Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Humorous sentences that ask others to help vote.
Humorous sentences that ask others to help vote.
A selection of humorous sentences asking for a vote
1. Olympic News: The Russian Olympic delegation was robbed as soon as it arrived in Rio. More than 60 robbers were all seriously injured, and only one Russian player was slightly injured because he stabbed himself with a bottle.
2. A man who is as strong as an iron tower has never been scolded by his thin wife, never moved his hand or even spoken. Whenever I am angry, I go to the railway station and deliberately expose my money to the outside for thieves to steal. Beating a thief is a tragedy! Over time, all the thieves in the railway station knew. When he came, he said that this grandson was angry at home, and Nima came out to find someone to vent it on!
After visiting the supermarket, I saw an old lady spending RMB in front of me. She took it out and handed it to the cashier. The cashier looked at your drawer and found that there was no change, so she asked her, Aunt, do you have any? The old lady smiled from ear to ear and replied cheerfully: Not bad, I have many sons.
At the beginning of school, the new teacher pushed the door and came in, slapped us on the podium, looked at us coldly and said, I tell you, I never speak justice. The atmosphere in the class suddenly became a bit dignified. After a while, his expression changed. He said, Because I teach geography?
5. It's not that many men in China don't like dressing up, but they are a little biased in aesthetics and confident in honey juice. For example. The same is trying on clothes. My mother will ask me if it looks good, I will say it doesn't, and my mother will go back for a change until we are both satisfied. My dad asked me, do I look good? I said I didn't look good. He said you didn't know anything, and then he went out.
6. Yesterday, my-year-old niece cried to me on QQ, saying that she broke up with her ex who had been dating for three weeks last night. She was in pain and advised me: Xiao Yan, love hurts too much! Also lamented: ask the world how to teach people to live and die together! Then continue to say: 18 years old is a wise decision not to fall in love.
7. After the athletes from all countries arrived at the Rio Olympic Village, delegations from other countries made preparations to prevent things from being lost. Only the DPRK delegation was the mobilizer and staff for preventing things from being lost.
8. I met my roommate when I came home from work today, and found that he smelled exactly like his girlfriend. The scum lying in the trough really paid a lot of money to seduce Lao Zi.
9. The recent weather, lying in bed, braising; Exaggerated mat, teppanyaki; After getting up, steam; Go out to cook; Swimming, boiling; On the way back, it blew up; Go into the house and go back to the pot. Today and tomorrow, when you go out, you should pay attention to flanging, pay attention to the heat, bring cumin and Chili powder, and don't burn it. We are streaking, we bring salt for ourselves!
10. In the morning, I have nothing to do. I overheard two women chatting at the entrance of the finance room: a woman who is usually very gentle made me laugh. "My man is really difficult to serve. I think my breasts are big during the day and small at night. When the old lady inflates! "
1 1. Discuss with your classmates in the summer vacation, which homework you do, which homework I do, and then copy it! Follow the plan. As a result, my classmates copied my summer homework and sent it back a week later, saying, "Your summer homework, what you did, was so wrong that I changed it for five days before I could copy it with confidence."
12. As a member of the system, my predecessors told me not to offend two kinds of female colleagues. One is very beautiful, with a powerful michel platini behind it; One is ugly, with a powerful father behind him.
13. When Beipiao returned to his hometown after many years, his mother came out of the kitchen slowly, holding a pot of tea in her hand, and said with concern, "When you are tired, drink quickly. This is the tea made by mother. " His face turned red, and he cocked his blue finger and picked up the cup.
14. News tutorial: An old lady fell on the road and broke her teeth. How did the reporter report it? Hong Kong Press Conference Accountability to the Municipal Government: Are there any hidden dangers in road construction? Taiwan Province reporter will follow up medical insurance: Who will pay for this filling? American press conference pays attention to the social level of the elderly: how do marginalized elderly people live? In Chinese mainland, it is said, "If one person loses his tooth, everyone will help him", "If the road is heartless, people have feelings" and "If the old man loses his tooth, will he help him or not? 》?
15. My husband has a pockmarked birthmark on his ass. One day, I chatted with my girlfriend and said that everyone on the Internet was discussing that if someone was injured and died in a previous life, the injured place would become a birthmark in this life. The boudoir blurted out: So your husband was stabbed to death by cactus in his last life? Haha, boudoir is so humorous! Wait! How do you know what birthmark my husband has on his ass? !
16. I was depressed the other day and told my friend who was studying medicine that I wanted to commit suicide. Hand strokes indicate that the knife cut the wrist. My friend who studied medicine said that I didn't cut it like this. It can only be a skin injury, not fatal. Speaking of excitement, you drew me a starting point with a pen?
17. How many months is the daughter-in-law pregnant? She likes to drink porridge since she got pregnant? At noon, I made pumpkin porridge and drank a big bowl. During the nap, I lay in bed and said, honey, I feel the child kicking me. Is it too much porridge that flooded him? This is a three-year-old baby brain?
18. In my sophomore year, a roommate was dumped by his girlfriend, stood on the balcony in despair and smoked, and suddenly turned around and said, Who can give me a reason not to commit suicide? A voice in the corner: It's your turn to clean the dormitory tomorrow?
19. The class teacher found a girl in our class because of puppy love and asked her what the boy's name was, but the girl didn't want to say. The head teacher said bitterly that you betrayed your teacher for a boy in a foreign teacher's class?
Chatting with the goddess online, my words reveal the hardships of being single for many years. The goddess replied that this state will change soon. I was secretly pleased, but I didn't expect her to send another sentence, you will suffer for many years soon.
Humorous sentence recommendation for requesting a vote
1. My deskmate's pen fell at my feet and asked me to pick it up. I silently picked it up and threw it where he could get it.
Every time I look in the mirror, I have an impulse to smash it. I am so handsome, there can only be one in the world.
I should put it on Taobao, because I am also a baby.
If I hadn't met a hairdresser who acted on my own, I would have found a small partner.
Six Classics heard the Five Classics talking to the Four Classics and saw her second aunt's period coming.
6. Everyone who insists on saying good night actually wants to fuck you one day!
7. Don't envy me for not having homework during the holiday. Do you know how tired I am to wear, eat and play every day?
As soon as I did my homework, I found the desk fun, the pen fun and the nails fun?
9. Every time you get angry with your daughter-in-law, you must calm down, take a deep breath and tell yourself: I chose, I deserved it, I chose, I deserved it.
10. I thank two people in summer: one is Willis? Carrier is an American. He invented air conditioning. Another China man named Hou Yi killed a sun.
1 1. I played with mosquitoes all night yesterday and finally got even. It's not full, and I haven't slept well.
12. It is said that boys touch girls' heads% because they like them, and girls touch boys' heads% because they touch their sons.
13. As an emotional person, I didn't realize that I forgot to play light music until I finished my manicure.
14. I have three friends, one is Dongyan, the other is Xizui and the other is Naner. What is my name, please? Yes, my name is Babe.
15. How to respond gracefully: "Why don't you fall in love now?" "My mother told me not to hurt anyone."
16. Amitabha, don't be so stubborn in math, wait for the poor monk to sprout you.
17. After years of study experience, I know that classes are used for sleeping, homework is used for burning, and blackboards are used for doodling?
18. Someone asked me what I meant by taking only one spoonful of weak water. I said the world only wants you.
19. Don't think that I deliberately went to your space to see you, and the touch-screen phone accidentally arrived?
20. Every time the teacher says, please put something unrelated to the exam on the podium, I want to put myself on it.
Humorous sentences asking for a vote
1. The unit has a goddess-level sister. Single dog people are as excited as chicken blood, trying their best to get the attention of beautiful women. What I can't understand is that my colleague A not only didn't join, but also kept giving advice to B, and finally got the heart of the goddess. So I have serious doubts about A's sexual orientation. Everything was relieved until I learned that B had a sister who was more goddess than a goddess.
2. I quarreled with my boyfriend last night, and I shouted angrily: get out, you get out! ? He was also very angry and replied, OK, you say, I'll go! ? Seeing his back turned away, I couldn't help crying. As soon as he heard it, he turned around and shouted, cry my ass, work the night shift at night, and I'll come back tomorrow morning?
3. History teacher: "Let's talk about War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression. First the September 18th Incident, then what? " The whole class is thinking, the history teacher: "Of course, Lu Zhenhua and Yiping Ru Ping came to Shanghai from the northeast, met Shuhuan, and then it rained deeply?"
4. The physics teacher of Grade Two once took a class of students, and the classroom was on the second floor. Once, a classmate in their class looked around and found the physics teacher looking at them in the tree outside the window.
When my mother was a child, when my sister was naughty, she said, Be obedient! Go find your own mother! Once my sister went to my grandmother's house in tears and insisted that she take her to her own mother. And then I lick my mom?
6. At work today, my colleague's face is a little swollen. What happened? Colleague: Oh, forget it. I met a girl last night, had dinner, watched a movie, checked in and took a shower. I jumped on her and shivered! As a result, people say, "I'm sorry, I'm not a lady." I said, "I know you are not a little sister. I am not going to give you money? " then what
7. Listen to what my mother says. Once my mother had her period, and there were no sanitary napkins at home. Besides her, I have a live one, so my mother gave me a few dollars to buy it in a small shop in the village. Poor me, I was only five years old. After walking a few hundred meters, my memory was a little vague, so I bought a pack of monosodium glutamate.
8. Idiot goes on blind date. Seeing the girl so beautiful and stupid, the matchmaker reminded her to talk to her. When Hall stepped forward, he held the girl's hand and didn't know what to say. Afraid of the cold scene, he said, "Happy New Year! Happy Spring Festival? "
9. When I moved the bricks home, I saw my son watching TV. I said to him happily, "Look who has gone home." The son shouted to the kitchen, "Mom, come and see. Dad is stupid at work and doesn't know who he is. "
10. A sister paper drove to work for the first time after getting a driver's license, and put her female colleague who used to ride an electric car to work together away from the green belt. When people ask her what she was thinking. Sister paper looked embarrassed and said, "I wanted to say hello to her, but I forgot that I was driving this time?"
1 1. Can't sleep in the morning; Sleep at night!
12. There is a kind of person who only does two things. If you succeed, he is jealous of you. You failed and he laughed at you.
13. Earn other people's money and go to hell with poverty.
14. The highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get their own salary.
15. I really want to control your grandpa's crying and dad myself!
16. I like flirting with men when there are no women!
17. Who can not shoot for a minute-"China National Football Team"
18. Life doesn't care about the length, just want to live wonderfully, eat well and be healthy!
19. Water makes noise because it is blocked, and people mature because of setbacks!
20. At most, I am a descendant of Lei Feng. Please call me Ren Lei!
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