How to educate children to be timid when biting?

Watermelon mother recently gave small watermelon a new nickname: "coward", but small watermelon doesn't like this nickname! My mother said that when I was a child, the little watermelon was naughty and active, fearless and courageous. What about now? When you meet a stranger, hide behind Ma Ma. I often cry when I meet bugs and animals, and I am particularly timid. Small watermelon is a little man, how can it be timid? So, Ma Ma deliberately left the little watermelon in a strange crowd and then "disappeared" by herself, and deliberately sent the kitten and puppy to the little watermelon ... The little watermelon was so scared that I dared not do that if I wanted to be brave. ...

Where does the fear of cowards come from?

Every parent hopes that their children will be more courageous, dare to fight and be fearless when they grow up. However, lack of courage is really beyond our control sometimes. It is influenced by congenital factors and acquired environmental factors. The little watermelon thinks that many "cowards" are "cultivated" by Baba's mother.

1, natural psychological law, fear of the unknown.

Mawang User @JudyQin: I was robbed at home and suffered serious losses. Seeing that we were panicked and angry and reacted strongly, Bao Xiao noticed it, so I told him that the bad guys stole our things, and the bad guys were so hateful. However, instead of reassuring Bao Xiao, it made him feel more afraid of "bad guys". Every time we go out, he says, "Ma Ma, don't go, the bad guys are coming to steal"; When taking him out, he is always worried about "will the bad guys take me away?" ; Sometimes I suddenly wake up in my sleep and say, "Bad people don't steal from our house." ...

Bian Xiao said "ignorance is fearless", but the fact is that people are more likely to be afraid of the unknown. Fear is a basic emotion that naturally appears in the process of children's socialization, because there are too many things in this world that they don't know. They don't know if these unknown things will suddenly make a scene, when they will attack them, and whether they will have an impact on their originally stable lives ... Children are naturally imaginative and good at combining imaginary things with reality, thus "seeing" or "thinking" fears that adults can't understand. Therefore, to make children "fearless", we must first "know" the truth of the matter.

2. Parents are overprotective and lack the confidence to face independently.

Mom @ Sean Mommy: I always feel that I have done too much for my daughter before, and I have done everything for her. Now my daughter is three and a half years old and wants to exercise her independence, but she is too timid to speak when she meets strangers. No one dares to play with the child, so she doesn't want to sleep alone and cry every day ... I don't want to indulge her, but I don't know how to exercise her courage, worry!

Mama. com user @ 中中中中中 gz: My son is afraid of the dark, strangers and small animals. He is five years old and still has little courage. He depends on his parents for everything and even cries when he leaves. However, I know there is a reason for this. Before, we put him in grandma's care. Her grandmother is good at "If you don't listen, the bad guys will catch him", "Running around lest the tiger catch you and bite you", "Old witches like to catch children who don't sleep at night" ... It is the biggest mistake in my life to let my mother-in-law take care of the children. However, today's children are too timid, how can I break them?

Bian Xiao said that the netizen had realized the influence of bad upbringing on children's "courage", but it was a little late. The negative emotions instilled by parents will make children retreat more and more and lack self-confidence, while the "fictional" horror scene of parents is more likely to make children fall into fear. These frightening pictures will be deeply imprinted in children's minds, and these pictures will be regarded as real existence and linked with their own lives, thus keeping children in fear for a long time. In this case, how can a child be "bold"?

Mom A: "Don't be afraid, mom killed the snake with a stick, and no snake bit you!" " "As a result, the child felt that there really was a snake in the room. When the snake is killed, its friends will come for revenge. As a result, they are even more afraid.

Mom B: "You were dreaming just now. Your dreams are all false. There are no snakes in the room. Please turn on the light. " . The child turned on the light and looked inside and outside the room. Sure enough, there were no snakes, so he went to bed.

Bian Xiao said that when children are afraid, the best way is to let them get rid of their fears, instead of running away from them or "suppressing" them with another kind of fear. Children are afraid to associate with others and accomplish everything in life independently. Mom should encourage her and gently push her out. She will be the strong backing behind her. Children have the support and encouragement of their mothers, and only when they know that their mothers are silently protecting themselves behind their backs can they move forward boldly. On the contrary, if Ma Ma misleads children by intimidation and deception, not only can it not eliminate fear, but it will deepen fear invisibly, which is a bad idea to lead children in a timid direction.

2. Explain patiently and let the children know the truth.

Outside the window, there was a strong wind, thunder and lightning, the wind roared and thunder rumbled, which was terrible. The five-year-old child was frightened and hugged his mother tightly. ...

Mom A: "It doesn't matter, don't be afraid, mom is here ..." The child feels at ease for the time being, but the next time she encounters this situation, her mother is not around, and she will cry in fear.

Mom B: "No, it's the wind whistling and the thunder rumbling. It's all caused by XXX, which is normal and will pass soon. " Children seem to understand, but knowing that these are normal natural phenomena, there is no need to be afraid.

Case 3-year-old baby is used to playing alone. When he saw children of the same age, his eyes were obviously eager to play with others, but he dared not take a step and leave the arms of his parents. ...

Mom A: "Go and play with children, but don't rob other people's toys. Don't hit people, don't bite people, okay? " The child thought, mother doesn't trust me to play with other children. If I accidentally meet them, I will be scolded. I had better not play with them.

Mom B: "Go and play with the children. They all like you very much. They really want to build blocks with you! " "The children think that I am a popular child. If I play with them, they will be very happy. I am also happy to build blocks with them.

Bian Xiao said that parents' encouragement is very important for timid children. However, don't attach more "additional conditions" to this kind of encouragement, because these additional conditions will often become the psychological worries of children's courage, make them timid and unable to do well by themselves, thus suppressing the little self-confidence that has just risen. If you want your baby to be more courageous, not timid, and more willing to contact and explore new things, you should let go of your hands as much as possible and let your child exercise and travel independently. What you need to do is to ensure the safety of children's lives, that's all.

Bian Xiao concluded that this is good for children who are bold and dare to try and explore, and it will be an important skill for their future life and work. However, timid, quiet and calm children may not be unsuccessful. After all, being able to "calm down" and concentrate on one thing is also an important condition for success. Therefore, no matter whether the baby is brave or small, there is no need to care too much. According to children's own personality characteristics, shaping a more perfect personality is the key. Whether or not children need to "practice bravery", correct family education will play an important role.