It's so real! "Mama Circle" is touted in person and slandered behind.

People living in the same community often form a circle of "baby mothers" because their children play together. To say that this circle is quite simple, there is almost no intersection outside the children. However, some people can't handle this relationship well, and casually say that their parents are short, which has aroused the dissatisfaction of others. Some people's starting point is to "befriend" their neighbors, but the result is self-defeating.

I wanted to "set porcelain" with my neighbors, but I didn't expect to stir up a hornet's nest.

Ruiyun has been a full-time mother for 9 years. In recent years, Ruiyun's circle of friends is very small, limited to a few "baby mothers" in the community. When she got home from sending her children this morning, she brushed her mobile phone and suddenly found a circle of friends sent by Mars, the mother of Doudou, yesterday: "My niece wants to eat leeks in jiaozi, but I didn't buy leeks after work." Mars works in a hospital. She often works day shifts and night shifts, and her work is particularly irregular. Ruiyun immediately came to the spirit and quickly dialed the number. The phone rang seven or eight times, and Mars's sleepy voice came from the other end of the phone: "Hello?" "Jade-like stone, I am Ruiyun. Well, didn't you buy leeks yesterday? I tell you, the nearest vegetable market in our village is the sixth stall on the left. Their leek leaves are green, and your daughter will like them ... "

Ruiyun's barrage made Mars, who just got off the night shift, very upset. Li Ying held her breath and perfunctory: "Nothing, yesterday the child ate quick-frozen food, and today she won't eat jiaozi." With that, Li Ying wanted to find a reason to hang up the phone to catch up on her sleep, but unexpectedly, Ruiyun didn't mean to stop at all, and soon started a new topic on the phone. Mr. Zhang's parents and Mr. Li's family are short. The words are dense, just like a tailor, he can sew everything together. At first, Mars was able to talk a few words, but later, she was really tired, so she simply put the phone on the speaker and let Ruiyun speak in a low voice.

"Jade-like stone, you know? I am still happy with these stay-at-home mothers in our community. My husband's salary card is in my hand, and everything is at my disposal. Some sisters, rich men, women who only have some money to buy food and cook, have lost their jobs and status, and really become yellow-faced women ... "Ruiyun said excitedly here, while Mars was almost squinting over there.

"Jade-like stone, did you hear me? I tell you, a few days ago, I met Alina Zhang, and Alina Zhang also mentioned you, saying that the director who introduced you has been to the hospital several times, and it is not good at all ... "Li Ying was still a little sleepy at first, but when she heard this, she immediately disappeared, and angrily replied," She is so melodramatic! What I recommend to her is a recognized expert in the industry. When she asked me for help, she asked me to say hello in advance, twisting her face and saying that the person I introduced could not! Next time I see her, I have to make it clear. Don't call me for a headache in the future. I am not their family doctor! "

After listening to Mars's confession, Ruiyun found himself stirring up a hornet's nest: "Forget it, blame me for my thoughtlessness, just forget it ..."

Chewing the "root of the tongue" behind your back is self-defeating and blackened.

Hang up Mars's phone, Ruiyun was on pins and needles. Reasoning, she called Alina Zhang. This time, Ruiyun was more careful and didn't directly shake out the disaster he caused. First, she asked about the situation, and then she began to befriend: "Meng, I really envy your work. The wind can't blow, the rain can't blow, and there is no task assessment. It's time to get off work. Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? Li Ying earns a lot as a doctor, but she is several years older than us. Woman, what's the use of making so much money? ! "

On the other end of the phone, Alina Zhang heard Ruiyun say this, and she was very helpful: "Yes, I think you are also quite good. Instead of going to work every day, you can spend a lot of time relaxing. I think you've gained weight recently. As the old saying goes, if you are broad-minded and fat, you must live comfortably! "

Ruiyun and Alina Zhang flatter each other, which makes Ruiyun relaxed. Finally, Ruiyun said, "Meng, well, I talked to you on the phone about meeting you that day. Mars said that the director recommended to you is really a well-known expert. I think there are many reasons why your illness has not improved. Don't mistake her ... "Ruiyun's voice did not fall, and Alina Zhang over there was already surprised:" I just said it casually. Why did you tell her? " ! You really have nothing to do if you don't go to work! "

The phone was suddenly hung up, and Ruiyun's heart thumped. For several days, she was very nervous, afraid to meet Mars and Alina Zhang in the community. In fact, from her true heart, she never meant to provoke two "baby mothers" to fight. She just wants to make friends with them alone and try to be "best friends". In Ruiyun's view, if two people chew the other person's "tongue root" behind his back, it means that they have the same secret and the relationship will be more iron. But she never thought that this time she was a little self-defeating, and she was not a person inside and outside.

A few days later, Ruiyun felt that the previous events could be reversed. When she tried to talk to Alina Zhang on WeChat, she found that Alina Zhang had blacked her out. She quickly visited Mars's WeChat and Mars's circle of friends. Ruiyun only saw a harsh "gray line"-people wouldn't let her see it. Ruiyun waited for a while and stood there for a long time. ...

Expert advice: don't use "gossip" to brush the sense of existence.

Yu Xueya, a national second-level psychological counselor, said that Ruiyun, a stay-at-home mother in the story, has two psychological problems: one is the lack of "sense of existence"; The second is the lack of "security". Therefore, she chose to gossip about other people's lives to brush her sense of existence and highlight her importance in small groups; At the same time, it is also intended to belittle others and raise themselves in order to gain a sense of identity and security.

At the end of the story, Ruiyun felt deeply frustrated. Actually, it's not surprising, because she didn't grasp the "boundary" of today's neighborhood relationship, and intervened in the neighbor's life in the name of "caring", gossiping, gossiping, and sooner or later people around her would resist.

In the circle of "baby mom", a small group closer than ordinary neighbors and farther than friends, what can we do to make the relationship more harmonious and more comfortable with each other? In fact, the most crucial thing is two words: discretion.

Specifically, we should pay attention to two points: first, listen more, talk less and don't comment; The second is to live your own life behind closed doors. If others ask you for help, then get involved in each other's life. If you can't do these two things, although you may be "kind", your neighbors may think that you are "disturbing" other people's lives.

Finally, I want to say a few words to the group of "stay-at-home mothers": Please put your time and energy into learning knowledge and updating ideas, so that one day when your children no longer need you, you can still integrate into the society and not be out of touch with the times.