he is angry. For him, we discuss perfection together. He paints on paper, throws pillows, plays computer games, reads books and eats ice cream (and drinks a cup of hot water at the same time). I suggested listening to music or jokes, but he refused, feeling more and more bored. He took the initiative to ask adults for help, so he drew two people talking.

Then, we cut a circle out of cardboard and draw five options for brainstorming on the disk. He tries to use colored mud as a pointer, so that the next time he encounters anger, he can come and turn the selection wheel and choose one to make himself feel better.

The whole thing has come to an end, and we have resumed the connection of "mother's kindness and filial piety" and our hearts have become mutual love again.

Five, the old mother's feelings and reflection

Well, being a mother is not easy. For such a long time, write it briefly. At that time, dealing with these things was more patient.

Although several days have passed, I can still see the bruise about one centimeter on the back of my hand, and I feel quite wronged in my heart, but what can I do? Going back to the two lists (that is, the current educational challenges and what kind of personality and skills I want my children to have in the future), if I deal with them by pinching them back and beating them, it will be evil, but my son will also learn to resist violence and learn to solve problems by force; But most importantly, I hope he can learn social skills to get along with others, such as how to firmly ask the other person to apologize when he is hurt, how to make up for others when he is hurt, how to adjust his mood when he is very angry, and how to return to solve problems after his mood is calm. Therefore, the key is not to punish children for the past, but to face the future and teach children the emotional skills they need to learn to adapt to society.

I think the way children lose their temper when they encounter setbacks in origami is also worthy of reflection. Usually when they encounter setbacks, they often complain in tears, how to face difficulties and how to deal with their own setbacks. He still has a lot to learn and grow in this respect, and I also need to consciously think about how to guide him to learn to deal with setbacks effectively.

Looking down at the bruises on my hands, I hope my children can learn and grow from this, then I deserve to be pinched this time, and my old mother silently shed two lines of tears!